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  1. 53 points
  2. 38 points
  3. 26 points
    He's lucky he wasn't done for bleach of the piece.
  4. 24 points
    Kazakhstan clearly getting the traditional new President bounce.
  5. 23 points
  6. 18 points
  7. 17 points
    It's been nearly three fucking years now and some people still think that there is some 'ideology' underpinning the government as opposed to 'just cling to my job for as long as possible and stop my party from imploding'.
  8. 14 points
    This is for sure the worst Scotland result in my lifetime. I’ll be 132 on my next birthday.
  9. 14 points
    Vaulks is probably my favourite player since Latapy. Coming up here to play for absolutely f**k all and giving absolutely everything for the club. Could and did play anywhere on the park along with his huge throw ins, absolute pings from anywhere and belter of a celebration. The guys was just top notch on and off the park and deserves all the success in the world. Kiss me Willy x
  10. 14 points
    Before Dunblane, schools were pretty open areas and our high school was a throughway to and from the local college. We were deep into a high stakes game of jingles, ten bob game, serious stuff. We all have that one mate who is a man before the rest of you and ours was Big Jack. Sound guy and very good amateur boxer. He and I were last two in and were walking up to the wall to check who's coin was closest and would lift the lot. Before we got there, two bams, probably 19 or 20 year olds, heading to the college cut in and lifted the money, walking away laughing. Being a wee c**t with a big heid, I did f**k all, but Jack went after them. "Haw that's my money ya p***k" One guy just laughed, but the other got noised up and came at Jack. Before he got close enough to grab him, Jack stepped in and landed an absolute beauty of a punch to his jaw, swiftly followed by a flurry of punches before he went down and out. His mate tried to have a swing at Jack, who just ducked it and one punched the boy who landed on his arse. Absolute scenes ensued. The headmaster had been nearby and seeing the gathering crowd came over and split it all up, told the two guys to be on their way and lead Jack away to his office. Apparently he said that whilst he could not condone gambling, nor fighting, he was pleased to see Jack sticking up for his friends against "a couple of wide men". Instead of punishment he just asked Jack to promise he would never ever hit any of his classmates (or he would kill them), to which he agreed and that was that.
  11. 11 points
    An unparalleled display of universal ineptitude in an arena in which I thought I had seen it all. McLeish was a complete joke of an appointment to begin with, but results and performances since have done very little in terms of making a cogent case for him being anything close to an acceptable manager at any level. The bloke's last decent work came in his last spell as Scotland manager, over a decade ago and upon inheriting a highly-experienced, organised team left by his pal Walter. I am assuming that McLeish will spout the few excuses he has to hand, which would be valid if today's game resulted in anything other than being taught a lesson by a complete minnow of a side. If he'd any sense - after that, a highly fanciful notion - or national, if not personal pride, he would be offering nothing more than an apology and an immediate resignation. That is the worst performance I have ever seen from a side I've watched, and as a Clyde fan who has been virtually ever-present at games in the last decade, that really is a damning indictment of just how rudderless the performance was. The team that was fielded, although I didn't completely agree with it, looked fine to me and really should be more than enough to enable us to - at the very least - compete against any national side around about us, and get past sides of absolutely no pedigree like Kazakhstan. We were short on any real experience - Forrest and Armstrong the only players with any real history of starting regularly - and a Scott Brown or Darren Fletcher figure would no doubt have improved things. But whether we had had two weeks to acclimatise, had more experience or had certain players available, no combination of factors would serve to have sufficiently changed the outcome of that game. Utterly, utterly hopeless. To hear the ever-simpler commentators going on about the "perfect back-up" in the Nations League just shows how donkey-brained they are, as well. If we get slapped 3-0 off a complete non-entity nation with four - now five - wins in the last decade, then what is "perfect" about having our qualification hopes resting on being able to beat sides that are actually half-decent?
  12. 10 points
    The players clearly dont want McLeish as manager either. The amount of call offs and retirements since he was appointed backs this up.
  13. 10 points
    Note to PM May. This is how you get out of Europe quickly and with minimum effort
  14. 10 points
    Graeme Shinnie has played hundreds of games at left-back too, even if he hasn't played there much recently. Kevin McDonald was a standout player for Fulham last season, and has still featured semi-regularly this season too, but he was by a million miles the worst player in the Nations League campaign. We should pick players based on their ability to do the job for Scotland, not where they play, how often they play or any of the rest of it. I'm not sure I've ever seen Joe Bryan play, but his career screams out "jobber" and it's not clear if he even wants to play for Scotland anyway.
  15. 10 points
    Don’t tend to care much what ex players are up to but this boy deserves all the good in the world.
  16. 9 points
    I've had a few bads ones in my time, but this may be the worst post I've ever made on P&B. My apologies to the nation! McLeish Out.
