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Showing content with the highest reputation since 10/04/19 in all areas

  1. 132 points
    Thought we could have a thread to catalogue all the moments of diddiness, scummery and outright bigotry from the two cheeks of the Old Filth. One game in to the season and a cracker from each of them so far. This absolute shambles from the morons at Parkhead Then today, The Rangers fans caved in the roof of the disabled section onto the heads of those below, leaving a couple of dozen fans in wheelchairs needing to be evacuated. I'm sure over the course of the season, fans of every club will have many reasons to bump this thread. Scum and morons the lot of them.
  2. 128 points
    Kilt and Swampy, VT and Rab B Deefiant stole the cash, H_B, Supras. Grimbo's pets got fried, Hibs won the cup and Rangers died, Another alias for Magee, phoney Tony, Fat Daz P. Sex prams for the maimed, Weeper Dee's dad got brained Chigsy said goodbye, Slippery P needs an alibi Skidmarks hassled at his work, Peterhead for Alexandra Burke Munster shagged a humpback lady, Waffen Thin Mint was kinda crazy. Wisbit, John McVeigh is a tit 8 mile flinging shit, Bennett in his bedsit Div said sorry to mumsnet, Lambie's pidgeon lost his bet, Caught up in a dotting war, I can't take it anymore We didn't start the fire...
  3. 102 points
    You know what just f**k off. You can run to your mate Div to try and get the ban overturned. Tit.
  4. 94 points
  5. 93 points
    Dude, the Colt teams (we call them Young Ajax/PSV/and so on) have ruined our lower leagues and anyone from the SFA trying to butter fans up to their inclusion is lying through their teeth as to the reasons for their inclusion; these officials can and should be considered snake oil merchants as far as I'm concerned. We had Young Ajax win our Championship in 2017/2018, partly because their side was stacked with first team members who needed some game time and a fair few players like Carel Eiting and Noussair Mazraoui who will be playing Spurs tomorrow. All Young/Colt teams play in front of empty stands, bring zero away fans, and cause a dip in attendances whenever they visit a real club because, frankly, no one can get excited about playing them. The Scottish pyramid has enough problems on its own without Colts running around shitting up the place.
  6. 81 points
    I know they're hurting but still find posts like that remarkable. They lost - not because Killie scored more goals than them and their overpaid wasters - but because of Catholics. Catholics that they "allowed to run the game". Just imagine living with that kind of mindset. Being so unable to deal with losing or that fact that you just can't beat your rivals when it counts that you blame your problems on a religious conspiracy. Not to mention the subtext that the c***s should get to "allow" who runs Scottish football as if it's their right to have their people in charge. A thoroughly horrible, horrible shower of b*****ds. This is why it will never not be fucking brilliant when they get beat and implode so spectacularly. Hahahaha.
  7. 80 points
    At least nobody would be there to watch us turn you over for a fourth time this season.
  8. 77 points
  9. 77 points
    4 days into Tory Britain and Killie are already turning on migrants ffs.
  10. 76 points
  11. 75 points
    Fucking delighted for the two rangers supporters' bus I saw leaving inverness this morning. The c***s will be almost there.
  12. 75 points
    This forum doesn't seem to be doing you any good. Time to go.
  13. 70 points
  14. 69 points
  15. 69 points
    With Rangers now firmly established in 2nd place behind the Tories when it comes to the treatment of disabled members of our society, it's fitting that their next opponent is the the People's Republic of Leith. A sworn enemy of 'the peepul' who have delivered onto them some of their most grevious defeats. Let battle commence.
  16. 68 points
    Buying them with the money from a hedge fund?
  17. 67 points
    No cancer in my blood. Looks like the stem cell transplant has put me into remission! Let's hope it doesn't come back for years and by that time they find a cure. 🤗
  18. 66 points
    ... Come on here for a quick browse NewBornBairn's been killing cows, Ad-Lib he's been doing the Dale Whilst Chigsy's going to the jail Tony's a nickname says 8 mile Philpy's friend the paedophile Kicking the guts out a dead badger My mum's too old, I widnae shag her. VT's office by a boat Invergowrie's monkey note Seamus the binman in a rage Hearts Daft's mental £9 wage Drinking puddles whilst in town TV for sale, can't turn it down Bully Wee emotions raw Come down to Ruel Street, bring yer maw. Grimbo started the fire...
