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This kind.

The sheer poetic beauty of the ball sliding down his hair island into the net.

Both lose then fuckin die please.

Posts that show a lack of self-awareness.

There's a staaar man playing on the right, His name is Paul McMullan and he's fuckin dynamite.

I've helpfully underlined the answer.

He was a monumental twat. Good riddance.

If I had went from St Mirren to Celtic at the age of 16 I would have been a complete loser, you are absolutely right. Luckily I didn’t though, and anyone who does that would be doing it for the sole reason of getting to watch their team win every week. I used to play Football Manager when I was younger, and I would always start at a team like Dundee United or Raith Rovers. 10 years into the game when you had become the best team in Scotland and we’re winning the league every year it became extremely boring and I stopped. That’s what supporting Rangers or Celtic is like, except their fans revel in that dominance and use it like a personality trait. There’s no entry criteria to support a team that wins every week, you don’t need to pass a test to support Celtic. If I was that way inclined I could turn round tomorrow and say I support Real Madrid and laugh at Celtics lack of European cups, I wouldn’t do that though because I want to go and support a team where winning a game means something, a genuine achievement.

Announcing you have put someone on ignore.

"Celtic haven't yet been tested in the league". Well, there was that match they lost.....

“He’s our star man playing on the right, His name is Paul McMullan and he’s fucking dynamite.” To the tune of David Bowie - Starman

Imagine red dotting people to get attention then complaining that people mention you red dot people for attention. Seriously? Can you imagine how thirsty such a person would be? I can't imagine anyone is like that on here.

Motoring towards 40 consecutive years of top flight football, ML1's footballing powerhouse simply don't do relegation, no matter how shite we may be in any given season. If there's ever a hint that we're in danger, we simply get our good friends in the corridors of power to reconstruct the league or fûck over some 2 bit club like Falkirk with their shitey ground to maintain our #bigtime status, so you can realistically reduce your pool to 5 candidates for taking the plunge towards the seasides. * You may wish to bookmark this post for the end of the season as we are fairly gash atm and could be right in the mix.

Welcome one and all. Peter has a stranglehold on the keys to the bottom of the league house. Battling the odds, he has steered his new club into his preferred spot and will do all he can to keep them there. Can your shitey mob displace him? Stay tuned…

Whenever there's any sort of deadly/tragic incident - terrorist attacks, murders etc you get the usual contrarian bores who dive in right away to show everyone how little they care and how little they are affected/bothered by the incident by giving it the ''could've been me eh lads ''. These type of posts massively outweigh the ambulance chasing social media posts they're taking the piss out of. See also - hitting out with the Lovejoy patter whenever anyone hints at showing a wee bit of empathy towards anything. As others have mentioned the 'creepy middle aged da at work showing you photos of lassies on his phone' vibe is fairly common on here, was particularly strong during the Euros, where discussions would regularly be interrupted by random photos of girls from whatever countries were playing, as if it was their first time on the internet and they'd just discovered Google images. Whilst we're on the Euros, saying things like 'Engerlund' and other such TAMB patter should be on the list.

Threads where people from different parts of Scotland argue over what something is called. Chippy or chipper, who fucking cares?

Deserved result, only ourselves to blame and when I say ourselves I mean Alex Gogic. The guy is absolute guff, we’ve conceded 4 league goals this season and he’s been to blame for 3 of them. I suppose the other fingers you can point are at Graeme Mathie, Jack Ross and Ron Gordon, this humming and hawing over trying to bring in players in time for the season starting, cost us in Europe and cost us today, yes we had injuries but with any foresight we wouldn’t have to play the likes of McGregor and Gogic and we’d still be in Europe and on 9 points. Dundee were good though, expect them to stay up, a good one for the neutral in fairness.

Stay doon where we put you. Thank You.

We exist to improve people's lives.

Still absolutely seething

Made up stories to prove conclusively that your world view or previous posts had been accurate. Scheme goblin, cockwomble, made up words. Constant shoe horning irrelevant elements into other posts... "Doing my PhD/here in Yemen, I did a huge shite".

Hamish McAlpine's daughter in law has just won the Women's Open at Carnoustie. Great day all round for us. PTBAA

Rosie the dog made a new pal today, say hello to Leo

Afghan/COVID type threads where folks have clearly been googling the f**k out of a subject then trying to pass it off as stuff they knew.

Fair enough. Hesgoal has let me down badly today. They really should offer a better service considering the amount I pay for it.

Don't care if I've been beaten to it Didn't you go into meltdown trying to deflect criticism of Rangers fans on a drunken rampage in Glasgow city centre because their team won something by saying the people doing the criticism were middle class snobs who didn't understand the significance of football and sectarianism among the working class?

I feel like I am more qualified to comment on Celtic fans after being taken to games since I was a toddler. When I grew up and realised I’m basically turning up to cheer on a team that’s got every possible advantage in their favour I looked elsewhere. No matter what sport I watch I always like to support the underdog, I got no pleasure from watching Martin O Neils Celtic team putting 3 or 4 past teams most weeks, where it got to the stage the fans were cheering the goals in the same manner you would politely clap a golfer rolling in a 4 footer at the Open.

