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Right, cuntos; let's get our fucking thinking hats on here, aye. What would you like to see at a new Dens? It's been mentioned a few pages back, but the new site is considerably bigger than the existing one. For those that aren't familiar with the piece of land in question, here's what we're talking about: Right next to the ice rink. This bothered me at first, but the more I think about it, the area isn't any better or worse than where Dens is currently located IMO. I'm trying to think if plus points and all I can come up with is that the proposed location might good for prancing popstars like Tom Hateley and Danny Williams (who will probably still be under contract) — they can swoosh around on the ice while everyone else is warming up. Let's look at how the areas compare in terms of size: As Eddie Annand always said, 'Bigger is always Better, aye.' The Kingsway will make it easier to get in and out, but there's a lack of good pubs in the area, sadly. Actually, there's my first request; a new clubbie. Lets put that as far away from the main road as possible to stop the regulars picking fights with moving traffic. Safety first. The next thing to add would be a giant statue of Bobby Cox giving the Lochee Fleet sign in the direction of Tannadice. Get it right fucking up you, United. This should be placed close to the Kingsway, so everyone entering and leaving the city is either saluted or Telt. Third, the stadium itself. As @Lichtie78 mentioned on the previous page, four SuperDerrys should be built to form the new ground. I'd go as far as to recess it into the ground and create old-style concrete terracing, complete with steel railings and wooden benches — none of this plastic seat shite. Fourth, we should put the away fans closest to the road for two important reasons. One; the noise and pollution from the road. Let those c***s soak it up while our new South facing MegaDerry gets the sun. Most importantly, though, I propose we form a 21st century garden maze that must be completed before traveling away fans are allowed entry. This should be of moderate difficulty and a challenge. We could also combine this with @jamamafegan's idea to reintroduce native species back into Scotland. Wolves, bears and lynx might be reserved for visiting OF fans. Various pubs and strip bars can then be slotted into the remaining spaces. This is roughly what I think it should look like: Thank you.

This is the view I want to have when driving into Dundee: Thank you.

It's simply lies. It's repeated too often and widely to only ever be misunderstanding. At the turn of the year 9 of 12 Premiership clubs crowds were actually up on last season, admittedly a couple only modestly; and only 3 were down with 1 of those modestly. Divisional average is no different that it was in the seasons between the recession and Rangers going bust. Truth would be "Attendances in Lanarkshire have fallen 12%". Dubious of this least competitive league since Hungary in 1932 claim, too. EDIT: So having read the full article... the people on the ground they went to for quotes were Archie McPherson and Gordon Smith . Justification for the big claim of collapsing crowds is given by the fact that the journalist went to Hamilton v Aberdeen on Tuesday, and found the stadium half-full; plus he's looked-up the averages for Hamilton, Aberdeen and Motherwell and discovered they are all down... Conveniently the only 3 clubs that are down - and even then Aberdeen's only by a sliver. Coincidence and very bad luck on the part of the writer - or deliberate and selective deception, either by him or whoever informed him? He then goes on to consult Richard Wilson - "an expert on Scottish football viewing figures"! - then uses the claim that TV figures for Celtic games are down 1/3 to 1/2 to prop the argument. Shoddy piece of so-called quality journalism. We can all look up 2 or 3 clubs - a pair of them having bad seasons battling relegation - find their crowds are down and claim it's a widespread trend. We would all be misleading people in doing so. EDIT AGAIN: Of course the whole thing is also predicated on the assumption that a 1-horse race is terrible and makes everything bad. Fact that most non-OF fans don't care between that and a 2-horse race doesn't really get a look-in.

Put £1 in the machine and the first bag never dropped so I put another £1 in thinking it would drop them both. That was the result. £2 down and no crisps. I was standing hammering on the glass but at the same time pishing myself laughing that it had actually happened. I weighed up the situation and decided whether one more £1 would drop the lot or whether I'd just be the daftest fucker imaginable. The thought of some dick putting in a £1 and getting my two bags along with his is what made my decision. When I put the third £1 in I noticed the machine said "Credit £3. Select item or press R". Pressed "R" and £3 came out the machine. Popped another £1 in and all three bags dropped. #Winning as the kids would say. Definitely a RTBC but given the seethe generated initially I felt this was more appropriate.

Something similar to this would probably be sufficient for the Bobby Cox statue.

Horrendous piece of "journalism." For a country that apparently dosen't care about Scottish football, they're utterly fixated with it at times. You know the Croatian top flight, where European cannon fodder Dinamo Zagreb are going for their 12th (TWELTH) title in a row? Why don't you speak about that? How about talk to fans of Rijeka (famously bodied out of Europe by Aberdeen might I add) how they feel about it? No, he goes to Glasgow and speaks to some dinosaurs and a fucking cab driver and tries to pass it off as imvesrigative journalism. Get him in the sea.

