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I took a thought on Saturday that Chris Johnston might not have actually won a league game with us, in my mind he returned round about the 0-0 at East End Park but it was slightly earlier than that. Having looked at it, Johnston has actually appeared in three league wins, starting just one (the lucky 1-0 over Queen of the South, our last victory - he was subbed on 75 minutes with the score 0-0). This then led me on to looking at our record with Johnston/Barr both playing. I posted the below after the 0-0 with Dumbarton in November... Johnston's on the pitch league record is scored four, conceded thirteen. This is from fifteen league appearances. Now in fairness to him, of the four we've scored with him on the park, he's scored one (Falkirk) and assisted one (M'Voto v Hibs). Our record with Barr/Johnston simultaneously on the pitch. Scored three, conceded eleven, from eight such occasions. Contrast this now with our record with only Bobby Barr on the pitch, and no Chris Johnston - scored sixteen, conceded twelve. Now there are a range of factors involved in this, I'm not saying it's exclusively the problem, and I think Johnston mostly as an individual has been somewhere been OK and decent for us. It isn't a dig at him, it's a dig at the manager for not noticing this pattern. Very few teams at this level constantly play a flat 4-4-2 with two attacking wingers. Grant Murray played it virtually through his entire tenure and never got out of the 6th/7th/8th rut. The stats show we are significantly worse when we play both Johnston and Barr, we are so easy to play against with space behind the wingers that the central midfielders just can't cover. Virtually all our better performances (and victories) came with either Ross Matthews on the right wing tucking in on opposition attacks, or a three man midfield, in which Callachan thrives. In fact, we have won just two matches in which both Bobby Barr and Chris Johnston have appeared - 3-2 v Dumbarton, when Johnston came on the park at 3-1, and Falkirk away where Johnston replaced Barr. So one victory where they've simultaneously been on the park, and that came when we were already 3-1 up. If I, a pillock on a message board with access to Soccerbase, can not only see this pattern now but also call it in early November, why can't our manager, assistant manager, coaching team or team of match analysts/statisticians notice? Or have they noticed and continue to do nothing about it? Just one of a long list of reasons why he's shown he's just not upto football management in his spell here so far. Face it Eric and correct the mistake now before it's too late...

Moved into our new house this week. We noticed in our back garden there was a wheelie bin full of shite so got in touch with the council. They told us to leave it out in the street and someone would come collect it. We arrived home from work and discovered some fucker had put it back in our garden. We've left it out again but needless to say we'll be waiting to see if this cock appears again...

You're an absolute fuckin screwball.

Sutton fans on the pitch after beating Leeds in the FA cup. Some of them ran up to the Leeds fans. But the Leeds fans saw it for what it was ignored it and went home, Confirming what everyone already knew even Leeds fans are more civilised than rangers fans.

No, it's not normal behaviour to join a Facebook group for your block of flats.

If we needed any confirmation that the relentlessly grim 2016 was merely an amuse-bouche for the full tasting menu of pain to be inflicted upon us by a sadistic 2017, then, before January has expired, we've been shorn of all hope, like sheep in a slaughterhouse. Locked into an irreversible downward spiral, as we career past the wrathful and the sullen in the fifth circle of Hell, before saying 'hello' to the heretics on Level Six, the rapidly-dwindling band of resolutely cheerful idiots amongst us will doubtless console themselves with the thought that, if April is the cruellest month, then February and March might be endurable (just about), with May the light at the end of tunnel. But, of course, back in the real world, May is not going to introduce Trump to 'the better angels of his nature', for the glaringly obvious reason that he doesn't have any. No, May is #TheresaTheAppeaser, the woman who gave us a harrowing insight into the reality of post-Brexit Britain 'taking back control', by discarding dignity and principles alike to beg for crumbs from the table of the perma-tanned crypto-fascist currently holed up in the White House. We're moving beyond satire, into a world where a dystopian parable such as Sinclair Lewis' 'It Can't Happen Here' now resembles not so much a chilling prophecy as the utopian ramblings of a demented optimist. Brian Cox should seize the moment and start a band called N:ightmare. Their zeitgeist-defining debut single 'Things Can Only Get Worse' would surely be the apocalyptic anthem of 2017.

A simple "my window doesn't" followed by a Greggy would suffice.

me an declan ma best pal done this on his computer and were gona get a flag made you guys need to get a grip and get behind barry hes a ex rangers pleayer and is class give him one more season an you will see a was right we are clyde super clyde noone likes us we dont care

when did we last get a fee for an established player (ie: Not a promising youngster)? I think it was Foster at a reported £400k? going by that benchmark we should accept no less than 7 trillion pounds for Hayes.

If I'm stealing patter from 4chan dorks when I'm the wrong side of 40 like the above poster then consider this all the go ahead you need to bludgeon me to death.

Not one for the protesting but this sign is class to be fair.

We are basically too big to go into administration again. My baking skills are razor sharp from last time so even if we do we will be fucking fine.

Protesting placards in pure scottish style

We should sign Pawlett with an injury clause in the deal, get Gowser to break his legs in training then terminate his contract.

Throbber should post that he's heard that they're going to turn the bike shed into a mosque. Good way of vetting the neighbours.

I should have replied "first world problems thread for this pish" to the guy complaining about condensation!

