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Last summer you were a child called Martin...

You're a f*cking bellend. Truth.

I'm learning French and only drinking wine today. Merci.

Had a wee walk up to San Starko, progress photo -

That's a hell of an understatement. I don't care if he's guaranteed a 100 goals a season, the club should stay well, well away.

Does Shandon spend more time on here than he does the Dunfermline page? Big team found I reckon

Enjoyed looking back at the May 17th memories, images and videos. Part of that reminiscing brought me to this article that I wrote for the club website three years ago, marking the first anniversary of that extraordinary day and weekend. Apologies for the lengthy post, but here it is... As we celebrate the first anniversary of St. Johnstone’s maiden victory in the Scottish Cup, it is truly hard to believe that a full 12 months have now passed. Indeed, that is a bit of a cliché. People often say the same whenever a birthday comes round, or in the weeks building-up to Christmas. However, it would be fair to say that the 17th of May 2014 goes beyond that for all Saints fans. It certainly does for this supporter. The memories are so vivid and detailed - simply because they are relived in the mind on an almost daily basis. The sights, sounds and emotions can all be fully recalled as we reflect on that extraordinary day. The whole occasion was rather overwhelming. The ultimate dream throughout the years of following Saints was to win the Scottish Cup. It was the pinnacle. The cup final has always been *the* game of the season - the showpiece and marquee fixture - and the fact that Saints were part of it was certainly difficult to comprehend. It didn’t truly sink in until the teams came out for the warmup at Celtic Park. Like any football club, there have been so many highs and lows in the history of St. Johnstone. Relegations, promotions, European adventures and despairing nights at the likes of Berwick and Montrose, there had been everything you could imagine for supporters to look back on in the pubs and buses together. Well, almost. The one caveat to the history of the Perth Saints had been the absence of a major trophy. It led to ridicule from supporters of other clubs, and an enduring sense of underachievement and frustration from those wearing blue and white scarves. That tangible sense of exasperation only grew over the years with each passing defeat in a semi-final – eight of them featuring in the Scottish Cup. That was something dispelled after the semi-final against Aberdeen at Ibrox. There was a release of energy after years of pent-up disappointment under the rainy Glasgow sky; at the conclusion of that dramatic second half. As the talismanic Stevie May fired in those two brilliant goals, the demons of so many crushing afternoons had finally been exorcised. St. Johnstone had vanquished that eternal barrier and reached the showpiece. One thing that was always in the forefront of the mind in the days leading up to the final was a sense of good fortune. We were the lucky ones who would be present to see it. In 130 years of history, there were generations – tens of thousands of Saints supporters who never lived to witness their dream come true. That was certainly a powerful emotion for many in attendance. Very powerful. Personally, the prominence of that sentiment was partly the result of attending the final with a very close friend; whose father (a Saints supporter of decades) had sadly passed away just a few months prior. He would have so dearly loved to have experienced that momentous occasion in Glasgow. It was an all-too close reminder of the inherent cruelty and unfairness of life, but also of the importance that football can play throughout it for so many people. The magical escapism of the game. Pantomime for adults. Many in attendance were representing deceased friends and relatives. Sons and daughters standing for their parents, middle-aged men who had never forgotten their grandfather who introduced them to the terraces of Muirton, and even those familiar faces who had sadly long disappeared from the East Stand at McDiarmid. In a way, that almost placed a sense of responsibility onto the shoulders of the lucky 15,000 who were all privileged to be present inside Celtic Park on that afternoon. We were representing the history of the club and all those who had come to love and support it throughout the past century and beyond. Now all we needed was the team to actually go on and win it. Easier said than done, and there weren’t any real expectations as to what to expect from the match. Hopeful, at best. Perhaps that was a result of being unable to comprehend the idea of Saints somehow lifting the trophy. But it was possible. From a footballing perspective, there was certainly no reason why it couldn’t happen. It was the largest Saints crowd that anyone had ever seen. An historic total befitting the magnitude of the occasion. From all over the world, people bought into the final. That in itself was special to see, and it was an incredible experience to soak in the atmosphere of the Jock Stein Stand – which was soon to be christened the Steven MacLean End. Being an unashamed sentimentalist when it comes to everything St. Johnstone, there were a few tears at the start of the warmup as the team emerged from the famous tunnel on a rainy afternoon at one of the great arenas in football. The first of many, it has to be said. As the stadium began to fill and the anticipation grew, the nerves flourished in tandem. However, an unexpected sense of calm