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Aged 18, I knew the guys who produced Viz comic (they were friends of a flatmate of the American girl I was going out with). Six months later, a strip appeared about a tragic Scottish boy who was desperate to be American. the character even had my name. c***s. my whole family read Viz at the time. Luckily I think it only lasted one issue. c***s.

Well, enough years have passed I reckon. Still hurts though.

I've posted this before but my uncle drew this For Disney

Thought that was very noticeable against Caley as well and goodness me does it make a difference. Goss and Slattery popping passes off to one another with Tierney at the tip of that triangle, dropping Spittal and Efford deeper also benefits both of them in different ways; Spittal with more time to find his cross, and space for Penney (who looks keen) to get in beyond, and Efford has space to run into, rather than solely left to beat someone, and probably more time for McGinn to support. There's immediately patterns of play and clear and obvious structures of what we're trying to do with the bodies we've got. Football simply isn't as hard as we tried to make it; what's Goss good at? Passing, so let's give him the ball, what's Slattery good at? Kind of everything? Sound you go do that. What's Efford good at? Running and terroring fullbacks? Class, go do it. What's Tierney's skillset? Turning boys and SHROO BALLS, sound we'd best do that and not play you as a fucking winger then eh? Alexander an absolute dingbat, in short. Weirdly, I can actually see a spot for Morris in that set up far more than what we tried to get him to do as well. We've not seen it as much, but he does have a good delivery. If Spittal is out/suspended/struggling I wouldn't be surprised to see him drop in there.

The Scottish Cup twitter feed promoting the OF game today and zero mention of the Scottish Cup ties being played today.

If there's one thing I can't stand it's a DAB c**t. If there's one thing I can't stand more than a DAB c**t, it's a DAB c**t that joins us as a DAB Agent. If there's one thing I can't stand more than a DAB c**t that joins us as a DAB Agent, it's a DAB c**t that parades himself at Tannadump after getting the sack for relegating Taysides classy club. Agent Ross has done a fine job in retaliation, but one DAB c**t needs taught a fuckin' lesson. Jim McIntyre, get ready for the Derry steamroller on Tuesday night, you utter utter DAB c**t. Sorry Cove Rangers, this is personal.

Big Jock drew.

Almost all pitch invasions these days are just folk copying a fad. It's not 'spontaneous' or anything of the sort. It's a trend.

Enough about Ryan Wallace, Deco is the boy.

I mean, aye we look a bit daft celebrating a goal that doesn’t end up being the winner and fair enough a bit of schadenfreude. All fine. But celebrating goals is one of footballs great joys man, don’t be such a complete melt. Albeit, it’s hard for us to come back from ‘get the sheep back in their pen’. That is top stuff.

Cheers Ludo. All criticism of McIntyre is completely justified from what I've seen so far at his fable attempt to manage us. Just want him emptied as soon as possible. Any luck it might tie in with when Hartley gets the boot from Hartlepool. Took charge of a club on an upward trajectory and within 2 months has turned things sour. Accies fans were singing "you're getting sacked in the morning" to him and I reckon that might have happened if not for our late goal. That would have been a disappointment for the hundreds of Dundee fans who will be travelling up to help secure that fate. Board won't take too much more of this. Lose the next two he'll be out of football for good.

A few boys in their element here, eh?

An absolute disgrace Peter Grant getting abuse whilst watching his sons play against us. Embarrassment ,guy didn't deserve that . We had some great days under PG especially in his first season. He always Fronted up and met the fans etc. Poor

He’s walking away, isn’t he?

In 2008/09 we finished 10th in Scotland’s top division whilst qualifying for European football for the first time in our history. The same season, Kelty Hearts and Edinburgh City were effectively still playing in the Junior leagues. Yesterday, we lost to Kelty in the 3rd tier of Scottish football whilst at the same time moving below Edinburgh City in the league. What a fucking shambles.

Can people please stop mentioning Martin Woods, I've only just got my blood pressure back to normal from watching him.

Having been forced to watch Efe Ambrose fanny about doing tricks in his 6 yard box last season and then have a solid centre back like Bene come in you can see why things went so badly wrong last season. The difference between those two players basically refects the difference in their respective managers. Yogi cared more about his team completing 700 passes a match to no effect, so that his pals in the media could massage his ego by commenting on the good football Yogi's teams play. McPake is more interested in winning football matches and not what outsiders think about our style. It's about his team not about him, unlike Yogi.

