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I've come out with some absolute corkers over the years: 'Same shit, different day', that's mine. ''Exqueeze me' instead of 'Excuse me' 'w**k you very much', I invented that.

My personal favourite is when someone posts something that can be interpreted as an innuendo and then another (middle-aged) member of The Forum posts the following: Never fails to raise a chuckle!

How the f**k does a sane individual get worked up by a faceless twat on the internet? I've mentioned Randoms garden on here but it's all in jest (apart from his gardening skills, they're shite). If he'd sent a simple PM saying not to I'd have probably stopped. His melodramatic shite is just him, if you don't like it tell him then move on, don't hound the laddie over several forums and social media and certainly don't bring his new kid into things. You may not like his stat side of things( I think they can be misleading) but surely most can accept it has a role to play in the modern game? Random, love him or loath him, is a welcome addition to the Saints support on here and is certainly no where near the worst. I'll leave that open goal there for anyone that wants it...

There will be more Motherwell fans at a European game tomorrow night than there have been St Mirren fans for 35 years

Starmer is a huge Tory. Labour are Tory lite cowards who stand for nothing. Absolute fucking filth, total scum party full of braindead arseholes. Utterly unelectable. Even if they somehow win the next general election, so what? What will actually change? Nothing. I absolutely abhor them. Any time I see folk saying they wish they could vote for them, I think that person is an idiot. Labour as a concept are dead, and have been for a long time.

As we're all too aware, some posts (and posters) on The Pie And Bovril Forum are better than others. In my time on The Forum I've seen a huge array of contributions across various Sub-Forums and Topics. In order to highlight the best of The Forum I thought it would be good to have a thread dedicated to great turns of phrase you've seen which have either made you smile, made you think, made you cry, or even bled into your Offline discussions with friends, family and colleagues. Some examples of great turns of phrase that stick in my head from The Pie And Bovril Scottish Football Forum are: - "I wear GANT polo shirts around the house"; I believe this phrase was first coined by Lexi Collector. I howled with laughter when I first read it and I'm still smirking now as I type this out. It's one I've borrowed and drop into every day conversation on a regular basis eg down the pub, in coffee catch ups or even on holiday. - "I have a five figure income"; one from the great PearBuyerBell. At first this read to me like he was bragging but when I inspected it more closely I got the humour in the post for which he was so renowned. I sent this exact phrase to one of my best mates in a WhatsApp message earlier today and got a couple of these () back. An all timer as far as I'm concerned. - "I have a bad feeling about this. 2-0 to [insert opposition]"; this has almost become a catchphrase of sorts from @TheScarf. Great poster, great phrasing. I've said this to the lads I go to Falkirk games with on a regular basis before most of our matches over the last few years, and more often than not I've been correct. Credit to @TheScarf for this one as it makes me smile.

Edit - Alert Mongoose beat me to it

We are as of tonight less than 10% behind our 1250 high of a couple of years ago

Forget about Paton, I'm sure we will have Rogic signed up by Friday night.

No idea who first posted it but “Getting off at Haymarket” is one of my favourite bits of patter to come from this website

Stephen Husband

Oh great, the 15-20 goal striker cliche raked out again. The top league goal scorer in all divisions in Scotland last season had 13 and he was a winger. So if there's a guy out there he won't be coming to us and scouts from all clubs must have missed him. We need goals from all over the park as does every other team. Some posters live in cuckoo land.

A jammy 10 for Wednesday, 9 for Thursday, book series wrong.

Thursday, 10/10, 1 guess…looks like jacksgranda is pretty secure!

Some quotes and my thoughts on them. "We haven't played a single league game yet. If we go the first three games of the season without picking up a single point and Murray is still struggling to bring players in then I could understand being upset. " No we haven't but we've been held by two lower league sides that I'm sure a Raith side of the last 3 seasons would have dispatched. That we don't start the league campaign well is my main worry, but why shouldn't supporter be upset with the fact that we couldn't get out of an easy group and picked up a cash tie against Rangers? Reason enough to be annoyed in my book. "We all know, Murray included, that we're short on centre-halves, more so this week than last, but I genuinely cannot think of a single one who is available in Scotland that I'd like to see here." Yet this isn't news is it? This has been the case since he came into the job 65 days ago, true it has been exacerbated by the retirement of Berra but IM has had over 2 months to do something about it and as I type we are NOW less than 48 hours from the opening league fixture. The fact that CH's are a rare commodity in this country make it even more ludicrous that we now allowed FOUR of the 5 who played last season to slip away. Now before some knob jumps in with the apparent fav phrase of the moment "knicker wetting" Surely a better question is how can any supporter of the Rovers not be concerned? Even if Murray signs two central defenders and a striker today they will be complete strangers to their teammates up at the Balmoral Stadium. God how I wish we'd kept Musonda and McKay.

10 for Thursday.

Dorries on the BBC this morning telling everyone it’s great to have the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham as we haven’t had a sense of sporting occasion since London 2012. I mean, it’s no surprise that she didn’t notice Glasgow 2014 happened, but she’s still a fucking moron

I like when people post anecdotes about Mrs [username]. Do people really go about saying Mrs TabbyCat or is it just on here? Mrs Ammo sitting wondering why I'm giggling right now... (That's what I call my cat). Xxxxxx

It’s meek and understated and under our badge. Bit like what we’ve witnessed so far

This discussion is a close relative of the annual 'Should we be happy when the OF qualify for the Champions' League?' chat. OF fans fall over themselves to point out that other clubs get chucked a few quid and make out that we should be happy with that. But they completely miss the point that they make so much money from the enterprise that the other clubs would be better off overall if none of it happened whatsoever. They just don't see football in the same way.

