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  1. 159 points
  2. 80 points
    AGEING, UNEMPLOYED IMMIGRANT CAUSES HIGHWAY CARNAGE. Emergency services were scrambled to a road traffic accident near Sandringham today when a 97 year old Greek immigrant pulled out into oncoming traffic. The Greek father of four who has been living on state benefits since his arrival in the UK in 1947 and is housed in a Grade2 Jacobean style mansion in the area worth millions of pounds was unavailable for comment. Neighbours said "You often see the family in the area, none of them seem to work but they always have money". Another local resident reported often hearing firearms being discharged in the garden of 97 year olds home.
  3. 75 points
    Not unique to football but I've heard liquidation means something different in football to other businesses.
  4. 70 points
  5. 68 points
    Hopefully this doesn't come across as a load of self indulgent tosh. It's genuinely not meant to be, so I'll keep it brief rather than wallowing through all the details. A year ago tomorrow, I was diagnosed with cancer. About 4 weeks before that I knew something wasn't right. I toyed with the idea of not going to the doctors, because "it might be nothing" and I "didn't want to bother them". I've stuck those two statements in inverted commas because I know from experience that those are two of the main reasons for putting off going to the doctors. I eventually went because "it might be nothing" could also "be something". And I'm glad I did. In the space of 4 weeks, I had an ultrasound, CT scan, surgery, MRI scan and started chemotherapy. Several chemo sessions, about a million injections and a blood transfusion later, I'm now in remission (though I call it the all clear) and so many doctors have said that catching these things early is so important in fighting it. So, the point of all this shite is - if you suspect something is wrong, or if you think you should be checked over. DO IT. Don't wait until next week. Don't wait to see if whatever it is goes - it might not. It's scary as f**k when you suspect something is wrong, but ignoring it won't make it go away. Get it checked. I promise you'll feel better when you do. Right, that's me said my piece - let the verbal pounding commence.
  6. 67 points
  7. 67 points
  8. 64 points
  9. 61 points
    And finally comes acceptance [emoji38]
  10. 58 points
    Can just see it.. BT: We're very interested in your league, and want to put it on the telly for money ND: Yes it's great now rangers are back BT: Well yeah, but we like to take an interest in the whole league and talk about every club ND: Rangers and Celtic you mean BT: No, all 12 top league teams ND: 12? BT: And we'd even like to consider the championship with some of the bigger teams down there ND: But rangers are back in the premiership BT: We know that but are interested in Scottish football as a whole ND: Yeah its much better now rangers are back
  11. 58 points
    I went to a mates 21st in town a few Fridays ago. Much merriment was had in the halls before we all toddled off to Strathy Union. Once in, I'm queuing at the bar and some student buys a tray of shots and turns around to give them out to his friends. I, being slightly drunk and a bit of a dick, decide to take one. He questions my actions and I drunkenly respond "I have a job, my tax paid for this " Whether he saw my point or not, he shrugged, me and his mates clinked glasses and a shot was consumed. Back to the queue. Next person orders some tequilas, so I leer over "Get us one mate," "err...why?" "because my tax pays for you to come here." Again he thinks about it, agrees and sends a shot my way. I may have been drunk but I start to see a pattern emerging and take to hanging around the bar harrassing anyone I can grab the attention of, badgering them for drinks and generally being a prize cockend. Unfortunately for me as more and more free shots are consumed the more and more forceful my badgering becomes, and eventually someone takes offense and dobs me in to security, who promptly find me and escort me from the premises. No problem, I thought. I'll phone my mate and get him to come out and rescue me... only my phone's not there, I'd left on my mates desk when I got changed. I'm now stranded, I have no clue where the halls are. I then figure the best bet is to ask passers by if they know my friend and try and get his number. So I set about slurring his name to anyone unfortunate enough to pass me. Eventually I speak to this girl who says she doesn't know him however I am welcome to come back with her and facebook him. I don't have a facebook or even know how to work it, but she says she'll do it for me so off I toddle with her and her mates; two guys, two girls. It takes a good 20 minutes walk to get back and we're all talking, turns out one of the guys was a Thistle fan and one of the girls was as much a South Park freak as me, so we're all having a good laugh. Finally we get there and fire off a facebook message, to which my mates responds to pretty much straight away (thank f**k for Blackberrys) with his block and flat number. So she writes it down for me, I put it in my wallet and was about to set off when one of the guys asks if I would like to accompany them for pizza, beer and Fifa. Well I'm not refusing that, am I? Eventually the ladies retire to bed and we get out some vodka and we have some shots of that. However the extra beer and vodka now sees me uber-fucked. So I ask if I can sleep in their kitchen. Them also being fairly well cut, too cut to understand the ramifications of letting a stranger stay in their kitchen, agreed. My night was saved. Next thing I know, I had just woken up. It was light outside and I had a massive headache but something was wrong. I'd gone to sleep with my breeks on, and now they were off, as were my boxers. I sit up in an attempt to find my boxers and see them in a neat pile on the floor, next to a tea towel caked in shit. "Nmmmm," I think. "I really should get rid of that" I get up and go to grab something to pick it up with, when I notice that there's several dried shit marks running down my leg. No worries, thinks I, and head to the sink to wash it off. After succesfully washing my legs I turn around to see a shit covered wire cage with it's roof slightly bent. I stumble over it and find the contents of the cage are also plastered with shit. Theres shit covered straw, a shit covered feeding bowl and one shit covered rabbit nonchalently munching a shit covered carrot Needless to say I quickly put on my pants and ran out of there as fast as I could. I still expect one of them to remember my mates address and exact their revenge by coming round and shitting all over his beloved family pet, but they haven't as yet. I bet they won't be having any more strangers to stay though
  12. 57 points
    Nobody goes for the quality. You go week in week out because once every wee while you'll get games which are beyond belief. See example A: Pretty much every club in the league has a day in the sun moment. One you'll talk about to people time and time again. Fans of English clubs and the Old Firm don't really get it. Within the past 11 years I've seen Rovers win the league at Hampden, seen them in a Scottish Cup Semi Final after knocking out Aberdeen and Dundee, beat Hibs in the Scottish Cup and Rangers in the diddy cup final at Easter Road too. I've also seen us relegated by Brechin and hit the post in the 90th minute to not win a league. I wouldn't trade a single moment of those highs for any double treble. I fucking love it.
