Jump to content


Platinum Members
  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Posts posted by dave258

  1. Attended my girlfriend's grandads funeral yesterday in their native Yorkshire. Absolutely stunned to find out they refer to the scran etc after a funeral as "a bunfight" rather than a purvey.

    Thought they were winding me up at first but Google says it's a thing. 

  2. 7 minutes ago, 'WellDel said:

    Security is not her strong point.

    The carpark in our street is such that everyone uses their back door rather than the front as their main access to the house. I've come home (again) tonight to find the back door wide open, with her handbag and car keys lying right there on the worktop.

    Wander into the house to find her upstairs fannying about with some tat she's bought for the spare room, but I'm the cnut for calling her out.

    Actually happened a few weeks ago on a warm day when I came in to find her bag, phone and car keys lying on the table in the garden, but that was ok as she'd 'just nipped upstairs to change into something lighter'. and would only be a minute.

    Like some opportunist thief would pass up the chance of some cash and bank cards, an i-phone and the keys to a 6 month old Mini since she'd 'be back in a minute'.



    You're right mate that's not on.

    Send me your address and I'll nip round and have a word.

  3. 10 hours ago, Raithie said:

    "yeah but I need a pee first"

    "well use the bog in Morrisons or the bog at your work"

    "oh no, I'm not pishing in a public toilet"


    This... wtf is this about? She'd genuinely rather sit there bursting for 4 hours and near greeting with pain than spray a wee drop hand sanitiser on some bog roll and wipe the seat. 

    We'll never understand them. 

    Mine has been nipping my head to go to the doctor for a sprained ankle because it still hurts after ~3 weeks. I pointed out it's nigh on impossible to get a doctors appointment just now, and even if I miraculously did I'd be told to keep weight off it and rest til it heals (which is what I've been trying to do). Best case scenario is a physio referral which will be a waiting list of a year plus - but apparently I'll feel loads better if I follow these simple steps.

    Long story short I'm now shelling out £80 for a private physio consultation next week.

  4. My issue is that despite working more hours than your average convenience store clerk recently & typically coming home to sit on the laptop til 10pm, it seems that the fact she's on the rag means all my shit has to stop and the world must revolve around her.

    Literally just wanted 15 mins to myself last night after people barking at me since 8am, but apparently it was imperative that I learn about what Tracy did at work and why it was Trudy's fault and why that means Tina isn't allowed to sit with them at lunch anymore. The names may be made up, I could only hear white noise after the first 30 seconds or so tbh.

    ETA: ah f**k it never mind

  5. 6 hours ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

    The war department is a fine cook. Particularly with the baking, which I have no knack for. What she can't do is clean up as she goes, or after herself once she's done - or at all - in the kitchen, meaning it's easier for me to make a batch lot of anything that would feed 50 than it is to let her do so much as pasta and sauce. 

    She has more than once arrived home at night and found the kitchen clean and asked if I've actually made the tea, seemingly thinking it impossible that someone could actually cook and clean up at the same time. 

    100x this. Surprised there are any plates left to eat off after she's turned the kitchen into Hiroshima.

  6. 8 hours ago, philpy said:

    These might accidentally "fall off" and go in the bin soon....🤔



    My Mrs does this, but to be fair keeps them confined to a tiny 3' x 2' cork board so doesn't impact me in the slightest 

    5 hours ago, Trackdaybob said:

    She's off out tonight with friends for a meal. Which is fine. 

    "I'll let you know if I need a lift, Sylvia will probably give me a lift back, I'll text you though". 

    Table was booked for 7. I'm still none the wiser. So I can't have a beer. 

    My money is on her not confirming with Sylvia one way or the other because she thinks asking her might upset her. Or some such crap. 

    She'll rock up about half 10 having been dropped off by Sylvia of course. I'll have a drink then. 


    What is wrong with you man, if you've not heard from her by 7 30 crack a beer and then she's Sylvia's problem when she texts you

  7. 27 minutes ago, GordonS said:

    I assume you're new to this game, apologies if not, but one rule I've learned is that the conclusion of every hair appointment is more delayed than a new tram line.

    So arranging to meet in the pub was a good move; booking a table in a restaurant would be, as I learned the hard way, a mistake. 

    Why do you think I arranged to meet a the pub in the first place?

  8. 18 hours ago, Torpar said:

    I was recently assigned to a project in another area of our business along with 4 of my colleagues, we all had exactly the same training from one of the actual trainers in the company, we also have the boss of the other department and three other more experienced colleagues that we were told to direct questions towards. Instead 3 of the 4 people assigned to the project with me have decided I’m the one they should ask all their (often stupid) questions to. Apart from questions about the new work we are doing, which they could answer themselves if only they had paid attention in training, I’ve been asked how to search for something in Excel, is a phone number out of service if I get a message telling me it is out of service? How do I copy the contents of an email onto a word document? How do I move documents from one folder to another? Why can’t I see the date in Excel? (the column was too small) and Why can’t I get these two documents to sit beside each other in the folder like yours?

    I sometimes wonder if they just pulled all the morons from our department to work from this other one, and how much of a moron that makes me.



    Raging that you posted that Simpsons image. I was thinking "Head Bee Guy" the whole way through reading 😂

  9. 27 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

    Against a backdrop of her constant huffing that "this hoose is always a bombsite" and other tidiness whining, I iust discovered aswell as a shitty auld storage box thing, shes also took a cast off massive bean bag off her maw, which we have no place for and is not filling the wee cupboard under the stair.

    Literally all this thing that someone else didnt want is going to do is waste space until I have to take it to the cowp.

    Why the f**k

    Aye, I get similar. She simply cannot admit/recognise the fact that she's a hoarder. 

    Her work sent her a foodie gift box thing the other day & part of it was a kitchen apron with company brand embroidered on it. After she ranted about how pointless & waste of money it was I told her just to bin it.

    The apron is jammed in one of the overflowing kitchen drawers now.

  • Create New...