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An Sionnach

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Posts posted by An Sionnach

    Things you want to share with P&B

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    When I got in the door this morning I got the fright of my life when I discovered that one of my hamsters had escaped from its cage and was running around the hallway. I was greeted by one cat a metre to the left, one a metre to the right and this scurrying creature slap bang in the middle of the corridor in what must have been seconds from death.

    Safe though *searches for phew smiley!*

    Scottish SPCA

    Animal Helpline 03000 999 999

    ph34r.gif

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    Things you want to share with P&B

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    And today I was refereeing, I correctly disallowed a goal in the last minute and the other teams manager went ape-shit at me. (School teams this is, and a teacher was their manager).

    Get it up ye Kings Park ya bunch of tossers.

    Was this, by any chance, at the Prospecthill Road Sports Centre pitches, opposite Asda in Toryglen?

    I only ask because we heard a lot of noise coming from there yesterday afternoon and your description fits a lot of the cries of "Ref, you're a c**t" echoing up the hill towards our house.....laugh.gif

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    Things you want to share with P&B

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    whistling.gif

    Their/your (if you are going) team still have five players, don't they?

    I know there is at least one girl in the side and they have convinced an experienced and skilful goalkeeper/manager to come out of retirement, so yes, you are technically correct - there are five players!mad.gif

    That may well be the most liberal use of the words "team" and "players" in the history of mankind.

    I was about to argue with you but, in all honesty, you are spot on! dry.gif

    I suppose the one blessing is that I have made a will.....sad.gif

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    Things you want to share with P&B

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    From an email to me from my son...

    I've been really busy all week organizing, or trying to at least, a 5-a-side team for this year. I spent yesterday afternoon trekking through Renfrewshire with Smurph to give Div the entry fee, because "it seemed like a good idea at the time".

    The great thing about Judas was that although he died young, he died rich, and achieved worldwide notoriety. Smurph has clearly chosen the path of greatness treachery. wink.gif

    Suitably amended, in light of the above! Hang your head in shame, Smurph! mad.gif

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    Things you want to share with P&B

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Filling in an application form for John Lewis just now. I feel like I'm pretty much whoring myself out here. I have never praised one company as much as I am praising John Lewis just now.

    f**k Vectron. Praise John Lewis! (and gee's a job while you're at it, please).

    Hmmm, abandoning your principles seems to be a common trait for you these days - like jumping ship to Ad Nauseum's Christian Tendancy 5's Team! dry.gif

    -2

    Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    'Sake man!

    Have you been battering in aboot the wine gums this morning?

    laugh.gif

    I have absolutely no idea what this means, but I laughed at it anyway... unsure.gif

    Fuxake, the implication is is that you are so "fragile" and innocent you would become intoxicated on a Maynards Wine Gum thus leading to the spouting of the vitriolic, "stream-of-consciousness", anti-Scottish banalities prevelant in your earlier post. Or...

    ..are you PISHED?!?!?!rolleyes.gif

    -2

    Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    You are NOT "Bonkers Baz" or "Superb Steve", you are a pair of cúnts in shitty t-shirts going on holiday to Magalouf.

    And wearing sashes denoting you are the bride to be's "Mum", "Auntie", "Best Mate" is crass....oh, and wearing an "L-Plate", purleeease....Don't tell me you haven't fúcked him already.....dry.gif

    Yes, I had an entertaining arrival at work this morning.....rolleyes.gif

    -3

    Things you want to share with P&B

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Would you rather eat it live?

    I'd rather not eat it at all!

    Incidentally, daughter and I were in Edinburgh on Monday and were having a meal in an Italian place just down from Calton Hill. I ordered a mozzarella, tomato and basil salad. When it came it was topped with six rashers of cold bacon slices, but not a mention of them in the menu's description of the dish.dry.gif Fortunately, my daughter scoffed them all for me. biggrin.gif

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    Quick Question Thread

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Two girls, one cup. wink.gif

    Or Divine in John Walter's 1972 film Pink Flamingos.....

    The infamous ending starts as Crackers, Cotton and Divine walk down the street, where they spot a dog and its owner. The dog defecates on the sidewalk, and Divine sits down next to it. She takes the feces in her hand and puts it in her mouth, proving as the narrator states, she is "not only the filthiest person in the world, but is also the world's filthiest actress

    Admittedly, it's dog poo not human poo but the principle's the same. smile.gif

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    Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    Kilt, was there any need for that? I'll remember to punch you in the face. mad.gif

    Yes. I see groups of lads and lasses in "comedy" T-shirts leaving for Arrecife, Malaga, Faro, Ibiza and suchlike every single day during the summer. It's banal and tedious and I loathe the sight of them.dry.gif

    And, if you try to punch me in the face, I shall have a wee word with my friends on the desk behind me, Strathclyde Police and Special Branch. Then my colleagues in Customs, where it will be a pleasure to watch you undergo a full strip and body cavity examination. I can even arrange for the pictures to be posted up here!

    Have a nice day!tongue.gif

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    Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    I'll be arriving in Glasgow in mid Aug and departing mid Sep. Hopefully Kilt will have sorted this pish out by then so I my private limo can pick me up from outside the terminal exit.

    That's a matter for Raynesway Building and BAA, not me!tongue.gif

    I was looking for you yesterday morning, but I suspect having flown back in at 07:30 I was just that wee bit too early. I assume you must get quite a few folk coming up to you saying "are you Kilt fae P & B?"

    ohmy.gif You're havin' a laff if you expect me to be at work at stoopid o'clock! Monday to Friday, 9-5, that's me.wink.gif

    Thanks for looking out though. I trust my colleagues on the desks were courteous and professional. Tell me if they weren't.....biggrin.gif

    Kilt, look for a group of guys in Portugal tops. I'm the one with "CLEMINHO" "CUNTO" and the number 69 on the back. biggrin.giflaugh.gif

    Oh...............dear..................gods..................sad.gif

    Fixed it for you, BTW...biggrin.gif

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    Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

    in The General Nonsense Forum

    Posted

    They've no fucking changed it again have they? Every time I fly back it seems to be different.

    They now have two channels for authorised vehicles - one for taxi's and one for buses, delivery vans etc. Only one channel wasn't working this morning so all the taxi's were queue jumping the bus lane. Hence a 10 minute wait to get through to the bus drop off, which was longer than it took the bus to get to the airport from Paisley!mad.gif

    There is another split to divert private vehicles into Car Park 2 at the front of the terminal or round by the Holiday Inn. It's organised chaos!dry.gif

    Where at Glasgow Airport do you work again Kilt? Might give you a cheeky wave if you're lucky. tongue.gif

    !st floor international pier and the arrivals hall. I'll only see you're coming back, unless you let me know which outbound flight you're going on and I can say hello in the departures lounge.*

    *NB if you are part of a boorish lads/stag do party, you will not see me for dust!tongue.gif

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