  17. 9 points
    The usual discussions about developing players, kids playing football and the standard and nature of coaching in this country are of course relevant here, but the fact is that we fielded a team of players today more than good enough to beat Kazakhstan. Fucking Kazakhstan. We've got a decent pool of players at our disposal; right-back and possibly up front aside, either established players of a very decent quality or young players progressing well at their clubs make up the bulk of our squad. We didn't lose this game today because nine-year-olds are playing eleven-a-side with full-sized goals, nor because games consoles and YouTube have stolen some of football's market share as the extra-curricular activities of our kids. We lost it because we've got a complete joke of a governing body which has been failing us for a long time now, and in the past decade pretty glaringly so across the board. A governing body which failed to appoint a genuinely interested party who looked the perfect fit in favour of a guy whose sell-by date has long since passed.
  18. 9 points
    Teams to lose to Kazakhstan by three or more goals without scoring since 1994: Pakistan UAE Laos Nepal Macau Andorra Azerbaijan Scotland
  19. 9 points
    James Forrest to blame for this, IMO. Should never have scored that hat-trick, and we’d have immediately sacked the managerial dream team. McLeish will now cling on until the play-offs, which we’ll lose, with an absolutely miserable campaign along the way.
  20. 9 points
    I think Vaulks could go for more than 3 or 4 million, that English market is crazy. The way he has played for Rotherham and now he is in the Wales team I could see a bottom half Prem team or top Championship mob paying 7 or 8 million. However it goes Will thoroughly deserves everything he gets. Great player and cracking lad.
  21. 8 points
    This would never have happened if the OF Colts were in League 2...
  22. 8 points
    Bain, Burke, Mcgregor, Armstrong, Forrest, Grant.... I don't think Celtic fans should be pointing fingers mate
  23. 8 points
    This just isn't accurate at all. Kazakhstan's record has been awful, because they're not a good side. There's no superiority complex about it. A third seed side should not be losing 3-0 away at the fifth seed side. It's a simple as that. You can dress it up as a superiority complex if you want, but it's pish. They are the diddies they used to be and they will not take any points from Russia or Belgium, you can take that to the bank.
  24. 8 points
  25. 8 points
    Anyone made the joke that the loss of picture is the best thing that’s happened?
  26. 8 points
    That's enough for me. See you guys next campaign.
  27. 7 points
    Got shouted down by a few earlier. Apparently, just cos you play in the English Premiership, doesn’t make you that good. For various reasons we were missing 10 English Premiership regulars today and we all saw what happened. You cannot miss out on quality like that and expect everything to be okay. The opposition were totally underestimated. We have a specialist defensive midfielder in McTominay. Good enough to help Man Utd win 5 games in a row and beat PSG away from home. But not good enough for Scotland. Says it all really. McLeish must go and he must go now.
  28. 7 points
  29. 7 points
    Scott Bain is an utter haddy. Half the keepers in the Scottish Championship are better than him, let alone the Premiership.
  30. 7 points
    Stop appointing Scottish managers for fucks sake.
  31. 7 points
    Now that’s a scientific fact. There’s no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact.
  32. 7 points
    McLeish should never been appointed done nothing for a decade but he gets the Scotland job to pay off his EBT's.
  33. 7 points
    What a difference in attitude from Vaulks to the many players I've seen sign for team X because they offered a little bit more. I've seen players commit career suicide for an extra few quid as they warmed a bench at a higher paying club and then disappeared off the football radar. McGovern was another who didn't take the cash but wanted to play instead. He could have left us for a lot more cash but would be 2nd choice. To see him play at Euro 2016 after that was quite simply superb and a giant f**k you to the many who's attitude is 'how much am I getting?'
  34. 7 points
    This couldn't be more Fife if it tried.
  35. 6 points
  36. 6 points
    McLeish actively campaigned not to make his nationality 'Scottish' He then walked out of the Scotland job to manage a lower league team.
  37. 6 points
    SCOTLAND LEFT-BACK INJURED SCOTLAND LEFT-BACK OUT OF THE SQUAD SCOTLAND LEFT-BACK LEFT BACK HOME
  38. 6 points
    Imagine being McTominay and going back to Man United getting slagged rotten because your national team got pumped by Kazakhstan. Then they find out you can't actually get a start against Kazakhstan.
  39. 6 points
    Kazakhstan is landlocked, unlucky
  40. 6 points
    I've got a Russian stream. What does "Scotski hahahahaha" translate as?
  41. 6 points
    I don't think she'd swap Syria for Alloa mate.
  42. 6 points
    Thoughts and prayers with those who have taken a half-day off for this shite.
  43. 6 points
    So you are not against the death penalty.
  44. 6 points
    The death penalty? [emoji23] Grow up for f**k sake. I suppose you'd like 5 minutes alone with him too?