  13. 55 points
    Watched the highlights on RTV and a bit of the full match replay. To be honest 11v11 I think we beat them, but the sending off so early in the game puts us on the defensive straight away. I've seen a few replays of the sending off and there is one that seems to show that Jack motioned towards the Hibs player with his head, so it looks like there's no arguments about his red. Stokes and McGeough should also have seen reds during the game. The most embarrassing thing about the whole thing is the reaction to Lennon and the statements from the mouth breathers from Club 1872. I think we've established that we don't like Neil Lennon and he doesn't like us. But grown men, who have no doubt been giving him all sorts of shite from the kick off, to suddenly get on their high horse because he's turned round and given it a bit of the "get it right up you" back when they've equalised is utterly cringeworthy. If you're getting that upset about something like that, then you really have to take a long hard look at yourself. As for the statement. Club 1872 don't speak for me. They don't speak for a majority of Rangers fans, but they put out these statements as if they're speaking for all of us. f**k off. No one likes us We care about it very much.
  14. 55 points
    How dare Jim Traynor accuse those fans who want to see Rangers taken down a peg are two of dispaying "mock outrage"? I don't support an SPL team and even I feel outraged. Obviously, apart from beating us a couple of times in Cup matches, they have never done us any direct harm. Indeed, we gained from the home games being televised. BUT this has nothing to do with what they have done to my team. It has to do with what they have done to my sport. Football is and always has been my favourite sport, and I have felt pride (when Scotland beat France home and away, when my lowly team have beaten the likes of St Mirren or Motherwell in cup ties), disbelief (Levein's tactics against the Czech Republic, some of Dick Campbell's signings), sadness (Forfar being relegated, Scotland's inability to get through group stages or latterly even to qualify) but I have never felt the level of "outrage" that I feel now towards certain people within the sport. I'm angry with Rangers for bringing the game into disrepute - for their arrogance, lack of humility and dignity, for their inability to accept the reason why supporters of clubs across the country hate them. They (and to a slightly lesser extent) Celtic have slowly bled the game of any semblance of competitiveness, fair play and equality of opportunity over the last 30 years. Rangers have operated outwith their means to "cheat" the rest of Scottish football out of ever having a chance of competing with them on an even playing field. I am not talking about my club here by the way. Despite the achievements of my team in the 80s, we are never likely to grace the SPL unless it is extended to 18 teams, and even then we'd occasionally flit around the bottom for a season or two before being relegated. I am talking about clubs like Dundee, Airdrie, Partick, Falkirk etc who have been forced to bankrupt themselves by playing by the rules while Rangers signed players on dual contracts or "stole" the cream of Hearts, Hibs, Aberdeen etc and left them sitting around on the bench, destroying the career of some players and certainly harming my beloved Scotland team as promising players didn't get the opportunity to develop their game. I am angry with gloryhunting Rangers fans - not those born or brought up in Ibrox like my brother in law or my best friend (I feel sorry for them). But the ignornat bigots who post on RM, the WATP brigade, the great unwashed who use their affiliation to a football team as a "justifiable" reason for looking down on the rest of us. I am angry with the game's administartors for not getting their finger out and doing something about it. The SFA showed some teeth with their sanctions; it is now time for the SPL and the SFL to do the same and refuse Rangers entry to either of their leagues. In an ideal world, the SPL would fold and come back under the auspices of the SFL, but... I am angry with the so-called journalists who have kept Rangers fans spirits up with stories of signing Black, Gatusso, Petrov while the club are not even in a postion to outbid us for a third-rate SPL player. I am angry that so-called reporters have actually become repeaters, only printing stuff that has been fed to them by Old Firm PR people. Traynor's job is to find out the truth and expose it to the nation, not just feed from the scraps sent to him by Ibrox and Celtic Park. The same goes for Keevins, Young, Guidi, etc. The only radio reporter I trust is Jim Spence. I am angry with Green for further bringing the game into disrepute, for trying to blame everyone else because he was incapable of doing any homework or research on the plight of Rangers or on HMRC's likelihood of accepting a CVA. His incoherent, ill-informed rants are cringeworthy, and I can't believe that any businessman worth his salt would believe a word that anyone from Duff and Phelps has told him. As I said, I don't even support an SPL club. I can't imagine the outrage some of you are feeling, but I'm sure none of it falls under the heading of "MOCK outrage".
