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Convinced my wee girl that the hazard lights button in the car is an ejector seat. Anytime she's playing up, all I have to do is reach towards the button and she suddenly becomes a good wee girl again.

John Miles - music

Roxy Music - Virginia Plain

I get the same but it's usually about something that hasn't happened yet. "Does he die?". I don't know, keep watching and you'll find out.

Wunf......I do worry about you. You mentions buns and prods often. Why do you think this is important? This is P&B and most Bears give not one f**k about religion. The delightful thing about this forum is that it is sectarian-free and the Gers fans who make unacceptable comments are quickly found-out - usually by our own fans. So stop making these remarks.

Had a cracker of a game yesterday, needed to win to win the title and playing some spanish team, was a pretty good team and after 21 minutes I was getting fucking destroyed 3-1 with an Iniesta hat-trick and he had now resorted to passing it around his defence doing fancy flicks, this coupled with him doing the "shh" celebration and watching of every replay meant that I felt roughly like... Done the whole thing where you sit up straight and say "Right, gonna start playing now". And for once it worked! sneaked a couple of goals in the last 5 minutes of the half to get it level, despite me now feeling. I refrained myself and decided to just skip the replay and celebrations. Half time I put on Gundogan for Martinez and started to dominate, went ahead through Gomez and still skipped the replays etc. Until with 10 minutes left he equalises and goes properly overboard. Nut, not fair, fucking seething. Until I go up the park and score a 30 yarder with Gundogan with 5 minutes left. f**k this I though, pass it around the back four, few keepy uppys by the keeper, I knew he was seething, diving in with challenges trying to break my players, I was one happy cunto. Full time came and went and the customary message popped up.

1910 Fruitgum Company - Simon Says

Chris Spedding - Motorbiking (sorry for the edit AFJ)

Led Zeppelin - Black Dog.

Three dog Night - Mama Told Me Not To Come

Bill Nelson - Do You dream In Colour?

Keane - A Bad Dream

Blue Nile - Tinsel Town In The Rain

Only starting?

Dead Kennedys - Holiday In Cambodia

Charles Greens target audience ?

Michael Paton signs on for a further year. http://www.qosfc.com/new_newsview.aspx?newsid=1828

What are you if you tick them all?

Is there not a third large capacity stadium in Glasgow?

Ding, ding, ding, round two on the 18th june! http://www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/tribunals/tax-and-chancery-upper-tribunal-/hearings-register.pdf note the respondent; The former Rangers Football Club Plc (now RFC 2012 – in liquidation)

FFS, you've no concept of context, have you? The ban was only deemed illegal when it was to be used as a punishment on an existing member. Legally (and you might need to look that word up, , the SFL were entitled to impose any conditions they wished on your new company's entry into the leagues. Two different landscapes.

Like c***s. As usual.

Because we had two squads of players to choose from. To be serious though your point is valid. Seeing as ict weren't admitted to the sfl in 1994 point is invalid. Caledonian thistle and Ross county were. We have only been ict since 96.

You're going to love this then:

Is there a type of soap box that is non portable? But yeah, of course you're entitled to not care, it just shows that you lack empathy. You are probably against emergency aid to developing countries too if it means you only get a fortnightly bin collection.

got another one, not so much what she said but what she did she is a very very fussy eater and when we were on holiday in Cuba there was never anything she would eat from the all inclusive buffet but one night came back and sat down beside me with a big plate of onion rings telling me how great it was too see something she could actually eat. Not thinking anything off this she ate maybe 2/3 and stopped to say they are no like onion rings back home, they are a wee bit more chewy!! Straight away the penny dropped with me so I said that they have different kind of onions over in Cuba and to eat up. After polishing off the plate feeling very content that she had just eaten a plate of onion rings I took her up to the buffet to see where she had got them from. BINGO!!! I said to her is this where you got your chewy onion rings from. aye she replied. A said well they onion rings you ate were actually squid rings and the massive picture of the squid next to them should have gave away the game. She went straight back to the room, spewed her ring and never spoke to me for about 2 days, fvck knows how I ended up with the blame

We all know why.... ...it's the clincher in all our contract talks

Legend is banded around far to often nowadays. Average SPL player.

