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Will both his dads be at the top table?

Sometimes train related cuntery can backfire - you could almost say it can be cunterproductive. Waiting in a queue to get through at the Central Station barriers this morning - I was next up when someone behind my right shoulder who I'm guessing had been trying to be part of two queues at once leaned right round me and stuck in his ticket. I think in his mind I was meant to stand aside and let him through. Back in the real world I walked through and let the gate shut on him, his ticket swallowed.

That’s pretty fucking creepy tbh.

I disagree

It's definitely the players who are causing the problems . They decided they didn't want to play for Houston and they've downed tools now as well because they don't like Hartley's training methods. There was a punch up too in the dressing room after the match at Tannadice if the rumours are true. Certain senior players are also in the huff too because they wanted to be joint managers after Houston left. Sound familiar? Remember Mcnamara and McCann wanted the job after Eddie May fell on his sword and then spat the dummy. We also have a high proportion of egotistical, coloured boot, silly haircut Nando's eaters in the squad. They think they've made it in the game because they're a pro footballer. Most of them are too thick and deluded to realise that this is probably as good as it will ever get for them before their inevitable slide down to the seaside leagues. The majority of them are not fit to wear the shirt.

The monarchy is an undemocratic and outdated political institution. The idea that, in the 21st century, someone can only become Head Of State if they happen to be born into the royal family is very silly. It is wrong that people cannot become Head Of State on merit and in a democratic fashion. Do YOU think it's time to axe the monarchy? Is there any reason at all why it shouldn't be dispensed with?

Sorry, you are naive in the extreme. This isn't some temporary blip or collective loss of form. We have been consistently poor for the thick end of eighteen months now, last years second place finish belies the poverty and lack of ambition and entertainment displayed in so many performances. The difference then was that we were still capable of digging out a draw or the odd run of 2 or 3 consecutive wins. That has now vanished. Sine the start of last season, we have played twenty six league games at home. We've won eight, the last one on April 1st. We've scored nine goals in fourteen games, the same as Brechin. Only Cowdenbeath and Edinburgh City have a worse record in Scotland. It is shocking. What was the last even decent Falkirk performance, Dundee United away in the play-off maybe? You'd be struggling to name one player who has played even close to their potential this season, far less above it. It's actually quite embarrassing that you are casting up Brechin and Dumbarton results to somehow legitimise our current position, it only defeats your argument and shows how low we have sunk.

My pal is at Ochilview and sent me this photo of the trialist warming up, any ideas?

Trying to garner favour from strangers on the internet is much less tragic than being a grandfather and offering out square-goes. Pipe down you deranged old walloper before you break your hip falling down the stairs.

There is something incredibly sad, disturbing and depressing about a hereditary monarchy still having legitimacy in a Western representative democracy in 2017. Recent polls and the national census have, thankfully, shown society to be increasingly turning it’s back on organised religion but we seem to be unable to collectively shrug off our obsession with self imposed serfdom.

Honestly, Monkey Tennis is the most boring, buzz killington on this site. Aye Bennett etc are shite posters but at least we get a wee giggle at them. With MT, all you get is eye-bleeding, boring, cliche ridden pish that absolutely no one wants to hear. Kind of arsehole that has Ofcom on speed-dial every time there’s a swear word before 9pm on tv. Do us all a favour and just f**k off you boring roaster.

Once again I find myself disagreeing with almost everyone on here! I don't think the players are not trying or have downed tools etc etc. We are in a tight league where there is very little between all the teams and it's been like that for a few years, just on Saturday Brechin got a result against United, over the last few seasons how many good results have Dumbarton got v bigger teams? Unfortunately for us we have gotten a little bit worse in all areas and that has made the difference, the keeper has cost goals that Danny Rodgers would've stopped, Leahy both set up and scored goals and is a huge miss, Grant isn't the player he was pre injury, Kerr is getting older and we haven't replaced really Vaulks, up front Austin hasn't kicked on into the player he could be potentially. Throw in the boost of confidence a winning team gets compared with a losing one and you find players like Hippolyte who thrive in a good team starting to go missing in games, you can also throw in injuries like Taiwo. This overall drop in quality in the squad has taken us from slightly better than most of the league to where we are now, I believe the players are giving 100% it's just not good enough at the moment.

Page 1 bud.