  19. 65 points
    Last night, I blocked my toilet. Normally a few flushes and it goes. Not this fucker. A full foot in length with a girth which nearly tore me in half. It took half a bog roll to clean it up too. The bowl remained stubbornly half full. I made a simple request of the rest of the family. Please shit in the toilet upstairs until this monstrosity has been condemned to the watery grave it deserves. A simple request. Unheeded, 3 (yes THREE) other people decided to take a dump ON TOP of mine. Then....and I can hardly bring myself to type the words..... Someone flushed. What happened next needed to be experienced to be believed. One of the family (nobody is admitting it) tried to break it up with the brush (not a toothbrush obviously - that would be fucking stupid). Clearly whoever it was forgot the water was now brimming round the surface. Apparently they stirred it like it was a pot of soup - perhaps a hearty winter broth. That caused some....overflow. Fortunately, we have linoleum so the damage was minor. Although some dried brown streaks evidenced under the sink that the person made an attempt to wipe up but they used a ton of toilet paper and then they threw the massive soggy, shitty ball of toilet paper into the already full toilet and it landed where it remained, on the top of the devastation. Those who are familiar with the works of Archimedes will know that this ball of heavy, soaking toilet paper displaced it's own weight of shitty water right back out onto the floor again - not quite a tsunami but considerably more of it came out than before. Clearly defeated, they turned out the light and went to bed but not before hauling the toilet brush out of the bowl from whence it had been mostly submerged in the murky waters and replaced it in the holder covered in several chunks of meaty goodness leaving a wet brown trail behind it. Sadly the poo pixies didn't turn up during the night to clean up. At 3 am I wandered in for my early morning toilette. Now I have a tendency to pee in the dark but because my house is full of women, I sit down on the pan out of respect. The first sign of some trouble was wet feet (not a problem usually as sometimes the floor gets wet from handwashing) but then in horror I realised the seat had been left up and I plonked straight onto the bare bowl and my ageing cock and balls suddenly plunged into cold wetness. For a moment I was too stunned to move. And then something solid made contact with my exposed dangling organs and I leapt a good two feet in the air and screamed. To cut a long story short, I switched on the light and saw a scene of total carnage. Sacrificing a hand towel to cover my dignity I had a quick shower (my organs were tender from the scraping when I had finished) and a bowl of well earned porridge whilst I considered what to do. I considered calling a plumber and then remembered I am a man. I did what any man would do under the circumstances. I tried to wake my wife. She wasn't having it though so I got out the marigolds, a bin liner and dived right in. At first the going was easy. I was scooping out solid matter like a digger in a ditch and my bin liner was filling up nicely. Then disaster struck. To get to the real blockage I had to go around the U-bend slightly. My confidence high, I went for it at full pelt. And forgot that my gloves weren't long enough . As I reached the blockage, my marigolds went completely under the water and everything poured in to my now unprotected hand. At this point I am close to tears. The smell was indescribable. I won't lie. I panicked. I hauled my hand out of the bowl fast and there was some spillage and spattering. Fortunately my mouth was almost closed so it could have been worse. The wall is easily cleaned I suppose. Now I am close to vomiting but I have in my hand the final sludgey mass which was blocking the pipe and to my enormous relief, the water disappeared. A second shower and 45 minutes of tooth brushing and I was spic and span again. I won't lie. It wasn't an experience I am keen to re-live any time soon. Someone in my family is getting a sore bottom today for this. I dare any of you to tell me you've experienced worse today. It's not even 6.30am Oh and the fucking bin outside was full so I have a bag of shite sitting in my garage until Thursday when the bins get emptied.
  20. 63 points
    Sadly, I feel that this weekend's unsavoury shenanigans are just a warm up act. With Celtic going for 9 and possibly 10 in a row, the stakes have never been higher. Unfortunately, there is no low point for these two. Of course, the apologists are already out here with their 'oFFeNdEd sNoWFlaKeS' chat. The truth is none of us are offended by your bigoted behaviour, we just think you're a bunch of cretins.
