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Donna better get baking then.

Aye mate I'm fine. Got sent home rapid as f**k. Doctor couldn't wait to get rid of me. Said it was a risk as I might have a blood clot but it was more of a risk to admit me. Up the road with antibiotics guessing chest infection and into my secure house. Got a mask out of it as well. Honestly when I walked in and they were clearly expecting me the staff looked at me like I was a fucking leper. Pretty much pressed up against the walls to let me past. Scrubbed themselves like f**k before they came in the room and after they left it. Looked like pretty robust and heartening procedures in place. Doctor told me that he would normally admit me, but despite the fact he didn't know if they had an infected person in the hospital, he thought it bes to G me TF out of there as quickly as possible. Staff were all incredibly sound and professional. Fair fucks to them

Yeah, we should make sure that everyone has a valid input into how to manage this, regardless of their qualification. You are certainly as valuable as anyone who has spent a lifetime studying contagion. After all, you read a letter in the Telegraph. I think we've all had enough of experts.

Well the result doesn't stand. What happens, say if the fog comes down when you are losing 2-1 away to Cowdenbeath, is that the game is declared void and is restarted at 0-0. Sometimes the team that was losing 2-1 wins the match 3-0 when it is re-staged and canters to a league title amidst tears and snotters from darkest Inverclyde.

Here are the results of the opening phase. @Rugster & @Bully Wee Villa get 7 to defeat @Salvo Montalbano @wastecoatwilly with 3. Salvo let down by WCW who has went incognito, stay safe m9. Well done the Highland Fawkirk fella and our fave mod. Salvo if you could do a bit of detective work and find out where your partner has went. @Ziggy & @SteelJag 0 ( both shat it imo) v @Cardinal Richelieu & @Jacksgranda with 1. It was actually seven for everyone's favourite elderly relative and the lazy cleric tit. I am not a big fan of Richaeliu, I'm a massive fan (ny) delete as appropriate. @Leeds Saint& @Snobot 7 v @peasy23 @SlipperyP 8 - Wow that was a close one, the new tables guru and the winter lover lose out to Junior footballs most sensible poster ( is that a compliment) and our permanently pished play off king. @Helpma & @Blootoon87 7 v @Arch Stanton & @Ross. 10 - oofft a sare yin for the hosts as they lose out to a fantastic performance for Arch and a helping hand from Ross, who survived some sniffles to help his team through, even though Arch scored enough on his own. This may surprise people but Ross lives in Andorra, he never mentions it. Helpma will be away to source some bevvy and Blootoon should go out in the toon. @The DA & @BigBo10 8 v @The Captain @gkneil 11 - expected more from the hosts but alas a fine performance from the visitors saw them through. The DA performing like his team of late and Big Bo oh no. Some solid teamwork though GK Neil the main main showing he is a safe pair of hands, that Captain is a right useless b*****d, only a week ago he lost my Euros's, a very untrustworthy individual. @Silky Si McFly @geaky 13 v @Adamski @CaspianChris 11 The highest total so far, geaky living up to his name and a good performance from Si, I've never met him but he must be a decent tolerant guy if he can have a twat like the Cardinal as a friend. Unlucky the Taysiders, maybe a merger wasn't the best plan, Dungpee Ushited on this evidence would be the name. Unlucky lads @Moomintroll @mathematics 14 an impressive score for Ayrshire's finest v @German Jag & @The_Kincardine nein, sees them fall out of the tournie with a whimper, The Hannover fan will end up with a hangover to commiserate and I'm sure Kinky will join him. Could the former pair be the team to beat in this cup competition? Who knows? Who cares? Maybe them, Moomin was in India you know, he doesn't like spicy food, and maths will be praying for a question on a killie pie. @NJ2 & @JamesP_81 11 v @MixuFixit @Spring Onion 8 - A combination I wasn't sure would work but alas it has as two veterans sail through, F1 one fan James kept them on track while Jambo NJ2 added a finishing touch. Tears no doubt from the Onion and Mixu clearly couldn't fix it as they go out at an early stage. Unlucky lads. And finally some of the cup comps big hitters met up for a clash of the titans watched by an audience of 3 who then switched over for the Freeview @alang1993 & @pleslie99 a staggering 17 yes 17 v @101 @Eednud 13 - fair play to the boys with a staggering score to see off Prince, sorry Symbol sorry Adam and everyone's favourite resident of Adelaide, Edmund. Breaking news - As highest losers Edmund & Adam go through. The draw for the next round will take place tomorrow if I'm still alive. I'm excited, no honestly I am, just getting old that's all...

Literally every Hearts poster on this thread should have to start with the disclaimer "I am a Hearts fan and in this post I will be attempting to pathetically weasel us out of a deserved relegation that a week ago we had declared to be inevitable."