I really like @CoveRangers1922 on here. Seems like a good lad and always enjoy his posts and he's the only Cove fan I've really noticed on here. Therefore, I hope you don't mind our absolute bile and hatred of Jim McIntyre that is undoubtedly going to plague this thread. Maybe you can join in? Hopefully we can end his management career on Friday so that Cove can get a more progressive manager in.

My band played at a music festival that over 10,000 people attended. We probably played to a couple of thousand for our set. One of my other bands performed in the Royal Concert Hall in Glasgow to a couple of thousand too.

The Final League Tables are brought to you by Rock Bottom PFIZER PREMIERSHIP 2 weeks in a row @TheGreenElves makes his 32nd title. @Salvo Montalbano runners up for the 16th time. @Arch Stanton & @Insert Amusing Pseudonym are in the Europa Cup @The Hologram & @Eednud are in the Mugs Cup. No show for @Tynie Pecksniff no help for @Helpma and a bit stingy for @Stringer Bell they fall. @JustOneCornetto is in the playoff. WANNABE CHAMPIONSHIP Another Saint winner as @Leeds Saint notches his 17th second tier title. Also on the march @Geaky& @gkneil. @The_Kincardine is in the playoff. Going on tour are @mathematics @101 & @The Captain. Tickets are always available at any beach hut. @JamesP_81 is in the playoff. LAST CHANCE SALOON SHOOTOUT Nothing plastic about this Killie lad @ArmadaleKillie lands his 4th Diddy title. Also happy. @pleslie99 & @senorsoupe. @kingjoey is in the playoff. Consistency is the key. Thickness his strength. 2 on the bounce for @BaSeDG0DSA1NT

That...doesn't seem right.

Vote No in 2014 - folk were warned - complete clusterfuck ensues for Scotland Vote Brexit in 2016 - folk were warned - complete clusterfuck ensues for entire UK Introduce VAR to Scotland in 2022 - folk have been warned - [have a guess what's next...]

Had an amazing couple of days in Glencoe, stayed at Red Squirrel campsite and managed to do the traverse of Aonach Eagach on Thursday in glorious weather. To be perfectly honest, the whole day (9 hours, start to finish) was various forms of torture for me as I'm unfit, overweight and an auld duffer. However, the reason for this trip was to say goodbye to a dear friend who died in May 2021, we weren't able to go to his funeral due to Covid restrictions and when his wife had a memorial day walk back in June, I couldn't go as I had Covid - She then asked 4 of us if we could scatter some of his ashes in Glencoe as he just loved this part of Scotland and we decided to walk the ridge as our own wee tribute to the man. Mrs. F_P felt the ridge was too much for her as she is quite small and would have struggled with some of the scrambling so she came up to Am Bodach and scattered a few ashes before going back to Glencoe Village to get some vittles & booze. The slog up to the summit of Am Bodach made me realise just how out of shape I am but finally made it and said farewell to our pal on the platform just after the summit of AB.............. VID-20220903-WA0002.mp4 Didn't take any more photos after this and wasn't that aware of the exposure as I was concentrating so hard on where I was putting my hands & feet.. ..a shame really as the weather was so fine....I remember looking back after having done the first bit of scrambling coming off Am Bodach and thinking "Feck me, did I just come down that ?" There's a few vids on YT of folk crossing The Pinnacles and if the weather is good, it is an exhilarating experience. We had one heart-stopping moment when we took a wrong line and descended into a dead end and had to climb back up to go over, rather than round, one of the pinnacles. I genuinely thought I had run out of gas at that point and needed to stop to gather my thoughts. After this I got a second wind and felt more relaxed and confident and masochistically enjoyed myself, even though my lungs were bursting and thighs were screaming at some points......With hindsight, I think I maybe could have done with a bit more fitness (!) but eventually got to Sgurr nam Fiannaidh and the murderous field of scree / stoney descent towards Glencoe Youth Hostel which took me 3 hours (pretty f*cked at this point, it has to be said)....I told my companions to go ahead. I took loads of stops coming down and my final pic was looking towards Loch Linnhe & Ballachulish...... "Bye bye Jim....."

It's not like Lycett tried to hide his take on the show.

Few people are as precious when someone mocks their profession as journalists. Particularly laughable when it's shining a light on the absurd, emperor-has-no-clothes nature of British political commentary.

