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Jokes about Schizophrenia are brilliant!

Presumably Sridhar will be making a grovelling apology and announcing her resignation in the near future for undermining the vaccine program with her horseshit.

Even the University of Life is going to revoke ayrmad's degree if he carries on like this.

Daily Cases Update: Public Health Scotland are going on holiday again till next Tuesday ! Aye the union would no doubt moan if they do not get their days in the sun. Pandemic or not. So probably last figures for a while. What a sensational day. infections down nearly 5% in 24 hours. Over 79% lower than when we entered lockdown. Positivity now down to 2.5%. Catching up now with the rest of the UK at our 63.0 cases per 100K. The last date we were at these levels was 26th September. Positivity then was 3.5% and we are testing 25% more people. Headline really has to be Glasgow's progress in the last 72 hours. Never been below 100 cases per100K for over 6 months and now down to 80.7 I suspect if we were all supposed to be going into Level 3 today that Clach's would probably be denied. Small council but reasonable outbreak in Sauchie. It is the worst council currently in the UK by far. On that metric West Lothian is 7th & North Lanarkshire 9th. At the other end we have 7 of the 10 councils in the UK with rates under 15. Scotland peaked at 301.9 for figures 29th Dec to 4th Jan, (UK was 642.1) Cases that day were 16,496 and test positivity rate was 11.9% Total Cases 7 days from 23rd March to 29th March were 3610 now 3440 down 4.71%. Positivity was 2.6% now 2.5%. Cases per 100k were 66.1 now 63.0 Home Nations Daily update: UK Average 56.2 to 55.4, England 55.8 to 54.9, Wales 38.6 to 37.8, Northern Ireland 56.2 to 56.7 NHS Progress Lanarkshire 106.2 to 102.0, Forth Valley 92.3 to 97.5, Greater Glasgow 86.2 to 78.6, Lothian 71.6 to 68.8, the rest all under Scottish average. European (Above 2 Million Population) Shockers: Hungary 625 to 637, Poland 427 to 501, Serbia 504 to 494, Czech 557 to 425, France 392, Bulgaria 360 to 361, Sweden 328 to 346, Belgium 258 to 341, Bosnia 324, Slovenia 318, Netherlands 262 to 292. Italy 264 to 258, all over 250 and showing how much worse it is in Europe. The UK only has below it Denmark 43, Portugal 28 (Who were top recently !!!) and Russia 43. Council progress in last 24 Hours as follows. Click cases by neighbourhood to see the spread on the geographical map. https://public.tableau.com/profile/phs.covid.19#!/vizhome/COVID-19DailyDashboard_15960160643010/Overview Bad boys over 100 cases club Clackmannanshire 164.9 to 196.0 Sauchie 929.7 virtually 50% of all cases romp back to the top. Very small council. West Lothian 143.6 to 133.3 Dropping but Breich Valley still 997.8 North Lanarkshire 140.0 to 131.5 Down 6% and this should continue. Renfrewshire 103.3 to 105.5 Under 100 Club Falkirk 93.2 to 92.0 North Ayrshire 84.6 to 85.3 Glasgow City 91.1 to 80.7 Unbelievable Geoff. Down another 11.42% drop as it cements it's place below 100 for 1st time in 6 months. Dundee City 73.7 to 77.0 East Dunbartonshire 77.3 to 74.6 South Lanarkshire 70.2 to 70.5 West Dunbartonshire 78.7 to 69.7 Falling again excellent 11.44% East Renfrewshire 81.6 to 69.1 Great day down over 15% Moray 81.4 to 67.8 Under Scottish Average club 63.0 East Ayrshire 53.3 to 61.5 City Of Edinburgh 55.2 to 53.9 Stirling 51.0 to 53.1 Midlothian 53.0 to 53.0 SUB 50 Good Guys Perth & Kinross 50.0 to 42.1 Nicely down over 15% Fife 49.5 to 43.9 Nicely down over 11% East Lothian 43.9 to 43.9 Aberdeen City 44.6 to 41.5 Angus 43.0 to 40.4 Aberdeenshire 27.9 to 30.2 Havana & Malt Whisky club Sub 30.0 Inverclyde 30.8 to 24.4 South Ayrshire 27.5 to 26.6 Shetland Islands 8.7 to 13.1 Dumfries & Galloway 17.5 to 12.8 Scottish Borders 11.3 to 12.1 Highlands 10.2 to 8.9 Argyll & Bute 5.8 to 7.0 Western Isles 11.2 to 0.0 Orkney Island 0.0 to 0.0

