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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey you're in here a lot. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" The horse replies "I don't think I am." And poof. Disappears from existence. Now that joke is a reference to the philosopher Descartes and his famous line "I think, therefore I am." I could have explained that first, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

This is all leading to something. The politicians saw how this bullshit was developing years ago, especially in America, and jumped right on it, using their compliant media to stir it up. The poppy day garbage (sidebar; get it all so far to f**k) is just part of the ongoing deification of the armed forces. It’s taken hold probably better than they could have hoped, and so many morons buy in to it all. Where it’s leading is to the armed forces being able to do anything and get away with it. You just have to look at the nonsense surrounding ‘Marine A’ and that other recent case. The politicians want to create a world where their army can do anything and not only not be questioned, but praised. Quite how far they’ll take it is a scary prospect.

Cheers, broke three of my toes cringing at this.

I hope it was Hooley.

Its ok, I mean nothing bad has ever happened after the US funded and trained a marginalised group against an aggressor and then swiftly withdrawn. I’d give it a 9/11 chance that nothing bad will happen as a result from this.

Thank f**k this thread's been resurrected; I'd started to forget.

Hopefully it was you ya c**t.

I want my club’s manager to be sticking the head on dabs. Thank you James.

I think we can all agree that no matter what the lad Gallagher has done, making him play centre half for Scotland in Russia tonight is as draconian a punishment as you can get.

Any time something happens with a blatantly stupid rule in a sporting competition people like to throw out ‘well, everyone knew the rules before the tournament.’ So fucking what? How do we know national associations didn’t object pre-tournament? If it’s a stupid rule it’s a stupid rule. Obviously, it’s an absolutely gigantic typhoon, safety is paramount and keeping any games scheduled for Saturday and Sunday on those days in the areas it’s going to hit would be an outrageous risk to life, but they’ve been able to forecast the affected areas reliably enough from Wednesday onwards to make decisions for Saturday’s games. By all means if absolutely no alternative exists then cancel them, but that’s not the case. That is ample time to arrange moving them to another part of the country which isn’t expected to be affected and get people moved before the transport network shuts down, or move the games to another date which isn’t expected to be affected in the same location - either brought forward to Friday if turnaround time isn’t under 5 days for anyone (it would be five for NZ and France to play Friday rather than Saturday) or moved back to Monday, with the quarter finals not taking place until Saturday & Sunday. You can guarantee that if this issue was hitting next weekend they’d be doing everything they could to rejig the calendar so the quarter finals could actually be played. Cancellations and awarding draws have to be an option with a genuine threat to life in place, but they should be the last resort after all other options are exhausted. It’s clear that for World Rugby, when it’s Italy suffering as a result rather than a massive team, it’s the first resort and they’ve not even considered an alternative.

With all due respect mate...what the f**k would you know about it? McKinnon has been out coached at Peterhead, Airdrie, Clyde and Raith. He is negative, tactically rotten and has no ability to change a game. The blame absolutely lies at his feet. Thanks for caring tho

Was McPake working at the time of his incident? Was the Porter working at the time of his incident? Non argument. You lose.

'You can't win SNP. If you strike me down, I shall become a more powerful alias than you can possibly imagine'

I know we all post about it every year, but as far as I am concerned any sense of duty to the poppy fund will die with the last world war 2 veteran. They are the people for whom I believe we have a duty of care and owe a debt. After that, the UK govt have sent soldiers to die in politically motivated conflicts and I wont be a part of paying for it over and above my taxes.

Are these DABs who are trying to take a moral high ground the same ones who were chanting “David Goodwillie, he does what he wants”? Must say, if someone was to taunt me when I was minding my own business about an incident which prematurely ended my career I would probably react as well. Anyone who says they wouldn’t is either a massive gaping vagina or a liar.

Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on the sides of their ships? So that when they all come back to port, they can Scandinavian.

I really should be having a dig about the violent outbursts by the staff at dens but since it's against DABS and polis I'll refrain. Innocent until proven guilty.