Mentioned it on another thread but my old man passed away 10 days ago. He had been a Dundee fan for as long as he could remember, having himself been taken to Dens as a child by his dad and was lucky enough to see Billy Steel playing for us in the flesh, including both Hampden League cup final wins and (unfortunately) the drubbing at the hands of Motherwell in between. He went to almost all the home games in our 61-62 league-winning season, and was at Muirton on THAT day to see us lift the trophy and was a regular for many seasons after, including the various european campaigns but didn't make the 1973 league cup win. He started taking me to games in the mid-80s - Dens one week, Tannadice the next and let me make my own choice. Obviously I preferred Dens. I think he was just happy I had no interest in either of the Old Firm. Posting up the video of the 4-3 win over Rangers in 1992 in the Surprise Results thread reminded me of him - it was a cracking hot day and he'd parked away up in some side street of Clepington Road. Of course we didn't have jacketson so after beating Rangers 4-3 we basically had to walk through several thousand seething Rangers fans to get back to the car in Dundee tops and scarves The best of the lot though was before a Rangers game at Dens in 1988. BBC were doing the commentary and for whatever reason Archie McPherson was late getting to the gantry. He had to walk through the Derry about 5 minutes before kick off to get to the TV gantry which of course meant he got pelters from absolutely everyone, especially my old man, who's bovril he'd spilled when frantically trying to squeeze past him between the benches. McPherson had that massive sheepskin coat on. I hope getting that bovril stain out cost the c**t a fortune Good memories.

Was pondering this earlier today. I think we're safe for this season. As a fulltime club we're pretty much expected to win League One regardless of the f*ckups we've made over the last two seasons. And even then the first one would probably have seen us promoted had covid not intervened. So nobody's going take any notice of our players and staff doing well in League One. If we get promoted and start well next season that will change though. And I don't think any enhancements can prevent it. You could have doubled Jobbie's salary when he took us to the top of the League in 2003 and it wouldn't have prevented him going to Dundee Utd. Ditto Jefferies / Hearts and Totten / Rangers. As for Nesbitt, I watched him play for Scotland youths in a tournament seven years ago and emerge as our best player. By an absolute mile. The boy was - and evidently still is, despite the opinion of Morton fans - a class act. If he maintains the performance level that he's put in so far there'll be nothing we can do to hold onto him once his deal expires. At least if he wants to play at a higher level. Having said all that, I still can't quite believe that Morrison signed an extension. I'm sure as hell not complaining though.

I have not renewed for the first time and have luckily had the use of a friends season ticket for yesterday and next weekend. Beyond that I will happily PATG but still justify my decision not to buy a season ticket. That was my way of showing my feeling towards the board as the ST figure means a lot during the summer months. Even if I pay more over the course of the season, my money at the gate will be getting paid in acknowledgement of the good performance from the players and coaching team. If there appeared to be no improvement (thankfully there is) then I probably wouldn't bother.

Yes and it's just a circle.

OK. I’m not too proud to say Mr Dean Campbell had a hugely impressive performance when he came on today. Absolute fair do’s to the lad, credit and praise when it’s due. I’m away to eat humble pie with my dinner tonight. Will be well chuffed if he continues to prove me wrong. Well done and keep it up Dean [emoji122]

People who post the exact same things they've seen others post dozens of times before, absolutely merit waterboarding. An ironic "but we just don't know" on the Coronavirus thread is the poster boy of the genre.

As for the actual game, that was...fun. Which is weird, because that's not a word I was expecting to use about the Dees this season, but early signs point to us actually being quite fun to watch, which is nice. After watching that, I think I'll bother to make the trip to Motherwell next week. I don't particularly rate McGowan as a player, but it's worth having him in the squad anyway for moments like his in-the-crowd-stonewall-yellow-card cello. Really strong work. Cummings actually broke into a a jog to join in with the bantz, which I think was the only time I saw him do so after the interval. I've seen him play multiple times for both the Dees and Shrewsbury, and I think that might literally be the first time I've ever seen him be asked to play 90 minutes. There are two possible outcomes here. One is that he actually gets fit enough to play 90 minutes. The other is that he gets injured, and Jordan McGhee finds that the latest stage of his utility man odyssey is spent up front, trying to play on the shoulder of the last man. I know which outcome I want to happen, and I know which outcome my money is on. As for Hibs, I know they were missing a few players, and I know they've had a hectic schedule of late but I was pretty underwhelmed. I don't know how to feel about this. On an idealistic level, I want Scottish football to do well and prove the naysayers wrong, and I feel like for that to happen you need the Hibses of this world to be half decent. On a more pragmatic level, if Hibs are one of the better teams in the league, then I suspect we aren't one of the two worst, because I think any fair observer would say we deserved a point to day. Oh, and also: DEE, EE, DOUBLE R, DOUBLE R Y, DE-RRY! How fucking good was it to be back in a stadium for real with no restrictions? Magic. Even the silly kick off time couldn't spoil it.

Let's be honest here, this team is full of shaggers.

Probably because it was another blatant dive m8.

As memorable as all his other posts then

On the topic of Afghanistan obvious MI6 agent Tom Tugdenhat is calling for a full public inquiry. Surely it won't take long to establish that British combat forces withdrew from Afghanistan in 2014 so after that we have as much impact on as what goes on there as Ghana or Mexico. The contrived hysteria this week is absolutely nothing to do with events in Afghanistan which the British political class and media had completely ignored for 7 years and everything to do with trying to salvage liberal military invasion and occupation as a credible political decision. Apart from various weirdos who are either part of or adjacent to the political/NGO class no one under the age of 40 in the UK believes that anything good can come from military intervention or bombing.

My favourite posts are when someone does something absolutely mental, for instance some guy from wick saying Glaswegians who complain about violence and sectarian abuse are gentrifiers, disappear for 4 months and then rock up again. Welcome back btw

FTFY

@Ad Lib I'm a little drunk, sorry, I'm un educated I'm not sorry for that. 1 I Not going to beat about the bush. I'll could batter you. ok You are very intellectual boy. Note 1 Enjoy you day