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I like Barrymore tae

(Three men rush into a room. SIR DAVE slams the door behind him. CRAIG and CHARLIE try to catch their breath, panting) SIR DAVE: Right youse, not a sound. We don't want the People finding out where we are and ripping us limb from limb... Craig, have a look out of that window and see if you can see any Bears. (CRAIG peeks through the curtains) CRAIG: I think we're safe, for now. CHARLIE: Why? What are the People doing? Are they sharpening axes and lighting torches and marching on us, crazed with desire for vengeance? CRAIG: No. SIR DAVE: Are they assembling a Fighting Fund to seize our assets by law, as revenge for destroying their beloved Rangers? CRAIG: No. CHARLIE and SIR DAVE: Well, what are they doing? CRAIG: They're singing songs about child abuse because they think that will get it right up every cretin who wanted their club dead. (Stunned silence) (SIR DAVE, CRAIG and CHARLIE burst into hysterical laughter, tears streaming from their faces, pounding the floor. SIR DAVE gasps for breath. CHARLIE pishes himself) CRAIG: Ha ha ha ha ha, oh my God, oh my God. SIR DAVE: Ha ha ha ha ha, the Record told the Bears that Craig had wealth off the radar! (Fresh fits of hysteria) CHARLIE: Ha ha ha ha ha, I said they'd win the Champions League by 2020! (Gales of laughter. After twenty minutes, they stop and sober up a little) CHARLIE: Ha ha ha ha ha, oh, ho ho, hee hee... So, what are we going to do now? SIR DAVE: I don't know about you pair, but I'm going to spend all the money I stole off the People on cocaine, expensive booze and hoors before somebody with half a brain decides to take it off me.... Although obviously, no Rangers supporter is going to make any such effort. CHARLIE and CRAIG: Hear, hear!

I think it's totally awesome that you're all so absolutely desperate to "get it right up.... every cretin who wanted (your) club dead". This will certainly be music to the ears of the men who actually made your club dead, since they plainly have nothing whatsoever to fear from you. Yup, getting it right up all those Plastic Paddies and their sympathisers is definitely the way to go. A few rounds of Follow Follow will certainly prove us. Hope you're in good health, BTW.

Record Watch Update Presumably the final update to the season records post ( i might do a bit of research into things like clean sheets when I get a chance though!). Today's 1-0 win over Albion Rovers extended out many of the already broken records and of course Nicky Clark's winner ties the club single season scoring record that has stood for 81 years. An amazing achievement. The best defence record and best goal difference are now formally confirmed though it was obvious for a while they'd be coming. Club Records Already Set: All time record points total for a season was 67 achieved in the 2001-02 championship season. We finish this season on 92 points, smashing the previous best to smithereens. Latest First League Defeat in a season. We didn't lose our first league game until December 11th. The previous record was November 9th. (Tied Record) Most Games Unbeaten from the Start of the Season. We were beaten in our 14th League game which matches the 13 game unbeaten start to 1985/86. Most wins in a season - 24 in 1961/62. Again, another record smashed. The new record is 29. Record Unbeaten Run in a Season - 16 games in 1950/51. New record set of 18 games, ended at Stenhousemuir. Earliest Date for Clinching a League Title - 20th April 2002 was the previous earliest (it was 28th April 1951). This one was clinched on 27th March 2013. Most points in a season using 2 points for a win - 55 in 85/86 (which was a 39 game season). This season's record equates to 63 despite being three games shorter. Least defeats in a season - 5 in 1932/33. Best post war is 6 in 1950/51. This season we lost just TWO league games. (Tied Record) Record Unbeaten Run at Home (League Only) - 18 games. We will go into next season with a chance to beat this. Least goals conceded in a league season - 31 in 1923/24 but that was a 30 game season. 33 in a 38 game season in 74/75 is probably better. However, this season finishes with just 23 goals conceded. Best goal difference in a season - +45 in 1961/62. We finish this season with a goal difference of +69. (Tied Record) Most Goals for an Individual in a Season (All Competitions) - J Rutherford 41 goals, Nicky Clark ties this with 41 goals in 46 games. And, the one that got away................... Most goals scored in a season - 99 in 1931/32. Best post war is 94 in 1959/60. We came up just short on this one, finishing the league season with 92 goals. Still an astonishing return in modern football though. Happy to hear of any corrections in the above existing records? I might have missed something or there may be errors in the source data somewhere.

'Horrific boots photos' thread for these.

EUROPEAN TROPHY BY 2020

Bob Seger And The Silver Bullet Band - We've Got Tonight

The Real Thing - You To Me Are Everything

Standard Fat Sally M.O. A naked and base appeal to the myopic and triumphalist section of the Sevconians, all designed to deflect from his professional shortcomings and protect his job and shareholding.

I'm sure that Rico and Hellboy will pull Wunf up about that.

I never realised the crossbar challenge was so heavily stacked, only registered blind fans allowed to enter?

Sweet - Fox on the Run

I'm sure that promotion spot you secured hel... Wait a minute, you won the same as us - f**k all. Who would have thunk it? Away back to part time football after the sweetie man decides he's had enough spunking cash on a club in a town that doesn't care.

Population of Scotland 5,295,000. Number of Bears saying GIRFUY, 50,000. Add the at risk beaten wives and kids who will also say GIRFUY. Assume another 100,000. The rest of Scotland = 5,145,000 who are saying GIRFUY to Rangers and their kith and kin at varying levels of intensity.

I thought it another successful attempt to suck in hard of thinking Rangers fans to part with coin, to be fair it seems to be working, again. Talking about rip off Govan, how did the crossbar challenge go?

