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Anniversary of this incredible post before we reminiscence about Big John relegating them tomorrow. #karma

Of course there is, the vast majority of them will be Rangers fans and/or Unionists.

There we go, there's the post in question. Why can't admin find it, well erm because we all have jobs and don't have hours to traipse through a plethora of posts when the complainee doesn't even know where or when it was posted. Incidentally it was in the lockdown achievement thread, not the covid thread or the fitness thread, it wasn't last summer it was last Spring. The report was on the 8th of April and it was dealt with by a moderator who hid the post. As you can see if you want to go to that thread you and others were posting various pieces of gym equipment and people were commenting in it. SW posted what is above. His reply was hidden by a mod with nil further action taken. I didn't deal with it but in my opinion no way is SW suggesting that you go hang yourself. Is it in poor taste, yes, is it gallows humour, yes. Is it directed at you, I wouldn't say so No. Thank you.

She's one to talk

West Calder statement on FB CLUB ANNOUNCEMENT The club are happy to announce that we have applied for membership of the East Of Scotland Football League starting from season 2021/2022 to move the club forward into the Senior ranks of the SFA pyramid system ,we have played in the Scottish Junior Football Association since 1950 with this decision not taken lightly ,we will keep everyone updated on our application.

Literally nobody gives a f**k anymore.

There are plenty of people out there following the rules exactly to the letter, and this change will bring a great relief to them. That's enough to make it worth doing. You've got to remember that some folk will have been absolutely broken by this, genuinely terrified by the messaging that came out at the start and therefore being worried about even activities that most people have now accepted as being pretty safe (such as small outdoor meetings).

To be fair, who knows more about how not to lead Scotland than Craig Levein?

Looked up "gammon (insult)" in the Oxford Dictionary. It's a bit long winded but here's how they describe it...

I'll certainly never to go a nightclub again after this is all over. But that's because I'm 40 and have no business going to nightclubs.

This'll be my last word on this you'll be pleased to hear. Thanks to all those who showed support. I won't go in to all the posts to dissect them, but I think this one shows up the degree of inaccurate recall used to inform the posts made. The posts are 12 hours apart. I'll leave to others to judge the degree or directness of any offence.

It's literally not "a completely different virus": HIV is a "completely different virus". This sort of imprecise drivel public messaging is only going to scare people into thinking that their vaccinations will no longer work and needs stomped on before we end up in a German-style mess of our own making.

That’s the palace released a statement regarding D.A.F.C.

^^^Doesn't go to football.

That was probably me.

It's certainly my starting position.

I fully expect some backlash for my opinion however why sack McInnes if you plan to hire Glass. His managerial record as both Atlanta's reserve side and interim manager is exceptionally poor. He's at the level of Steve Paterson and Mark McGhee to name a few shocking Aberdeen managers of the past. Thats not the type appointment that going to increase season ticket sales. Are we genuinely trying to revert back to bottom six football? Is this a cost cutting exercise during the pandemic? Steve Robinson would be a considerably better appointment then Glass. We currently hold the most attractive managerial position outside the OF. Obviously its a premature reaction but I'll be absolutely gutted along with being utterly bemused if Glass appears in the Aberdeen dugout. Would be a complete lack of ambition.

^^^ H

The way some people go on, you’d think the money came personally from the big bank of Rishi Sunak - man of the people. A hedge fund manager who married into one of the richest families on the planet and doesn’t give one f**k about the working class. He was fully insistent on ending the furlough scheme, completely against the wishes of the devolved nations, until shit hit the fan down south and it was needed in London.

Absolutely delighted we've emptied him tbqh. He kind of kept a lid on things a bit when he initially replaced Craigan and he did one really good interview with the MFC Podcast that made him seem a bit less cuntish but recently...fucking hell. Shortly before he got the Reserves gig with us he did an Open Goal with Si Ferry and his staunchness was uncomfortably apparent. IIRC he was talking up John Brown as having been an influence on him which, let's be honest, should be enough to get you on a list.

Hi guys, just going to let you know where we are with regards to changing rooms. The current changing rooms as you say are in the school but we’ve been working since December to have changing rooms and public toilets adjacent to the pitch. This would probably have been done by now in normal times but unfortunately like so much else in the world Covid has held things up a bit. We are still confident we will have these in place for the start of pre season. Even if there was potential flexibility with the rule on this one it’s not ideal for us and our opponents to have to go back to the school at half time so we’re working hard to make sure this isn’t the case. Cheers, Sean

Fraser is only 26, he seems to have been around for a long time. I would offer him a 2 year contract.

