Leaderboard

You mean this back-heeled, no-look assist? The boy.

We will soon see a statement akin to this, Darvel Juniors are delighted to announce the signing of Ryan Caddis. Upon completing the signing, Manager Mick Kennedy said, "I have followed Ryan's career closely and he has followed mine too. I have decided the time is right for him to play for me...and for Darvel. When we spoke he was very complimentary about me....and about Darvel and I am sure he will make an instant impact for me as I continue my quest, with Darvel, to dominate Junior football. Ryan has shown the right attitude, as well as saying the right things about me, to convince me that he will be an integral player for me. I'm sure the club would like to thank me for getting Ryan to sign for them".

Criticism of Vihmann, across all platforms, is very Brexity. If we'd signed a 23-year-old Scottish player, he certainly wouldn't be getting the abuse (and that's what it is) after thee games, one of which was watched live by about 100 fans. Maybe if the support got behind a young guy trying to settle in a foreign country, it would be more constructive.

Pretty alarming to see folk would let their mates get the pish ripped out them for fear of "shooting the messenger" or even worse "it's not my relationship". Some mates.

This alias seems to be quick mover...

Jimmy Saville used to say that to parents.

Well that didn't take you long. "I only know what i read on here", aye right!

So this was on last night at the Comedy Club in Manchester. It was hosted by Charlie Higson and was just him asking Paul and Bob about the TV series and the three of them having a chat. It was exactly what you would expect from brilliant, funny guys. Charlie started it off by asking them how the series got off the ground with both Bob and Paul going off on long rambling hilarious stories about life, death, food and heart surgeons. They also had a bit of serious chat about fishing, if it is cruel to fish, the state of rivers and the behaviour of some water companies. They clearly enjoyed themselves, they were all hysterically laughing at each other's jokes and having a dig at one another. They seemed disappointed when it was time to finish though they had been chatting for an hour and a half. Highlights were Charlie and Paul doing a quick Ted and Ralph routine, Bob giving his top three course heart healthy menu in the voice of Peter Beardsley (thought Paul was going to collapse at this) and Paul doing Smashy then Rowley Birkin from the Fast Show. Both Charlie and Paul love the Athletico Mince podcasts and did some impressions of their favourite characters. Bob made the whole thing tick though, he comes out with such random shite that the other two couldn't stop laughing at and he just keeps going. He asked if it was true that in China every person had to kill a fly each day amongst other completely pointless questions. I was one of the lucky 50 of 500 there that had a sticker in my book and got a photo with the 3 of them at the end of it. Best 90 mins of the year though some might say being a Dee that it didn't have much competition.

First goal's the winner.

You're possibly the least relaxed person on the forum.

Gutted for Lewis Vaughan. Great player. God awful luck. Speedy recovery.

So realistically he’ll be back for the start of pre-season next year. The right thing to do now is to win this fucking league so he can unfurl the championship flag on his first game back.

With the best will in the world there's not a person alive who, even if you're together with the love of your life, could say with 100% certainty that they would never cheat. If Margot Robbie came over to you in your local and asked you to go up the road with her then you're going. I genuinely wouldn't, I'd go home and have an almighty w**k but I wouldn't cheat. Not worth it.

I'm not sure what value there is in arguing with one of the special people, but here we go... 1) Turnout doesn't make any difference to what I said about which parliament people approve of more and trust more. It's a non sequitur (look it up). 2) Local authorities have NEVER run hospitals in Scotland - unless you mean the glorified nursing homes. I don't know where you got that idea from. I guess you might be thinking on NHS Boards - those still exist, and they all have councillors from the councils in their areas on their Board of Directors. NHS Boards and local authorities are required to work together on Health and Social Care Partnerships. Your mention of hospitals is gibberish. 3) Schools - um, in case you haven't noticed, they're still run by local authorities. This is how the SNP's first education minister lost her job, because the SNP promised something they weren't in a position to deliver. The Scottish Government plays less of a role in schools now than the Scottish Office did in the mid 90s. I don't know what you think you're on about here. 4) Police - yep, the role of local authorities was downgraded to stuff like Local Scrutiny Committees when Police Scotland was formed. You get this one. Hard to call this a consequence of devolution when it occurred 14 years after devolution started, but never mind. Prior to 1999 strategic control of all police authorities rested with the Secretary of State for Scotland - which Scotland didn't elect. FWIW, those concerns about losing local knowledge happened when the UK government abolished the counties and burghs in 1975 and introduced the regions. This created forces like Strathclyde, which was half the size of Scotland. 5) A return to health boards - these have been under the control of Ministers since 1948. Pay and recruitment policy has ALWAYS been set centrally. Again, no idea what you're on about. 6) That article you link to? Doesn't describe a single thing that has been taken from local authorities. Not one. Read it and see. 7) Your defence of FPTP has been laughed out of existence by everyone with any interest in elections. If one candidate gets 29.9%, and the next gets 27.9%, you want to give 100% of the power to the people who voted for the slightly bigger loser and 0% to those who voted for literally anyone else. I took time to give you plenty of examples of why that's ludicrous, but I see that you're doubling down. Doubtless you'll put up a fight, because you're one of those people who forms opinions first and then searches for the facts to support them. I can't guarantee I'll bother replying again though.