Anyone catch what that fuckwit Leitch said on Clyde 1? I had a look on Twitter but all I can see is that he said something along the lines of “look what happened in France when they opened up too soon”. Now if he’s actually comparing us with France then he’s stooped even lower than I thought was possible. A nation that has written off a vaccine that works and is dealing with the consequences of that is not in anyway shape or form similar to us.

Thanks so much for this. My mum is currently in hospital due to myeloma and now at stage of palliative care (she was really touch and go from Sunday through to last night). I know we're now at the days/weeks stage rather than months/years but me, my dad and my partner have been given approval to drop in and see her in her room in the ward as there is currently no guarantee she'll come home. My dad is her primary carer but I've also been providing a bit over the last few days since she went downhill and wasn't aware of this. I've now registered and have been approved for my vaccine appointment to follow. Sincerely, thanks for making me aware of this.

Scotland fans waving to #ZeroCovid nutjobs as they cross the border on June 18th

See all this chat about a possible underestimation of folk who have been changed by this and actually don't want normal back, thats all well and good. The should be free to do so. The issue remains, normal is being prohibited by actual laws. GET IT OUT OF FUCKING LAW AND LET FOLK CHOOSE!

It must be incredibly infuriating the scientists who created the vaccine which is performing better than probably even they could have hoped for, yet we have absolute roasters like Devi Sridhar blatantly lying about how good it is to try and keep herself even remotely relevant that bit longer.

If you think I'm going to waste a couple of my hours watching to an interview with an Aberdeen chairman, just so I can mock you for something, then you're absolutely fucking correct. I shall comment at the weekend.

Why even go searching for what he said. Really not getting why people are actively seeking for every word he utters when they know it's going to annoy them. Seems counter productive that you would actually go looking for something you know is going to enrage you. Don't get that at all. Yup, what a mug's game searching for what the National Clinical Director is saying about the pandemic, while political leaders are obliged to keep their mouths shut and people are banned by law from travelling ten miles from their house for utterly pointless weeks because of *checks notes* the National Clinical Director and his fellow clownshoe contingent.

AZ especially who have done something astounding, pledged to sell it for cost and have still been caught in the middle of all manner of shit slinging

If folk are sceptic over returning to even a 'new normal' then that's absolutely fine. They can choose to be like that. However that should not in any way impact the ability of my mates and I to go to the football, have a game of fives or spontaneously decide to go for a night in the pub or snooker hall. When the vulnerable groups have all been vaccinated and thus Covid has been reduced to something that will affect the country no more than a bad cold / flu season would then all restrictions should be lifted.

Francesco Totti & Bear Grylls

Can we all stop for a moment to collectively thank Arsenal Football Club for using some EPL-level pocket change to meet Celtic’s ransom demands thus rescuing, rehoming and rehabilitating Kieron Tierney after several years of being physically broken and neglected in the east end of Glasgow? We can? Ok. Thank you Arsenal.

You have to take your hats off to they pfizer c***s. Were 1st out the traps with the rollout of the vaccines and it just seems to be good news after good news coming from it’s effects. 11 months to come up with a vaccine that is essentially pissing on this virus at every opportunity is just truly remarkable.

"Long Covid" is the classic go to whenever things are going well. Variants were tried - busted flush - so back to Long Covid now to justify the elongated exit along the roadmap. Not because of any conspiracy, but because there is no point now in saying "lol everything we've done probably made little difference" Reckon we are mere months away from a number of experts being chucked under the bus in the greatest display of face saving and track covering ever witnessed. The antics of the likes of Sridhar and Leitch would make this incredibly easy.

