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Here you go mate.

St Johnstone have just announced that they will be wearing their newly registered third kit for Saturday's match

In the supermarket the other day I changed the habit of a lifetime by abandoning my usual tea brand of Tetley in favour of a box of PG Tips. I'm not entirely sure why I did this, but I may have been nostagically reminiscing about about the antics of those hapless chimps on the adverts of years ago; I don't think they ever managed to get that piano shifted. Another aspect to this is the fact that I would be treated to a technologically superior brew due to their use of pyramid shaped teabags. Giddy with anticipation I opened the pack, pulled out a teabag and regarded its distinguished design. You can imagine my ire and disappointment when I realised that it had a triangular rather than square base and was therefore a tetrahedron rather than a pyramid. I firstly vowed never to buy anything off the back of a chimpanzee's recommendation again. That had happened once too often now for my liking. Secondly I thought I'd compose a stern email to PG Tips, the utter charlatans. Fortunately before doing so I consulted the internet and in doing so found out that pyramid can have any number of different shapes as a base, triangles, hexagons, decagons, you name it, it can be done. Feeling somewhat appeased I calmed down and had a cup of tea, which for the record was fairly decent. tl;dr pyramids can be different shapes.

Had a cracking blether with Thomas Collins last night. Should be up on EFtv in the next couple of days. Now I know how to record zoom chats hopefully I’ll get a few more interviews done before the players get back to training.

Still at large. Can we take a moment to revisit that statement?

Hearts should arrange to pay 38 instalments of £65.80 and not bother paying the last 8

Absolutely flabbergasted at religion sticking up for a paedo.

It literally is that simple. If you don't support indepence then you support the Union. You're supporting the status quo. It could easily be worse. It could easily be better. It could easily be slightly different. The difference is we'd be governed by the party the majority of our country voted for. It's really that simple.

Only an utter fucking idiot could consider being fined a success. I presume they also assume being stood up is a good date, pissing themselves a good way to go to the toilet and falling down stairs a good way to exit a building.

Jesus suffering f**k.

I'm not a regulated financial adviser or qualified in personal finance, but all that same I've watched Scottish football for more than 4 decades. Don't do that.

I've been catching up on the SQA chat posted here since Tuesday. VT's language can be a bit OTT at times. I've got to say though, that his analysis is actually spot on. Too many teachers have made an arse of it.

I’m quite bitter about the fact that the city has all this money and yet has still managed to remain a complete shithole. It’s like when someone wins the lottery and has no clue how to spend it. That’s Aberdeen. With a shite accent.

Surely just not being a nonce, is a basic requirement that could be expected.

From East Super League and chat of a Junior Superleague at Tier 5 to a Dundee & District league in a few short years. Well done everyone.

As stupid as it was, this photo can't be seen as damning evidence. They're all training and playing together and in the same bubble, and there's no one else within 2m.

The worst thing about this is that those fucking charlatans think it's acceptable to go out and enjoy themselves after having their fucking belly tickled by the **** earlier that day. f**k the lot of them in the bin. Unless they're worth a transfer fee.

If all those players have had a nice night out after the total no show against Rangers, then I hope the c***s got a dose of chlamydia as well. We’re absolutely winning this game if it goes ahead though.

Protocols. Players are expected to admit if they believe they could have been exposed to the virus. If they believe they've been exposed in a "high risk" environment, the player is to self isolate until hes tested. Any Aberdeen player who didn't admit to being at a pub, without social distancing, will have breached protocol, as theres clearly a chance they were "exposed to the virus" in a high risk environment.

That they were built by Mayans, Aztecs, other Mexicans and Chinese.

In 1938, political parties had been abolished in Germany, the Night of the Long Knives political purge was no longer news, but actual history, the Nuremberg Laws had been introduced to segregate and dehumanize the Jewish population of Germany, concentration camps had been around for five years, Austria had been annexed, and Germany was currently helping Francos fascist military takeover of Spain, not only through normal warfare, but by doing the atrocious dirty work of bombing civilian towns, such as, famously, Guernica. Even a horrendous, racist, reactionary old turd like Winston Churchill was appalled. The 1936 Olympics were famous back then because of the various controversies about Nazi racism and treatment of Jews, and, far from 'nobody' thinking there was anything dodgy about this regime, there was considerable public controversy, and (admittedly mostly unsuccessful) calls for a boycott. Those people who accepted the Nazi Party at this time weren't innocently giving an unknown quantity the benefit of the doubt, they were knowingly dealing with an atrocious, violent, thuggish regime. And of course, Edward VIII, who was teaching Queen Liz the Nazi salute back in 1933/34, was far from innocent himself - after the war, Nazi files were dug up where agents reported him advocating for heavy bombing of the British people so that the government would sue for peace. It would have been fun to read about the c**t being executed for treason in the history books, but they shipped him off to the Bahamas just in time. Oh well...