Wow Tesco really do sell everything

HAUD.THE.FUCKIN.BUS. He-Man is on Netflix?

That there are people even considering that this could happen shows what an excellent job the sky hype machine has done in building this fight.

It's in their subconscious, The x 1023 Tedi. To be fair to them, absolutely anyone that watches their own supporters stream out of the stadium quicker than it takes Hibs fans to fill a pitch - would struggle to recover. Let's be honest, absolutely anyone that watches their employer use faux outrage to try and retain the hearts & minds of the heartbroken absent-minded supporters - would struggle to recover. To be perfectly Franck, ab-sol-ute-ly any-one that watches their employer claim that the handful of ***s that hadn't already walked away were waiting to watch their team presented with Runners-Up medals (and only ran onto the pitch to protect their players) - would struggle to recover. Let's be perfectly & honestly & fairly humble for a moment and accept that absolutely any*** - would struggle to recover from this: [Time of post: 23:00] (Why not 23:23? Rod Petrie asked me to squeeze in the amount of 'fucks' he gives about your link - absolutely zero.) Goodnight *** x edited to add: struggled to recover the image link for 12 minutes - the time it took Hibs to seal the Scottish Cup, from a losing position, against Rangers.

Aye, like my fuckin brick!

Reports that Randomguy has been sighted in the Bush Bar reading 50 Shades of Grey whilst sipping a lemonade with a tad of Tennents. Gearing up for his Sunday Songs of Praise wankathon with Radford. Fucking p***k. Thank you.

Whilst we're talking about aliases, I should probably confess that my alternative account is WaffenThinMint. Feel free to shut that one down, mods.

The Clyde board seem to have a lot of similarities to that of Stirling's. They did all the right things and backed their man in every way possible, and in all the right ways.....however, they were doing it for someone who wasn't actually the right man.

Work started on the Gym, Community Space, Supporters Lounge & Learning Centre in the South Stand upper concourse

No. It's one of if not the worst PPV in recent times, which is good going considering the amount that Eddie chucks at us. Embarrassing for British boxing that

The f**k is that all about? Those shoes just left discarded like that?! Get them paired up and left neatly.

SNAKE MOUNTAIN! IT'S FUCKING SNAKE MOUNTAIN! CASTLE GREYSKULL WAS WHERE THE GOOD GUYS LIVED, AND SEVCO ARE NOT THE GOOD GUYS! RRRAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Someone on Twitter noticed the article doesn't even feature in the Scottish edition of the paper, only the English one. Fucking shitebag, say it to our face you coward!!

It makes sense to cover it up if you believe you are protected and no one is going to pull you up on it which, in the US at present, is an entirely possible assumption. He stated "I have been called a surrogate at a time or two in that campaign, and I did not have communications with the Russians," That is an outright lie said with the intention of misleading. It was stupid as well, as surely to state that he did meet with the Russian Ambassador on unrelated Senate business would be both an acceptable explanation and (if he had been doing anything illegal) would have been a much better cover story.

Nah. The only thing that'd make me consider stopping my support for the club is if they willingly fucked over local creditors and small businesses.

Nah m74, that's going to be my first pick up line. "I like the Pie and Bovril? Do you like the Pie and Bovril?"

We're terrible being behind a hibs team that rubbish they could only put 4th top hearts out the cup over 2 games, murder team so hibs are!! I'm surprised Dumbarton and ayr have any points at all as they are part time and so can be written off and patronised by our support, same goes for any team with a smaller budget meaning we should be miles in front of morton but obviously budgets don't count for teams above us like utd or hibs who we should be competing with! Any signings are terrible so blame the manager, again ignore any evidence to the contrary like Craigen improving with a run in the team or Austin looking a player now he's recovered from injury. It's amazing how people ignore results like st mirren last night or Dumbarton beating utd, that show this is a competitive tight league and highlight any slips we make to slaughter the players and manager. I'll say it again, we'll have good and bad games and performances this season but we're still right in the hunt and could go up, the negativity on here is shocking (not as bad as 1 f was though) COYB

Can I enter him? He will go barepaw. Thank you.

Well know, the title wasn't wrapped up in September last season, unlike this year. Judging a league solely on the title race is fucking moronic aswell, the rest of the league is as tight and competitive as it's ever been.

f**k me is monkey still babbling on about this . Get over it

Corgi pit bull with lopsided jaw saved from euthanasia. http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39152052/corgi-pit-bull-with-lopsided-jaw-saved-from-euthanasia

I don't like the outfit my wife made me just as much as my beanie hat.