I think this is the first time Ive responded to you. So, take a seat a listen. You post twitter everyday on here, where there is around 3% of the population following, less if if you include the rest of the world. Sure you can post, however, you extra comments have been childish to say the least. I'm sure the guy that ways to go out and live free, I'm the same. I'm also guy that does post shite everyday and expect everyone to agree. I know for one think after this shiteshow, you will move on to one or another to post your fury....good luck in life fighting the internet. You would shite yourself if you ever out with my me. Don't worry I'll wipe yer arse qnd we get on it again. Take care of the people you love and love the people you don't know more.

If clinically vulnerable people are happy to wait for both doses then that's up to them really. There is a non-zero risk involved in that scenario so I wouldn't push too hard either way tbh. The idea that the whole of society must tread water until people with no proven vulnerability also feel okay about social activity resuming is not happening though. Eventually they'll just get tired of their curtain-twitching reality being completely dinghied by the majority who can cope with an insignificant risk and readjust again.

I've said it before, but the world really was a better place when I'd never heard of Mark Drakeford. A depressing drip of a man.

You put your exclamation upside down.

There hasn't been nearly enough fanfare or appreciation of them and it'll only be once we can properly take stock that it'll kick in how astonishing the advances and achievements have been. As is often the case in life, the ones more interested in getting themselves noticed and who shout the loudest get the high praise, rather than those who get their heads down and do the actual work behind the scenes.

The ONS using a Hypochondriac's Charter of self-reporting drivel to produce 'statistical data' on 'long Covid' here. Fit for the bin and nowhere else.

Former East Region Juniors have welcomed proposals for a new county of East Lanarkshire and have sent applications to join the WoSL OK, I know but we've got to have something for 1 April

What a boring little c**t you are

First tea outside for the year and they made sure they weren’t missing out.

Is Devi still giving Twitter a wide berth?

If I won the Euromillions I would destroy all traces of cricket in Scotland.

I've just finished work and opened my first can, I'm off until Tuesday, the sun is out and the only thing thats pish about today is I need to watch the game from my couch. I honestly can't wait until we're back at grounds.

Good one M8.

I remember Dennis having to get his bog unblocked when he was on our wing a few years back. His thanks to Officer with the plunger was, "where were you twenty years ago, Guv?"

Ten for Thursday. Guessed the right Roman for a change, and went with instinct on Poppins.

At this time of year we must take a moment to remember the tragic passing of the Grauniad Daily Quiz, cruelly struck down on April Fool's Day so you weren't sure if it was a joke until the day after when a new edition failed to appear. The b*****ds. GBNF, thoughts and prayers, forever in our hearts, etc. I never did score a ten. Or a nine, come to think of it. Back to the present, nine for Thursday. Was relatively confident on Mary Poppins, no idea with the Italian sportsperson and knew the rest. I would like more Roman Emperor questions, please. As an addendum to this already self-indulgent insomniac post, I've had my first jab/jag @SlipperyP.

I think ODonnell has been fine on the whole for Scotland. He's not, and never will be, a world beater. But the guy works his arse off up and down the pitch all game. He's had bad games and made mistakes but so has the two world class players we have on the other side. He's also a big handsome b*****d.

Indeed. And admirably you don’t see, for the most part, the same levels of nauseating self promotion from these scientists as you do from the Public Health and Independent SAGE types.

On here a lot of fuss has been created around boundaries. This potential Midland League isn't a competitior in the same way that the East Region would have been. It doesn't have the same conflict. What would happen is no different than what played out between the WoSFL and EoSFL. Applicants would be directed to either league based on the boundary (instead of council areas, most likely the HL/LL boundary in the SPFL Play-off). Existing members from the league being allowed to remain where they are or switch if an agreement exists between the leagues.

I would like to thank all the fans for their support this season, and I am very sorry that we couldn't give them a reason to cheer. The whole squad has been released on free transfers with immediate effect.

Hell no, they should be kept well clear of the LL or any other part of the pyramid...