Never heard of the man.

Could be the beginning of the beginning. It is in the interests of the rest of Scottish football, that McCoist is allowed to stay and continue to develop his interesting and radical ideas on how the game should be played. Scottish football cannot afford to lose such a shrewd tactician, who has an uncanny knack of spotting a players true position, even when said player has been playing a completely different position all his career. The guy is a genius and all things been equal, he would be at Man Utd, but for his undying loyalty to the rangers.

Proper beastly behaviour would definitely be doing that in private.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW97fs-a_Hs

Great thread this. Me and my ex were 5 years together so I took her out for a romantic meal. We were in a lovely Spanish restaurant and were splashing out a bit so I asked the waiter to give us a nice bottle of Rioja. He comes back and opens the bottle with a flourish and leaves it explaining that it had to breathe. He appears 10 minutes later and pours a bit for her to test and she gives a nod and a smile that the testing had gone well. He pours me a glass and explains that 1994 was a good year, it was 2002, and while I have a huge mouthful of wine she asks him when the sell by date is. I had wine coming out my nose.

I won't let my wife forget her observation that Stephen Hawking was clearly from the US, based on his accent

I convinced my gf that a park in Berlin was full of roaming lions and bears, so we'd have to be extra careful. I also used three totally made up words in a row during a game of Scrabble - Aspy, for a whisp of smoke; Mowat, for a country bumpkin village; Gii, for Pi squared.

A ground share arrangement would be fantastic for St Mirren. I would be delighted with it provided The The Rangers were held to ransom, paying exuberant rates, paid up front and provided indemnities for damage. It would have no impact on St Mirren fans' match day experience but would be a nice easy earner. And, the groundsman could 'accidentally' programme the sprinklers to clean the stands every second Saturday.

Campbell '90k night-out' Ogilve really taking a step back from Rangers related matters there. el presidente last year; "From day one, I said I cannot be part of any discussion on Rangers. I have stood down from any involvement on the Rangers side of the debate. That was clear from day one from my side and from the SFA side that had to be the case. Now if I am causing the SFA a problem, and the board felt that and the clubs felt that, I would stand down." How this chunt is still clinging to his office is a disgrace.

Johnny mate if thats real then it proves what we've said all along, that the SFA knew all about Whyte yet still punished the club for their ineptitude.

The attention seekers who write "if we don't talk delete me" it really does annoy me. 1. I've got over a thousand people on my list it's a bit hard to talk to every person on it and 2. They can delete people their selves without the need to broadcast it for attention.

That was the first innings of the last and deciding test of 2009 ashes, utterly destroyed the aussie top order including Ponting who he always seemed to get out

That would explain the Snake Mirren/Sevco love in over league recondtruction then.

Morris is under contract with us, but he'd certainly be a great signing for any SFL1 team. He is a very, very good CB and will surely, IMO, get a move back down to England soon enough! With him being under contract, but the obligations of his contract being broken due to 4/5/6 months without wages/staggered wages, then I don't know if he could walk away and leave whenever he wants or if we'd be able to demand / receive a transfer fee. I wouldn't be surprised to see you guys go for Dowie - he is very competant and would definitely make your back line a strong unit, especially if he had someone like Ellis or Mensing at CB alongside him. He's also very good with the ball at his feet - can take a touch and make a pass, usually the simple one to the RB/LB. Have you's offered Cardle a contract? Do you guys want him to stay? I'd be surprised, without being disrespectful, if he didn't have better offers than Raith - although I wouldn't be surprised if he was still in SFL1 next season. Good luck next year, hopefully we'll be playing you in a season or two's time with the Fife Derbies back on the agenda. All the best!

Congratulations on managing to state the obvious. I'm sure you'll go far in life.

It turns out that Brad Pitt was on drugs when he was married to Jennifer Anniston. http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/05/22/brad-pitt-was-on-drugs-during-marriage-to-jennifer-aniston/ Wait till he finds out that Angelina is off her tits.