  45. 6 points
    All part of the plan. 38 - 38 at full time, mark my words.
  46. 6 points
    Aberdeen players should be banned from the national team.
  47. 6 points
    "European kick off times for European people"
  48. 6 points
    That would be some sell. "Here random English fella. You fancy flying out to Kazakhstan for a wee game? The chances are you'll never play for Scotland again as we have many, many left backs that are much better than you, but we're stuck for this one qualifying game". Calm doon. Shinnie at left-back will be absolutely fine.
  49. 5 points
    The Derek McInnes debacle has simply confirmed what most of us already knew; the Banter Years are never going away. As @djchapsticks correctly pointed out in the The Rangers Next Permanent Manager thread: I believe that a full, comprehensive list of these fuckups needs to be kept enshrined somewhere on the internet, and where better to do so than on Pie and Bovril. All contributions welcome, and will be updating the OP with the best of the moments that you can remember from the last 5 years. Let's get the ball rolling, shall we? The Banter Years 2011/12 13th February 2012: Rangers announce their intention to go into Administration. 14th February 2012: Rangers go into Administration and are docked 10 points, ending any hope a title bid. Fans gather outside the gates of Ibrox demanding answers, and one declares to the news cameras that 'the big hoose must stay open!', regardless of what happens next. 16th February 2012: Manager Ally McCoist is interviewed from his car window, defiantly stating that 'we don't do walking away.' 18th February 2012: The fans pack Ibrox to the rafters, looking to send a defiant message to the rest of Scottish football. Kilmarnock beat them 1-0. 3rd March 2012: Rumours surface that Rangers will not be granted a licence to compete in Europe next season, owing to accounts from 2011 not being submitted to UEFA. Little do they realise that, where they're heading, they won't be needing to worry about qualifying for European football any time soon. 5th April 2012: Rangers' debts are estimated to be some £134m, including just shy of £100m owed to HMRC. 7th April 2012: There is a full stadium display at Ibrox, whereby fans are encouraged to 'show a red card to liquidation'. Who can forget this hilarious Union Bears display? 13th May 2012: A consortium - led by Charles Green - agrees to buy the club from Craig Whyte, confident of securing a CVA with HMRC in order to 'preserve the club's history'. 2012/13 12th June 2012: Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (yes, the same Her Majesty who Rangers fans sing their praises of) announce that they will reject the Company Voluntary Agreement that would've spared Rangers from being liquidated. 4th July 2012: Newco Rangers are refused entry into the SPL. The hope is that they will be admitted into the SFL's top tier, Division 1, allowing a swift return to the top flight. 13th July 2012: Rangers instead are ordered to start life in the 3rd Division, at that time the lowest tier of the Scottish football pyramid. 29th July 2012: Rangers need extra time to beat Brechin in the first round of the Ramsdens Cup. The ball also gets stuck on top of the famous Glebe Park hedge. 7th August 2012: Kevin Kyle signs, he later recalls: 'I sat down with the manager and he asked what I was looking for. I just said a crazy figure and almost got what I wanted'. 11th August 2012: Rangers' first game in the 3rd Division ends in a 2-2 draw at Peterhead. They need a last minute equaliser from Andy Little to rescue them from defeat. 18th September 2012: Rangers are knocked out of the Ramsdens Cup on penalties at home to Queen of the South. 6th October 2012: Rangers lose to Stirling Albion, who are not only bottom of the table at the time, but also without a manager for the day, as Greig McDonald is busy getting married. After seven games, Rangers' Third Division record reads played 7, won 3, drawn 3 and lost 1. 23rd November 2012: Elgin City vs Rangers is postponed, after Elgin sell too many tickets and have to call off the game on safety grounds. 2nd December 2012: Rangers beat Elgin 3-0 in the Scottish Cup Fourth Round, but a dancing fan in the away end steals the limelight. 26th December 2012: Clyde fans unveil a banner at Ibrox, wishing Rangers a happy first Christmas. Both in the stadium and after the game, it goes down well. 29th December 2012: Some 30,000 Rangers fans travel to Hampden to play Queens Park. They require a 91st minute winner against ten (amateur) men. Meanwhile, future multi-million pound player Andy Robertson plays a full 90 minutes at left back for Queens Park and escapes the notice of the Rangers scouts. 16th January 2013: Ally McCoist beams proudly, standing with the single greatest bar chart ever produced. 2nd February 2013: Rangers draw Dundee United away in the Scottish Cup fifth round, and the board declares a boycott of Tannadice. 365 Rangers fans turn up anyway and watch United dismantle them 3-0. 