  15. 53 points
    Ive only read the first page but thought I would add my tuppenceworth. I was a season ticket holder for 7 years at Parkhead. I’ve drank in near enough every ‘Celtic’ pub in Glasgow and seen both ends of the spectrum when it comes to the fans. From my experience there is respectable fans who want nothing to do with singing the rebels or going to the game to make some political point (there’s more than you think). These are the minority at the games, especially away games. Most of the fans I know that fall into this bracket don’t go to any Celtic games at all. These fans usually lead quite fulfilling lives and Celtic aren’t the first thing on their mind when they wake up. Some Celtic fans will try and tell themselves different, but it’s the absolute dregs of society that associate themselves to it, genuine poverty cases. There isn’t many lecturers, lawyers or architects standing amongst them. I got bored of it all, I go to football to watch the team on the park win and when I walk out the stadium it won’t affect my life win, lose or draw. I used to sit near a guy who had a season ticket with his two young daughters (both under 10) and I witnessed him punching the wall on the way down the stairs after a draw against Motherwell I think it was. A big part in me chucking my season ticket was asking myself, would I like to bring my child to a game here, surrounded by some proper mutants who don’t have a button in their pocket. I hated these Celtic fans thinking we had some sort of special bond with each other just down to the fact we both supported the same team. I have no loyalty or affinity to a fellow Celtic fan just because he happened to support the same club, it’s quite strange Two seasons ago, my St. Mirren supporting friend from Uni talked me into going to a few games and it’s a far more enjoyable experience. I’m not a die hard by any stretch of the imagination but I try and go along to most home games. It’s good to sit amongst a support that are only there for the team, and not there to make some political standpoint or seeing what songs they can get away with singing.
  16. 53 points
    I've said this before on here, but it's no surprise that the folk I know, were in school with, worked with, who were fucking idiots and not very bright. all support Celtic or Rangers. The sound folk I know, who actually seem fairly normal and intelligent, support ICT, County, Aberdeen, know a Killie fan from up here too and he's a good lad. It's an exact science IMO, the thicker you are, the size of fucking scummy arsehole roaster you are, the more likely you are to cling onto something to make you feel better about yourself. A football team that wins 9 games out of 10 for example.
  17. 53 points
    Tucked away on the right-hand column of Page 71 of today's Sunday Mail is an article by Gordon Waddell that in my opinion should seriously alarm every Scottish football fan who believes in the fundamental principle of democracy in the professional game in this country. Basically, the long-trailed idea of (presumably) the bigger clubs, and especially Celtic and Rangers, being able to enter 'Colt' teams into the league structure is now coming much closer to reality via a formal proposal document which was circulated to all 42 senior clubs on Friday. I won't to go into much detail here, other than to add that it is understood that these 'Colt' clubs would initially enter the structure at Highland and Lowland League level and would be permitted to ascend only as far as League One. It is also believed that the costs involved would debar all but the two Glasgow clubs, although it is understood that Aberdeen and Hibs have also shown interest. I'll leave it there other than to add two things; if this idea comes into practice then my 57-year attachment to Scottish football in general and Dumbarton FC in particular will cease, and I will be contacting my club to actively encourage their opposition; secondly I would encourage others who feel strongly that the democratic principle of 'one club, one team' in Scottish league football must remain inviolate to also lobby their clubs on this issue.
  18. 53 points
    Had to be done, apologies in advance
  19. 51 points
    After 4 months of chemotherapy my consultant told me today that my cancer is under control and I can come off chemotherapy! Have the small matter of a stem cell transplant in April/May time which involves more chemo but for the time I am drug free!
  20. 50 points
    Was invited along by my best mate as his family had a spare hospitality ticket. Thought it would be a fairly meh game but f**k it, who cares when there's free booze and food on offer. Oh my, how wrong I was. For the first 90 minutes I thought the only amusement on offer was some stereotypically Sevco-eqsue bald, raging man hurling abuse at 'Tav' anytime he touched the ball, and then it all kicked off. There was a slightly muted and dejected reaction to the penalty miss (following unbelievable detached craniums over Jack's red card), but when Killie banged the equaliser home within 30 seconds of that my entire fist was just about engulfed by my mouth in an effort to keep myself from pissing myself laughing. So much so was the seethe from the top tier of the main stand that a couple of boys got chucked out, which then resulted in stewards receiving a tirade of abuse right up until full time. Hats off to the Killie boys, the scenes in that away end were stunning. On top of all that, after leaving the main entrance of the main stand there were three mutants all purple with rage screaming 'We'll never win anything with that c**t in charge, get it sorted' amongst other pleasantries at two boys stood behind the gate. I was quite interested to see just who these important men were that made decisions on managerial changes. Turns out they were just a couple of bewildered security guys. Thank you Kilmarnock, top night. P.S. the pies were average.
