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Stop pontificating about it using tired cliches then. I'm usually posting with my tongue in cheek but I mean this sincerely - it's complete fucking idiots like you that have landed the UK in the state it's in, with an incompetent brainless government who don't have to be accountable. You freely admit you have no knowledge on the subject but you have strong opinions and will quite happily post a lot of shite and argue with those who have actually done some research. When people try to ask you questions or challenge your uneducated bollocks you refuse to take anything on board, double down and then post some drivel about being tired to try and shut down the conversation. Democracy is a good thing but it frustrates me that you get as many votes as someone with more than 16 brain cells.

This is absolute shenanigans. I'm no fan if Corbyn but there was nothing to suggest that he would have led the UK into a Venezuelan style collapse. That's extremist nonsense of the kind you claim to hate. There is nothing worse than people like yourself who voted tory coming out with rubbish like that whilst claiming to have been "sensible" - thanks to your sensible actions we have a lying, incompetent, racist in charge who, thanks to a complete failure of leadership has taken the UK to a heartbreaking death toll. Own your vote. You knew they were ill prepared, selfish incompetent. Don't pretend it was some sort of pragmatic vote. Your vote contributed to this.

I once travelled to a medieval castle to get my eyesight checked. I had 1320 vision.

Im going to drink a bottle of vodka and then drive 30 miles just to check that im drunk

What a world we live in where Prince Andrew saying he can't sweat because of a war might not be the worst excuse we've heard this year.

Latest and probably last edition to my clan, from me anyway, arrived a month early.

NO FUCKING WAY

The English.

Fucking hell, get us independence from these useless cunts immediately.

Arrogant, deluded, sneering and nasty bullshit from massive moron Gordon Strachan; https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/52797428 What a p***k. Includes obligatory meaningless reference to English football too.

At my father's house we wore an onion on our belt, because that was the style at the time. Not those white onions though. All we had were those big yellow ones

How are you c***s still going on about this. We're nearly into June and players can't even fucking train yet. Dozens of players have been released because clubs don't have any money because we've had to shut down football. Half the clubs in the country would be lucky to be able to field a matchday squad even if they were able to train and play, which they can't. At what point is the penny going to drop that there wasn't another option but to call the league. All this was fucking obvious months ago.

I gave the lead tonight at a by-phone AA meeting at the treatment centre I was in back in January

Give me a reason that not every one of you is a c**t now please. I’m eager to hear.

Can he really be blamed for wanting to go to Durham? It's one of the Pink Panther's favourite places. Durham Durham Durham Durham Durham Durham Durham

Why is argument repeated so frequently, as if it's self-evident? What's the logic behind this? How much does a Brechin City suck out of the League's coffers each year? £16,000? You could pay 24 clubs that amount every season and still not match Neil Doncaster's salary. How much does Brechin City contribute in return? And by that I don't mean producing players for big teams (Strachan's sole criterion). I mean in in an afternoon's entertainment, in decent away days, in local employment, in raising local identity and community cohesion? All in all it qualifies as pretty good value. Anyway, he's got some nerve talking about value for money, when you think about what he was paid as Scotland manager to pontificate about genetics.

I'd say that the team bringing through the last Scottish player to win the Champions League being Queen's Park negates quite a bit of his argument there. There's absolutely nothing wrong with teams being semi professional. He's talking about England and the national league. That's the clubs 93rd to 112th in their football. Adjust Scotlands population for England and the sides at the bottom of our leagues would be 400th or so in their pyramid. Are the sides at that level professional to the extent he's talking about in England, I don't think so. They're at a much much lower level than the Scottish ones playing wise, and their crowds are worse. Us existing next to England fucking warps people's brains.

We can't be too far away from Paul Gascoigne turning up at Downing Street with a fishing rod, four cans of lager and some chicken.

I'm hearing he's going to announce himself as the country's official political leader, while flanked by Army Generals, Captain Tom and Tony Bellew.