People who actively support the monarchy and talk about them as if they're their best pals tend to be fucking creeps and are definitely OFTW. Hope it's pishing of rain on the day.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/harry-asks-meghan-if-shed-like-to-be-the-subject-of-future-documentaries-about-what-really-happened-to-her-20171127139849

Gonnae be bedlam in their hoose on old firm day, eh? HH WATP

The fight between second and first was closer than you think. 117 points to 121. Both verified simpletons. Both with a track record of orchestrated, deliberate dotting. Both immortalised in MS Paint drawings depicting their tales of abject fantasy. Both with a questionable posting history regarding children. Both terrible. Both shite trolls. Both net losses to P&B. Both with enough testimonials to fill a book with. Both Rangers fans. "Self explanatory. Consistently thick, epitome of an arse cheek fan and really has nothing to offer in terms of football discussion." "Tedious as f**k. Shitebags away from every question asked and offers nothing but stupid one liners that aren't even funny." "Twat" "Freak. *** freak." "obvious reasons" "Thick as shit, ignorant and a completely pointless individual." "No explanation necessary, offers literally nothing to the forum." "Loses out only due to the spectacular levels of dirge fired out repeated by HB, spends his life posting snidey one liners, is the only grown man to use "lol" in almost every single post, has been banned because he contain his obsession over child abuse and was in a tragic co-dependent "greenie" relationship with the highly dodgy The_Tedi. A perma-ban is long overdue. " "What does he actually offer, other than green dotting his wee cronies? c***s worse than Fritzl, probably does dip his weans too tbh." "utterly pointless poster. Adds nothing to a debate by continually playing the man and not the ball then runs away when challenged on anything. Lives in a run down B&B. " "no words needed" "Proves why forced sterilisation isn't all bad. " "For oh, so many reasons. Although in fairness he has provided a lot of hilarity over the years as well, not least in his inablility to keep a lie straight in his head. " "a blinkered bore but Vicky the Viking took the biscuit" "All the stereotypes of a rangers fan rolled into one person" "I've been to Ibrox more times than he is. Sitting in his bedsit throwing out whatabouterys left right and centre. Seems to be like a lost wee puppy without his backup dotting buddies to save him since one got banned for being a beast." "You're talking about a guy here who got suspended from this website for mocking children being sexually abused. A guy who argued with a site moderator here whilst pretending to be a female viking who lived in a guest house. (ffs ) Yep, a guy who edited a post about the Ibrox disaster then denied it, trying to blame someone else." Yes, despite his attempts to butter me up over the last few entries the worst poster in P&B history is @bennett. A Rangers fan who barely if ever sets foot inside Ibrox, bennett has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. His posts about football range from bland to eye-rolling. His posts about things he tenuously links to football are horrific. A recent example of this is him saying he doesn't want Derek McInnes to be the new Rangers manager, where he blatantly spends his time trying to convince himself of that as much as anyone else. His posts about football go beyond the act of pure trolling, as they're always in this affected weak and reserved tone, like someone who's had their legs blown off is trying to mock you for having cramp. This isn't helped of course by the team he spends most of his time posting about. Of course he shites it every time Rangers lose, making his eventual return to the board all the more prominent and risible. When chief ***-wrangler Kinky starts calling him "Ben," trying to legitimise anything they say, you feel the bile rising up in your throat. bennett's crowning glory on P&B came with an episode magee would be ashamed of. Go back to the summer of 2013. Not a very good time for me, but by f**k, bennett, what did you do? Long story short. I split up with my partner recently and moved out into a B&B as my own house is rented out at the moment, so right now i'm searching for a short term house to rent until i can get my own back. Should have something sorted out this week hopefully. Annway was in the lounge watching telly last nigh, on a few websites courtesy of the free wifi and was asked what website this was and we had a chat about it. End result was a new member. Now if any normal person had noticed the IP issue they would have sent a PM asking for an explanation but no not Keith. He had to do his 'hardman thing' and try to be a 'big' man. A little common sense and courtesy appears to be lost on him. Keith has two choices here, he either admits he's f**ked it up (somethin he should be used to by now) or he bans me for 'using another account' which is against board rules afterall. Oh, benny. This was immortalised in one of P&B's classic Paint documentations, and if anyone can find it I'd really appreciate it. I think what sets bennett apart from the other top entries is the volume of what he posts. That the majority of it about Rangers is obviously held against him, but you get about one post for every thousand that doesn't make you want to hate him. He's his own worst enemy and is never helped by the company he keeps. Tedi had a habit of green dotting everything bennett posted. His count is about 2000 higher than it should be, so to rival Rudolph Hucker shows you how much hate he's managed to generate in so many people. Receiving as many as 13 first place votes here confirms that. Intellectually bankrupt, morally devoid, perpetual, inescapable, terrible, The Worst; bennett. Congratulations.