This is a whole pile of birthday card pish. I could get the "he just made a mistake" stuff if he had run over someone while driving dangerously or even drunk or something along those lines. Even punching someone and it having more serious consequences than intended, I could understand. However, there is no way that any person who smashes someone's skull in with a baseball bat is anything other than a horrible scumbag of a person. That's not some out of character moment of madness, that's a premeditated attempt to kill or at the very least seriously hurt someone. Nobody who is capable of doing that can ever be described as a "good person", even if they're really remorseful about it. That's not the same as me saying that the guy shouldn't be allowed to resume his career, or even that he shouldn't be considered for Scotland. But let's not allow ourselves to brush this under the carpet as though it's some sort of minor misdemeanour where saying sorry makes everything better.

Dave, 43, work on the bins. Love Chelsea, Glasgow Rangers and Carling, hate the wife. f**k ISIS. Brexit means Brexit

f**k off Glen.

Time to give Gio another call. Thank you.

I'd happily be a 'traitor' to the idea of 'Britain' and what it stands for.

Haha. Did you forget you wrote that or do you just like calling yourself m8?

9/10 for Thursday. As far as I'm concerned that's as good as a 10 - think that's my best score since we changed quiz providers.

Warm summer night, 40 kids running around all tackling each other and trying to score a goal to get through to the next round. Geoff has already left because his mum doesn't like him staying out after 8. Dougie is crying, he was bitten by the mad dog when he had to get the ball back from garden behind the goals. Tom's wearing cycling shorts because they are fashionable. Everyone thinks he looks like a dick. The Mason twins don't seem to understand that its not Doubles. Erica wants to play but she's a girl so she can feck off. This is the Brexit we voted for. Isn't it. Glorious.

Football has helped me get through some hard times in my life, especially after my Dad died. Used to go to all the matches home and away with him. He died mid way through our championship winning season in 2003/04 and my Mum died five weeks later. Just into the new year however we went on a great run of form and I went to all the midweek games and Saturday games watching the great talent Wullie Mc Laren at his best. Our great performances culminating in winning the 1st Division championship helped me greatly to cope with my loss and it was particulary sweet beating Greenock Moron (not a spelling error - deliberate) towards the end of the season as my Dad had the stroke from which he died the same day as Moron beat us 6-1 at home earlier in the season. Although I must confess that football doesn't mean as much to me now as it did when my Dad was with me at the matches, I am grateful for Airdrie for helping me through what was an extremely difficult time emotionally.

Spectacular Wednesday morning entertainment, won't hear anyone say otherwise.

[emoji23]

I know we all post about it every year, but as far as I am concerned any sense of duty to the poppy fund will die with the last world war 2 veteran. They are the people for whom I believe we have a duty of care and owe a debt. After that, the UK govt have sent soldiers to die in politically motivated conflicts and I wont be a part of paying for it over and above my taxes. The problem with this is that it's a half truth. The worst, most atrocious, "politically motivated conflict" was The Great War which was the most pointless, deliberate loss of life in human history. Over 100 years on and no one can agree on what caused it and who really won (I think it was the Americans, probably) but it was simply a massive dick-measuring contest between the 'great powers' and no one came out with any great credit. Well, apart from The US and Hearts. It was certainly a war that Britain should have had no part in and was the worst example of a politically motivated war I can think of. So to write off more recent wars as sending off, "soldiers to die in politically motivated conflicts" is a little shallow as it's always been thus. I haven't 'worn a poppy with pride' for at least 20 years. I do, though, contribute to the British Legion each year. Mostly because I hope that the WW1 symbol of the poppy becomes true and that the notion of the 'war to end all wars' will eventually come to actuality. I wish this side of the poppy symbol would have a greater emphasis. In the age of a professional army the idea of raising money for troops' post-demob welfare is a bit rich as that should be the government's responsibility.

Dire Straits - Walk Of Life

At least this gives us something to discuss over the shitey international break. Thank you, Gaffer.

James McPake.

Ahh that time of year where they argue it’s not a political symbol...but if you don’t wear it you’re a FUCKING TRAITOR. Better than Christmas.

I used to buy a poppy, but in more recent years, since the hijacking of same by the The rangers (1872-2012 r.i.p) clan as their symbol of staunchness and loyalty, i don't buy or wear one.