  21. 50 points
    So tonight after about five months on Tinder I had my first real disaster and what a disaster it was. With uni season being back on and living in the west end of Glasgow there's suddenly a lot of new women in town. So obviously I've got stuck in and last week met a girl from Thailand doing her masters. Now, obviously everyone makes the ladyboy jokes when you're meeting a Thai girl but you just laugh them off. However while on this date I did notice she had big hands. I pointed this out to workmates and pals and everyone started filling my head with the idea I was going to be providing fellatio within the coming week. The girl in question invited me up to hers tonight and obviously I was willing to go see what happened. We watch a bit of tv and as you do start getting off with each other and from there head to the bedroom. First the top comes off and she has obvious fake boobs which should've been a big clue. However I quickly got her jeans off to reveal womenly parts. Looked normal and did the normal things. Huzzah! Or so I thought... After beginning the initial..ahem...entry and general sex movements I realised that her parts weren't quite as willing to accept my full dick as most vaginas are. At this point came the question "Errm don't take this the wrong way, but did you used to be a dude?". Confirmation was provided and mission was aborted. Told her wasn't particularly cool lying but not too worry and made my sharpish exit. Stay safe kids. Jaysus.
  22. 48 points
  23. 48 points
  24. 47 points
    I suspect for a whole variety of reasons John wouldn't have managed as well in the current, transfer window, football world. He was a fantastic wheeler and dealer in the transfer market. He would always go on about how we were "just two players" short. He'd then sign three and then still declare that he was "just two players short". He knew that bringing in new faces, even if they would be out the door in a week or two, would keep players on their toes. He was just about the first manager I can recall who used a psychologist (the master of malapropism John likely called them a physicist). A few days later we beat Rangers 3-0 at Firhill and John went nuts when the psychologist tried to claim credit for the result in the papers. They were swiftly shown the door. Of course John was a psychologist himself. From giving the players a glass of champagne each just before kick-off in a game against Rangers in our first season back in the Premier League to wringing a pigeon's neck in the dressing room and telling Declan Roche that he could do the same to him. Alan Archibald spoke at a Meet the Manager event last season and talked about how John was in many respects way ahead of his time. There was indeed method to his madness. Of course he had his flaws as a manager (which one doesn't?) and his eccentric approach would undoubtedly have put some, bigger, clubs off but he was a perfect fit for Partick Thistle. Four times he was our manager and it isn't that much of a stretch to imagine, had his health been better, that he could have been back for a fifth stint. As programme editor I 'worked' with John for many years. Trying to turn his colourful use of language into something readable was often a challenge and that's before you factor in the odd we expletive. I last spoke to John last season on an all too rare visit to Firhill. I was glad to spend just a few minutes just passing the time of day with him. He looked well, although we knew he wasn't in the best of health, and he was in top form. John Lambie will be thought of by most people as first and foremost a football man but a quick look at his Facebook page (John Lambie on Facebook, bloody hell) shows little other than a few family pictures. His love of his family shines through in those pictures for all to see though and it is his family that I think of most at this dreadfully sad time for them. Today is a sad day for Partick Thistle.
  25. 47 points
    Take you fucking Ukranian 'expert tips' and shove them up your fucking arse. I see from the other thread it was such a sure fire thing it was going to make its way onto your bank busting, mind boggling...wait for it...£2 coupon which you ended up not putting on cause you had no money in your account? Don't fucking come into this thread giving it billy big baws about an evens banker when it turns out you have no faith in it either. Most of your other tips were wrong as well. You are clearly are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, pretending to be, or rather dreaming of being, a fucking Ukranian? Really? Who does that shit? Disclaimer - yes it goes against logic to put on something you know nothing about and it was stupid and my fault but in my opinion this arsehole deserves the above. I genuinely wasn't that arsed about losing £500 last night but am fucking raging with this bellend for this. Naff off.
  26. 46 points
    You could genuinely make a case for the sheer idiocy of the average Rangers fan being one of the main causes for their current predicament. The club aren't living within their means because the fans simply won't accept that living within their means will result in them not winning a league title for a very, very long time. The only way they'll get close to Celtic is by spending money they don't have, and the fans are so obsessed with Celtic that any alternative isn't an option. Even if the board wanted to (and I'm not sure they do, because they seem like a bunch of clowns anyway), they wouldn't adopt a sensible transfer/wage structure because it would cause an uproar. Consequently, the board has to make "big name" signings to satisfy these idiots. Which then leads onto the fact that the board are making terrible use of the budget available, by appointing clueless managers and signing rubbish players. But the fans' demand for something that just isn't possible means that as soon as the season ticket money arrives, it'll be splurged on yet more dross, and this cycle of wasting money while still getting nowhere near a league title will continue. A completely unrealistic fanbase, and a wholly incompetent board, chaired by the biggest charlatan of them all. A glorious recipe for hilarious, embarrassing failure.
  27. 45 points
    Adult men, or anyone over the age of 12, who watches WWF wrestling.
  28. 45 points
    Get it right fucking up all the vile, bigoted, despicable, violent, *** scumbags. I hope you’re all hurting like f**k you utter, utter vermin.
  29. 44 points
    My wife tweeted me saying "3 girls in the office got Valentine's bouquets - they're absolutely gorgeous." I replied " That's probably why they got bouquets I've to get my own tea tonight.