Her daughters attempts at comedy are even worse, absolutely dire. Some of their videos would be classed as extreme torture by the United nations.

Anne Yeurism

It’s the most Ayrshire thing ever to be celebrating a new tractor

Terrible news regarding Vaughan! The lad must be devastated! How unlucky can a player get? No doubt that classless p***k of an Arbroath fan will be fair chuffed with himself! Regardless of what team you support you have to feel for Vaughan and I wish him all the best in his recovery.

Right, your audience awaits...

That’s the attitude we have to have about this! I’m distraught for Vaughan, and he is our best player, no doubt... but... Vaughan has hardly played this season, albeit when he has he’s been key, and we’re still top of the league. Steven Anderson, for me, was the player that allowed us to turn a corner as far as our away form is conferenced. We have a plethora of attacking options with Dingwall and Jack Smith to return at some point as well. We can beat any team without him, home and away. We can’t bemoan Vaughan’s injury, tragic as it is. We have to win the league for him, not despite him, because we can. We won’t win the league with a “poor us” attitude to our injuries, that’s for sure.

You are severely unhinged.

McTominay. McGinn. McGregor. McLean. Fleck. Christie. Armstrong. There you go...7 players that are better CMs than Ryan Jack. Each playing at a higher level than him, or at least playing to a better standard at the same level in the case of McGregor and Christie. So clearly not bollocks.

I love the way he reads out folks opinions of him and the show, like "Hey Steve, great show can you play some Ed Sheeren for my husband Colin, he thinks you're great." I often text into the show, although he never reads mine out, they usually read "Your show is shit and I think you're a c**t, gonna play some Prodigy?"

P&B

Deep fried whelks. I'm off to Dragons Den. Thank you.

We had Jamie Ewings on the Lower League Podcast this week - this is the only time Jamie's ever been on a podcast, so if you want something totally world exclusive poured into your ears then here it is! https://play.acast.com/s/thebackpage/658bdf4b-1e1d-4324-8da8-be2bbad3fcb0?autoplay

Div capitulated to pressure from Mumsnet in the Daily Record, shortly after their Am I Being Unreasonable Or... thread was taken over by P&B regulars to the extent that it made the pages of Private Eye. It was this website’s finest moment.

We had one in this thread the other day reveling in vaughans injury. Says alot when our immediate rivals this season can send well wishes etc but a teams fan(s) who we have no history with can be absolute p***ks about it. Just scummy behaviour!!!

Firmino's birthday today. Fancy him to bag a couple in a comfortable Liverpool win. Happy birthday Bobby.

True hes on the SRE Facebook page, I think he travels down from Newcastle for home game's. Must take him ages if he’s travelling down from Newcastle.

David Essex - Silver Dream Machine

It's Janey Godley, isn't it? She's gone undercover to obseve her mortal enemy in their natural habitat..... "football men".

Soul Asylum : Runaway Train

I can see why you get leathered quite frequently

"caught wanking in the traffic jam" type post imo

Some random woman cc'd our organisation's main shared email inbox to an email she sent to a woman who is employed by us last night. In the email, the random describes how she is aware that she is shagging her husband, and in doing so, also cheating on her own husband with whom she has two children. Copied us in to let us know what the woman is like, and that we should be investigating her. It is being passed around the office quicker than a scudbook was at school.

Going to be another cracking contest tonight. Mussy will be buzzing after Saturday and also have that Alex Jack win against us under their belts. Our lads showed again, against Tranent, that it's never over etc and we will be up to avenge that earlier defeat. You can stick your Champions League, the East of Scotland League is where it's at!

Let’s keep track of our achievements. 1. Got Gary Caldwell sacked. 2. Got Lawrence Shankland in the Scotland squad.

Obvs. You're the absolute epitome of a servile, cretinous doormat. We'd expect nothing less.

Last season I felt with the speed of raith going forward guys like nisbet, vaughan, flannigan and armstrong meant if raith scored first, they would rip the opposition to pieces. Defensively though they were a shambles if you went at them. In anderson, you have a guy who turned patricks season around last year, added stability & adds the odd goal. There also seems to be an acceptance of where raith are now. It's taken a while to change that attitude. Falkirk have a lot to learn about this level. Quality will go so far, but you need the right mentality.

Scared of the beard.

Train - Drops of Jupiter

El Cathlico

As usual, I'm not entirely sure what is going on here... but I've hidden some posts just to err on the side of caution. The team are doing amazingly well at the minute could we, maybe, try being happy and refrain from slagging each other off, at least for a bit?

Jake's swollen elbow has turned out to be a mast cell tumor. Hoping that with the help of steroids and palladia we'll maybe get a happy month or two before it's time to say goodbye.

Folk who quote that dinosaur post are worse than the content of that post.

Janey Godley and Wings over Bath make me consider voting no in the next indy ref. It must be how the decent no voters feel about being on the same side as the Orange Order.

David Gray looked really up for the Tunnocks Caramel Wafer Challenge Cup draw.