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Slept on it last night and gave it some thought this morning. Can confirm this is still very funny.

People referring to Boris Johnson as “Boris” as if he’s their friend or some cuddly but harmless buffoon. He’s not; he’s a despicable Tory c*nt.

Your puss is a monstrosity you fucking weegie mink

The absolute worst thing about all of this is the fact that it has brought absolute moon-unit Celtic fans into our lovely, hipster, LCD quoting thread.

Celtic proving yet again just how tacky, classless and embarrassing they are. Their cultist fans showing themselves up too with a hilarious, collective heads gone Old Firm entitlement is hilarious.

Was in a file stores job few years back when we were all called in by management as someone had written "Bernadette sucks Dave's cock" on the back of one of the dirty vans.(Two of the managers) Everyone knew what was written but a few were asking in the meeting what it was. Eventually a fuming Bernadette said it out loud. Dave started trying to say it's not on but boys will be boys. Then Bernadette stood up furious and shouted at Dave "YOU START LOCKING THE DOOR WHEN YOUR DOING A SHITE TOO" and stormed off.

Adamjelly05, thank you.

Some very sad news tonight on twitter about the death of saints fan Fiona McAskill. She was only 35 years of age and apparently had a second brain haemorrhage. You would always hear Fiona at home games screaming as the team lines were announced. Quite a character, RIP buddie.

"Motherwell starlet DT turns down £3m plus move to Celtic." Somewhere, in a shitty Glasgow suburb, Dom Thomas' head is exploding.

The simpletons are biting all over the place on Twitter. I also believe that one of my tweets has been used on a Celtic blog [emoji23] It was good fun after a few pints yesterday.

I'm surprised Celtic's statement didn't include this exclusive footage of Turnbull receiving the "fantastic" contract offer.

A wanctuary?

“Let’s get right behind the Rovers” will become “Letsh get right intae these minky b*****d Methil c***s Rovers......ahhhhh!”

That's the far side. That's off one light on each. There is 2 other lights on each pole facing the other direction which we use for training. These will be turned round.

What about Bodge for stadium announcer ?

It’s this post that’s shameful. Bitter and resentful, smacks of someone having a few too many and having a rant when it would have been better to step away from the phone. I think the club should have publicly thanked last seasons squad and wished them the best where ever they end up. That would have been the right thing to do before moving on to welcome the new intake.

Your first paragraph was really excellent. Your second is the standard “we didn’t want him anyway” rubbish, even though your club was willing to spend £3m plus to get him.

It's a return to winning ways for Alan Lang, narrowly narrowing out MSU on BNQD. At the other end, Mark Connolly and German Jag shat the bed, Arch Stanton utilises his intricate knowledge of BNQD calculations to avoid the play-offs at the expense of The DA. Not a good week for Dundee Utd (when has it been though?) Christophe's consistent display earns him a trip back to the top table, with Edmund carrying his shopping 1 point behind. Our old friend BNQD plays a part again, propelling MixuFixit into the play-offs. His trophy cabinet might be bare, but he's rocketing up the charts. At the other end, some shameful performances from some of mid-tier sides (my own included), but luckily it doesn't matter cos Tynierose and AEAIG have gone AWOL. JamesP is in the play-offs. And in the BHL, The_Kincardine is doing a The_Rangers and starting from the bottom league and romping it. blackislekille is up, and the Captain scoops the last play-off. So it's over to our slippery friend, Slippy McSlipface, to sort out the play-offs ... ooh look what I've done. An invisible tag: @SlipperyP

Fwiw: I've been thinking about this since the whole thing about the 'wage demands' broke. This is what Div said when he signed the extension: This is what he was saying about Hastie prior to the Sevco move being official: It's almost as if he's being consistent in his position. I thought the bit in the Express from Scott Burns said quite a lot and it's pretty clear he's been briefed: Sorry about all the C&P. If nothing else it'd suggest that DT isn't all that fussed whether he signs for Celtic or not.

V.good

I think the deals dead in the water. This whole sorry affair appears to have been played out on twitter in an attempt, by Celtic, to convince their fans that there will be no repeat of the McGinn fiasco, and by us, in an attempt to soften the blow to the fans of losing our star player to "them", hence all of the once in a lifetime, we can now scrape the paint off the East Stand stairs with da money, chat. Unfortunately, no one appears to have counted on the fact that, unlike most young Scottish players, Div Turnbull is no a fucking moron who can see that the path to truly developing his career does not involve sitting on Celtic's bench. If it was up to me, Id rename the South Stand after him tomorrow.

This doesn't affect me but if it makes people who are marginalised in society a little more comfortable I'll back it to the hilt

Most people will be aware of the impact that Burnie_man's "Junior football, what is the future?" thread has has over the last couple of years on the development of the Pyramid. Perhaps now is the time for a similar thread covering a higher echelon of the Pyramid. In my view today, 14th June 2019, marks the day when the Lowland League has truly come of age with a quality side - Bonnyrigg Rose Athletic - finally getting their long awaited SFA Full Licence and promotion from the EOSL to the LL. They are joining Berwick Rangers recently relegated from the SPFL2 so at long last we have got a fully operational LL cog within the SFA Pyramid. It all appears a great success. However, if we delve a little below the surface there are a number of issues of real concern: 1. The difficulties faced by LL sides in gaining a promotion place to SPFL2 - being subject to two rounds of playoffs. 2. The difficulty of creating more relegation/promotion places (say up to three) between the LL [Tier 5] and EOSL / SOSL / WOSL(?) [Tier 6]. 3. The possibility of creating a LL2 (single division of 16 teams) with clubs from EOS and West Region JFA. 4. The possibility of creating a LL2 East (16 teams) and LL2 West (16 teams). 5. The problems created by the SFA's Licensing debacle. 6. The increasing problem of self-preservation / conservatism of the existing LL membership - avoiding changes for the greater benefit of Non League football in general in order to safeguard the self-benefits of current LL clubs. 7. The problems of working with the Pyramid Working Group / Lowland League Sub-Group and agreeing positive solutions. 8. The difficulties created by the lack of understanding, leadership and innovation by the SFA. I do not propose to come forward with suggested solutions to these issues today. But I do think they are worthy of discussion and debate. I hope that you agree.