No doubt this post will get red-dotted by multiple people who think I stick up for the board on here, but my understanding is that the delay had nothing to do with them. Their only roles are to approve the financial expenditure, negotiate with the agent representing a player and then tell their mates as quickly as they possibly can afterwards. Which is why everything gets out. Albeit parts 2 and 3 aren't applicable to the whole board. I believe the delay was entirely down to his previous club. My sources for that are Aidan Keena himself and our football administrator, whose job it is to know the nuts and bolts of the transfer process. Sorry Bairnado, but it's not true.

Well done the authorities [emoji106] Hope our club deal with the players appropriately. Let down every fan, particularly those who stretched financially to help the club. AFC statement tonight was followed by an advert to join AberDNA. A fucking shambles all round.

Last time I start a match thread if this is what happens...

Aberdeen have survived in this league on far flimsier pretexts. It’s time to throw the book at them. Hiding behind the fact Stranraer don’t have regulation shower heads and therefore can’t take their place in the top flight won’t save them this time.

Hummel Beazer Homes one is well up there. A beautiful strip. I have the retro re-release of it (non hummel) as the only football strip I own. However...……. Richie Cadette in the yellow Matchwinner kit for me please

The problem I've got with the Daily Record website is that you end up at the Daily Record website.

She really is a hopeless, corpulent arsehole [emoji23]

I know it's been said a few times, but I cannot stress enough how excited I am about the possibility of live televised debates between these two mush-brained old duffers. There's not a PR team or Campaign Manager alive that can stop dementia riddled rants when the cameras are live. It could be, nae, will be, utterly astonishing TV. The Presidency itself will obviously be neo-con horror for all whichever of them gets in. Is it worth four years of that to see "and I tied an onion to my belt, which was the fashion at the time" muttered by the future President on live TV? For me, yes.

Coward's move to signal sarcasm. Give everyone a chance to misinterpret your tone and have a head's gone.

Worry no more friends, my interview with Denny Johnstone is online now too. https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/dumbarton-new-boy-denny-johnstone-22475164 I really would appreciate it if you could drop as many clicks, likes, shares and whatevers onto any Lennox related DFC stuff. Ideally it's how I want to spend most of my time, but obviously that needs to be justified to my editor by it performing well - and online is the only real way we can gauge that. Some of it performs very well (especially on Twitter) and others totally flop - so give my figures a nice wee boost and I will be forever grateful.

People are fucking arseholes and Aberdeen is a place full of them.

"I'm a lawyer, so I'm used to form-filling and small print. But with these, it's so difficult to understand.” Fucking hell.

Sorry to tell you all that no league tables today. I'm making flowers for the local children (teachers day) to give to the teachers. I agreed to this last month, thinking they would forget.....all day doing this... I'm not a monster all the time! In between killing people and animals, I do have soft touch.

[emoji651]️[emoji651]️ Never been north of Stirling in his puff.

"Andrew Albert Christian Edward Mountbatten-Windsor, you stand accused of multiple counts of paedophilia. What do you have to say in your defence?" "Well, I'm not a superhuman saint." "Fair enough, case dismissed." Wow. Just fucking wow.

Delighted for you and it’ll give the moon a well earned break. No, I can’t see young lads in Asia running around wearing retro ‘Albertz 11’ tops but then at no point did I say I could.

20 seconds of hand washing would sort that out.

Thursday

Fair play to the folks that make content like this.

I try not to fall for the cliched stuff players say when they join clubs as we've seen so many come and go after doing so, but seeing Sam Wardrop say "I love this club" gets me all kinds of moist.

Yes The first Political Party who propose banning all Social Media will probably get my vote

Ten for Thursday, even if the answer to number eight is, to be pedantic, "nobody". I get snarky with lazy question-setting like that - but I'll give Tynie a pass on his play-off faux pas because I didn't have a clue, and still don't.

The knight who wore his sword too close - Sir Cumcision.

Reminds me of the time someone on here posted that Rangers were interested in signing the Croatian striker Ivica Olic, but withdrew their interest when they found out about his wife, Cath.

They did sign Nacho Novo though.

The Germans played Scotland at Ibrox in 1936. The Scottish team were asked to perform the nazi salute during the anthems, but refused. The Germans lined up opposite the main stand and performed the salute to "loud applause", turned and saluted the opposite side, and again repeated the salute during both national anthems. 2 people were arrested at halftime for an anti nazi protest. Obviously, nowadays, nazi salutes are more common in the Ibrox stands than on the pitch.