and acceptance came in the minutes leading up to kick-off – during the spectacle of thousands of Saints fans waving their scarves during the prolonged and spine-tingling Espana chant. It was mesmerising to be part of not just a support of that size – but of a crowd that was so vocally and fervent in their backing of St. Johnstone. It made the whole experience worthwhile. No matter what was to follow. Those few minutes were intoxicating and significant. And yes, there were some more tears. Throughout personal strife, illness and worry, St Johnstone, and the Scottish Cup dream, had always been a constant and thoroughly enjoyable distraction in life. And as the expectant 47,000 in the stadium rose from their seats to welcome the two Tayside clubs - as the team came out of that tunnel - in blue – it almost felt like that dream had in a way already been fulfilled. We were ready. So much about the day and the experience is vivid in the memory – but the actual match is a blur with only a few (admittedly pretty memorable) moments of genuine clarity. Thankfully we have the DVD to fill any blanks. One thing that is clear was the heart-stopping instant when Ryan Dow of Dundee United’s effort on goal clipped off the inside of Alan Mannus’ left-hand post, and – somehow – avoided rebounding off the goalkeeper’s back as the ball trickled along the line. It was inexplicable. And so the belief grew. As Steven Anderson – the dictionary definition of a stalwart – headed the ball into a gaping net to make that crucial breakthrough just before half-time, the scenes of celebration were beyond jubilant in the stands. Leading in the cup final. We didn’t quite know how to react to being in that position. The corner of a teary eye spotted Tommy Wright - whose exuberant celebrations had been a highlight of the cup run - charging down the touchline in impassioned and unrestrained delight. The manager was channelling the emotions that every fan was experiencing inside the stadium and beyond at that moment. During half-time, as supporters continued to digest Ando’s goal, the tannoy system began to play Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer. The lyrics: “Whoa, we're half way there” had never carried so much weight. The second-half was unpredictable and emotionally tumultuous for every fan. Dundee United came close to scoring on a number of occasions, while David Wotherspoon almost produced a wonder goal after weaving magically through an assortment of defenders, before Stevie May saw a celebratory moment of his own correctly chalked off for hand-ball. However, the star-striker would ultimately play a defining role in the final, as his pass deflected into the path of a determined Steven MacLean, who beat an onrushing Radoslaw Cierzniak to slot the ball into the goal in-front of the masses of St. Johnstone supporters; etching his name forever in the history of the club and Scottish football. As everyone around celebrated manically with the elusive trophy being all-but clinched, this particular supporter stood in stunned disbelief. Was this really happening? On the outside, it was certainly the least animated of goal celebrations. However, on the inside, it was anything but. Innumerable emotions flowed through the head as tears ran down the cheeks. It was a truly transcendent experience. The final-whistle was the cue for emotional embraces all round – with the dreams of thousands being collectively fulfilled at the same time as Dave Mackay triumphantly raised the oldest trophy in world football. It was the culmination of a journey for all supporters. For some it had been just a few years, while for others it had been decades. The parade on the Sunday was the proverbial icing on the cake. Getting into the town early, and seeing the crowds slowly build-up on the high street – the numbers surpassing even the most optimistic expectations – there was a sense of civic unity. St. Johnstone had brought the city and county together in collective joy. Those striking scenes were the conclusion of a remarkable few weeks in Perth. In the build-up to the final – the response from the city was truly something to behold. The displays, banners, flags, signs, bunting and even, of course, the giant grouse at Broxden Roundabout that was all kitted out. It was a shame to see it all have to come down. Strangely – and it may have been an uncommon experience – there was a quiet sense of sadness as the dust settled on that surreal weekend. It might have been a result of emotional exhaustion, but there was a feeling of emptiness on that Sunday evening. It was a wearied realisation that no matter what future successes are to hopefully come – this Scottish Cup victory would forever be the pinnacle for this generation of supporters. It would quite simply never be topped. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. We were the privileged few to have been living witnesses of such an incredible weekend. It was a win for us in attendance – and all of those who had come before to follow the Perth Saints in previous eras at the Recreations Grounds, Muirton and McDiarmid. It was also a triumph for the generations of fans to come in future. This will be the date and achievement that they will celebrate and commemorate in future decades, in the same mould as Celtic’s European Cup victory in 1967. The Scottish Cup winning side – led by Tommy Wright – are our Lisbon Lions, and they will be rightly remembered and revered as such. It will forever be the date for all Saints supporters to look back on - present and future. 17th of May 2014. The greatest day.