  30. 43 points
    Lest We Forget: A K Ray, Ross Hall Hospital, Glasgow £150 ADI UK, Preston £7620 ASL, East Sussex £2514 Acies Group, Edinburgh £2340 Adrian Coll, Balloch £1600 Alan Duncan, Glasgow £1400 Alexander West Property, Glasgow £2807 Alison Walker TV, Bearsden £600 Alliance Video, Surrey £204 Aon Limited, London £14,151 Arena Imaging, Derby £336 Argyll and Bute Council £406.80 Astra Hygiene Supplies, Dumbarton £61.27 Audi Stirling £396.05 Azure Support Services, Macclesfield £523,949.71 Azzurri Scotland, Burnley £34.63 BTWShiells, Belfast £2917.39 Barr Environmental Limited, Cummnock £264 Base Soccer Agency, London £52,560 Bauer Radio Ltd (Radio Clyde) £702 Beyard Services, Beith £5559.60 Bhutta’s Newsagents, Glasgow £567.45 Big Think Agency, Glasgow £14,265.60 Blooms UK Limited, Glasgow £70 Brabners, Manchester £12,999 Brentwood Estates, Manchester £42,963.06 Brian Proudfoot, Glasgow £2,802 British Gas £1,562.42 BT £1,292.13 Business Cost Consultants, Glasgow £6,240.60 Business Stream, Edinburgh £9,727.22 CNP Professional, Cheshire £719.96 CRE8, Gloucester £68,406.70 Cairn Financial, London £4,127.60 Cairns & Scott Caterhire, Glasgow £762 Cameron Presentations, Glasgow £8,795.99 Campbell Medical Supplies, Paisley £3,386.73 Camtec, Herts £552 Canniesburn Taxis, Bearsden £269.69 Capital Solutions, Edinburgh £11,423.40 Capito Ltd, Livingston £1,049.69 Carberry’s Coaches, Portadown Co Armagh £1,200 Carnival Chaos Production, Edinburgh £672 Carol Govan, Glasgow £600 Cask Productions, Glasgow £1,980 Cask Sports, Glasgow £2,919.60 Catercare Scotland, Stewarton £420 Charlton Chauffeur Drive, Glasgow £792 Childcare Vouchers, London £1,143.74 Chilli It, Chester £416.52 Chris Clarke, Kilmarnock £150 Christine Siebelt, Milngavie £1,100 Citrus Office Solutions, Lancashire £4,304.24 City Electrical Factors, Glasgow £215.40 Clyde Productions, Glasgow £180 Coca Cola £10,133.91 Colin Suggett, Sunderland £741.80 Collstream Limited, Derby £5,779.37 Collyer Bristow, London £40,691.22 Colours Agency Glasgow £1,980 Computer Links, Livingston £2,146.32 Computershare Investor Service, Bristol, £23,855.03 Craig Services & Access East Sussex £900 Culture & Sport Glasgow £10,338.96 Daily Record & Sunday Mail £312 DealBureau Commercial Finance, Southend £10,000 Decco Limited, Glasgow £174.72 Dell Computer Corporation, Berkshire £272.85 Direct Medical Imaging, Lancashire £230 Disclosure Scotland £372 Dominique S Byrne, Nuffield Hospital, Glasgow £160 Dr David A S Marshall, Bridge of Weir £160 Dundas & Wilson, Edinburgh £24,027.84 E.ON £8,827.14 Eagle Consulting, Inverness £40 Eagle Couriers, Bathgate £96.60 Eden Springs, Blantyre £644.64 Edinburgh Audi £5,197.08 Electrical Was te Recycling, County Durham £18 Enterprise Rent-a-Car, Stirling £9,000 Events Audio Visual, Clydebank £300 Exchequer Corporate Finance , Surrey £4,000 Executive Hire, Harlow £1,060 FES FM, Stirling £80,874.93 FL Memo, London £116.86 FX Signs, Glasgow £15,546.56 G Media Mangement, Cheltenham £995 G4S, Surrey £295,036.24 GTG Training, Glasgow £396 Gareth Neil Design, Glasgow £3,200 Gerry McGeoch, Glasgow £150 Glasgow Audi £1,041.62 Glasgow City Council £5,000 Glasgow City Council (Council Tax) £2,008.21 Glasgow Leading Attractions (The Willow Tea Rooms) £1,525 Glasgow Taxis £TBC Glencairn Crystal Studio, East Kilbide £354 Gordon McKay, Blackridge £150 HOBS Reprographics, Glasgow £270.15 HSS Hire Service £67.10 Hamilton Brothers, Bishopton £115.56 Hay McKerron Associates, Milngavie £3,600 Hepscott Water Systems, Morpeth £1,190.28 Hrvoje Bojanic Beethoveova, Zagreb, Croatia £2,898.42 Hutchesons Eductational Trust, Glasgow £550 ILC Media, Preston £2,040 IMG Media, Chiswick £180 Impact Signs, Cumbernauld £9,482.79 Integrated Cleaning Management, Hampshire £3,329.19 Iris Chorus Application Software, Devon £5,973.60 Iris Ticketing, Devon £37,210.42 Iron Mountain, Livingston £1,271.16 JCM Business Consulting, Paisley £2,745 JJB Sports £19,390.59 James Gordon (Engineers), Galston £1,437.68 Jewson, Glasgow £930.60 Joe Lennon Picture Framing, Bearsden £840 John Deere, Gloucester £41,191.59 K7X, Ayr, £240 Kalamazoo Secure Solutions, Birmingham £4,017 Keith Hawley, Glasgow £2,600 Kevin Cameron Radio Service, Paisley £600 Kube Networks, Glasgow £7,672.08 L & S Litho, Glasgow £17,035.04 Lothian Power Clean, Larkhall £194.34 LSK Supplies, Glasgow £178.58 Lawrie Furnishings, Paisley £607.20 Limelight Networks , Arizona £2,333.49 Link Seating Limited, Worcestershire £606.98 Loomis UK, Nottingham £2,248.08 Louis Grace