Yes, the point being that the reason for restrictions was to stop the NHS being overwhelmed, not to avoid Covid deaths. The fact we are now on this ‘no Covid deaths’ path instead is not acceptable, and we shouldn’t just shrug our shoulders and accept it.

Have you consulted the majority? Clubs at the beginning of the season knew this could happen, the league can’t just declare it null and void because some can’t be bothered. they’ve provided a logical plan based on the current, very fluid, situation and minimal information

He's obviously got a day job protecting folk and then moonlights as a freelance murderer.

I'd be embarrassed if we celebrated winning this league.

She's been trying to emulate her idol Jacinda Ardern for months, but has failed to notice that JA herself has planned to abandon #ZeroCovid once enough of her country is vaccinated. Or she thinks people are too stupid to find out information from sources other than the SG daily briefings, and therefore won't have noticed.

They just keep saying these words, that are actually utterly meaningless without clarifying what it is they want and how they will achieve it, and unachievable anyway with an open border to differing restrictions. Zero that doesnt mean zero, minimise, eradicate, eliminate, drive it down bla bla bla. Keeping saying these words, these either being corrected by those who know, or having to offer up further clarity that it doesnt actually mean what everyone assumes it means when you said it really doesnt help...... well anything about this recovery. Said before, but with the caveat that a drastic uptick in admissions would be a concern, the news and updates now should be filled with vaccine encouragement/info, and plans for recovery and normality.

582 hospital cases. Down from 614. ICU unchanged at 50

That's my Kenneth Williams cherry burst. Feel dirty

I think it’ll take years for some people to fully recover from lockdown.

Are you still talking about @Sergeant Wilson here?

Getting strong 'banter years' vibes from this latest abrupt and inexplicable change of events.

I always thought he came across as an absolute weapon tbh

'The stock market is a device for transferring money from the impatient to the patient' - Warren Buffet.

Leisure Suit Larry Pumpy pumpy rapey

Lol "I hope that before too long, in some competition or another, fans will be able to be in Somerset Park to watch Ayr United beat Killie" Nicola Sturgeon says in response to Kilmarnock MSP Willie Coffey

Daily Cases Update: Another slight rise while the rest of the UK declines ! Clackmannanshire is off limits apart from Bible holding Rangers supporters. Only Falkirk of the top 5 showing any sign of declines. Very little movement apart from the crossover in Dunbartonshire. No new Cigars today. Scotland peaked at 301.9 for figures 29th Dec to 4th Jan, Cases that day were 16,496 and test rate was 11.9% Total Cases 7 days from 1st March to 7th March were 3,476 now 3,485 now up 0.03%. Positivity was 3.2% and still 3.2% Cases per 100k were 63.6 now 63.8 Home Nations Daily update: England 66.0 to 62.8 down 4.85% . Wales 46.1 to 45.2 down 1.95% , Northern Ireland 69.7 to 65.9 down 5.45% UK Average 65.1 to 62.2 down 4.46% NHS Progress Forth Valley 129.8, Lanarkshire 94.6, Greater Glasgow 85.9 the rest all under Scottish average. European (Above 2 Million Population) Shockers: Czech 797, Serbia 385, Hungary 366, Slovakia 272, Sweden 268. Council progress in last 24 Hours as follows. Click cases by neighbourhood to see the spread on the geographical map. https://public.tableau.com/profile/phs.covid.19#!/vizhome/COVID-19DailyDashboard_15960160643010/Overview The Bad boys club Over 100 Cartel Clackmannanshire 145.5 to 166.9 Up 14.71% FFS Get a grip Clackmannan, Kennet & Forestmill at 789.7 Stirling 122.1 to 125.3 Braehead at 604.1 Falkirk 125.6 to 120.6 Down near 4% Glasgow City 113.2 to 113.6 North Lanarkshire 107.8 to 110.1 Under 100 Club West Lothian 104.9 to 99.4 East Renfrewshire 93.2 to 98.4 Poor 24 hours North Ayrshire 86.1 to 86.8 South Lanarkshire 78.6 to 78.0 Dundee City 67.0 to 67.0 Renfrewshire 65.9 to 64.2 Under Scottish Average club 63.8 Western Isles 71.1 to 63.6 East Ayrshire 55.7 to 59.0 Midlothian 60.6 to 54.1 Very good 10% drop Angus 49.1 to 52.5 hamlets back in the packet East Lothian 55.1 to 50.4 Very nice 8.5% drop Hamlet & a Beer club Sub 50.0 Fife 42.6 to 44.2 Perth & Kinross 38.2 to 40.8 Highlands 36.5 to 40.7 City Of Edinburgh 42.1 to 40.4 East Dunbartonshire 39.6 to 37.7 Aberdeen City 32.8 to 32.8 West Dunbartonshire 40.5 to 32.6 Astonishing run past it's neighbour down another 19.50% Moray 33.4 to 31.3 South Ayrshire 19.5 to 30.2 Back on the cheap fags gents Havana & Malt Whisky club Sub 30.0 Aberdeenshire 22.6 to 23.0 Scottish Borders 22.5 to 20.8 Inverclyde 21.9 to 20.6 Dumfries & Galloway 14.8 to 15.5 Argyll & Bute 10.5 to 9.3 Shetland Islands 4.4 to 4.4 Orkney Island 0.0 to 0.0

