dave258
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Posts posted by dave258
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Former employee announced that he wouldn't be at work the following day because he'd had "a vision" and the world was going to end the the following month. So he didn't see the point in spending his last days on earth at work rather than enjoying himself.
Accepted the nutjob's resignation in a heartbeat & declined to give him his old job back when he called 6 weeks later, with the world having surprisingly not ended as per his schedule.
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Starting a sentence but without providing any context as to what she's prattling on about. She seems to say the context part at the end rather than beginning with it, and I'm expected to suddenly telepathically attune to what's going on in her skull. Tonight's example, after sitting in silence for 5 mins or so watching telly:
Her: raita dip!
Me:..... what?
Her: that would work wouldn't it?
Me:.... what would work?
Her: well there's no sense in it going to waste
Me: why the f**k are you going on about some kind of dip? Waste what?
Her: well we have yogurt and cucumber in the fridge, I could make dip.
Me:......
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3 hours ago, Honest_Man#1 said:
Is there any way a company can use card details you’ve only put in once to put through another payment (not a direct debit, details from a one off purchase)?
I pay my gym membership on a monthly plan where I can cancel anytime, but last night I accidentally bought a 3 month plan which is a fiver cheaper, but you are committing to 3 months. I mentioned this today and asked to pay the extra fiver and switch back to my usual plan but they said I’ve committed to 3. Surely I can just not input my card details and refuse to pay for the next 2?
The only rational response is to burn down the gym imo.
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I like how the thread title seems to suggest that the monkey attended the event rather than "worked" at it per se. I'm envisaging that the reading events are Monday nights & rainbow dildo monkey night is Tuesdays, and the whole thing was just a hilarious misunderstanding.
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8 hours ago, the aggressive beggar said:
I win this thread.
I swear on my kids lives this actually just happened.
She just asked me, "who picks the penalty takers? The manager, David Beckham or Prince William?"
On a night of footballing comedy, this was the icing on the cake
Mine was adamant that if the fans didn't stop booing the Italian national anthem that Gareth Southgate should go out and tell them all to behave or he'd send the players home.
Putting her forward to be UEFA president at the next available opportunity tbh.
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On 06/07/2021 at 23:52, dave258 said:
Not strictly a win yet but guaranteed £80 profit minimum so I'm counting it
£340 banked
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Italy sparing me from some unbearable English friends & colleagues over the next few days/many years.
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£20 each way on Italy at 10s pre-tournament, so guaranteed profit no matter what happens. Offered £212 to cash out but going to let it run.
Also live in Central London so I feel your pain - tomorrow will either be the best day at work in a long time or the absolute worst ever
Probably not gonna go down the killing spree route though TBH.
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5 hours ago, Zetterlund said:
Working from home? Not for me thanks. Currently getting paid to sit looking at this for 4 hours. Bonus points for knowing where this is.
At sea?
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6 minutes ago, Highlandmagyar Tier 3 said:
You are a Rangers fan?? What you doing on here stinking the place out?
Solely trying to annoy you mate.
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14 minutes ago, dave258 said:
Bought the Thistle-Pars game to pass the time this afternoon. Decent game so far, Thistle look well on top after the goal, Turner unlucky off the bar there.
Prob shouldn't have said anything... sorry Thistle fans
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Bought the Thistle-Pars game to pass the time this afternoon. Decent game so far, Thistle look well on top after the goal, Turner unlucky off the bar there.
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13 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:
Wales?
ETA: UP yours @dave258
Charming
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39 minutes ago, sophia said:
Indeed, there are pluses and minuses
Frankly I find the very idea to be repellent.
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1 hour ago, Shandon Par said:
He knows how to treat a woman! Mr romantic.
Probably going to Bangor. I think thats what he said anyway...
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1 hour ago, Shandon Par said:
What country can you drive to that’s three hours from London?
Wales? Maybe?
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2 hours ago, Shandon Par said:
You are a disappointing husband, father, lover and man.
Agreed. Throbber you sound like an absolute, well, throbber. A week off from your main responsibility in life and you can't see that it was a benefit to you at all.
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2 hours ago, mizfit said:
Am I glad I’m off today and I avoid the English members of management.
No such luck here, London based so this morning has been pretty unbearable.
Monday has potential to be a lot worse... hoping they're all too hungover to come to work if the worst happens.
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Profitable week so far
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2 hours ago, dave258 said:
Ah well, this fell well short but shorter price version came in with a Denmark corner on 88 mins
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8 hours ago, welshbairn said:
Another tenner from Bet365 for England v Denmark. Will be a bit more sensible this time and try to turn it into cash.
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Not strictly a win yet but guaranteed £80 profit minimum so I'm counting it
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2 minutes ago, Sugar_Army said:
As part of our project we used to run an animal handling group for 16-19yr olds aimed at helping them with confidence/anxiety/social skills.
The focus was on the animals and not them and before they realised it they were suddenly in a group making friends and looking forward in life and making plans.
The woman used to bring in all manner of animals to our office, our boardroom looked like Ace Ventura's living room at times but it was a great success for helping them start to overcome personal barriers.
One week the handler announced she was going to bring in a reptiles and snakes. The following week, without warning, one of the young people turned up at our office with a 4 foot python round her neck as she wanted to show her pet to the animal handler and the rest of her group. She had come on the bus!
That's one way to get a bus seat to yourself I suppose.
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I live in London, party round mines on the 19th lads. Bring your own carry oot, and no c**t invite wee Nicola. Or those mad twitter bints every keeps quoting.
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Work colleagues
in The General Nonsense Forum
Posted
Not really a morning person tbh