I'll chuck a few quid your way. Good luck

Was out today, in the Bearsden area. Nipped into Waitrose for some lunch - their cafe was closed. Carried on with my business - hadn’t managed lunch by 3 o’ clock, then found myself passing the Dobbies Garden Centre near Milngavie. Diverted in, knowing there would be something available (if their cafe was even open). Walked in, and the place was dead. Hardly anyone around. The cafe was open (hurrah!), but there was a big chalked sign saying ‘cafe will close at 4pm until further notice’, and there were maybe only four or five folk in it at all. The shelves in the cafe, normally stocked with their wares, were sparsely stocked. A ragtag collection of treacle scones and traybakes. Walked past those, walked past the sandwich counter as nothing was on display, and the big metal bowls normally full of chicken mayo’ or prawns in a marie rose sauce were empty. It was depressing - the phrase ‘this shit is getting real’ immediately sprung to mind. Suddenly, ahead of me, at the ‘hot food’ counter, under a heat lamp, was a plate with maybe twenty or so cooked link sausages. Fcukin’ result - I thought. The lassie behind the counter pipes up ‘can I help you’... Yes, can you do me a roll on link sausage please’.... ‘Sorry, they’re on the kids menu’. Me: ‘Sorry? What? The place is empty, kids are just this minute coming out of school, and you’re shutting in an hour!, any chance of just shoving a couple of those links on a roll?’.... ‘Hold on I’ll ask the manager’.... ‘Sorry, manager says no, there’s no button on the till to put it through as an adult meal’.... Me: ‘You have to be kidding, there’s hardly anything on your shelves, there’s at least twenty cooked links there, you shut in an hour, they’ll be thrown out’..... ‘Sorry, nothing I can do’. In the name of actual fcuk, the blitz spirit, that’ll get us through. Jesus fcuking Christ.

I’d rather spend 2 weeks in quarantine on a ward full of infected patients, than spend 2 hours in the company of @D.A.F.C listening to his boring, mundane pish.

Bit like this I would assume.

So you don't think it's worth it to temporarily change the way you do some things just to save a few lives. That's what a sociopath might say. One of those lives might be mine or someone you are related to you. Shame on you but then I doubt if you will be capable of that emotion. My partner and I have just started isolation because we show some symptoms, not just to protect us BUT TO AVOID GIVING IT TO SOMEONE LIKE YOU. I come into contact with older people in my job everyday and I care they are not put at risk. I have a low paid job and this will screw up our finances dramatically but I care for my fellow human beings, especially the vulnerable ones.

Haha hope you go burst yah c**t https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-health-coronavirus-jd-wetherspoon/wetherspoon-warns-british-government-is-making-tactical-error-in-efforts-to-stem-coronavirus-idUKKBN2141Y5

COVID19 has significantly higher mortality rate than the flu. Unlike the flu you can be contagious for weeks without developing symptoms, nobody is immune to the virus, and there’s no vaccine — so many more people will end up catching it than those who catch the flu if we don’t act. There's potential for enormous chunks of the population needing medical care at once. Larbert hospital for example doesn’t have the space (860 beds), equipment, or staffing to have thousands of people in A+E at once. With the Falkirk areas 65-75+ population of 30,000, even 1%+ of that is going to be a disaster resource wise. People with coronavirus or normal flu who would otherwise survive will die because there isn’t space for them, or there’s a delay in getting the necessary treatment. Another factor is people with unrelated problems who aren't able to get treated. It's absolutely worth it for this sustained period of battening down the hatches to save lives and help the NHS. America for example If the worst-case estimates do happen, over 1.5 million Americans die from COVID19. America and Britain's total civilian and military loss over WW2? — 870,300 people Keep Calm and Carry On though eh!

Rupert murdoch giving us free toilet paper for 12 weeks.

They'll get booted into the Championship for 'being fucking shite' which is how a league system works.

Nothing puts the Great into Great Britain like a boomer drowning in their own body fluids, blocking someone else needing treatment because 'they won't be patronised or ordered about by the younger generation' 'Its just a bad cold. I'm not going to let some liberal, soft touch lefty scientist stop me going to the boozer'

No there doesn't, that's how stupid misinformation such as "the death rate isn't that high" gets trotted out by morons like you.

Did you just decide to make up rules to suit yourself here VT? That is not and never has been the case in Scotland (or anywhere else in the UK as far as I know).

That's an interesting choice of GIF from someone who thinks that the result stands in a game abandoned after 75 minutes.

The complaints about "point scoring" are pant-wetting nonsense. It's perfectly feasible to simultaneously hold the position of "f**k, this is awful, lets touch elbows and get through this together" whilst also making the legitimate criticism of "a decade of pointless, ideologically driven, austerity and short-term thinking has left this country and its people extremely vulnerable to such a crisis".