Bang on. Many of us lived through the years of these insufferable bigots gloating and ramming it down our throats, whilst also claiming that they knew that everyone hated them but they didn't care. Quite ironic that now the penny has dropped that every team in Scotland despises them, every team in Scotland is laughing at them and no team in Scotland needs them, they now decide they care about being hated and claim they are being victimised. Get it right up ye!

I'm quite happy with the last 2 days, not neccisarily because of the cailbre of players, we've not idea, but because it really seems like Dundee have a plan for the summer. Bringing Kharl in for the last week of the season on trial shows, again, that they've been planning for next season for a while. If it means Kamara is off, then the succession planning is impressive. If Kamara stays, the two of them look like they could be a solid pivot in the middle of the park. Kharl looks to have slightly more drive forward based on the single video online, but we all know they never tell the full picture. Mccanns got a plan. It's going to be a fun summer.

We're gonna be Derby County circa 1997-1998. Excellent stuff. I am drinking beer in the office. Thank you.

It's the 18th of May, cmoan.

With immediate effect, if we ever sign a player who doesn’t have a Duke of Edinburgh award and/or sang in the church choir as a youth then I won’t be back.

KNOWS HIS STUFF

Will there be a ceremonial sod cutting on the new £150k toilet block.

Would it be sad if a 30+ was there with his/her dad?

78 days until the new season starts - the length of Frank De Boer's managerial career at Crystal Palace

My view is based on the opinion of a Judge who interviewed 20 witnesses over the course of 10 days. Seems a more reasonable approach than “Y U BULEEV DRUNK GURL???”

Don’t even answer that FUD he’s An ugly wee man and a grass into the bargain.

The town of Ayr has continually failed to put a credible senior team together for over 100 years; quite why anyone expects one of their county's bumpkin villages to do any better from tier 7 or 8 is a mystery.

Remember that time where everyone enjoyed their thread being taken over by tedious St Johnstone/Dundee posts? Me neither.

5/10 for Thursday And 0/10 Klaxon!! 0/10 for Friday

Just enough to cover the next Nigerian banker that comes calling.

There are guys that had us relegated with half the season to go.

That’s it pretty much confirmed lads.

I'm sending double the amount of thoughts and prayers this time as the last lot I sent didn't work.

My laddie plays for the club and is really looking forward to the move. He came through the boys club and would have loved a U20s league, is looking forward to playing at new grounds and is hoping for a chance to play in the big Scottish in the future

I'm not getting carried away, but if we don't have the league won by February, win the League and Scottish cups and win the Irn Bru Cup or whatever the f**k it's called now I would be a tad disappointed.

I just want green dots tbh.

What a time to be alive.

This is Dexter. We had to get him put down on Tuesday and it broke my heart. House is just too quiet now. Might look to take on a rescue dog, but we'll leave it a bit first.

Good to have this one answered, I've been wondering about this for a few weeks. I will be buying my first Dumbarton season ticket in a few weeks and have a few more questions if people can help me out. I'll be purchasing a Parent and Child season ticket but some weeks will be taking my 2 kids along so will pay at the gate to get the extra one in on the day. What do I do if the seats next to my 2 are also reserved season tickets? Just sit somewhere else I guess? What is the physical form of the season ticket? Is it a card, book with match tokens etc? The Sons Trust, do I need to join separately? How much does that cost and what perks does it provide? Away games, does the club put on supporters buses or anything or do you guys just make your own way? I assume away games are just pay at the gate and never any issue getting in? Probably some stupid questions in there but I've been used to Celtic season tickets and going to away grounds in the top tier so not entirely sure how it all works at this level. Can't wait to get involved though.