  21. 61 points
    Was just coming on to do exactly that. For years Hibs were the *** skelping swag daddies, causing cranial detachments from the bigots for a huge portion of the Banter Years, but the second they started stumbling, the bold Killie picked up the batton and have just fucking ran with it, to utterly hilarious effect. Thank you for your service. A great bunch of lads.
  22. 61 points
  23. 58 points
  24. 58 points
  25. 58 points
    Dont care if I get banned for saying this, but if you vote Tory tomorrow you are a fucking c**t and I hope by some absolute fluke of coincidence that you personally are hardest hit by their austerity policies and lose your job when brexit impacts result in a widescale economic slowdown. f**k the tory vermin scum. A vote for the tories is a vote to kick every vulnerable person in this country in the face.
  26. 58 points
    Reading this genuinely made me happier than the birth of my daughter. I am literally standing punching the air and cheering in my living room.
  27. 58 points
  28. 57 points
    I think the best ever post I read on here was when someone said they’d shat themselves on a train but it was fine because they had a spare pair of jeans in their bag. Got to the toilet, threw their shitty boxers and jeans out of the window only to open the bag and reveal a denim jacket.
  29. 57 points
    Hiya Craig. Hiya pal. You'll let me know how that trip to Belgrade goes, won't you?
  30. 56 points
    I'm in a similar position though hoping I've got a good few years to go, there's no cure. Been told that my next chemo will be discussed with my Oncologist to decide the balance of benefit versus the risk of catching the virus by turning up for my treatment, but basically it's up to me. It's not about resources. Unless it's Armadeddon out there I'm going to finish my chemo and hit my bucket list, feeling perfectly fit so I want to get the treatment out of the way ASAP.
  31. 56 points
    Everybody's releasing club statements and we were beginning to feel a bit left out... "The division between junior and senior football in Scotland has always been an artificial one which is rooted far back in history. Maryhill FC – it’s worth noting we’ve NEVER actually been called Maryhill Juniors – were formed in 1884 and spent our first decade or so as a senior eam. There were no leagues back then, and as protectionism set in with the bigger sides more and more only wanting to play each other leaving the smaller teams out in the cold, the two groups coalesced into senior and junior grades. As this process happened, those in charge of Maryhill FC at the time had a decision to make, and as one of the smaller Glasgow clubs opted to join the ranks of the juniors. And so it remained through thick and thin for more than a century with the glass ceiling firmly in effect between the league and non-league systems operating side by side with virtually no congruence between the two. Finally several years ago the pyramid system was introduced which allowed for non-league teams to progress into the Scottish league structure proper and conversely for league teams to go the other way. For the last few seasons the pre-existing East of Scotland League has been absorbing a large proportion of the East Region junior teams, but for junior teams in the West Region there was no pre-existing league structure to join. Until now that is, as it is now expected that a senior West of Scotland League at Tier 6 of the Scottish League system will be in place for next season. The talks to incorporate the West Region en bloc into the pyramid now appear to have reached an impasse, and after several years of assurances that a solution was imminent, we as a club share the sense of frustration felt by many others at the lack of progress thus far. We are proud members of the SJFA – we’ve walked too many miles down the road along with them for it to be otherwise – but for the first time in a long time there is a fork in the road ahead of us. It would be remiss of those currently in charge of Maryhill FC if we failed to have a look to see what lies down the alternative path which may soon open up and to investigate all available opportunities for our club. We are merely the current torchbearers for the flame the late Victorians who formed the club ignited, but it appears that in common with them we may soon have a decision to make. As always, it will be the one that we feel is in the best interests of the future of Maryhill FC."
  32. 55 points
    A very big welcome to Hibernian Football Club to our very own Don Draper. Jack Boss: Jack Cross: Jack Really Cross: Jack Really, Really Cross Jack Papal Cross: Jack kens the Hearts are Dross: Jack when Neil McCann becomes their boss: Jack wearing the physio's Lip Gloss: Jack don't give a Toss: Jack loves Salt n Sauce: Jack contemplating a Loss: Jack drinking Voss: Jack spotting an Albatross:
  33. 55 points
    What a buzz, lads! We're over the moon. The last 13 weeks have been some laugh and I can't believe we're getting the chance to do it again next season. Until then, please watch the show tomorrow night - I've got a feeling it's going to be a cracker!