Normally I would condemn mindless vandalism but if you spray an extra R next to the first R that might be acceptable.

They run off the pitch at the first sign of rain in cricket. Hardly a sport to learn anything from.

Textbook gammon.

Good to see folk in supermarkets are still being absolutely mental. I had to nip into one yesterday to get some stuff for tea, the OH also asked me to get a birthday card for one of her pals. So I head to the aisle to find the funniest £1.50 mildly amusing card available, which is blocked by some woman on the end taking an interest in ribbons or whatever the f**k, and taking absolutely no interest in moving. Naturally I said "excuse me" and went to pass her, upon which she shouts "NO!!!!" and starts waving her arms about to stop me passing her. Absolute nutcase. We were both wearing masks and I passed her in about a second. Perhaps my response of "Don't block the fucking aisle then" was a bit OTT, but Jesus fucking Christ people are wild.

I'm not a great fan of Kevin Bloody Wilson, but one of his gags made me laugh. He was sitting enjoying a steak in a mall food court when the seat opposite was taken by a larger lady* who proceeded to get stuck into a big bowl of greenery, all the time glaring across at the bold Kevin. Eventually she can't contain herself, and demands: "Do you know how that animal died?" "Yep, you fucking starved it to death." *Not quite how he described her - part of the description was "looked like she'd fallen face first in some cùnt's tackle box".

Now the completely made up 10 in a row thing is over, we never have to mention it again. Why on earth is there another thread about it.

Hi mate, just going to try and answer some of the questions raised. The current changing rooms as you say are in the school but we’ve been working since December to have changing rooms and public toilets adjacent to the pitch. This would probably have been done by now in normal times but unfortunately like so much else in the world Covid has held things up a bit. We are still confident we will have these in place for the start of pre season. Even if there was potential flexibility with the rule on this one it’s not ideal for us and our opponents to have to go back to the school at half time so we’re working hard to make sure this isn’t the case. Obviously I’m not 100 percent on the clubs mentioned situations with their grounds but I think our arrangement will be a similar one to theirs. Apologies if I’m wrong here but both those grounds are owned by the council and they are on long term lease arrangements, we’ll be similar. Just the final one about the support. This will be our 25th season as a club. We have a group of faithful supporters who follow us home and away already. We won’t be looking to steal any supporters from any other clubs. Again, I’m not sure about other local teams supports but we don’t want to be stealing or harming anything to do with the other clubs. We have very good relationships with all the local teams and a massive amount of respect for them all. All the points raised above are legitimate and fair questions, I hope I have answered them as well as possible. Cheers, Sean

These statements.... These social media accounts..... By/on behalf of fucking sports teams Absolute fucking psychopaths. Everyone associated with both clubs.

Washing your hands is not a restriction - what it might do though is for there to be better hand-cleaning facilities. Lost track of the number of football grounds with no running water, freezing water, empty soap dispensers or no way to dry your hands. It's like a throwback to the worst pubs in a bygone era.

Running celtics Twitter account.

Someone sitting in their pants awaiting Susanna Reid on screen is probably the perfect encapsulation of P&B.