Already there, but we need to add a urinal to each dressing room which will cost £50k each. You can come along and officially open them with an inaugural pish if you like?

It's not even people who manage to go to most games though. As I live in the South of England the opportunities for me to attend matches are very limited - I try to make at least one or two each season but there is no way I would describe myself as a part-time supporter. I was born in Dumbarton and I have supported the team for over 40 years. I read P&B and the official site every day and I judge myself every much a Sons fan (and always will) as someone who has the luck to attend every game.

Half hoping the Well Bois unveil a Congratulations Harry and Meghan tifo before kick-off.

Well we do already own him.

It’s a strange but pleasant phenomenon that the vast majority of the denizens of P&B are spot on on issue such as Scottish Independence, the parasitic royals, Trump, etc. If there was a global disaster and the only folk left were P&B posters then it would not be too bad* * terms and conditions apply.

im not getting carried away with signings this year. last year I was excited about seeing loy and Austin tearing the league up and they got about 2 goals between them all season. so hoping to be calm this year and pleasantly surprised

French Elton & French Kharl What a tag team.

Why don’t you piss off as well another one obsessed with the mighty dee.

I clocked on Twitter last night that Ian Murray has apparently applied for the manager's job at Cliftonhill. That could (and I stress could here) be a really good appointment. When he came in at the Rock he totally professionalised everything - players had their diets managed, ate lunch together pre-match and turned up in club suits. I know it might sound a bit old-fashioned and weird, but his professionalism played a huge role in changing our season around. Suddenly the collection of part-time jobbers (mainly) were being treated (and asked to behave like) full-time Premier League guys, and it played a massive part in our impossible escape. He then built one of the most exciting teams I've ever watched, and took us to the brink of the playoffs. His signings were decent on the whole, his use of the long market was excellent and he wasn't prepared to go totally balls out in a 'you score four we'll score give' approach. It resulting in a few pumpings, but we also dished out more than our fair share under him. Unfortunately the next season Jack Ross left and his new assistants Guillaume Beuzelin and Mark Spalding seemed to instill a more defensive mentality into the team, which just didn't suit us - albeit we still stayed up comfortably. He'll need a good assistant alongside him. Someone hands on and well respected (like Jack Ross), but if you can build that sort of partnership I think you could be onto a really good thing. Truth be told I wouldn't have been averse to having him back at the Rock if Stevie Aitken had left following our relegation.

Let's not get carried away.

The Sons Trust tenner will pay for itself after just a few bus trips when your trust discount kicks in. It's well worth it!

Sounds ok to me, worst case scenario we finish anything better than 10th better season already, we lose caulker and kamara that’s a few million in the bank and we have some smooth silky football instead of a team of lumberjacks with McCann the only manager in my time making us an acutal good profitable team AND a new stadium to boot not a bad time to be a dee come along and join in the fun if you want

These kind of comments can get right in the bin. Considering we’ve barely got two coppers to scrape together, I’m not sure how we’d manage to pay a transfer fee to Clyde, so I’m presuming the rumour is guff. What is mortifying, is the amount of comments from folk who’d be fine with taking him. As for the, ‘he hasn’t committed a crime’ brigade, I’d point you in the direction of Lord Armstrong’s findings on the case, which make for pretty bleak reading in regards to his behaviour that night. They’re online if you ever fancy a look. I certainly wouldn’t be back if we brought him onboard.

As much as I wanted Shambles and his player position tombola machine out last term, looks like he's here for keeps..............gotta give the guy a chance in what will be his 1st full season with HIS players back to front, skippy and golum were definitely a disruptive influence in the dressing room....both gone now. Talk of not buying season tickets and avoiding home games doesn't help.........the club is the constant........ I stood in the shed in the 70's & 80's when being an Arab was easy and although it feels like a full time job now I could never contemplate staying away until it gets better like some Govan zombie glory hunter

My heart goes out to all Motherwell based fans on Saturday. That’s some journey to undertake from Motherwell to Hampden. Are you having to stay overnight somewhere?