4-1. That is all.

Banning the BBC! Again!

SHULL ! a new British world record of over 50,000 for a fourth tier match them Rangers fans are damn good at camouflaging themselves as blue seats all 2,000 plus of them easily

You're big two what?

Banned for telling the Bears the truth about Sir Dave. Banned for telling the Bears the truth about Craig Whyte. Banned for telling the Bears the truth about Charlie Green. I'm seeing a pattern forming, here. I don't know why the blazers at Ibrox are so touchy about it, to be honest. Clearly, the BBC could screen a live broadcast of Rangers directors using the Fighting Fund to wipe their arses while lighting Cuban cigars with the season ticket money, and the Teds would just protest Reporting Scotland.

More likely to happen than than Philpy's Edinburgh crawl IMO

Dave Pallett hit a 104 average to beat Phil Taylor in the 1st round of the Players' Championship today. Mental.

The records interview with ally Received well on the swamp.... The usual suspects defend him though.....glorious reading at this time of day...

Yes, I am. Kind of. I know there's an apparent contradicton in saying that a pro-Rangers press played a part in getting the club ripped off, but it's true. In much the same way that a presumaby pro-Rangers support allowed it too. The press weren't conspiring with Whyte or Green to carry out their dastardly plans, but they weren't keen to look too closely either, lest they upset those who deserve better. They also hoped all was well and like many fans, found it easier to cross their fingers than enquire. A compliant press has certainly helped with the humbling of Rangers.

The Beatles - Fool On The Hill

Even if its found to be the worst case of rule breaking. The SFA will look the other way because it suits them.

The Rolling Stones - Dear Doctor

Electric Light Orchestra - Mr Blue Sky

The Kinks - All Day, and All of the Night

I'm going with "KovasSixteenIncher" if I'm ever tragic enough to get an alias.

Fixed that for you

Of course this article can be used to beat up the Sevco loyal, and have another laugh at their expense. However anyone with the slightest interest in either Scottish businesses or Scottish football must read this with feelings of total humiliation and frustration. That such a bunch of shysters and crooks should have been able to get their hands on such a significant Scottish business and football club is shameful. A stain on a nation. We can feel anger about what has happened since the man with 'wealth off the radar' appeared How the media experts played along with the fraud, the supporters who sucked in up in a totally unquestioning way, and the authorities who connived and colluded. Those laughed at and threatened from the Tax Case blog to P&B and Off the Ball have been the voices of sense and reason. Everyone else who has been involved or guilty of getting it wrong for so long and so often should acknowledge this. We can say we must make sure this type of thing never happens again, and people like Whyte, Green should never be allowed to run a football club, or hopefully any company ever again. But the best way to stop this, is to make sure we never create the opportunity for people like them to exploit the situation. So who created this one? David Murray is a standout, aided by Campbell Ogilvie who was in the cesspit up to his knees waving it through while pocketing the dosh (tax free), and of the course the SFA. A body which only matches its incompetence with its poisonous behaviour behind their closed doors. All projects that deliver any public money via the SFA must be terminated by the Scottish Government while they clean out the current brigade and bring in a new regime that is honest, capable and more concerned about Scottish football than being preoccupied by their own personal gain. Ogilvie goes first.

Saw this on mine just now.

This is a brilliant thread, I'm delighted to have discovered it. There's a guy I used to work with who I'm friends with on Facebook. He's a simple man with simple pleasures and his timeline is nothing more than observations about St Johnstone, Liverpool, how well he's played at fives, what he's had for dinner (or a "munch" as he calls it accompanied by a picture) and if anything interesting's happening at his work. He's an irritant, but you can forgive him. His gran passed away recently. A sad affair for any young man to bear, but the number of status updates about her death has reached Diana-esque proportions. On the day she passed over, he put three updates: the first was how she was the strongest person he knew; the second was the last thing she said to him; and the third was about how she died the same day as Maggie Thatcher. It appears as though he'll show off how much he's grieving for his gran at any opportunity. He has changed his name on Twitter to "RIP Gran 1923-2013" (I don't follow him but he responded to one of my tweets) and also got a tattoo to celebrate her memory. Check out this monstrosity: When he put up the picture, one of his friends wrote "Hahahahahahaha", a fair response to such an awful tattoo. Thi led to his father and his girlfriend saying the guy was "scum" and would "rot in hell" for making fun of it. There's far too many thick people on the internet.

Fucking hell . If Mordor had a nightclub id imagine the loft is the closest idea to the creatures in there !

2nd guy in from left - should be legal to punch anyone with such a smug pus. Also Obey t-shit = kick to the studs.

Boy in the middle: "Tonight Matthew, Gareth Southgate will be Bob Dylan"

Can we please have a substantial increase in the quantum of whyte green d-o-t-s for forum users? They help spread the love... Edit to add: When I wrote d-o-t-s what I really meant was round, spherical, objects, like err, Ally McCoist. Hope that clears things up.

2nd place from 8th last season, what a disaster.

Club - deid. Creditors - stiffed. Never mind aw that, though - look at their shiny D3 trophy. Now they've got a trophy their (ex)rivals will never win, as well.Much FJ getting quaffed in the schemes tonight, methinks....

Undoubtedly correct about their ineptitude, but that ineptitude was due to the insidious relationships between the two clubs and their favoured scribes, who grew fat and lazy on a diet of succulent lamb and spoon fed titbits of "exclusives". Failure to keep the party line would result in the dinner invitation getting torn up and being sent to bed with no dinner....(or exclusive). Utterly pathetic.

Trainspotting. Absolute fucking shite. Really didn't enjoy it.