3rd April 2013: Francisco Sandaza is sacked after falling for a prank call from a Celtic fan masquerading as an agent, in which he expressed his desire to leave the club. 2013/14 24th July 2013: Rangers lose 1-0 in a friendly at Hillsborough. They unveil the worst banner ever seen, congratulating Prince William and Kate Middleton on having a baby. 3rd August 2013: Nicky Law's claims that Rangers can win the quadruple are extinguished by Forfar Athletic's extra-time victory in the League Cup. 12th September 2013: Ian Black is suspended for 10 games by the SFA after admitting to placing bets on football matches. 22nd September 2013: Rangers exact revenge on Forfar in the league with a 1-0 win. Ally McCoist blames the wind for Rangers not scoring more. 14th December 2013: Stenhousemuir vs Rangers is postponed, it is mistakenly thought at first to have been high winds that caused a burger van blows into a temporary stand at Ochilview. 4th January 2014: Ally McCoist goes to the media and complains about a fixture pile up of 4 games in 11 days, despite his side being 14 points clear at the top and having a wage bill at least 10 times the size of anyone else's in League One. 22nd February 2014: A rare slip up for Rangers in the league as they draw 3-3 at home to Stenhousemuir. Sean Higgins' late equaliser from the penalty spot - and his subsequent celebration - sends Rangers TV commentator Tom Miller into meltdown. 6th April 2014: This can arguably be termed the first big loss of the Banter Years. Rangers, who had players talking up the possibilities of quadruples at the start of this season, lose the Challenge Cup final in extra time against Raith Rovers. 7th April 2014: Furious backlash as Rangers' staff party goes ahead as scheduled. Ally McCoist is caught doing karaoke just hours after loss to Raith. 12th April 2014: Despite being handed home advantage in a Scottish Cup semi final, Rangers lose 3-1 to Dundee United. Simonsen's gift for United's third sums it up. 2014/15 27th June 2014: Kris Boyd returns to Rangers, he winds up scoring just 3 goals in 29 Championship games. He goes on to be brilliant once again at Kilmarnock. 10th August 2014: Rangers find themselves in the Championship with both Hearts and Hibs. On the opening day, trailing 1-0 to Hearts in injury time, they pull a last minute equaliser out of the bag to rescue a point. Except Osman Sow has other ideas, as he runs up the park, slots it past Cammy Bell, and gives Hearts the three points and the springboard to cruise to the title. 3rd September 2014: It is revealed that, in 2012, Mike Ashley bought the naming rights to Ibrox for a quid. 1st November 2014: Rangers progress to the League Cup semi final, and are drawn against Celtic for the first game between the two clubs since 2012. There's a lot of excitement from the watching bears. Little do they realise how sick they'll grow of playing Celtic soon enough. 3rd December 2014: Rangers are 2-0 up at Alloa and cruising into the Petrofac Training Cup final. Alloa score three goals in the last twenty minutes to knock them out. 12th December 2014: Ally McCoist offers his resignation, it's all up in the air for a few days and Rangers eventually confirm this. But he carries on as manager until... 21st December 2014: Ally McCoist is placed on gardening leave. Kenny McDowall, with all the willingness of an Iranian hostage, becomes caretaker. 22nd December 2014: The Rangers AGM to end all Rangers AGMs. Held in a gazebo, fans stuck in the away corner of Ibrox, everybody boos. Just glorious. 27th December 2014: Hibs demolish Rangers 4-0 at Easter Road. Ian Black is substituted before half time, caretaker Kenny McDowall looks lost, and Hearts go 15 points clear at the top. 16th January 2015: Rangers and Hearts meet for a 'top of the table' clash in snowy conditions. The match is quickly abandoned. Protesting Rangers fans then try breaking into Ibrox, in a comedic precursor to the storming of the US Capitol building. 20th January 2015: Jim White interviews Charles Green at his bedside in the hospital. It's bigger than Frost-Nixon. 8th February 2015: Raith Rovers have further cup trouble in store for Rangers, the ground's almost empty and Rangers are dumped out of the Scottish Cup. 7th March 2015: Just a week after Hearts demolish Cowdenbeath 10-0, Rangers can only manage a 0-0 draw against the Blue Brazil. 12th March 2015: Stuart McCall is appointed Rangers manager. He starts off with home draws to relegation fodder Livingston and Alloa. 17th March 2015: In the latter of these two games, an Ibrox attendee is convinced that Alloa are up to no good as usual. 2nd May 2015: Despite comfortably having the biggest budget in the league, Rangers finish third, after a 2-2 draw at champions Hearts. 28th May 2015: After seeing off Queen of the South and Hibs, a full house at Ibrox watches on expectantly as Motherwell win 3-1 in the first leg of the play-off final. 