Leaderboard

This is even worse than the pre-season we got shipwrecked.

“WHY SIM NO SPEND £700K ON STRIKER INSTED OF PITCH?” said Frank conner as he drooled on his keyboard.

Piss aff ya gimp

Can we get this circulated and ask people to sign to indicate that they understand?

Stop jumping to conclusions. You fucking welt.

Seven frickin days until the new season starts - the time it takes Ganymede (the 9th largest object in the Solar System) to orbit Jupiter.

You're welcome lads. Free money for oor Shanksy. Beautiful man that he is.

Aw fucking shut up.

Eh? I actually think you revel in the Rovers being shite. Sitting there giving your twanger an angry wee thrap.

Mate we’ve basically had your squad and trust me it’s pish

f**k me!!!! Near gave me a heart attack! First post at the top of the new page, and for a split second I thought we'd brought big Kev home to Dens. Was about to phone McCann and offer him first dibs on my missus.

Thats Haber signed. Thanks Dees. We will look after him and use him to keep the Dabs in line. Thank you #DunKirk

Lol wut

I've seen Steaua Bucharest and Red Star Belgrade win the European Cup. They'll never get close again. I don't imagine we'll see Brugge, Malmo, Partizan Belgrade or Panathanaikos in another final either. Dutch clubs have won it six times and been runners-up twice; it's been a long time since any of them troubled the business end of the Champions League, because their country is too small to generate the TV cash. I don't know about you, but I miss Ajax. And will we ever see a French club win it without whoring themselves to some dodgy regime? Obviously we'll never, ever see Celtic in the final again either, or Dundee Utd in the semis, or Aberdeen winning the second-tier trophy. TV cash has ruined European football.

I’ll just leave this here.... Hoo hoo hoo!!!!

Good to see Ayr back in this league. My first ever football game was Alloa v Ayr at the Recs Ayr won and I think they won the second division that year, round about 1987. Ive always had a soft spot for them apart from the couple of years they were better than Falkirk. Anyway good luck this year.

To finish bottom of a group containing Cove and Cowdenbeath is an embarrassment

I would pay to watch a team of 11 lightly disguised Lee Millers.

Nats cock?

Decent East Fife performance but 2 terrible goals knocked everyone’s confidence.free header from a corner and awful pass back.If we can keep Kevin Smith fit he will make a big difference this season.Also think Craig Watson looks a lot fitter this year.In my opinion Court has to show a bit more if he wants to be a regular starter.

Ill take a good guess at it. Fasan McGhee Harrison Dallison Robson Petra Paton Toe Greenwood Lewis Haber

Early pictures released of Dowds goal!!!

I've just witnessed one of the best goals I've seen here in years, Anton tonking it in from about 30 yards!!! East Fife 1-0 Falkirk Anton Dowds (24 mins)

I’m loathed to be too critical when our posters are actually being positive for a change, but we’ve just been comprehensively beaten by Motherwell with Dobbie and Harkins in the team so lets not get too carried away.

Die in a fire.

In 2010, I wrote a novel in seven weeks. I then spent the next year editing it and rewriting it. In 2011, I sent it to Canongate who liked it but rejected it. It's sat on my hard drive since then. This year, I decided to send it to a small indie publisher in town over here and they're going to publish it. I'm ridiculously excited about this but for different reason than I had when I imagined this happening back then. In the last eight years I've made my peace with the fact that I'm not going to be a world-famous author, that I'm not going to make millions out of writing. The fact that I'm going to have a physical copy of my work, that a copy of it will be in the library of Congress long after I've departed, that I'm going to do local readings and book signings is more than enough for me now. Look out for The Scottish Book of the Dead, probably some time in 2019. In the meantime, the short story that inspired me to develop it into a longer (and very different) piece can be found here: https://edebookfest.wordpress.com/short-stories/the-scottish-book-of-the-dead-by-gavin-broom/

Criticising the goals is a new one. What type of goals would you have been happy with? Personally I would've liked one like Ibrahimovic's overhead kick against England and possibly a Van Basten for the other one. How often have you seen a team lose heavily then go on and lose their next game heavily? Rarely. I'm not going full suicidal just yet until a few games into the season when I can properly judge where we are at.