I said chippy

I despair when people compare those on the left with those on the right. Diane abbot is a bit thick, and has probably risen higher than she should in terms of actual ability. But her heart is in the right place most of the time and she's hounded constantly. She's also never really harmed people in any great way. These fuckers are much more dangerous. Their world view fucks over poor people, and they believe in a certain hierarchy of things. They're willing to use racism or xenophobia to win votes, and to hell with the wider consequences.

I wouldn't want you missing out on excitement like this.

His car gets 40 Rods to the Hogshead, and that's the way he likes it.

The wife has had a smartphone for a few years but keeps her sim in £20 handset because she prefers having buttons she can push. She uses her smartphone as a wee tablet in the house. She dropped her handset in the toilet the other day so had to put her sim in the smartphone. I pointed out that this meant she'd be able to get internet on it outside the house. She disagreed, because the wi fi is in the house. I explained that the contract i got her a phone on has mobile Internet so she can get the Internet anywhere. "so i can use anyone's wifi now?" She has bought another £20 handset. I think it's for the best.

Even if he does go, is anyone under any illusion that it would be anything other than a bit of symbolism to try and get everyone to shut the f**k up about it, and he'll just carry on as normal in the background?

Me and the #lads after a few cold ones down the local checking to see who is fit enough to drive home.

I’ve never uploaded that version before but luckily I still have it saved in a folder on the laptop so I’ve stuck it online for you now. It also includes Willie Gibson getting sent off which I don’t think Pars TV showed.

Cummings should not be making any statements. He’s a fucking employee. His political masters are accountable, he’s not.

My great grandfather could be in that picture, although i think it's ten years too early. He played for parkhouse and I've got a gold medal from 1897 for the Kilmarnock charity cup. He was offered a contract by Chelsea but didn't go because his wife didn't want to move. In those days he'd have been working in the factory during the week and then playing for the chelsea team on a Saturday.

Funny how so much about Brexit was the thing about being 'ruled over by unelected bureaucrats'..., and here we are with an unelected political operative with the Prime Minister in the palm of his hand.

That Hearts match was probably the first, but sadly not last, time that Gary Locke was booed down the Starks Park tunnel.

If bo and dom split up who gets custody of laura?

Haha yeah! Great to see that you've been so actively critical of the PM and Dominic Cummings (good mates, apparently) by posting f**k all about it, too. edit: Calderwood also ended up resigning in the end, by the way. Great to have a party of actual integrity like the SNP in charge of Scotland, isn't it Lex?

Our medal was in the hampden museum for a wee while, where they put this label on it. They don't make medals and trophies like they used to!

Scottish golf clubs open for play on Friday. Apparently Hearts fans will be denied the ability to play the final eight holes.

10 for Monday, in front of an empty stadium.

An announcement on season tickets will be made once the league set up and information has been confirmed by the SPFL. It would be unfair to announce anything until that time. We do know that many of our fans want to help the club, and many have already have by investing in the club through shares, or buy a grand national virtual horse and of course helping us with our supporters wall. We will bring you any news as soon as we can. Thanks for your support as always.

I work for Scottish Autism and none of the lads I support have been allowed any contact with their parents since lockdown. To say I am angry with what has been unfolding today is a slight understatement. Even if DCs kid is autistic it is highly unlikely they would have been able to make a 250 mile trip without multiple stops!