31st May 2015: This is the second big game in the Banter Years. Rangers go to Fir Park knowing anything less than a 2 goal win is insufficient. They lose 3-0 instead, a 6-1 aggregate overall. Here are just some of the incidents that occur: Lee McCulloch nearly has his eye taken out by a flag, Cammy Bell punches a looping ball into his own net, Bilel Mohsni and Lee Erwin get into a post-match scrap, and Motherwell fans invade the pitch to goad the tiny allocation that Rangers were given. Rangers stay in the Championship for a second season, and their grand sweep back to the top flight of Scottish football is derailed. 2015/16 15th June 2015: Mark Warburton becomes Rangers manager. On paper it's a pretty good appointment. 25th July 2015: Rangers get off to a flyer with a 6-2 win over Hibs in the Challenge Cup. A good result, although their fans are preoccupied welcoming Hibs player Scott Allan (who has been linked with them all summer) to their club, just as they did a decade ago with Scott Brown. 13th August 2015: Boyhood Rangers fan Scott Allan ends up joining Celtic instead. Hibs also get Liam Henderson out of the deal, he'll reappear later. 22nd September 2015: Rangers' storming start to the season is finally put on hold by St Johnstone in a 3-1 defeat at Ibrox in the League Cup. 19th December 2015: Despite said start, Rangers chuck away an 8 point lead at the top. A defeat at Falkirk means they're now level on points with Hibs. 10th April 2016: Finally - on attempt number four - Rangers win the Challenge Cup, having wrapped up the league a few days earlier. Things are looking up. 17th April 2016: In the Scottish Cup semi final, Rangers lay down a marker by knocking Celtic out on penalties. This is it. They're back. We've got a title race on next season, and Rangers only have to beat Hibs in the final to secure European football and crown a fantastic season. 21st May 2016: Not so fast. Hibs beat Rangers 3-2 in the Scottish Cup final. I'm biased, but this arguably might be the absolute peak of the Banter Years, solely because of what happens next. David Gray heads in a last minute winner, the full time whistle blows and thousands of Hibs supporters run on the park. A couple of fans goad/mildly irritate Rangers players, who subsequently refuse to collect their runner up medals. A handful of Rangers fans attempt to restore order by going onto the pitch themselves, and scuffles break out. Rangers then release an utter heads gone of a statement, and claims are made that all 11 Rangers players have been attacked. 22nd May 2016: The true dawn of the Statement Era starts here. Rangers, sore from the defeat the day before, double down on their original statement. The website crashes as the whole of Scottish football attempts to get on and read it. 2016-17 24th May 2016: Rangers sign Joey Barton. Joey Barton immediately goes on the offensive promising all sorts of 'I'll take on Celtic single-handedly' stuff. 6th August 2016: Rangers fans unveil a big stadium display promising that they're 'GOING FOR 55'. Mark Warburton admits a few years later that his 'heart sank' when he saw the display, as it was a hugely optimistic goal. They proceed to draw 1-1 at home to Hamilton Accies. 19th August 2016: Joey 'this Scottish football lark is easy' Barton meets Killie left back Greg Taylor, who takes a red card for the team in every sense of the phrase. 20th August 2016: Rangers sign Joe Garner for £1.8m, their first £1m+ signing of the Banter Years. He doesn't even last a year. 10th September 2016: Rangers go to Parkhead for the first time since 2012, they lose 5-1. Moussa Dembélé bags a hat-trick and the gap looks very wide. 13th September 2016: In attempts at 'clear the air' talks after the defeat, Joey Barton and Andy Halliday get into a massive spat. Barton is sent home from training. 19th September 2016: Marquee summer signing Joey Barton is banned from training for 3 weeks. 25th September 2016: Rangers go to Pittodrie, James Maddison curls in a last minute winner for the Dons. Warburton rages about the free kick being given. 10th November 2016: Joey Barton leaves Rangers, with his autobiography firmly promoted. 16th November 2016: Martyn Waghorn, carrying a fish supper, is called "shite" by a schoolchild. Waghorn confronts the kid, who doesn't back down. It goes viral on Twitter. 23rd December 2016: Rangers fans hijack the generic Glad All Over chant to serenade Joey Garner, they try to take it to #1 in the Christmas charts. In their infinite delusion, they believe that they're close to doing so, when in fact they've only managed to get the song to 31st. 1st February 2017: Ian Cathro's Hearts beat Rangers 4-1. That is not a typo. 10th February 2017: Mark Warburton resigns. Except he hasn't. Except he has. Except he hasn't. Except he has. This goes on all night, and eventually it's revealed that Warburton tried to jump ship to Forest and the Rangers board called his bluff. All in all, it's a PR farce and Warburton slinks off. More statements released. 19th February 2017: Murtymania is running wild. Graeme Murty is the new caretaker manager and he leads his Rangers side to a defeat at Dens Park, their first in twenty games against Dundee. He inexplicably does a headstand. Hilarity ensues. 