Electrical, Glasgow £1,087.84 Lyco Direct Limited, Milton Keynes £2,381.27 MSM Solicitors, Paisley £420 MacGregor Industrial Supplies, Inverness £106.76 Mackinnon Partners, Gourock £200 Manea Florin Bucharest £37,500 Mar Hall, Bishopton £5,511.90 Marsh Ltd UK, Norwich £779.10 Martin Dawes, Warrington £654.74 Media House, Glasgow £19,200 MediaCom, Edinburgh £11,544.42 Menzies Hotels, Derbyshire £257.40 Michael Douglas, Glasgow £100 Milngavie Mini Market £413.29 Modular Property Holdings, Glasgow £20,930.22 Motif Promotional Clothing, Glasgow £27.29 Murray Group Holdings, Edinburgh £278,964.30 Nairn Brown (Glasgow) £1,492.50 National Car Rental, Leicester £162.52 Navyblue Design Group, Edinburgh £6,960 Newline Products, Glasgow £7,001 Newsquest (Herald & Times £1,500 Nexo S.A., France £1,799.37 Nicola Young, Glasgow £3,500 Noble Grossart, Edinburgh £18,612 Nordic Scouting, Oslo £20,000 North Glasgow College £11,041.80 OHSS, Edinburgh £234 OfficeFurnitureOnline.co.uk, Dumfires £338.40 Ooyala, California £733.92 Opal Telecom £169.72 Orebro SK £150,000 Oxford Hotels & Inns (Carnoustie) £3,709.96 PR Newswire Europe £300 PTS - Plumbing Trade Supplies, Leicester £30.42 Paramed, Howwood £1,050 Parklands Country Club, Glasgow £500 Parks of Hamilton £7,256 Paton Plant, York £1,450.16 Perform Group, Middlesex £346,097.43 Pineapple Aroundshot, Co Durham £2,316.96 Pineapple Photographic, Co Durham £5,875 Ping Network Solutions, Glasgow £4,020.25 Plum Films, Edinburgh £3,000 Posh Deli, Glasgow £260 Postage by Phone, Essex £510.80 Premier Cash Registers, Glasgow £12,600 Prime Commercial Properties Management, London £10,805.53 Professional Pre-Season Tours (Libero), Glasgow £60,000 Quick Shift Tyre Service, Glasgow £48 R.F.Brown, Hamilton £1,681.44 RBS WorldPay, Cambridge £180.66 RS Components Limited, Northants £204.95 Rangers Lotteries Ltd, Glasgow £105.80 Reed Business Information, Surrey £2,764.80 Renfrewshire Council HQ £108 Restore Scotland, Paisley £579.74 Rigby Taylor Limited, Bolton £10,762.16 Rodgers Sercurity Systems, Glasgow £342.50 Ross Hall Hospital, Glasgow £770.50 Ross Promotional, Glasgow £1,022.88 Royal Mail £3,262.54 SDL Group, Glasgow £1,350 SG World, Cheshire £577.56 SIR Teknologi, West Sussex £TBC SK Rapid, Austria £1,011,763.44 STRI, West Yorkshire £17.28 Saffery Champness, Glasgow £31,028.01 Scot-West Business Forms, Glasgow £749.60 Scotprint, Haddington £7,514 Scotrae Productions, Greenock £17,058.94 Scottish Ambulance Service £8,438.40 Scottish Hydro Electric £62,527.30 Scottish Power £302.44 Search Promotional Merchandise, Buckinghamshire £6,240 Shanks Waste Management, Southampton £122.58 Sharon Agnew, Glasgow £460 Shawfield Timber, Glasgow, £786.24 Shell UK £7,637.94 Shields Land Rover, Glasgow £246.75 Shred-it Glasgow £444 Sign Plus, Dunfermline £2,473.22 Signature Industries, London £1,507.90 Simplewaste Solutions, Clydebank £17,626.26 Sinclair Pharmacy, Glasgow £1,909.79 Slater Menswear , Glasgow £688.31 Solutions.tv, Glasgow £2,652 Sound Acoustic Productions, Glasgow £12,000 Souters Irrigation Services, Cumbernauld £456 Spike Multiedia, Giffnock £5,312.50 Sporting iD, Tyne and Wear £144.70 Sportopps.com, Belfast £150 Sports Alliance, Bury £2,006.65 Sports Revolution, London £5,034.52 Stellar Football, London £72,000 Stirling Fire Protection £1,149.30 Stockline Plastics, Glasgow £258 Strathclyde Police £51,882 Striking Imagery, Cumbernauld £113.51 Stuart MacMorran, Clydebank £422.50 Summit Asset Management, Surrey £70,555.88 Susan Thomson Your Sonsie Face, Glasgow £40 TNT £1,255.39 Tabs FM, London, £1,980 Tellcomm Limited, West Midlands £6,435.89 The Arco Group, Hull £443.43 The Brite Bulb, Bishopbriggs £3,209.64 The Burnbrae, Bearsden £1,403.88 The Business & Property Bureau, Bearsden £7,376 The Business Incentives Group, Glasgow £1,893.60 The City of Edinburgh Council £90 The Fees Company, Edinburgh £118.16 The Financial Times £3,480 The Scottish Football League £3,859.92 The Premier Property Group, Edinburgh £103,210.96 Thistle International Freight, Paisley £128.42 Thistle Storage Equipment, Cumbernauld £140.40 Thomas Cook Sport, Manchester £129,216.56 Ticket Team, Netherlands £873.36 Ticketline Network, Manchester £11,668.67 Trade UK (Screwfix) £77.01 Trident Trust Company, Jersey £40,689.90 UK Fast, Manchester £689.78 US Citta di Palermo, Italy £205,513.04 Umbro £1,756.05 University of the West of Scotland £135 Vodafone £204 Voicescape, Manchester £786.84 William Henderson, Glasgow £275 Yuill & Kyle Solicitors, Glasgow £1,486.80
  31. 43 points
