Ya Bezzer!

I was on the train from Motherwell going to work one morning and there was a bunch of Germans, four or five of them chatting away just up the carriage. As the train went past New Douglas Park the group got super excited. faces pressed against the window, virtually hyperventilating. If it'd had been the Maracanã it would have been excessive. Odd, odd behaviour.

With the Motherwell and Aberdeen kits that fixture is going to be like 1983 all over again. Except that the players and managers are crap of course.

Brainbox - Down Man (1969) Some class Nederbeat featuring Jan Akkerman on guitar, a guy that doesn't get much props but was right up there with the top 1960's guitarists.

Lynn Collins - Mama Feelgood 1973 I think.

All the scum come out at night So I pull over and get a bite Stare at the blacks, the pimps, the freaks Then swab the cum off my back seat. Then I see a girl of such great beauty One to whom I'd love so truly Blonde and innocent and really groovy We'll go and see a dirty movie But woe the date t'was a travesty She even returned the gift LP All my calls she keeps on missin' Think I'll go murder some politician

The Cramps - 'Chicken' Not only does it have Chicken in the title it also has possibly the best chicken pickin' guitar solo of all time. Buck buck buckey!

The 'original' version of Motherwell's new kit is the first one I remember from back in the day so I've always liked it and the invoked nostalgia around it. Dundee kit is nice enough, nothing mind blowing but I always prefer 'traditional' kits over something too wacky.......which brings us to Hibs. Graphics on kits stink. They fucking stink. Just print 'tacky' over the shirt and be done with it!

Andy Chalmers has been invited to a Guinness Book of Records award ceremony after breaking the record for most clothes worn at one time. Andy said he was delighted but wasn't sure if he could attend as he had a lot on.

Yeah if the core of the team played together, I dunno, 25 or 30 times, I'm sure you'd see them coming together. Oh wait.....

So how does this work? McGregor is on loan to Scotland for their matches but can't play against his club? Celtic, Rangers and Scotland are all completely and utterly shite defensively. So it comes down to offensive power and Celtic and Rangers are much better than Scotland in that regard. They are also both more of a cohesive team, an area where Scotland are absolutely fucking atrocious. Most of the time Scotland look like they have never met each other before. I mean Rangers and Celtic are horrible clubs but anyone that thinks this Scotland would triumph over them is letting their own biases cloud their judgement. Northern Ireland should finish in a Euro place easily, which says something about the standard outside the top 2. The caveat to that is that they are managed by a complete diddy.

Turnbull should just retire from international football. Treated like shite by U21s as well. Ball players are 'suspect' in this country. Until that changes we will do nothing at international level. McTominay has 32 caps and Turnbull has 1 start. Fucking hell. How many utterly garbage corners do we need to take before the best set piece taker in the squad gets a chance? Just fucking that.

Ireland score 2 goals in 12 League of Nations matches. Then we turn up and they more than double it in 50 minutes.

Our players deserve this result. Can't wait for Robertson or McGinn to come out and make excuses again and then say they are learning and it'll come good.

Couldn't be arsed for 70 minutes v Ukraine. Couldn't be arsed for 45 minutes v Armenia. Couldn't be arsed for 45 minutes v Ireland (so far). Anyone seeing a trend here?

Not just the nation, all of Europe.

Pretty boring close season so far but Ross County probably losing out the most in terms of quality players moving on. Have a lot of creativity and goals to replace. Will have to recruit well in the coming couple of months I'd suggest.

I have nearly all the Scottish League Review books. It has to said the stats in them, at least the early editions, are absolutely atrociously inaccurate.

I know he isn't but he can't even hack it as a midfielder for his club which is why Manchester United fans are currently constructing a giant trebuchet to fire him out of the Salford area.

We should never be playing defenders that have been getting an utter roasting every week, all season, for their clubs. By playing Hanley, McTominay and Cooper against Ukraine we picked three of them. McKenna and Hendry should have started the last match.

Armenia have a guy on the bench called Bichakhchyan which I'm assuming is pronounced Bi Jackie Chan.

In terms of the current Scottish Premiership surprisingly only two players started every game last season. Jack Fitzwater started all 38 matches but was substituted on, I think, 2 occassions, so didn't play every minute. The other, Liam Kelly of Motherwell played ever league minute of 21/22. In fact he's played every minute of football Motherwell have played since making his debut on the 9th January 2021, amounting to 67 league and cup matches in a row.

When I was a school kid I'd often seen Motherwell's Cup final winning goal scorer Stevie Kirk in the chippie at lunch time ordering a bag of fritters. 'Just like me' I'd think.

And four degrees of separation from a human face.

Sure Kilmarnock will do very well next season with nine 6'3 cloggers defending a 1-0 headed goal from a corner for 65 minutes.

You are totally wrong about that but even if you were right at least put him on for the last 10 minutes to take corners and set pieces.