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At least we can all take a certain amount of enjoyment from that wee ned Fraser Aird getting binned by Cove for getting caught making 'certain signs' at Parkhead yesterday. He's probably buzzing that he'll be free to spend his weekends at The Louden. Shite footballer and a total bigot. Happy days.

Surely just about everyone knows a woman - or a man - who has been raped. Even you don't know about it, it's happened. I know of several people in my own life, one of them a close friend, who has gone through that, and she has had years of people not believing her, accusing her to her face of lying, being more concerned about the impact on the talented, promising man who raped her. It's maybe worthwhile thinking about how someone who has been through that experience would feel if they were reading these kinds of discussions. Because chances are, someone you know has been. Maybe someone who sits near you at the games, maybe someone who sells you your pie and bovril at half time. And think about the message a club sends to them when it decides that the goals are more important, or when people talk euphemistically about "baggage" as if he just had a reputation for falling out with managers or something. Nobody can deny that Goodwillie is a good footballer, and purely in terms of skill he'd be a great signing for any club in this division and not a few in the one above it. But some things are surely, surely more important.

American Psycho try-hard ^^^

Celtic complaining about *anybody* celebrating without class is a good one in fairness

Going out on my first date since coming off the anti-depressants and alcohol tomorrow (well today technically, but I can’t sleep!) lads. Wish me luck. [emoji27]

Why’s DKD not been offered anything? Genuinely brought excitement anytime he was on the ball last season and chipped in with a few goals. Would absolutely shag this league.

People who scream about it being "only" a civil court conviction are exactly the same kind of wrong'uns as those weird American libertarians who jump around on Twitter insisting that, actually, there is technically a difference between paedophilia (wrong, bad, beyond the pale, of course) and ephebophilia (different! totally fine!). Football has taken to patting itself on the back a bit recently about how good it is on things like homophobia and mental health, but as long as people are totally willing to defend rapists and accuse their victims of lying solely because a man is good at football, the sport has a long, long way to go in terms of social responsibility. Nobody would get so het up about how good a postie someone was if that postie had been convicted of rape in a civil court. When a minister or a priest gets found out for being an abuser, we don't say "Ah, but his sermons are brilliant!" And we certainly wouldn't say that if it had been us, or our sister, or our friend, or our cousin that had been abused. Football should be no different.

Munoz responding to every single mention of his name by frantically hunting down another gif of Mark E Smith or Johnny Rotten to show how little he's bothered. It's hard to tell whether he's jumping up and down with glee at all the attention, or inwardly seething at how nobody likes him. Whichever one it is, the one thing he's not, though, is 'not bothered'.

Instead of doing them team by team I'll just do it by division. The top 3. @HibsFan, @JamieThomas & @YassinMoutaouakil. The worst 3. @Munoz, @Munoz & @Munoz. This concludes my voting this year.

Some things in the statement correct but VAR is a pile of shite that will ruin the game for match going supporters. Really hope they keep it down there in the tourist league.

Embarrassing.

Any c**t on either side mouthing racist shite or throwing shit needs emptying. Thank you

Hearts fans coming out swinging now that there's no games for three weeks to continue to show how shite they are. Nice.

I was in the mood to suck the joy out of fitba' with some statistics so I put the last season-and-a-half into a python script, calculated an Elo-based ranking of the team strengths, and then resimulated the rest of the league 10,000 times to get a rough guess as to where the teams would end up. Here, columns are the league positions, rows are the teams, and the values are the percentage chance that a team is predicted to be in that position at the end of the season. Take this with a giant heap of salt, in that this requires some statistical assumptions (Elo parameters were just tuned to something vaguely sensible, and I fitted a probability distribution of goal differences by eyeballing a graph), and some football ones (manager changes and transfer windows might radically change a team's strength - Killie and Hearts would be the obvious top contenders for a rapid change in form). And the method is probably complete bollocks from the get-go, of course. (To keep myself honest on that last point, after the event, I checked the technique with other seasons since the split came into force; the predicted last-place from this method was actually last placed 13 times out of 18, with the last-placed predictee coming second-last 4 times, and the one 'other' case was 2013-14 where Hearts - the predicted loser - were officially last due to a points deduction and only second-last in terms of game results. The most anomalous historical prediction was that it predicted Aberdeen would be the most likely to win in 2014-15, albeit with only a marginally higher percentage than Celtic - 35% to 31% - so it wasn't too sure of itself, and it did successfully predict Aberdeen coming 9th in 2011, despite everything). Anyways, statistics confirms what we all knew already - Hearts are dugshite and it's a 70% chance they're going down...