Nick Lowe - I Love The Sound Of Breaking Glass

To be clear about this fresh new format - is this a phone-in, where taxi drivers and 60 year old pub bores air cliched opinions from yesterday's Record, or is it a panel show where some football people air cliched opinions from yesterday's Record for the benefit of taxi drivers and 60 year old pub bores?

Also, folk that wear their watch with the face on the inside of their wrist and not the outside like normal rational human beings

Surprised so many P&B folk dislike this story. Substitute the names for P&B posters, and "sharing fake news" for "posting pms", and it's basically a Sunday on here.

It's perfectly understandable that people on here haven't heard of you they only listen to top rated quality football radio shows and it doesn't look like that will be affecting you any time soon.

The Undertones-Let's talk about girls

About 6 years ago, I met Declan Gallagher in Prison when he was a prisoner on remand and awaiting sentencing. Although it’s been mentioned in other posts, I can’t remember the ins and outs of the incident, but ultimately his contract at Livingston FC had been terminated and he found himself behind bars, which despite what the media tell us, is somewhere you really don’t want to be. I worked in the gym in this prison and one Saturday, after finishing a workout, Declan was sitting on the cross-trainer watching the scores come in via Sky Sports News. He was devastated and spoke of how his life was in ruins and that he had let so many people down and he didn’t know how what he was going to do. I’d heard sob stories a million times over the years, but I could see (and hear) that what this lad was saying was true, and from the heart. I remember saying to him that his life was now at a crossroads, he could go on to be another young footballer who flew with the crows and was shot with the crows and he could continually do that, or he could do the best that he possibly could, to stay out of all the nonsense that goes on within prison and do his best to get his life back on track when he got out, but ultimately, learn by his experience and never take the position that he was is in, prior to the incident, for granted. He already knew that, I didn’t tell him anything he hadn’t heard a million times before, or that he hadn’t already told himself a million times. Over his time on Remand, Declan did everything he possibly could, to show that he was sorry for what had happened and actually, for the time I knew him, came across as a really good young lad with his head screwed on. He went to court after about a month of being in Remand, maybe slightly longer, and from memory the judge gave him a suspended sentence of a few years. Upon returning to society he was re-signed by Livingston FC, who were hugely criticised on social media and in the national media at the time and 3 years later he has been called up to the Scotland squad and has arguably been the best Defender in Scotland so far this season. So what can we take from this story?? I would say that ultimately, from the individual point of view, never think your life is over. No matter how dark it is or how bad it gets. We all make mistakes, some are huge and seem like the end of the world, others are not so, however if you have the right attitude and show remorse and prove to people you are a good person, then things can work out. You may not get back what you lost, but you can still have a happy ending and doors will open for you. Furthermore, be remorseful. I know from what Declan had said over his weeks in prison that he was, and I know from media reports that he did everything he could to apologise and make it up to the victim, who will probably never forget what happened, but also, never give up showing people and proving to people that you have learned from your mistake. From a society perspective, give people a second chance, if they are working hard to show they are sorry then they deserve that. You know when someone is a good person. If the people at Livingston FC had never allowed him a second chance, or any other club in Scotland, how would his life have ended up? It could have been a downward spiral for the lad that could have ended horribly. Good luck to Declan, it’s great see that he was sincere in what he was saying during this time and it’s great to see that he has managed to put that behind him and hopefully his career doesn’t end here and he he goes on to get more caps for the nation and maybe even go onto bigger things at club level.