Won't somebody please think of the (rich boomer) pensioners relying on our dividend?! It's time to get the guillotine out.

10 for Thursday

Super sexy TEN for Thursday. Was only unsure of the element.

I stopped reading there but anyone making the argument that the mentality of the fan base is one of the clubs biggest problems is in need of a reality check. It sounds like something the Falkirk board said at that Q&A.

Is Robert Thomson maybe feeling overwhelmingly bitter because Random has had more access to the club than he's had during the past year? Should I ask him on Twitter? It might clarify his strange behaviour.

That’s what she said

I've only read the Twitter thread rather than the comments on here as of yet but felt the need to comment before I read on. @RandomGuy.I don't know why, because you always are up for arguing until the bitter end on a random, shitty topic on here but you seem to continually shit the bed when it comes to Robert Thomson and you've ended up deactivating your account on Twitter. The last time round you threw a big strop and people rallied round you. Thomson's problem is that he's made a career from being a know it all arsehole and you're just simply better at being a know it all arsehole. Stop letting him get to you, you're knowledgeable about your club if a bit overdramatic at times and the first person I look at when Dundee have signed an ex -St J player or want to know a bit of info about a former Dee or whatever. Who gives a shit what Thomson's suck ups on Twitter think? Get back to doing what you do best and ignore dinosaurs like him and block the people giving you personal grief.

I'm very active in that particular field. Yes. I mean no. Ye cannae beat it.

Maybe if McGlynn had taken a look at Keating before signing him we wouldn’t be where we are so fair play from Murray in my book.

The abuse behind Alexander in his Radio Scotland interview was interesting, he was asked if he was ok to continue

Dead one.

Robert Mugabi > Mugabi

Yes it is. But only when talking about one of these.....

He played 45 minutes for Blackpool at Dens in a friendly in 2019. I remembered him because I had to spell his name correctly for the match report.

“It’s only a red circle.”

Don’t know about others thoughts ,but I just see a left back signing as totally pointless. albeit still a bit raw, I’d rather us play Greig Young to be brutally honest. He’s looked good in some of the games he’s featured in.

Really wish we still had Anton Dowds. A crying shame how that panned out.

Unexpected and very flukey, guess-ridden 10

I'm not expecting a totally settled team, but we should set out the season as we mean to go on. We aren't good enough to write off the first few games, and if you start off by losing the first few, there's a risk you end up like Dunfermline, no momentum, no wins from 7 - 8 - 9- 10.... pressure builds, and you find yourself looking for a new manager come October!

Big John is getting burnt today(my helicopter has no petrol). Funny enough it's also the Thai King birthday (holiday). So I've taken the day off of work and started drinking 7am. Everyone, no tears, no sad. The first person you meet (outwith your family) give a compliment. Do it! Enjoy your life

He is however accurate enough in recognising he's a Dick

How exactly would a private owner taking over and chucking more money at running costs/playing squad, leading to the club building up a private debt to that owner, be more sustainable? That's the definition of unsustainable. The model of a white knight owner artificially inflating expenditure is essentially dead at Scottish Championship level. Yes, there are still clubs with private owners who, like Douglas Rae with Morton, are willing to throw hundreds of thousands of pounds away through ego, sentimentality or a combination of them. Unlike Douglas Rae with Morton, some of that spending might even go on capital expenditure that leaves the club in a better place and provides a platform for future sustainability, rather than simply spending it on inflated wages for crap players and managers at the bottom of the full-time barrel. Maybe the likes of Queen's Park find themselves levelling off in a better place where the money they're spending on the first team becomes affordable as they've made it to the Premiership, maybe Ayr making revenue generating stadium improvements means income catches up with first team expenditure. It might work out well for the clubs still under private ownership, it might not and they end up where Morton were less than 18 months ago, with over £2M of debt and no way to pay it off. To find ourselves with a debt free club with the stadium secured out of that was no small feat and it could very easily have ended up with the club homeless or dead. Once you've actually gotten to the place we are, to jump right back into private ownership with the first Angelo Massone figure promising to spend millions because we don't like how much the club can spend without a sugar daddy would be an act of reckless stupidity. We wouldn't be likely to get away with it again. None of this means MCT are above criticism, doing everything right or that we shouldn't be asking serious questions about what can and should be done better. A whole rewrite of their articles is required for starters, and the transparency hasn't been good enough at any point. It is just extremely tedious that any time anything negative has happened since they took over the club, there has been a kneejerk reaction that the entire concept of fan ownership has to be doomed to fail under any circumstances. If we don't like how things are going then why can we not talk about how fan ownership should look, how MCT can be improved, what a sustainable Morton looks like, rather than just throwing our hands up and begging for a white knight to ride in and save us with their bottomless pit of money?

We'll be back out doing exactly the same thing in the second half.

That’s genuinely the funniest comparison I think I’ve ever read. You just compared yourself to Novak Djokovic

Congratulations on your successful funding application then.