Bin this pish chat ffs. Goodwillie is a c**t, end of.

At the end of the day united fans are ugly as f**k.

Good to see big Jim doing well at St Mirren.

Not this again...…..only because it shamefully did not get to a criminal court. Meanwhile in the civil court: But in a civil ruling on the case on January 17, heard at the Court of Session in Edinburgh, Lord Armstrong said Goodwillie and Robertson “each raped her”. He said: “Having carefully examined and scrutinised the whole evidence in the case, I find the evidence of the pursuer (the woman) to be cogent, persuasive and compelling. “In the result, therefore, I find that in the early hours of Sunday January 2, 2011, at the flat in Greig Crescent, Armadale, both defenders (the footballers) took advantage of the pursuer when she was vulnerable through an excessive intake of alcohol. They must now pay her £100,000 in damages. Ms Clair sued striker Goodwillie and his then Dundee United colleague David Robertson after being left “devastated” by a Crown decision not to prosecute. She waived her right to anonymity. His club at the time, Plymouth, rightly binned him after this.

Worked an absolute charm for Jennifer Lopez when she re-branded herself as J-Lo, but not so well for Babyshambles front man Pete Doherty when he tried to do likewise.

I think we can state without fear of contradiction that had the neck-cutting gesture been made by a Celtic player from Colombia in exactly the same circumstances, the **** would be condemning it to the highest heaven.

By god, I don't think I've ever hated a person who means nothing to me more in my entire life.

Think he’s more right wing these days.

To be fair, I haven’t turned on them. I didn’t want them to start with and don’t think they have the skills and knowledge required to do the job.

Can we stop talking about Clyde FCs rapist. Don’t want him here, he won’t be here. Chat over.

It's what people who pretend to be coal miners use. And Justin Trudeau.

Goodwillie is really not what our shambles of a club neads right now. We need players that the fans can connect with not despise.

This. i predicted a comfortable Celtic win, not expecting them to set up or play as badly as they did in the league cup final. Man for man, Celtic have the better players, but Gerrard nailed it. Lennon was/ is the cheap shite option and it may well come back to haunt them. Watch as his behaviour deteriorate as the pressure mounts......

You tell us, how does it feel to lose TOB?

If we sell Bowie to Livi then we'd be as well folding. He's destined for far bigger things. Personally, I'd be disappointed if he goes to pretty much any club in Scotland. The lad has incredible potential, the last thing we need is to give a brilliant young talent to a club who we should be competing against at a league level so that they can reap the benefits.

Pie and Bovril has gone downhill dramatically. No one can discuss a game anymore it's just fans wanting to take the piss out of each other. Pretty nasty at times as well. People take it far too seriously. I would love to just talk about tactics cups players history football the goals & the actual 90 minutes. Nothing wrong with a bit of banter & rubbing it in people's faces but I've noticed it's getting a bit out of hand so much that I barely go on P&B now. It seems every time I go on it now I regret it. Arbroath are dark horses they are doing great tough defence well drilled & good on the counter. When you have players like Bobby Linn you can make things happen he had Rooney chasing him about all game. Dick Campbell is also a very good manager very old school but he makes things work I'd imagine the Arbroath side have a lot of respect for him. Dick takes no crap of anyone

Every single one of those police officers absolutely shitting themselves.

He’s a lightweight shitebag. A winger version of Charlie Telfer. He’d probably do ok but he’s done absolutely nothing so far in his career. Would rather we’d avoid signing dugmeat like that tbh.

Give it a rest. Cheers.

Given that there are only 1,940 of them it’s a tough ask to convince anyone you’re a diehard United fan.

Being a full back and being a winger are two completely different things: the former normally allows plenty of free space for the player to advance from deep with or without the ball unchallenged, whereas the latter will usually be more closely marked and require some degree of attacking or physical skill and intelligence to find space. I could say with some confidence that Ryan Williamson would not be a very good winger.