4-5 to be in by Jan 1st and another couple throughout the window. Outwith Scotland too.

Much as I am scunnered by our team at the moment this Juniors talk is absolute nonsense.Very occasionally a player will step up but they are few and far between.

Give us a day off, you twats.

Exactly and this wee cosy notion of junior football being unique , nobody being interested in senior football , all community based etc etc is nonsense for me , I hardly know a single junior fan who doesn't have a senior team , yes their junior team might take priority but most if not everyone has a senior leaning , I know of a good few Dundee united , st mirren , rangers, Celtic , Kilmarnock , Ayr united , west ham , Chelsea , man united, man city fans who go to bellsdale every second week , to suggest junior football fans have no connection with senior teams is a total myth , you would struggle to find many who don't have a soft spot for a senior club .

Aye. Remembers to turn up for the pub quiz on a Thursday but forgets to enter the big one every day. We can see where your priorities lie, mate.

Why the f**k is this news headlines? BBC are creaming their knickers over this and I see there’s even a special programme on tonight about it . f**k right off

Get them all in Westminster Cathedral, lock the doors and fill the gaff to the brim with concrete.

Can we assume, given the extraneous "h" in her name, that her parents were Celtic fans?

Seeing Jacaranda trees in bloom.

Delighted a road cyclist has been crowned the forums' worst. Backs up my findings that road cyclists are thick, agressive, bland, and have absolutely no redeeming features. Bennett is an absolute w**k puffin, and a worthy recipient.

Shut the f**k up

RIGHT AFC FANS HERE ARE THE TRUE FACTS AFTER SPEAKING TO SOMEONE FROM THE CLUB YESTERDAY :- Steven Doris has had a scan on his injury and a second consultation and is getting his operation in the next 2/3 weeks and all paid for by Arbroath Football Club at a cost of £6k = fact. Sorry if this disappoints the rumour mill brigade who spread crap without knowing the facts first. Great victory yesterday against a brutal time wasting Bridie Munching Thugs, they got all they deserved in the end, i thought Goldie was superb when he came on and Hester and Prunts played very good as well when they came on, was not one of Hammys best games and he was caught out a few times, the referee and officials were shocking also. Sir Bobby's goal and celebrations were superb.

Monkey Tennis has a remarkable skill for killing off the will to live.

Before we reveal the worst poster in P&B history it's time for the honourable mention count, where those who didn't make the cut but fully deserve a mention. @RadgerTheBadger, a shite version of 8Mile with added racism, Radge the tadge was banned once for comments about asylum seekers and for some reason was allowed back. Unable to deal with the Hibbee #flamegang being the top boys and not fitting in he tried to get a PM/dotting gang on the go to sort them out. Mercifully stopped posting, hopefully permanently. @banana returned from one of his frequent sabbaticals and started posting suspiciously soon after voting her had closed. A professional troll who manages to be completely unbelieveable on every subject he tries to troll about, his usual schtick is saying he hates women but in the past year the rise of Donald Trump and his 4chan personality cult has led to banana becoming emboldened, with a more libertarian slant on the obvious lies he posts. He'd be infuriating if it wasn't so easy to laugh at him. @Sergeant Wilson manages to be a more accomplished version of Zen Archer and mozzamozza's worst qualities combined, with only the odd post suggesting he's actually a real person to redeem him. Boring, mostly. @Donnyarb aka Lichtie4life, aka the puddle drinker, L4L is famed for stooping to the ground in a drunken stupor during the P&B sub crawl, where nobody liked him, and lapping at a puddle to wash the taste of sick out of his mouth. And for subsequently bombarding the forum with more shite aliases than magee, with a mixture of trolling, racism and idiocy. Seems to be cut from the same cloth as The Calcium Kid, as he seems very informed about boxing. Lionel Lichtie was funny but fortunately, Lichtie For Life Will Never Always Die. @No8. Racist Rangers supporting taxi driver got the bullet a long time ago, leaving benny and kinky as the only staunch posters remaining. Imagine being worse enough than those two to actually get banned. @FuzzyAffro Quite possible the angriest man I've ever seen, even moreso than Shawfield Aggro or pccabe. Spent the year post-referendum with rage-induced typos all over the shop, barely able to stop himself from having serious heart problems. I forget if this is the guy who thinks Harry Souttar is going to be Scotland's leading centre-half for the next decade. Special mention needs to be made about the assortment of unionist trolls we had flooding the place back in September 2014. Wallopers, to a man. The final and most prominent honourable mention however has to go to @Div, fella. Whether it's changing users' names in the filter to make fun of them (because they make fun of St. Mirren), whether it's P&B's frequent dropouts (whenever St. Mirren lose), whether it's deleting half the board with calamitous software changes, there's no poster who has the influence on us all that he does. And who could forget this sorry episode? No votes for any of them. I'll let you decide if you made an error or not. I'll also let you ponder at the horror of a Mumsnet Friday night drunk thread.