Week 36 update Two deaths this week. Up first, former Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev: Mikhail Gorbachev obituary | Russia | The Guardian Late 80s/early 90s history? Why, I bet there's a Simpsons moment that defines my understanding of these events "I just drop by with present for warming of house. Instead find you grappling with local oaf." Gorbachev died at 91 so he's worth 34 Base Points for @10menwent2mow, @Fuctifano, @HI HAT, @lichtgilphead, @Mark Connolly, @paulathame and @scottsdad, with @Hamish's Passenger getting a Vice-Captain bonus for 51 points. ===================== Second death this week was the TV presenter Bill Turnbull: Bill Turnbull obituary: Beloved BBC Breakfast host - BBC News Ironically for an obituary about someone who was clearly a very good journalist and broadcaster, the BBC doesn't really write these things in a condensed enough fashion to quote effectively here, so rather than any details about him or his his life you can just get that bit about his cancer diagnosis. By my count almost all of the people participating in the Dead Pool this year have prostates, so regardless of what age you are give this a read and keep it in mind: What are the symptoms of prostate cancer? | Prostate Cancer UK Turnbull died at 66, so he's worth 59 Base Points for @Aim Here, Bishop Briggs, @buddiepaul, @chomp my root, @D.V.T., @Fuctifano, @gkneil, @HI HAT, @Indale Winton, @lichtgilphead, @peasy23, @psv_killie, @qos_75, @senorsoupe, @The_Craig, @The DA and @thistledo. After all of that, the standings look like this: 1. Bishop Briggs 691 2. Indale Winton 635 3. chompmyroot 551 4. Ned Nederlander 496 5. sparky88 445 6. JustOneCornetto 431 7. Billy Jean King, gkneil 382 9. weirdcal 372 10. Arch Stanton 358 11. psv_killie 353 12. Sweaty Morph 342 13. Savage Henry 338 14. mathematics 321 15. peasy23 318 16. Moomintroll 293 17. The DA 263 18. Arbroathlegend36-0 255 19 The Master 244 20. lichtgilphead, The_Craig 237 22. scottsdad 233 23. Arabdownunder 230 24. microdave 228 25. thistledo 226 26. senorsoupe 219 27. Aim Here, buddiepaul 205 29. Fuctifano, jimbaxters 196 31. Desp 188 32. pawpar 187 33. pub car king 181 34. Raidernation 174 35. Florentine_Pogen 173 36. tamthebam 169 37. Melanius Mullarkey 163 38. thisal 160 39. Blootoon87 151 40. gingette 150 41. cdhafc1874 130 42. Lofarl 127 43. nessies long lost ghost, The Naitch 113 45. Hamish's Passenger, speckled tangerine 112 47. Mark Connolly 109 48. Miguel Sanchez 105 49. Bully Wee Villa 104 50. HI HAT 93 51. sleazy 92 52. scorge 85 53. ayrunitedfw, Les Cabbage 82 55. The Hologram 73 56. ThomCat 69 57. D.V.T., qos_75 59 59. Willie adie 57 60. Cardinal Richelieu, djchapsticks, Enigma, get_the_subbies_on, Lex, RossBFaeDundee 52 66. Ray Patterson 47 67. Bert Raccoon, statts1976uk 39 69. 10menwent2mow, paulathame 34 71. cambozpar, Karpaty Lviv 30 73. Everyone else 0 The spreadsheet has also been updated with these scores: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1mup1IJllKHs0a47J8G6IXUkvShJrV28Iuc-Kkn7RKuo/edit?usp=sharing

We can't keep decisions to that though. We now have years worth of evidence from multiple leagues on what VAR actually is and how it actually works. We no longer need to engage in hypothetical 'well if they can keep it to this then it will be alright' scenarios because we know that no league in the world has been able to keep it to this. VAR should be judged on what it actually involves. It will regularly take 3, 4, 5 minutes to make decisions. It will regularly rule out goals and give penalties for minor infringements that nobody would have called major errors (in some cases even an error at all) 5 years ago. It does that in England, it does that in Spain, it does that in the Champions League. It will do that in Scotland too. For me, the actual realities of what VAR is in the real world wouldn't be worth it even if it meant that we got to 100% correct decisions. I just think that there are more important things in football and VAR tends to take them away in pursuit of a goal which it can't achieve and which I don't think is necessarily a goal we should be all that worried about achieving in the first place.