100%. The more I've thought about it, the more I'm annoyed the board got rid of McKinnon just to bring in two ex-players thinking that would ameliorate fans anger towards them. I like McCracken and Miller as every Falkirk fan but the whole 'we're having a process' only to appoint them 2 days later, with them having done nothing to warrant being given the job, stinks to me. In a season where we need to go up, giving the job to two rookies, no matter how popular or 'sexy' they are, doesn't sit well with me. I've seen nothing so far to make me think they have the answers either.

Ian McCall's a havering c**t. I think that's something we can all agree on.

That is a spectacularly stupid, childish and petulant statement. Apart from being self serving and contradictory, it's badly punctuated and expressed. It would easily pass as a parody.

He'll end up at Kelty next imo.

I'm a Morton fan so am currently supporting a club that is playing junior quality football at best.

Kurtis Roberts and Leon McCann should just get ten year contracts their that good

At this level unless one team is totally outplaying the other and has the freedom to play really good football, you seldom see "good" football matches in the conventional sense (oh so bourgois!). And that doesn't often happen, unless it's a good full-time team against a bad part-time one. Most games are scrappy and bitty, because if they players were capable of a lot more than that they wouldn't be playing for Airdrie, Falkirk, Peterhead etc. But you can still get entertaining games that are, as our backwards-talking denizen of the Black Lodge says, really absorbing. That's what we had on Saturday, for my £0.02.

Yeah, I mean it's all relative, watch match of the day or european matches and it genuinely feels like a non-contact sport, with any feather-light touch being considered a foul or impediment. The scottish top flight looks far more robust in that light, but compared to League 1 and presumably the division above and below us it does seem a different set of standards are in play regards tackles, fouls and so forth. I found Saturday to be a really absorbing contest that was right in the balance from beginning to end. No going to expect much more than that from a League 1 match, so no complaints from me in that regard.

Was it not because of his support of the Tories after the recent election? You know how it is, "Celtic FC, a club open to people of all backgrounds, all creeds.............but only if you hold the same political views and leanings as the majority our sanctimonious, left leaning, hypocritical blowhard support".

Some folk on here don't manage to wash their hands, you seriously expect them to use charcoal face wash (whatever that is)

She's right...

Personally, I couldn’t give a fcuk if the referee should have given Sevco this, that, or the other, nor do I give a fcuk if he should have awarded Celtic X, Y, or Z. As long as one set of cnuts are seething at full time. League Cup final it was one cheek, today it was the other cheek. Just a shame both sets of cnuts can’t lose.

Well, I have a tale to share. It's a little bit cheesy, so bear with me. Or skip past...I'm writing this out more for myself than anything else. Part 1: Yesterday turned out to be a bad one. Really bad. As in, tears, rocking back and forth, Mrs Shotgun making emergency phone calls to my family in Britain, the works. For the first time in my life I found myself actively considering ending it all. I've never been that low and I'm grateful to have made it through. We talked about me handing in my notice at work (which would bring a host of other problems but might be best for my mental health) and of maybe checking me into a health centre for some in-depth counselling. I slept well though and woke up to a beautiful, sunny, crisp, fresh snow winter's day - the kind that reminds me why I love living in Colorado. I'm about to go for a long walk with the dug and am feeling much, much more optimistic about well, everything. Part 2: (Here's where it gets cheesy) I've never been big on the idea of dreams having significant meaning. I don't like talking about my dreams, I don't like hearing about other people's dreams, I hate dream sequences in books, films and television shows. Dreams aren't my thing, OK? But... I was playing on a baseball team but being British, didn't really know what to do. The other players were bullying me like I'm in fucking primary school all over again and I'd resolved to tell them what they could do with their stupid game. Then later, someone was on the phone with Andre Previn, the French orchestra conductor, who also played on the baseball team. (If you aren't sure who Andre Previn was, do a YouTube search for his appearance on the Morecambe and Wise show. Why him? Well, I'm not sure but my boss is French and while he's a great guy, who I like very much, I'm having so many problems at work that I've come to associate his accent with negativity and trouble. Coincidence? Yeah, probably not.) So here in my dream, I have Mr Previn on speaker phone, yelling at me "Don't quit Shotgun, don't quit. Don't let the b*****ds make you quit!" in my boss's voice. Don't quit my job, or don't quit life? For the moment, I'm choosing to believe he meant the latter. So...I'm off for a walk. See you later.

Maybe it's the beer talking lads, but we've got a team that won't quit. They got the big scruffy Stendel here...theojanstWgrm...FIVE POINTS BEHIND??!!!? Get outta herezzzzz