  34. 55 points
    ...Albert Kidd Day on this fine May morning. Though I think the spirit of the day has been lost somewhat in the commercialisation of the holiday, we should still take some time out of our day to remember its true meaning. The 3rd of May 1986 could've been a day cemented in Hearts, and indeed Scottish football, folklore forever. Instead, it's cemented in my wankbank. Here are a few of my favourite photos from the glorious afternoon in question. You might be wondering where current Hearts manager and perennial trophy virgin Craig Levein is in that last photo. He isn't in it, but don't worry, I've found one of him in the archives. Unquestionably the greatest day in Hibs' proud 144 year history. God bless Albert Kidd, Dundee Football Club, Glasgow Celtic Football Club, the nation of Australia and the Footballing Gods for that simply GLORIOUS afternoon. We will always remember, you will never forget. Off to open presents with the kids now.
  35. 55 points
    Kit Harrington confirmed on Graham Norton that it was filmed over 55 straight night shoots which is some record seemingly. A great big army of dead zombies going for 55..... sounds familiar tbh.....
  36. 54 points
    The Helen Lovejoy-ing on this thread is quite fucking mental. Two weeks ago, I'm sure the majority of us posters on here would probably have described him as everything from a complete c**t to a sociopath. Him being ill doesn't suddenly revert him to being a harmless buffoon. I've spent years working with people on the absolute bones of their arses thanks to the Conservative Party's war of austerity on the poor. He's a well documented racist, thug, and a chancer. Someone posted earlier "What if it was Tommy Robinson?". Well besides having my fingers firmly crossed that does actually happen, Johnson is basically a version of TR that went to a posh school. I can only hope he vigorously shook hands with IDS at some point recently. It's not as if folk are actually going to wildly celebrate if he snuffs it, the vast majority of us just won't give a single, solitary f**k.
  37. 54 points
  38. 53 points
    Ive only read the first page but thought I would add my tuppenceworth. I was a season ticket holder for 7 years at Parkhead. I’ve drank in near enough every ‘Celtic’ pub in Glasgow and seen both ends of the spectrum when it comes to the fans. From my experience there is respectable fans who want nothing to do with singing the rebels or going to the game to make some political point (there’s more than you think). These are the minority at the games, especially away games. Most of the fans I know that fall into this bracket don’t go to any Celtic games at all. These fans usually lead quite fulfilling lives and Celtic aren’t the first thing on their mind when they wake up. Some Celtic fans will try and tell themselves different, but it’s the absolute dregs of society that associate themselves to it, genuine poverty cases. There isn’t many lecturers, lawyers or architects standing amongst them. I got bored of it all, I go to football to watch the team on the park win and when I walk out the stadium it won’t affect my life win, lose or draw. I used to sit near a guy who had a season ticket with his two young daughters (both under 10) and I witnessed him punching the wall on the way down the stairs after a draw against Motherwell I think it was. A big part in me chucking my season ticket was asking myself, would I like to bring my child to a game here, surrounded by some proper mutants who don’t have a button in their pocket. I hated these Celtic fans thinking we had some sort of special bond with each other just down to the fact we both supported the same team. I have no loyalty or affinity to a fellow Celtic fan just because he happened to support the same club, it’s quite strange Two seasons ago, my St. Mirren supporting friend from Uni talked me into going to a few games and it’s a far more enjoyable experience. I’m not a die hard by any stretch of the imagination but I try and go along to most home games. It’s good to sit amongst a support that are only there for the team, and not there to make some political standpoint or seeing what songs they can get away with singing.
  39. 53 points
    I've said this before on here, but it's no surprise that the folk I know, were in school with, worked with, who were fucking idiots and not very bright. all support Celtic or Rangers. The sound folk I know, who actually seem fairly normal and intelligent, support ICT, County, Aberdeen, know a Killie fan from up here too and he's a good lad. It's an exact science IMO, the thicker you are, the size of fucking scummy arsehole roaster you are, the more likely you are to cling onto something to make you feel better about yourself. A football team that wins 9 games out of 10 for example.