All for people starting to take personal responsibility now. We can't have lockdown and restrictions being normalised because some people are anxious about going out and about. If people feel they are fit and healthy enough, they should be free to go and enjoy the things that make life worth living. If you are still concerned about being vulnerable, even after the vaccination, then that is your prerogative but it cannot be an excuse for restrictions to carry on for the rest of us. Undoubtedly there are hypochondriacs, but a lot of people have been subjected to fear-inducing messages from MSM and governments alike, and we are now reaping what they have sown. This is the problem with the constant bombardment of bad news, and the media lining up scientists with increasing dour forecasts for the future. It will take a pretty hefty shift in messaging from governments to encourage people to get back out there, and I don't think that's something governments want to do for fear for being seen to make a mistake.

On a serious note, 19 clubs have applied to the EoS. SGM on 29th April.

twitter.com/CumnockJnrsFC/status/1377539024840167427 Cumnock Juniors FC @CumnockJnrsFC The club have received confirmation from the SFA Licensing Board that we have met all criteria required to obtain our SFA Licence 9:31 am · 1 Apr 2021·Twitter for iPhone

A management team isn't the same as joint managers. You're comparing two different things. Clough was Number 1. Taylor was Number 2, albeit one held in very high regard by Clough, but still a Number 2.

Having seen the Welsh First Minister saying this morning he thing social distancing will be needed for the rest of the calendar year the wife started agreeing and saying it's only normal as 'we could all get it as the vaccine isn't 100% effective. Even after trying to remind her that no vaccine is and this one seems more effective than normal, most folks will be vaccinated by late Summer and hospital and ICU rates are dropping she was adamant that there was a need for things to be retained for the whole year. I would understand if folks have an optional mask wearing policy for public transport/ certain places but no need for it to be mandatory in any way once the vaccination programme is completed. Even on the subject of international travel i don't think she'll leave here till the whole planet has a vaccination...really not thinking straight and the media messaging has really impacted her. ....its going to be a long 2021 in this house...

Not gonna lie - if you had told me at the end of the 2016/17 relegation season that only a few years later both Kevin Nisbet and Scott McKenna would be playing for Scotland together in a World Cup Qualifier win at Hampden a few months before possibly appearing in a major finals I would have been a bit sceptical. But there you go.

Well that was a complete and utter humiliation. My only solace is that fans couldn't be at the ground meaning we weren't subjected to the taunting and cajoling that we would've rightly deserved on the back of that. First of all what a well coached side Rovers are. I think it was fairly obvious the critical difference between the 4-1 game at EEP and last night's was that Hendry was playing. I was quite surprised he didn't get man of the match but then the Vaughan narrative makes sense. I've watched a few Rovers games this season and in the one's in which they have lost Hendry's role in the game has been diminished - saying that a lot of the games I have watched involving Rovers have been midweek! In terms of the Pars I think Stevie tinkered with the starting 11 from the Dundee game far too much. I felt Henderson was needed in the midfield alongside with Wilson and Banks in for Fraser Murray. A brand new central midfield pairing against one of the slickest midfields in the league was a big risk and it showed. I could understand why he changed the shape mid way through the 1st half but switching to a back 3, a formation we haven't used at any point this season, screamed of desperation. Players weren't tight and I think they were just completely perplexed at what their roles were. Surely if Crawford wanted to tighten the midfield and starve the flow of the ball to Hendry, we would've switched to a 4411 - a formation of which we are used to and allows us to be 'stuffy' if unspectacular when necessary. The 2nd half subs will rightly be thrown at Crawford but to be honest the game was done once he had committed to the formation change. Credit to Gullan for his 2nd goal - great pick out when you consider the complete lack of composure from Murray seconds before! I was expecting to see today that that was Crawford out today but the longer the day has gone in it looks as though we are sticking with. I can only see this going the same way as the season we dovetailed and were lucky to avoid the relegation play offs due to some good early season form. Our form seems to replicate that of an iffy winger - about 1 good game in 10 and that has been quite a common theme of Crawford's time in charge. Time for a change.... Rovers will make the play offs for sure and if they can play to last nights standards, and find a plan b when playing poorly, they have a good chance going up. It would be somewhat poetic if they did relegate John Hughes Ross County!