Exactly. One of the reasons people don’t engage with politics is that many events seem abstract. The impact COVID-19 has had, and is still having, is far from abstract. At best people have been significantly inconvenienced, at worst they’ve seen friends and relatives die and not even been able to mourn the losses properly. People will be angry; I only hope the anger doesn’t dissipate too quickly.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/may/24/no-dignity-no-future-boris-forsakes-leadership-to-protect-cummings Look on the bright side: at least we’ve had it confirmed who is actually running the country these days. And it isn’t the prime minister. Boris Johnson is no more than Dominic Cummings’s sock-puppet. A fairly shabby one at that. The reality is that without Classic Dom, there could be no Boris. All that Boris really amounts to is a parasitical ball of compromised ambition fuelled by a viral overload of neediness and cowardice. There is no substance or dignity left within the prime minister. His only instinct is his own survival. The equation was quite simple. If Dom was to be fired, then Boris would have to fire himself, because it is inconceivable that the ersatz prime minister didn’t know the de facto prime minister had broken the lockdown rules by doing a runner to Durham. But just in case Boris had been in any doubt, Dom had arrived at Downing Street four hours before the daily coronavirus press conference to remind him who was boss. There were to be no sackings and no resignations. Not yet anyway. There may be in the days to come. Not that Boris had actually wanted to front up the No 10 briefing. It was just that every other cabinet minister had phoned in to say they were self-isolating in their second homes. Or in Robert Jenrick’s case, his third home. Right from the off, Boris had looked rattled. The self-styled great communicator has lost the power of language and can now only talk in staccato bursts of incomprehensible Morse code. Even more disastrously, he is the populist politician who has lost track of the mood of the people. His survival skills have deserted him. The country is spitting blood at the arrogance of one rule for the elite and another for the rest, and Boris is totally oblivious. Breathless and pasty-faced, his eyes still bloodshot after his talking-to by Dom, Boris leapt to his boss’s defence. He hadn’t been able to throw a protective ring around care homes, but he sure as hell was going to throw one round Cummings. Classic Dom had done nothing wrong at all. In fact, he had done what any father would do and drive to his second home. Mostly because he was so short of friends that he had no one within a 260-mile radius who could leave food parcels for his child. Oddly, that was one of the few statements that sounded vaguely convincing. The rest of his opening remarks were incoherent drivel. Dom had driven the length of the country to escape the virus. Even though he was taking it with him in the car and almost certainly contracted it during the enclosed proximity to his wife. It was as though Boris thought the virus could only travel at 50 mph, so if Dom drove at 70mph up the M1, then he could outrun it. Dom had had no alternative. Indeed, if the de facto prime minister had a fault, it was that he loved his family too much. All those single mothers and workshy parents without second homes were basically heartless and uncaring for staying put and obeying the government advice on self-isolation. Dom: the man who loved too much. Boris then wittered on a bit about schools – mysteriously, he seemed to forget the dualling of the A66 that Grant Shapps had been so desperate to talk about during the morning media round – but all the questions concentrated on how and how often Dom had chosen to arbitrarily break the rules. Here Boris started to get sweaty and petulant. He was standing by Dom and that was that. He didn’t have to give a credible reason because he was the World King who wrote all the rules. Bizarrely, he even described Dom as responsible. Cummings won’t be at all happy about that. His whole self-image is based upon him being the great anti-establishment disruptor; the person to whom rules don’t apply. Not some establishment posh boy who toed the line at all times. God save the Queen! Her fascist regime. Then Boris was unwittingly making sure that both he and Dom had no future. The press conference he had hoped would draw a line under Dom’s midnight – no toilet or snack breaks – flits to his hideout merely served to ensure they would dominate the news agenda for weeks. Boris had had a chance to show genuine leadership and completely flunked it. He refused to answer any questions about whether he knew Dom had done a runner – just imagine Boris working from Downing Street imagining his host body was holed up in north London – or when he discovered that Dom was in Durham. Not because he didn’t know, but because he genuinely thought it didn’t matter. Boris is a true believer in his own exceptionalism, a trait that he graciously extends to those who are close to him. He genuinely doesn’t see a problem with not obeying a rule himself that he has asked the rest of the country to follow. So what if Dom and his family might have risked infecting a few dozen inconsequential little people? Sacrifice is what other, lesser people do. Nor was there even an attempt to answer the allegations about Dom’s other alleged extracurricular outings to Barnard Castle or the bluebell woods. In saving Dom – for the time being at least – Boris had tossed away the credibility of his own government. He has been stripped bare and exposed as not very bright, lacking in judgment and completely amoral. Within an hour, he had not only defended the indefensible, he had basically told the nation they were free to do as they please. If there is a second coronavirus peak, Boris will have even more blood on his hands. He’d even made Shapps’s TV appearances look vaguely statesmanlike. That bad. At a time of national crisis, we have a prime minister who makes Henry Kissinger look worthy of a Nobel peace prize. Satire is now dead.