24th February 2017: Bottom club Inverness Caledonian Thistle also beat Murty's Rangers. It feels like everyone's getting in on the act now. 11th March 2017: Pedro Caixinha becomes Rangers manager on a three-year deal. His first task is to watch Rangers take another pumping at Celtic Park, but wait... 12th March 2017: A late Clint Hill goal rescues a point from Parkhead! The ballgirl behind the goals doesn't seem best pleased about it. Murty is now the messiah in the eyes of Rangers fans for drawing with Celtic, which shows just how low standards have fallen. 7th May 2017: Rangers beat Partick Thistle to secure a Europa League spot. Having spent a year moralising about pitch invasions, dozens of bears now spill onto the Firhill pitch to celebrate. 'The Banter Years are over!', they proclaim. 17th May 2017: Aberdeen win at Ibrox for the first time in 26 years, another proud Rangers record falls by the wayside. For levity, here's a Rangers fan making the most of their opportunity - running away from the ground with the ball when it comes to them. 21st May 2017: Rangers' 'Going for 55' season ends with them limping to 3rd, as close to St Johnstone in 4th as they are to Aberdeen in 2nd. Caixinha is kept on. 2017/18 19th June 2017: Rangers - starting their European journey with hopes of the group stages - are drawn against Progrès Niederkorn, minnows of the Luxembourg league. 29th June 2017: In mildly embarrassing circumstances, Rangers only win 1-0 at home in the first leg of their first European adventure in six years. The fans also throw paper aeroplanes at the Progrès keeper and will eventually be fined by UEFA for this. Anyway, they should surely have enough to get past Progrès out in Luxembourg? 4th July 2017: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Rangers lose 2-0 on the night and crash out of the Europa League 2-1 on aggregate at the very first hurdle. This is the JFK moment of the Banter Years, everyone will remember where they were. Pedro Caixinha is seen standing in a hedge, arguing with fans. 12th August 2017: Rangers welcome Hibs to Ibrox for the first match between the two sides since the 2016 Scottish Cup final. The fans smell blood and with Neil Lennon in charge of Hibs this has the feel of an Old Firm game. Remarkably it's kept off TV, but Hibs win 3-2 (again) and Neil Lennon gestures to the fans. 13th August 2017: Club 1872 suffer a severe cranial detachment about said gestures and release a statement applauding their fans for not being provoked. 22nd October 2017: Rangers, still on the hunt for their first bit of major silverware, take on Motherwell in the League Cup semi final, and lose 2-0. This is not really what any of their fans had expected, despite Louis Moult being a far better footballer than anything they have to offer. During the game, there are two elbows that go unpunished. Bruno Alves elbows Moult, while Rangers' Fábio Cardoso suffers a broken nose from a RyanBowman elbow and, you guessed it... 24th October 2017: Rangers suffer a severe cranial detachment as Bruno Alves is given a two game ban, while Bowman somehow gets off with nothing. 26th October 2017: After snatching a draw from the jaws of victory at home to Kilmarnock, Pedro Caixinha is sacked. A loyal servant to the Banter Years. 18th November 2017: Graeme Murty, somehow still in charge as caretaker of Rangers at this point as they've not bothered to replace Caixinha, oversees a 2-0 defeat at home to Hamilton Academical. It's the first time they've lost a league match at Ibrox against Accies in 91 years. 24th November 2017: Not to be outdone by his last stint as Rangers caretaker, Murty travels to the bottom club on a Friday night and loses 2-1. Again. 3rd December 2017: Graeme Murty guides Rangers to back-to-back victories in the space of a week over Derek McInnes' Aberdeen to move Rangers into second. 4th December 2017: But what's this? After 5 weeks of deliberation, Rangers have decided that they want Derek McInnes as their manager. The media tapping up goes into overdrive, it appears that Rangers have got their man until... 7th December 2017: Derek McInnes decides to stay at Aberdeen, Rangers release a pathetic 'didn't want him anyway' statement and use the word concomitant. 8th December 2017: In Aberdeen's next match, their fans unveil a banner reading 'Concomitant you Reds'. 11th March 2018: Celtic go to Ibrox with Rangers knowing that a win for them will take them just 3 points behind, the title race is on when Josh Windass fires Rangers into a lead. With the game delicately poised at 2-2, Celtic are reduced to ten men. Surely this is the moment for Rangers to pounce? No, Édouard scores and 10 man Celtic win 3-2. 15th April 2018: But Rangers have one more chance to stop Celtic's double treble in their tracks. Instead, Celtic cruise to the sort of victory now becoming alarmingly familiar to Rangers fans. It finishes 4-0. Meanwhile, boyhood Rangers fan Andy Halliday is substituted before half time, and Daniiel Candeias storms down the tunnel when he's taken off. Celtic are now undefeated in ten derbies. 17th April 2018: Captain Lee Wallace and veteran striker Kenny Miller are suspended after an altercation with Graeme Murty. The club is in turmoil. 