The store is lucky as it is not often you see that miserable sod smiling!! As for the Stadium this caper is why I hate being Aberdonian and from this area. I have never come across a more up itself set of people in all my life, here we stand with a chance to help make our only senior football club progress, to potentially become bigger, to offer jobs, facilities for the community etc and as usual the snobs and jobsworth brigade come up with reasons to want to reject it, probably the same people who reject EVERY single proposal the city has probably because it may effect things like their precious house values etc etc. Why is it that Dundee, which for some reason is maligned unfairly by Aberdonians, is a better city than Aberdeen in pretty much everything atm can look at a new stadium being built and the reaction is largely positive yet as always in Aberdeen a huge song and dance is made about it? It took 40 years for us to get a bypass, probably be another 100 years before they dual the road to Inverness. For a City that prides itself on its affluence and links to Industry we are nothing more than a glorified town with a backwater inward way of thinking and it has to stop. That a club the size of Aberdeen still doesn't have its own training ground, even St Mirren have one, is a total disgrace and says all you need to know about how things work up here. Quite simply this needs to happen as we need to move forward as a city and a region, lets get behind the Club and drive it forward.

If I've picked you up wrongly, I apologise. I think the board can be blamed for making Ferguson manager. I think they can be blamed for not acting to get rid of him. I think they can be blamed for giving him an extension. If they have allowed Ferguson to pay players out of his own pocket or him leaving the club financially liable at all I would be disgusted. Many fans seem to feel disenfranchised and the board should take responsibility for that as all Clyde supporters should feel their views and experiences are important. But as I said, the players and manager are responsible for the LEAGUE position and potential relegation not the board.

Of course it's all lies and misinformation. HJ has summed it up perfectly. The hidden agenda here is simple - it's an anti-Scottish one. Look at the newspaper it's in FFS. Rags like the Daily Record push their pro-Rangers agenda because that's their readership. Rags like the Telegraph push their self loathing/patronising-at-best/pathetic Jocks stuff because, well, that's their readership. And Archie McPherson has been a prize welt for decades. No surprise to see him in the servile Better Together (ha!) camp back in '14.

because it proves we need a "strong Rangers" which has been the beating heart of most of Scottish media for the last 5 years. I don't recall articles like this in the 90's when they were having all sorts of love-ins with the Record etc. They don't seem to get that the strong Rangers was actually the Wizard of Oz operating on huge debts and illegal tax dodging schemes and illegally registered players and ended up in liquidation. This apparently is really unfair (not 20 years back though) and proves how crap the rest of us are.

Thatcher was absolute fucking vermin. I hope the end was long, drawn out and very painful.

Did you when Cowdengelly pumped your arses 4-1 over the 2 games in 2014?

What will actually happen vvv Arrive, proceed to get absolutely paralytically shitfaced, someone will shit themselves in a McDonalds, someone will be arrested and another will end up in hospital with a face looking like a burst meat balloon. And then it will go downhill from there.

Strawbs - Part Of The Union

Groundhogs - Split Part 1

You were doing so well....then you had to sneak the board into it. Pretty sure nobody is happy about them just now but ffs we are a handfull of games from oblivion so just concentrate on the team getting some points and leave all the board stuff until we know where we stand !

Split Enz - I See Red

Your boring, weary posts make my eyes bleed.

This is absolutely fucking genius. One small change though. I feel the Cox statue should be even bigger, perhaps even straddling the Kingsway, a bit like the Colossus of Rhodes.

Here's another one. More ears than teeth.

Is that toast, beans, scrambled eggs and ham? Poverty Nachos.

No Elton John at new Dens. Thank you.

Eric's excuses just get more desperate: Tuesday (club statement) - it's the fault of the SPFL and their regulations we couldn't sign a keeper and then they wouldn't cancel the game. Wednesday (SPFL statement in response to Rovers statement) - it's not our fault. We've already explained all your options, you declined to use any of them Wednesday (Eric's interview on STV) - it's not really the SPFL's fault we didn't sign a keeper, some deals fell through.... it's not my fault though, some information wasn't given to me. Thursday (FFP interview with Eric, presumably given on Tuesday or Wednesday) - it is all the SPFL's fault. A better course of action? Put out a statement before the game on Tuesday - "sorry fans, we've tried our best to bring someone in but a couple of potential deals fell through at the last minute. Plus we've realised, too late to do anything about it, that we could've found another way to bring someone in. We know this isn't good enough and no one is more upset about this than we are. We promise we will learn from this and won't let something like this happen again" Mistakes / oversights happen but making crap excuses and passing the buck (rather than just accepting blame, learning and moving forward) isn't the right way to deal with them. I'm just thoroughly sick of the whole embarrassing fiasco.

Same old Alloa, always threatening to involve solicitors.