Didn't know whether to post this, cos there are many others who will be in worse positions than me, but f**k it, I need to get it out there: I work in Montenegro, which although it has no confirmed cases to date, decided to impose strict measures on Sunday night (bars, restos closed and three people allowed into the bank at any one time), in addition to closure of road borders, which was swiftly followed yesterday by closure of the national airspace. Was due to fly home for 10 days on Thursday, mainly to see my 91 year-old mother who is very frail, but would also have taken in The Who.at the Hydro and Scotland v Israel. Not so much concerned about the loss of the concert and the game, but it's important to me to see my mum regularly at this point in her life. Although she's still sound of mind, her body's been slowly packing up this last year. Horrible enough in itself. The uncertainty of when I'll be able to get back home, even although I fully appreciate why it's necessary, is absolutely gut wrenching.

Unfortunately, that is not the job of media these days. In return for 'access' they're nothing more than PR fluffers. A journalist/media class who all went to school with those involved in politics. MP's given an uncritical platform to announce government policy in their pal's newspapers, sometimes behind paywalls. Journalists more interested in scolding and sneering at the general public on twitter, than holding those in power to account.

Good news though

You could have waited till the kids came in, took one quietly aside , gave them a fiver and asked if they liked sausage and if not could they...no, wait a minute, I think I've taken a wrong turning here.

A fucking Amazon warehouse is not an essential public service champ.

The supermarkets are running out of essential supplies precisely because he's a blundering fool. Everyone is aware we're heading for "lock down" but nobody really understands what that means. If Johnson had said three weeks ago "We are heading towards a lock down scenario in a matter of weeks, however we want to stress that essential supplies such as food stores and medicine will be readily available for people who need it during this time" we'd see a lot less panic buying from people. He's put out massively conflicting advice one day after the other and coupled with scary info coming from other countries it's caused mass panic. We absolutely cannot pat him on the back here, he is not leading the country.

Might as well try that, they don't seem to have got it done by working from work.

At least good old Covid has put a fucking dampener on all the the plastic paddy day shite. #montheCovid

Awww Donna's cakes!

Until June last year I was working over in Rotterdam for a large multi-national engineering company unfortunately due to family events and circumstances (dad died, mum hd dementia and has had to go into care) I had to come back to Scotland> i was out of work for a few weeks and the job with an engineering company in Falkirk was the 1st one that came along. Planning to go back to the NL later this year (if I survive the Covid-19 pandemic)

A lot of people are going to realise fairly soon that their jobs don't matter, no-one cares if they don't do them, and that's going to have a massively profound impact on their mental health.

Having read a few of your post I strongly advise ibuprofen. Lots of it.

Anybody who thinks denying Neil Lennon’s Celtic a title isn’t fully justified on comedy grounds alone is probably a fan of Mrs Brown’s boys

Why would they? Why would club's continue to pay to be members of the SJFA when they get very little, if anything, for it?

One will be head of communications and media relations for the club and one will be head of communications and media relations for the company.

The lad that sat next to me as I worked on Friday talked utter nonsense and proceeded to shit himself mid conversation and carry on as if it didn't happen. Working from home has its drawbacks especially with toddlers involved

Tae a virus Twa months ago, we didna ken, yer name or ocht aboot ye But lots of things have changed since then, I really must salute ye Yer spreading rate is quite intense, yer feeding like a gannet Disruption caused, is so immense, ye’ve shaken oor wee planet. Corona used tae be a beer, they garnished it wae limes But noo it’s filled us awe wae fear These days, are scary times. Nae shakin hawns, or peckin lips, it’s whit they awe advise But scrub them weel, richt tae the tips, that’s how we’ll awe survive Just stay inside , the hoose, ye bide Nae sneakin oot for strolls Just check the lavvy every hoor And stock-take, your loo rolls Our holidays have been pit aff Noo that’s the Jet2 patter Pit oan yer thermals, have a laugh And paddle ‘ doon the waater ‘ Canary isles, no for a while Nae need for suntan cream And awe because o this wee bug We ken tae be..19 The boredom surely will set in, But have a read, or doodle Or plan yer menu for the month Wi 95 pot noodles. When these run oot, just look about A change, it would be nice We’ve beans and pasta By the ton and twenty stane o rice. So dinny think yell wipe us oot Aye true, a few have died Bubonic, bird flu, and Tb They came, they left, they tried Ye might be gallus noo ma freen As ye jump fae cup tae cup But when we get oor vaccine Yer number will be up. eta Anon. (it wisnae me)

Some Scottish Unionists reported to be furious that the Norwegian FA broke the news before UEFA

What a massive c**t.

I am having to self isolate, having some of the symptoms. Probably a winter illness but both myself and my partner are in a high-risk group and have poor general health at the best of times. Take care of yourselves and your families. xx

Start marriage as you mean to continue.

Why no option for "continue the season when able from where we are now"?? That would get my vote...

100%. Although there is this YouTube channel which has a fair few on. Does this mean I'm going to watch 180 minutes of the playoffs again? Absolutely yes.

^^^ highly valued member of the British government's Covid 19 taskforce.

tbsouth posted yesterday that he died of coronavirus in January.