  40. 53 points
  41. 51 points
    This is one of the most terminally stupid posts I've ever read on here. I have no real issue with two folk sitting in the car together to go to their nearest shop as long as only one is going in for the shopping. It's not what I'd do, but I can understand the logic. I don't have an issue with two people going out a walk together - in fact we have done this a couple of times - it's probably good for you in terms of keeping things as "normal" as possible, although my wife has been getting annoyed about just how much of a wide berth I have given people. However, choosing, in spite of all the evidence, to actually go in to the shops together is the height of selfishness. You are immediately making it harder for everyone else in that shop to keep their distance, and if you're the type of people that do that you're probably also the type who walk two abreast down the aisles or stand about with your trolley blocking the aisle having a discussion without even thinking about other customers. Everyone there will think you are a pair of complete arseholes. When you're standing pondering your fucking cupcakes and blocking up the aisle, you are giving a fellow customer a moral quandary about whether to stand and wait for you or squeeze past and risk catching the disease off two people who are much more likely than average to have it because they're acting like fucking selfish imbeciles all the time. Even a couple of weeks ago before these new regulations properly ramped up, when my wife and I went out an (essential) walk to drop food off for a vulnerable person and popped into the supermarkets on the way, one of us stood out in the car park and the other one went in. Somehow we managed to still get enough food to last us a week without facing any of those existential dilemmas you have posed about fucking red wine. I might have let it slide if you hadn't then twice lowered the tone of the debate even further by comparing people who disagreed with you to Nazis. That singles you out as not just a wee bit selfish, but instead as a horrible fucking arsehole (or as you'd probably type it a "horrible fcuknig aresohle").
  42. 51 points
    Once again the debate on independence is being hijacked and turned into some sort of Scotland v England grudge match but in reality it's nothing like that and indeed far more simple and easy to understand. Increasingly the values, needs and views of the Scottish people are becoming further and further detached from their English counterpart, Brexit was a good indication of this in itself and under the current Government we will increasingly see Scotland being treated as a distraction which should be seen and not heard. The latest proposed move by BJ and his Government to remove the climate change conference from Glasgow and send it South to London is just another example of the complete and utter contempt in which they hold for Scotland. HS2 will do nothing for Scotland, Heathrow will do nothing for Scotland, further Crossrail projects and add ons will do nothing for Scotland and as the Tories don't require our votes to retain power then we can expect absolutely nothing from them. Independence is NOT about wearing your kilt and Glengarry and shouting out "1314 ya bass", it's about governing our own country and shaping policy in a way which best suits our citizens from both an Economic and Cultural perspective, it's about playing to your strengths as opposed to being a region of an inward looking country which doesn't recognise your voice. Nobody's saying it will have instant success as re-joining with Europe will come with caveats and require sacrifices, however that will be OUR choice to make. As for the SNP, it won't be a dictatorship, so if people aren't happy with the Governing party there will still be elections and the opportunity to vote in our own Labour, Conservative, Lib Dem, Green or whoever party, but instead of having their strings pulled from London, they will be able to actually run our own country from right here in Edinburgh. Honestly, what are people afraid of ? Why would any country not want self determination and a right to Govern themselves and make their own decisions ?? I'll never understand those who don't I'm afraid.................
  43. 51 points
    A massive congratulations to the Hibs fans for yet again winning the coveted best Hibs fan award.
  44. 51 points
    For anyone interested, my boy was born this morning at 5:21. Anything short of all three points today is a disgrace and McPake needs sacked. I'm away to bed. Goodnight.
  45. 51 points
    You were the Steeple. #Getdoon
  46. 50 points
  47. 50 points
  48. 50 points
    Good Afternoon fellow Championship dwellers. With GTF Day fast approaching, it is with regret that we must say goodbye to our friends from Grangemouth as they set off for pastures seasides new in Ladbrokes League One. Please feel free to sign Falkirk FC's leaving card and give them the send-off that they deserve. It has been some ride and I'm sure you will join me in wishing them the best of luck in their future endeavours.
  49. 49 points
    All morning I killed cows
  50. 49 points
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