This club record is actually pretty sensational. Ryan wasn't even first choice goalie this season. He came in because Mark Hurst was unavailable for the Scottish Cup tie v Edinburgh City, lost a goal just before the break. played the replay and kept a clean sheet. including a terrific late stop. Kept the shirt as interim boss Dougie Anderson saw off Brechin City at Glebe Park 1-0 in a televised game. New manager Barry Smith kept faith with Ryan for a 2-0 home win against Peterhead. Off to another away victory at Ochilview, although an injury saw Ryan being replaced by Hurst 15 minutes from time. Hurst kept the gloves until St Johnstone refused to release him for the Scottish Cup tie at Livingston - another 1-0 win with several top drawer stops from the keeper, followed by another clean sheet yesterday...

Every time he posts all I can see are a combination of the MUSSUS BUNFIELD sketch and the Wealdstone Raider

I'm going to pretend I don't know where that picture comes from.

TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is what I would have got, had I been correct with just six more answers. As it is, I got four.

The second coming of the Faceless Cast of Thousands.

Who said that like?

Ferguson Adam McGregor McCormack Hutton Macleod Wilson Mckay Other than them? Never really.

Free - My Brother Jake

The wording of the anti-Trump petition is hilarious..."would cause embarrassment to Her Majesty". The Monachy is a far bigger embarrassment to democracy than Donald Trump. Not that the servile trash inhabiting basket-case Great Britain can grasp this, however.

Jamesy Lawd is a completely unfunny simpleton. Imagine an individual sad enough to keep that act going for such a drawn out period of time. If that's 'comic relief' then shoot me now!

I like our board and I do believe they have the best interests of the club at heart as like us they are supporters of the team but for me they have made 5 shocking calls this season. 1. Hiring Gary Locke, overwhelming opinion in Scottish football is he is a poor manager no matter how well he interviews, I recall the horror of our fans and laughter of other fans when we named him manager. Look at the league predictions thread for examples many predicted us last. 2. After hiring him they decided to give him a 2 year contract, why? he's hardly in demand and his previous record shows he was a big gamble they may have to pay off when it went south. 3. Letting him sign a team of Hearts has beens who are obviously just his pals looking for a last pay cheque, yes you might get the odd gem from this tactic but most of them are has beens for a reason, see Jon Daly 4. Letting Lewis Vaughan go on loan not only is he one of our more talented youngsters and in my opinion better than some we play now, they sent him to a club in our division which is fine if you're Sevco or Hibs and going for the title but relegation is always a possibility for us in this league so giving Dumbarton a boost is a bad idea. 5. Bates to Rangers, selling talented youngsters to bigger clubs is the way to generate more income, if Rangers were interested surely others might be. Accies made a fortune selling talented youngsters to English clubs. Let players move on to bigger clubs but at least get a fee for them, what are we a feeder team. As for the pish about not standing in his way WTF we are a business not a charity. The board need to eat some humble pie and admit they got appointing Locke wrong this one is 100% on them as I doubt any supporter wanted to see him in our dugout.

Probably grocery sales related, going by the bunch of bananas he's apparently carrying in his trouser pocket.

You can say that again, Tony.

There's no complaints about yesterday, just another big game where we never turned up. Spartans imo are the best team in the league, EK have the best squad but I think Spartan have the best team and tactics etc. Suppose this is shown in how they've bet us and EK twice apiece this season. Townsley, Allum and their goalie all had blinders in what was bar the first 25 mins, a comfortable game for them. Chris Townsley was part of a group of shire players who gave me £25 for a carryout after an Elgin away trip so he'll forever be a legend to me

Is this thread a Sebu-esque hint for tops to get sent to the OP?

Jody Cundy OBEVerified account ‏@jodycundy 2h Oh My! Just spotted a slight spelling mistake on a letter I received yesterday. Oops! D instead of a T #isitok

People are acting like he's cracked open a tin of beer on the bench.

Every time I've come on here today and seen this topic near the top of the forum I've been hopeful it was because Locke had been sacked. Sadly not.

Spot on.Dedication is all well and good, but living in a skip in Sandeman Street. isn't working.

And then within 24 hours. [emoji23]

Inverness are without a home win in their last 7 games at the Caledonian Stadium. Their next home game is against us.

U like what you saw big boy?

So other than the fact we are completely shite and we have signed a pile of shite players on 3 year deals you can see no reason to be negative?

Why would you want to take drugs on the way to watch Hamilton Acc...ah scratch that!

And a waxwing recently at Gullane on Guy Fawkes day. They arrived quite early here in the east. Over 200 that day flying around scoffing the berries.

Carswell is a quietly tidy player. He gives the team a degree of protection and uses the ball sensibly. He'll never have an eye-catching performance, but you'd notice if he was struggling. I've been impressed with him - he lets the more attacking players be a bit more adventurous knowing that he's dependable to cover them. Stirling has been different class for the past month/6 weeks. The difference is night and day. It's clear that the gaffer got a reaction from his squad after the Bonnyrigg game.

Gary Holt signing Rakish Bingham, Olu Durajaye, Joe Chalmers and Phil Roberts in the same season when we had the chance for promotion still boils people's blood.

You think putting displaced people in camps run by Wahhabists is making the west safe?

Got it, cheers. HD channels are fucking superb. I'm actually raging with myself that I had it on my tv all this time

We've been pish for the last season and a half. No grit in the team and we're going nowhere. Simple as that. Thank you.

I see classic shirts have this beauty... The coolest shirt I ever owned. I bought one at Inglestone market around 1990 and loved it. I took a total slagging for the Lada logo but who gives a f**k? Ridicule is nothing to be scared of as a famous man once sang. I would go for it but it's 70 bar and I'm not fucking paying that...

I don't usually bother posting my winners in here. But....