Two photos from the Herald showing the games which derailed our fine 79-80 season (where we topped the league with a part time team). Firstly - 8/12/79 - Bobby Thomson is sent off for allegedly head-butting Sandy Jardine. Fans who were near the incident told that the players eyeballed each other then Jardine went down like a ton of bricks. Six match suspension for Thomson, whilst Jardine was subjected to choruses of "cheat cheat" any time he played us - even as a sub for Hearts years later. Loads of fighting at the game, a smoke bomb on the pitch (a proper one, not your modern crappy pyro stuff) and a number of unconscious bodies being carried along the pitch side. Rangers went on to win 1-0. Secondly - 22/12/79 - a top of the table clash at Parkhead. Score was 1-1 and Morton were more than holding their own. Dom Sullivan leaves the field of play then comes back on to score from an offside position. The Morton players surround the referee protesting the award of the goal and a few of the team are booked. They lose their way and Celtic go on to win 3-1. Jim Holmes is later sent off for swearing at a linesman. We never recovered from these games and ended up 6th. On a lighter note - here's the programmes from out solitary European venture. Chelsea won the first leg 5-0 and the second leg 4-3.

Why are we even chatting play offs? We are winning the league simple as that.

Yes laboured. We played tippy tappy pish as usual, our attackers were non existent as usual. Considering the opponents, it was nowhere near what should be expected. The performance simply wasnt good enough, anyone who was there should be saying that.

Starting this pish already. Fucksake.

David gold was a Todd lumsden masterstroke, but as always no one gives Todd the credit he deserves

Get it absolutely round ye scott.

Curran was excellent. Kerr is going to have to stay at LB or find another position going by Jesse's last two performances. 3 decent pops at goal for a right back is not bad. It looks like he's been encouraged to do it, either that or he's not shy to have a dig. Ngwatala and Madianga are going to be the fucking boys for us this season.

I'm sorry, but only managing to win one game against the group whipping boys and finishing fourth with 3 lower league teams involved is unacceptable.

2 goals and Brechin keeper motm…….real enough for me

Because everything's magically going to get better next week. Of course it is.

What a goal !!!

Our squad might well prove to be absolutely gantin. Bit at least it's new pish. Not some guy who came through hearts youth system and has spent the past 4 seasons jobbing for Stranraer and Raith. If this lot are pish we'll try again with a new mob of them later. As long as we don't go fucking about with an M8/M9 scouting system ever again I'm happy.

Hello everybody. You'll all be pleased to know I am not dead and will be returning with my usual witty posts and fantastic insights into the Scottish game,

Pittodrie surrounded by mist from the North Sea

Kamara says he's delighted to still be at Dundee and has no thoughts of leaving.

Around 9,500 in the game at Firhill. I think the score was 0-0 as I remember little about it apart from the large crowd. Replay was probably one of my favourite ever Thistle games despite us getting beat. End to end stuff and the atmosphere was electric.

Daily Record from seven days ago. “Rangers midfielder Greg Docherty isn't on my radar insists Sunderland boss Jack Ross” Daily Record from today. “One player heading out the door on a loan deal is midfielder Greg Docherty and it’s understood Sunderland and Rotherham are keen on him” It’s almost like the make shit up to pander to fans of the ugly sisters.

Maybe some Rangers fans with long memories had told him about the league game at Ibrox in September 1959. Midway through the 2nd half with Ayr 3-0 up, our number 10, Sam McMillan, sat on the ball and pretended to tie his laces. Went down well with the Ibrox faithful !

Nobody cares what you think

This is the stage at which I was planning to say, ''But he DID say that he'd be seen ALIVE in a St. Mirren shirt.'' However, Buddist Monk quickly pre-empted that particular joke. The humour would feel far too forced if I implemented it now. It's a bit of a shame because it would have been a really amusing moment.

Good to see that Dundee fans don't seem pleased at losing him. Refreshing change from fans of other clubs coming on to tell us we have signed a donkey.

Don't expect him to be running about like a madman working his arse off but if you feed him I reckon he'll score for fun in the Championship. I'd rather have kept him over Moussa tbh.