Found my old template from when I used to start this threads last year, so I'll just use that so I don't bore you all to tears with 1,500 words on Dumbarton's nine games so far. Best Player at your club It's a toss up for me at the moment between Joe McKee and Reghan Tumilty. McKee has got a host of assists so far and we looked a far poorer team without him against Airdrieonians. It's not that anything about him stands out, he's just been a really good all rounder so far. His dead ball delivery is excellent, he's got a good eye for a pass, his decision making is good, he doesn't get involved in daft stuff, he works hard and defensively can do a job. If I had one criticism it would be that he's still to score for us, but given the amount he's set up I can't really grumble about that. Reghan Tumilty runs him very, very close though - and I've no doubt at all he'd improve a Morton side who appear to be a bit of a clown school defensively. If he'd been named as Man of the Match in every game he's played for us so far I don't think there would've been too many objections. Worst Player at your club Hmm...I had feared there'd be loads of options for this, but I think I've narrowed it down. Lewis Crawford has struggled, but he doesn't hide and is playing a level that's maybe a bit beyond him at the moment, so I'll exempt him. That leaves us with Mati Zata and Jordan McMillan. Lets start with Zata, he's not been seen on the pitch since the final minutes of the Peterhead game in August and is probably mighty relieved about that. He's the only player I've ever seen who actively avoids going near the ball. We timed him against Motherwell and he went for over half-an-hour without touching the ball before firing a volley from the edge of the box over his own crossbar. I can accept players who aren't very good, but ones who hide do my head in. I suspect he'll be punted come January. McMillan meanwhile also hasn't been seen in ages given he can play about one game in two months without getting injured. When he has played he hasn't hidden to be fair to him, he's just looked absolutely raging, rash and hyper-aggressive. I fear that a number of years out of senior football have finished him off. Manager(s) at your club Rating You know what? I can't really fault Duffy at all at this moment in time. I thought our recruitment looked like relegation fodder stuff, but he's got them producing some good stuff. We're still too light in terms of strikers, but he's sorted the team out otherwise and they're playing for him. 8/10. Best Signing of the summer at your club? Reghan Tumilty - sorted an area where we were seriously weak. Worst Signing at your club Meh pick one of McMillan or Zata again. The only positive I have is that I doubt we chucked big money at them like previous worst signings. Most Improved Player at your club Morgyn Neill started the season looked like an extremely handsome bombscare. Since then he's had his teeth knocked out, which has cost him looks points, but has started to look like a really solid big defender. His performance alongside Ryan McGeever in the 6-1 game at Cappielow was utterly harrowing stuff that still comes to me in the night - but since then the two of them have looked good together, whilst Neill's performance on Saturday was absolutely sensational. I just wish he'd stop pumping the ball down the line to absolutely nobody as much. Who's winning the League? Falkirk will surely punt McKinnon and appoint someone (anyone...) who can take that squad up, won't they? Who's making the playoffs? Raith - I've been surprised by how good they look, some of their late window signings look fantastic business - S.Anderson and Daniel Armstrong especially, whilst they've got a nice blend between players from a decade ago, and young guns like Regan Hendry, Jamie Gullan and Mikey Miller. East Fife - Seem to be great when they aren't playing us (copy and pasted from last year...Although they did look good against us for once last month) Clyde - I was really, really impressed by Clyde when they Rocked up at the C&G the other week. Played some lovely football, have a fantastic central-midfield pairing and a guaranteed source of goals. Who's finishing 9th? Peterhead - They just seem a bit uninspiring? Who's going down? Stranraer - You never tip Stranraer for relegation...But this season feels a stretch. They don't have a lot of squad depth and looked pretty poor against us early in the season. Feel like the league will be very tight - but they just won't have enough. Best player in the league? Oh...See I'm actually struggling here. So let me list a few of my favourites: Michael Tidser has been a guy I've admired for years, the same goes for Charlie Telfer who I have a massive soft spot for. He's just the sort of player I love. So neat and tidy. Then there's David Goodwillie who wouldn't be playing at this level if it wasn't for obvious reasons, Steven Anderson who is as solid an old-fashioned centre-half as you'll get, Regan Hendry who I was shocked to see back at Raith Rovers and the outstanding Lewis Vaughan...Who just has no luck at all. Highlight so far of the season… I'm going to go with our comeback victory against Peterhead. Just when you lose all hope football has a funny way of keeping you hooked. That was a great day out. Lowlight... Falkirk. 6-0. Need I say more?

52 days mum has been in hospital for, that is her getting let out for good this afternoon. Long may it continue

Jam Going Underground

I think you will find Declan Gallagher has been tried a couple of times mate