24th April 2018: Hibs cut Rangers' away allocation at Easter Road for the final game of the season. Rangers release a late night statement full of tears and snotters, swearing revenge on Hibs for having the audacity to turn away the blue pound. It's not the first statement about Hibs that Jim Traynor has scrawled in crayon. 29th April 2018: As long as Rangers can avoid defeat at Parkhead, Celtic will not be able to win the title against their bitter rivals. This plan falls apart as Celtic race to a 5-0 lead within 53 minutes. Quite honestly, Celtic taking their foot off the gas is all that stops it being much, much worse for the Ibrox side. 1st May 2018: Graeme Murty is removed from his position as Rangers manager. Just who does Dave King turn to now? 4th May 2018: Steven Gerrard is appointed as the next manager of Rangers, with much pomp and fanfare from the Ibrox club. 13th May 2018: Rangers, who famously refuse to settle for second best, are forced to settle for third for the second consecutive season. They end on a high note, drawing 5-5 with Hibs at Easter Road in a match that went from the hosts being 3-0 up, to Rangers leading 5-3, to Jamie Maclaren rescuing a point with a last minute equaliser. Neil Lennon, a permanent thorn in Rangers' side, celebrates Hibs' last minute equaliser by pretending that he is an aeroplane. 2018/19 5th August 2018: A late equaliser from Aberdeen's Bruce Anderson denies Steven Gerrard his first three points as Rangers manager. He's not worried, though, as he proclaims that Rangers are 'a class above' Aberdeen - a quote that may reemerge later. Alfredo Morelos earns his first of three red cards against Aberdeen this season. 12th August 2018: A full stadium display is planned for Rangers' first domestic home game under Gerrard, the message is simple: 'Our Club, Our City'. Unfortunately, it gets leaked again, and the visiting St Mirren fans take full advantage. 23rd August 2018: Rangers have made a flying start to the Gerrard era. In a pre-match press conference days before their game at Fir Park, Motherwell captain Peter Hartley remarks that seeing Fábio Cardoso break his nose in last season's League Cup semi final 'was fun to watch, the way he was weeping.' He is forced to apologise. 26th August 2018: Peter Hartley scores an injury time header to snatch a point against Rangers. 28th October 2018: After all sorts of ticketing rows and statements, Rangers meet Aberdeen in the League Cup semi final. With Celtic having beaten Hearts earlier in the day, Rangers know that they are 90 minutes away from a first Old Firm final since 2011. Once again, it doesn't go to plan. Lewis Ferguson, son of Rangers forward Derek, gets the late winner for Aberdeen. 8th November 2018: It's another heads gone statement from Rangers, and they don't even have the guts to tweet it through fear of ridicule. Daniel Candeias is (admittedly ridiculously) sent off by Willie Collum the previous Saturday, and upon finding out that their appeal is unsuccessful, the toys go out of the pram once again. 29th December 2018: Rangers win 1-0 against Celtic. Joyous scenes at Ibrox. They've finally seen off their bitter foe and the title race is on! 5th January 2019: With a three-way duel between Celtic, Rangers and Kilmarnock on the cards, Rangers take preventative steps and sign Jordan Jones from Kilmarnock. They won't need his services until the summer, however, so they opt to sign him on a pre-contract. There's always a risk with these deals that the player gets injured, or worse... 23rd January 2019: Jordan Jones scores the winner against his future club and deals their title hopes a massive blow in the process, as Kilmarnock beat Rangers 2-1 at Rugby Park. On social media, pockets of Rangers fans demand that his contract is torn up immediately. 3rd March 2019: Aberdeen hold Rangers to a draw in their Scottish Cup quarter final. They'll meet again a week on Tuesday at Ibrox, with Aberdeen in Glasgow to play Celtic just 72 hours earlier. It seems unlikely that Derek McInnes could pull off a third win in Glasgow over Rangers in a single season, something that no Aberdeen manager has ever done before. 12th March 2019: Rangers lose 2-0 to Aberdeen in the replay and crash out of the Scottish Cup. Aberdeen, a club previously synonymous with bottling games against the Old Firm in Glasgow, have now knocked Rangers out of both cup competitions. After 29 games, Rangers have only one point more in the league than they did last season. The natives are growing restless. 16th March 2019: The Vanguard Bears, a lovely bunch of people, organise a protest outside BBC Scotland's headquarters. They fail to account for the horrendous weather forecasted, and about thirty people stand behind a banner in the howling wind and rain. Meanwhile on the pitch, Kilmarnock have possession but luckily 'they're not going anywhere really'. The game ends 1-1. Steven Gerrard's interview with Rangers TV is Cathro levels of bad. 2019/20 18th July 2019: Rangers and Progrès Niederkorn are reacquainted in the Europa League once again. 