The second worst poster in P&B history, with 117 points and 8 first place votes. Well, where to start? Unlike most of the entries we've had there isn't any real need for me to do any writing. Your words, and there are loads of them, and a pure documentation of the things he's done say more than I ever could. "His extra curricular activities should cement number 1 for him. The Tony episode being a particular highlight and showed him up to be an utter fucking rocket." "by a billion miles. Genuinely think he's psychotic. Off the top of my head he has: • claimed to have thrown his own faeces at a friend. Has since gone back and forth multiple times on whether it happened or not, but either way, he genuinely thought telling that story was a good way of ingratiating himself with strangers. Oddball. • Sneakily taken photos of young children without their knowledge of parents permission. • Proudly assaulted a homeless person in front of his infant child. • Emailed another posters boss complaining about their conduct like a vile Lee Wallace. • Stalked another forum member's social media, posted photos on here from it, when called out on this, posted screenshots of a fake text conversation, then completely made up another human being (the bold Tony). • Been banned multiple times only to be let back on (may or may not have phoned Div's house) to rinse and repeat his cycle of "matey tedium-confident bullshit-mental bannable behaviour" A lot of the above has been incredibly entertaining, but it's the behaviour of, at best, one for the watching, and at worst, an actual dangerous lunatic." "Now 8Mile may be a liar, a shitflinger, a creep, an idiot, a grass, but he is NOT a pornstar." "Come on, does it need saying?" "obvious reasons" "Where do you even start? Making up stories about throwing your own shit at people, pretending to kick a homeless person's can of cider to show off in front of his imaginary daughter, the Skidmarks/email saga, white knighting the thankfully-binned Grimbo. A genuinely terrible poster who bites at absolutely everything." "we all know the script with this roaster. In addition to the faeces fraca and assaulting the homeless he also relies on continuous gifs as comebacks and said he wished a poster had an arsehole full of aidsy spunk. Truly horrendous." "deranged arsehile" "Already been covered in some detail on this thread, but, yeah... fantasist, mink and generally horrible individual. Thankfully been hounded into doing little more these days than anal-voring Rab B Nesbit on the Premier League thread." "Mostly to be pitied rather than anything else, I hope he never gets the help he clearly requires." "no specific reason required" "absolutely delusional. His claims that it's an "online persona his colleagues find funny" during Skidgate may have been an all-time low" "Obviously. Needs sectioned." "For thinking throwing shite at someone was "banter" and for contacting Bobby's boss, the very definition of a c**t" One story in particular which has followed @8MileBU around the forum from the start is this one: Everyone loves a jobby prank or a footballing jobby story! I can think of at least 3! Though the latter two are football-jobby-revenge stories lol! 1 - Playing against Addiewell Amateurs at their park about 5 year ago, they had this huge eared, ugly, muppet who was trying to be the hard man until a pathetic attempt of slide tackle saw him skinned, took him over the touch line, through a pile of dog sh*t that can only have been produced by a Labrador or larger dog. He then got up, shit all over his arm, hand and side of his light blue strip, watched a cross go in, a header put us 3-1 up, then got the worst barrage of laughter & ridiculing from everyone before demanding to be substituted, throwing top away and pissing-off home!! Big Ears The Muppet if you ever read this... G.I.R.F.U.Y ya f@nny!!! 2 - Team mate pissed over another team mate in showers after game. The pisser is quite a hairy fella. While the pisser was washing his hair, the pissed-upon proceeded to pick a nasty big winnit out his arse crack, waited til the pisser was walking out the showers then flicked it onto his back lol! 3 - Walking back to changing rooms after a game, hear my name shouted just behind me. So I turned round, heard 'Hows yer touch!!!??' Before taking a ball full in the nuts from about 5 feet away! Queue laughter from all! So into the changing rooms, and into the showers, which were individual cubicles. While behind the door, I squeezed out a decent enough sized jobby for not-really-needing, opened door, shouted 'Hows yet touch!!!??' and threw the turd at the offender, hitting his ponsy pink YSL shirt, leaving a decent brown skid on the shirt and a decent landing mark on his towel!!! Mick B if you read this... G.I.R.F.U.Y mate! Here the moment was captured by the unique artistic stylings of Sloop John B: 8Mile was also banned shortly after he started posting because the mods thought he was a magee alias. Imagine being terrible enough people think you're magee. Certainly the shit flinging story above reads like the work of an abject simpleton, so you can understand the confusion. 8Mile contacted the mods to be allowed back on. There have been few moderation decisions in P&B history as bad as that. Elsewhere in 8Mile's history, if you've ever wondered why he gets called 14Mile, he bragged about taking pictures of boys' trainers in a KFC in order to laugh about them. He once bragged about kicking a homeless woman's belongings in front of his child. He gave birth to the most prominent example of a(n attempted) dotting campaign: Then there was Skidgate last year when it became obvious that either he or Bible John phoned up Bobby's boss to complain about his posting. The Heads Gone thread, the 8Mile awards, caught some of the spills from the main event. Quite how 8Mile was unable to avoid getting the bullet in that episode I've no idea. Mon Dieu comes up top trumps again: Oh yes, none of these things did anything to quell 8Mile's penchant for posting complete fantasy. Who could forget Tony's Thread in P&B Gold, a Rangers/Celtic match thread where he started posting about his pal Tony who was on magee's bus? Complete with faked text messages as "proof"? I can't explain 8Mile. I don't know why he does the things he does, I don't know why he persisted for so long with the MUST REPLY TO EVERYTHING approach and biting every time someone pointed out any of the things I've listed here and more. There can be no denying however that for someone with over 20,000 posts the proportion of those that haven't been eye-bleeding is very small. And at the other end, when they're bad, they're bad. They're endless, and they're terrible. But then, what can you expect of a Rangers fan who presents as a juniors thicko? While 8Mile starts from the bottom of the P&B social ladder, rather than attempt to climb it he's spent years breaking it apart, lathering it in his shite and brandishing it at anyone in sight. A genuinely deranged individual who for his good and everyone else's has taken the hint since Skidgate and posted a lot less. As has happened a few times, when tagging 8Mile I discovered an account which sums him up quite well: @8Mile did it. Yes he did.