    Great lookalike. Here's Csaba Laszlo winning the Voice.
  32. 43 points
  33. 43 points
    It truly is no surprise that the only posters arguing against BT Sport are those who support Rangers. BT have been critical of Rangers, and correctly so. The club was promoted in the summer and spent all summer drumming up their fans with a marketing campaign based on challenging Celtic for the title (#goingfor55), while their management, players and board in various soundbites made it clear that second was not good enough. £30 million was meant to be spent. When that didn't materialise, Sutton, Stewart and Craigan have rightly pointed out these deficiencies. Let's be clear, BT Sport are so far ahead of Sky Sports in their coverage of Scottish football that it is embarrassing. The punditry is extensive, interesting and well researched on BT, while on Sky, it is non existent, outside of Neil McCann, who while a wee bit negative, is a good pundit. Derek Rae is a magnificent commentator - always well prepared, with interesting insights and statistics. Ian Crocker is rancid, does not appreciate the need to use silence to his advantage and generally has little flow to his commentaries. Has the odd great soundbite but that's all. Chris Sutton may be controversial and a bit of an arse at times, but he cares about the game, is well informed about every team and is opinionated - which every pundit should be. Andy Walker is bland by comparison and doesn't know much of the smaller teams in the league. BT offer an hour long build up to games, with in-depth interviews, punditry and analysis, Sky barely have 15 minutes to scrape together a build up. The fact that BT came forward with offers for the playoffs and the League Cup shows how much they want to be involved with Scottish football. Their playoff coverage over the last two seasons has been outstanding, and has led to them gaining the rights to a number of the most dramatic games in Scottish football over that period. The Motherwell v Rangers playoff, Falkirk v Hibs and Killie v Falkirk games will live long in the memory. Unlike the BBC, BT have the financial clout to back up their Sport operation, and it is time to say goodbye to Sky. They offer a third rate broadcast service to our game with poor coverage and frequent basic errors in reporting. The SPFL have already tied in with BT more extensively given the playoff and League Cup deals, and I suspect that this will continue with an exclusive deal for the League coverage in the next round of talks. If the Scottish FA had sense, they would also offer BT the chunk of rights Sky have for the Scottish Cup also. On a small side note, I had the pleasure of bumping into Michael Stewart and Chris Sutton at Broxden services as me and my friends were on the way to Hamilton in October. The two of them took five minutes to chat to us about Scottish football and were warm, engaging and charming. Two really good guys.
  34. 42 points
    By being a nation of shitebags and rejecting our own independence.
  35. 42 points
  36. 41 points
    I appreciate all the comments in this thread about the first series of A View from the Terrace - as mentioned previously, it's always good to know what works well and what we can do to improve on some things going forward (and there are already some superb ideas in the pipeline for next season). It's been tremendous fun for everyone involved and I think we bowed out on a strong note on Friday night. A new TV show about Scottish football is unlikely to please everyone, and I can accept some of the criticism in this thread and on social media, but if you think Duncan McKay's trip to Stirling Albion to work as their groundsman for the day was "pointless" then A View from the Terrace isn't for you and you should probably watch something else. To address another point raised over the weekend, I've seen one or two comments on Twitter along the lines of "this should have been given to Si and Slaney" - would Open Goal, in its current format, benefit by being on TV? In what way would that make their product better? Open Goal can do whatever they want on YouTube, and good luck to them going forward. I don't understand why some people feel it's one or the other, A View form the Terrace or Open Goal. Kevin Kyle's comments on Friday night, made seven minutes into the show, were pretty funny, right enough. He shouldn't have deleted his original tweet; I wonder if someone had a word with him about it. I hope to see you all in a couple of months, enjoy your summer!