Certainly. It gives them a nice shiny appearance which aids visability.

Is someone paying you to write this pish?

Shut it Love Actually, do you want me to hole punch your face?

Yep I’m sure everything Celtic does is all for the greater good of the game.

I fully agree that a merger between the EOS and ERJFA is desirable, but a boundary shift is simply outwith the scope of the PWG. It's the PGB who have to agree with this, including the SPFL. With Lochee as my local team, I definitely want a solution for all clubs, including the Tayside ones. But geographically, having the boundary any further north makes no sense. I think there should be a merger between south of Tay ERJFA & EOS, just like there should be one between north of Tay ERJFA & NRJFA. From here to north region clubs are generally shorter trips anyway than to West Lothian, especially now the roads around Aberdeen have improved.

Imagine spending your spare time doing that and then doing a fucking awful job of it. What a minter

If reports are to be believed, Turnbull has done what fans have been asking for for years. He’s turned down a huge salary in favour of playing football. Respect to him.

Come on, mate. That's not fair, Players could have been told to leave for all we know. But that's the issue, we don't know anything yet, cos the club have remained silent. Tommy is one of the nicest guys in the league and did a lot for GFR this season with managing the disability squad. To say he's taking a huge step backwards or is immature by returning to Vale (the team he started at) is a bit too far. I know Vale are rivals but they look like they putting a team together. I hope GFR do well, but the worry is they have been out of sorts since the season ended even after Dean Shanks was shown the door. The way the club have conducted itself is not the norm we are used to.

I liked this.

BaxterParp literally just copies and pastes stuff from other sites without any actual insight. I'm calling bot. The pearl clutching "but won't somebody please think of the children!" brigade and their argument about demented perverts claiming to be women just to gain access to toilets and changing rooms doesn't seem to acknowledge that the only thing currently preventing demented perverts from gaining access to toilets and changing rooms is, erm, little plastic signs on the doors.

First day of pre season today came up to do a bit of filming Jordyn sheerin looking sharp looks like he has put a lot of effort in to shift some weight !

He was a treat to watch at Central Park. That’s all I remember and indeed all I care about. Any other side show is irrelevant to me.

This thread has turned into an episode of Brass Eye and fair play to Peppino and Baxter for keeping the spirit of Chris Morris alive.

Fucking hell, do you think rapists and perverts only prey on women walking in the woods? If some arsehole thinks he can go to the ladies and expose himself to all and sundry without fear of reprisal, he will fucking do it all bloody day. Right Again, this law doesn't make sexual harassment legal you fucking simpleton

Tinpot Livi

Giant irons. Tiny washing baskets. Utterly woeful attempt.

So you're not just saying it because you're trying to prove you're not bothered that Turnbull knocked celtic back, then?

Licensed: Blackburn United Broxburn Athletic Burntisland Shipyard (need floodlights) Coldstream (need floodlights) Dundonald Bluebell Easthouses Lily MW Hawick Royal Albert United Hill of Beath Hawthorn Jeanfield Swifts Linlithgow Rose Lothian Thistle Hutchison Vale Penicuik Athletic Preston Athletic Tynecastle Whitehill Welfare (need floodlights) Just need floodlights: Camelon Juniors Haddington Athletic Tranent Juniors St Andrews United Ongoing applications: Dalkeith Thistle Edinburgh United Musselburgh Athletic Newtongrange Star Awaiting approval to begin process: Dunipace Then you've got the likes of Bo'ness that you imagine will begin an application once they've got their ground sorted over the summer. With one or two others as well.

This is why it’s all about consistency/double standards whenever these disputes come up. If that’s your opinion then fair enough but don’t go running and crying when Farage or Robinson come out with things you don’t like when you yourself have said you would gain arousal in seeing them doused in acid for their political views. If it was a male comedian making this joke about a female politician then there would be massive outrage with Jo Cox (rightfully so) being heavily referenced and If it was a joke aimed at Sadjid Navid some people would perceive it as racist. So it’s of no surprise to see Brexiteers and Farage supporters getting upset about the double standards here even if they are the most loathsome people in the country. Jo Brand hasn’t done anything wrong here either and is just in the middle of this particular feud. She has to make jokes on the show that are topical and will get a quick laugh from the live audience to do her job, most people would have thought nothing of the joke if it hadn’t been flagged up after. I remember Frankie Boyle left mock the week not long after his Rebecca Addlington comment that she looked like someone who was looking at their reflection in a spoon, he said he didn’t want to have to make the comment but was given the photo of the Olympic team and had to say something in mockery that would make the audience laugh. It doesn’t mean it truly reflects the comedians opinions or is inciting hatred in any way they are just doing their job.

Tom Waits - The Piano has been drinking

Serious Drinking-Love on the terraces

That is a really good point. If the SFA was run by the selfless dedication as exemplified by the leadership of the EoSL over the last few years, and of the calibre of character of the late Turnbull Hutton, then Scottish football, at all levels, would be finely tuned to progress and advance.

Broughty just tweeted this picture. Looks brilliant.

Imagine being enough of a bigoted moron that you actually consider people being given additional rights and having a major tenet of their existence respected by society as being a negative thing. 99.9% of the c***s angry about this will not be affected by it in any way.