Hey Rangers! See that Leeds United? That's you, that is.

Let me in! Its sna'in ya radge!

To be fair you make some valid points but there is no way some if not most of the players are giving 100% and that is what angers me most. Back in the late 70's we were fairly dreadful but that was because we had a poor standard of player, those guys were honest but limited or past their prime so no complaints. We may not have our strongest squad at the moment but the level of underachievement is ridiculous, we were second favourites for this league!

That'll show them aye. Never mind chopping their heads off, whitewashing their titles from history and giving their lands and estates to the people, let's just hope there's a bit of drizzle and they have to take their photos indoors. You fucking yoghurt knitters and your namby pamby ways. No wonder the terrorists are winning.

Fleetwood Mac - Cold Black Night

Are you in line to the British throne? Are you gingerish? Do you like the Nazis and have you been photographed with a swastika? Are you living comfortably whilst the rest of the country goes through the worst economic times in living memory? Do you want to marry an American Divorcee? Well go ahead - what can possibly go wrong?* *Warning - may not apply if the year is actually 1936 and not just a poor photocopy 80 years later.

f**k off you absolute drip.

You're just copying what others have posted just to get likes..... Pretty boring actually.

I guess we'll never know, I didn't want to drag this up again as it was a stressful time, my missus had become pregnant again and I didn't fancy losing my job (although looking back I was worried about nothing) so I was glad to put it all behind me, besides its usually only the forum morons who drag it up. case and point.

He'd be raging if he lost his sweeties. With a packet of sweets, and a cheeky smile.....