  37. 41 points
    Let's get back on track people, The story so far "the rangers" try to derail Killies league challenge by unsettling one of their top players They then sign EPL legend on loan and contribute more than the entire Killie squads wages towards his upkeep overpaid signing sclaffs in a goal from a handball with his only touch of the game Brophy makes it 1-1 Rangers 50 million lira striker has a goal chopped off for being a bellend Before unsettled Jordan Jones hammers a 20 yarder past floundering Macgregor Resulting in seething sevconians and happy everyone else.....................
  38. 41 points
  39. 41 points
    I heard three pretty tidy cabin crew workers on the Glasgow Airport bus(oops, is there a bus thread?) and I'm pretty sure they were summing me up "Yeah?" "Nah" "Hmmm" Followed by "Maybe" "No" "NAW" Both agreed it was a Naw as I got closer, and closer to my seat. I was delighted to even been in contention, a bit like the wildcard at Wimbledon getting papped out in the first round 6-1, 6-0, 6-0.
  40. 41 points
    Joining in the shoppers getting in the way theme, I'm afraid I totally lost it today. Pushing my wife around the shops in her wheelchair and we gets stuck in a clothes shop aisle behind two women who are gassing away, oblivious to the world. After coughing and trying a polite "Excuse me", we're totally ignored so I tried to turn the wheelchair in the narrow aisle but couldn't. Tried reversing but somebody had brought up a clothes rail so the route was blocked. So once again but a bit louder I said "Excuse me" and one of the women turns, looks at me then looks at the wife as if she was a piece of shit, "tuts" loudly then turns back to her pal and continues yacking. If there hadn't been a wheelchair between us I swear I would have lamped her. Instead, I very loudly roared "GET OUT OF MY FUCKING WAY YOU IGNORANT FUCKING BITCH!". The entire shop stopped dead to turn and look and she damn near shat herself as her pal pulled her out the way. As we went past her I called her a "Stupid c**t" only slightly less loudly than before. I'm now in the bad books with the wife for making a scene. WTF?
  41. 40 points
    I suppose it was only a matter of time before we were wombled err........ rumbled.
  42. 39 points
    The greeting faced *** sitting next to me moaning about everything, even resorting to moaning about the stadium having 'shite 4G connection' The fat baldy **** walking round to the main stand exits Throwing coins and other objects at people because a game of football isn't going the way you want The **** expecting a comfortable win Andy Halliday. Alfredo Morelos. Kyle Lafferty. Steven Gerrard I fucking love Livingston FC.
  43. 39 points
    Dunfermline must've endured horrible luck to sign all these 8s and 9s out of 10 without winning the league.
  44. 39 points
  45. 38 points
    Yes lads, I've just had a look through my old laptop (I use it exclusively for playing a Football Manager 2010 save game with Arsenal (currently in the year 2093) and watching videos) and I've found it. It was first posted in June 2009 and, reading it back, this was surely a knotty period for even someone with Kilt's lifestyle: Nick (White Witch = Good Guy)
  46. 38 points
  47. 37 points
    To be fair, if it is 3m as reported, that’s a 100k for every game the boy’s ever started for Motherwell. Also, a million quid for every goal he scored against top six opposition last season... In all seriousness though, it’s a phenomenal amount of money for the club and some people seem to have lost sight of that. For a player who, as the Capt says above, could have quite easily walked away and left us for pennies(comparatively speaking) like Hastie did. Since taking over Alan Burrows(and co) have surely now wiped out the club dept, taken in 5m in player sales(give or take) and will probably be posting there second seven figure profit of his tenure on the back of this deal. They have quite frankly done a remarkable job in a short space of time and deserve a bit more respect than some of the arseholes on social media show him/them. Maybe I’m wired slightly different, however seeing grown adults greeting and demanding answers from the club on social media is an absolute fucking mile oot.
  48. 37 points
    I read it as completely made up.
  49. 37 points
    Push pineapple, shake the tree.
  50. 37 points
    Not sure if this one has been posted already, but it's a bit of a classic that did the rounds a couple of years ago. I believe it's from a club in the Glasgow area. I've been in a nick a few times over the years but these c***s are in an utterly fucking ridiculous state. All the classic club afflictions - and more - are on display: The lassie's got ecto claw (ecstasius gubbedwrist) like nobody's business. The weight of her ear ring appears to be getting the better of her. Gravity's a bitch when you're that fucked. Estimated pill consumption - 9. The boy at the back has one of the best ecto masks (ecstasius meltedcoupon) that I've ever seen. The fact he's still managing to get a hand in the air indicates he's running the show on the dance floor. Estimated pill consumption - 14. The boy at the front's went baws oot to the point he's actually starting the mummification process right there in the middle of the floor. Check his mince pies - nothing but white! That c**t stood rooted to the spot like that for the rest of the night, past closing time and probably had to be wheeled away by the cleaner like some kind of perty warrior Hannibal Lecter. Estimated pill consumption - 35. Minimum. Stephen Hawking wouldn't look out of place among this crew. That's how fucked these people are. They've gone Hawking. He's not their kind of guy though, because while Hawking's undoubtedly a clever c**t, bitch can't fucking dance worth a f**k.
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