13th Nov 2019: It emerges that the Banter Years might've been based on HMRC messing up a tax bill. Rangers supporters are...slightly hacked off by this. 15th Nov 2019: After a couple of days of pious indignation from the Rangers support, HMRC's response firmly shuts down this suggestion. 8th Dec 2019: Rangers and Celtic meet in the League Cup Final. It is surely now a chance for Rangers to finally show that they're back and win silverware. They simply batter Celtic for the first hour without managing to score. Celtic somehow score on the counter with an offside goal. Rangers win a penalty and Celtic are reduced to ten men. Captain Tavernier soils himself and gives the ball to Alfredo 'has never scored against Celtic' Morelos, who promptly hits a weak penalty that man-of-the-match Fraser Forster saves well. Celtic go on to win their tenth consecutive trophy. Rangers are heartbroken, Ryan Jack is on the brink of tears at full time. 29th Dec 2019: In a turn up for the books, Rangers beat Celtic away from home for the first time since 2010. It's an excellent performance, and the Gers are now two points behind Celtic with a game in hand. However, its place in this thread is justified by the antics of Alfredo 'has never scored against Celtic' Morelos. Through on goal in the last minute of the game and with the chance to end his drought, the Colombian forward promptly dives to the floor and fools absolutely nobody. He receives and second yellow and, as he leaves the park, makes a cutting-his-throat gesture at the Celtic fans. 30th Dec 2019: To prove that they are as dignified in victory as they are in defeat, Rangers release a statement. It covers topics such as criticising Kevin Clancy's refereeing performance, calling for the introduction of VAR into Scottish football, and excusing Morelos' gesture under the grounds that it is simply 'South American'. 26th Jan 2020: Rangers' traditional January slump continues with a defeat at bottom club Hearts, giving Tynecastle boss Daniel Stendel his first league win. Rangers' precious game in hand has been squandered before they even had the chance to play it. A Hearts fan does Ryan Kent a belter and a camera is on hand to capture the moment. 29th Jan 2020: News breaks that a man has tampered with Alfredo Morelos' car. Many Rangers fans immediately take to the internet to moralise, not just against the (presumed) Celtic fan guilty for this action, but also against pundits with an "anti-Rangers agenda", such as Chris Sutton. At first, this seems like a very serious incident that has no place on this list, until... 1st Feb 2020: A Sunday Mail exclusive drops late on Saturday night, which claims that the car tamperer in question is in fact a private investigator that Morelos' pregnant wife had hired because of suspicions that he was cheating on her. One can almost hear the sound of thousands of Rangers keyboards simultaneously hitting the backspace button. Oh, and this comes after Rangers are held to a frustrating 0-0 draw at home by a bang average Aberdeen side. 12th Feb 2020: Rangers lose 2-1 to Kilmarnock, courtesy of a late Eamonn Brophy winner at Rugby Park. Killie have by now unquestionably taken the baton from Hibs as the club who seem to exist purely to annoy Rangers. Gerrard's side are now ten points behind Celtic, and the title race now appears to be over. 26th Feb 2020: The league might be over, but there's plenty of cause for optimism in Europe. Having beaten Braga both at home and away, Rangers are into the last 16 of the Europa League. The very next night, Celtic are knocked out of the same tournament by F.C. Copenhagen. Even a tough draw against Bayer Leverkusen the following day can't damp the spirits of the Rangers support. 29th Feb 2020: A Scottish Cup quarter final defeat against bottom club Hearts, however? Yeah, that might do it. Daniel Stendel earns just his fourth win as manager (the others coming against third tier Airdrieonians and Falkirk) with a 1-0 victory over the Ibrox side. Both Tavernier and McGregor are at fault for the goal. Gerrard is verging on inconsolable in his interview. 4th Mar 2020: Rangers suffer their second league defeat at home to Hamilton Accies in three years. As mentioned previously, before these defeats they had not lost at home to Accies in the league since 1926. David Moyo benefits from Connor Goldson's generosity to score the only goal as Accies leave Govan with three points. As Hearts' win at Hibs 24 hours earlier had lifted them off the bottom, Rangers' defeat to Accies means they have suffered back-to-back defeats against the bottom side in the SPFL Premiership in the space of just four days. This is made all the funnier by many of those inside Ibrox carrying out a minute's applause in the eighth minute to honour manager Steven Gerrard. By the full time whistle, many Rangers fans want Gerrard gone. YouTube vlogger 'Thogden' is on hand to capture the seethe.
  50. 5 points
    .....going past S and seeing the Solomon Islands, San Marino, South Sudan, St Vincent & The Grenadines etc and wondering how they manage to cope - the currency, pensions etc....
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