Three more games and we've played everyone, nothing much to fear so far, just ridiculously cramped seating.

The average age of our starting 11 was 23 whilst yours was 24.5. Indeed, the only players over 26 that featured for us were Lee Ashcroft, Paul McGowan & Niall McGinn. Only the latter 2 are over 30 and they were substitutes.

Honestly f**k off so much man. An unbelievable strike that no one thought was wrong, yet you've got some VL spending five minutes stroking their pens trying to find a reason to rule it out. Get it to f**k

Invite a well known sardonic wit onto your show and not expect them to rip the piss out of this whole pantomime with Liz Truss in a starring role? Talk about an open goal. The rest of us can’t take this seriously, neither could Joe Lycett.

Those pesky laws of the game giving Celtic protection.

Okay, time to start the ball rolling. The first sets of fixtures are Division A gkneil vs beef2711 Ziggy_the_Spider vs AH13STU Board_Stupid vs AimHere Purplekangaroo89 vs Arabjoe AH13STU vs gkneil beef2711 vs Board_Stupid Arabjoe vs Ziggy_the_Spider AimHere vs Purplekangaroo89 -- Division B (Because there's an odd number of players, one player sits out every round, so some weeks there's only one game) pleslie999 vs invergowrie N5_Spur vs The_kid1433 PnBMathematics vs XCTR94 markf268 vs N5_Spur XCTR94 vs pleslie999 The_kid1433 vs PnBMathematics -- Division C IncomingExile vs Basedgodsa1nt mackieboz vs Strachanovski Dandies1983 vs RBWatson AlbinoRov vs KenDeans Strachanovski vs IncomingExile Basedgodsa1nt vs Dandies1983 KenDeans vs mackieboz RBWatson vs AlbinoRov -- Results and tables are calculated in the spreadsheet at https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1WTFYYhhNWBObdMMS9BM-0teqA1DQQjAgnL0PsODXi5U/edit#gid=463367305 if you need to check old results or think there's a mistake or whatever.

In fairness, that 4-1-3-2 type formation isn't exactly brilliant if you are asking the one sitting midfielder to dictate play with the game in front of them. I think the idea is to bypass him and go direct but that isn't going to work with our available "forwards" I would revert to a 4-2-3-1 for next week, get Spencer and Stanton playing in that 2, get Brown in at right back and Millen into the North Sea.

Put them in here rather than overtake the match thread with our complaints. We do have some genuine quality in the squad, maybe not as much as WG claims but there are a good few players in that squad that would comfortably slot in to Championship squads. The problem isn't lack of quality, it's lack of grafters and fighters which is what FTB touches on. We were instantly better yesterday when Wilson came on but we need more than that sadly. Annan and Clyde came to Palmerston and were excellent. You look through the squad though and there is little footballing ability in there but the difference is they got in our faces, never let us settle and went in for every challenge. We have too many players who want to do the tidy stuff but wont do the dirty side of the game. Sadly good football ability isn't enough in this division and if we don't toughen up as a unit we'll be further down the league than we expect.

I was once “arrested” on the grounds of Gordonstoun at 2am.

Going by the nick of your early hours posting, I think that ship had well and truly sailed.

I thought I was full up on tears after Follow the Fife's outburst last night but it appears I have more room for some breakfast tears.

It’s so frustrating when we can’t do the basics in defence, as they are playing some of the best football I’ve seen from a Clyde team for years. The schoolboy errors are killing us.

McGlynn says in the interview that he does not think that the positional changes were the problem. So he’s clearly not learned much from today. However all this attacking the players from last season and absolving the others is really pissing me off. What McGlynn said about the players not turning up today is spot on and McGuffie and Nesbit were no worse than Henderson, Mackie and Hogarth as examples. Quite simply the whole team was dreadful today and whilst positional changes did not help, a serious lack of getting in about the opposition today was a much bigger concern and very similar to what we have seen in previous seasons….

I want Jim McIntyre as far away from Cove as physically possible. Don't think he's done a single thing right so far. Don't even get me started on his "recruitment". I use that word loosely for his attempts so far. Leighton's equaliser in the last 10 minutes probably kept him in his job (for now). As for the mid-week game, Dees strolled it especially second half. Great to see Lyall pull the strings. Watched him on loan at Peterhead and Montrose. Superb talent. Robinson looks a great find.