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We've just found out that we're expecting our first! A bit of a surprise and I'm still getting over the shock of it all I have to say the constant feeling of sickness/tiredness is starting to get to me - I'm hoping it passes soon! Will soldier on though, and try ginger tea to help (not sure if thsi will actually work, but at this stage I'm willing to try anything!!)

Mentally you passed this milestone a long time ago.

A girl I used to work with thought that Elvis sang "Return to Senga". Another asked one day "What day is Good Friday on?"

His mum's an expert on going down, as well.

Left him sleeping peacefully on his own and not attached to anything tonight. Not even a monitor. They are very pleased with his progress though apparently getting out tomorrow isn't a certainty. If he needs an oxygen boost at any point tonight (not sure how they'll know that given he's not on the monitor any more?) then he certainly won't get home tomorrow. If he gets through fine himself then he may well do, as long as they are satisfied his treatment can be moved from nebulizers to inhalers without any negative effect. He's been moved from the single room right next to the nurses to a four bed room at the very end of the ward which is another indication they don't feel the need to look in on him constantly. He has the four bed room to himself at the moment too so that's ideal.

Don't panic, we might hear something in the evening papers.

Spoiler tags FFS

When bernard matthews died there was a headline which read "Turkey legend bernard matthews dies" My gf said "bernard matthews....thats a strange name for a turkish guy"

Smokers who are considerate to people sitting at their table ie they hold their fag away from their table and blow smoke out the corner of their mouths away from their friends. Of course what the fuckwits conveniently forget (or don't care about) is that their lit cigarette is now a couple of feet away from me and you've just blown that fucking stinking smoke into my face. Fuckwits.

Baby girl Madison made her appearance this afternoon at 1.23pm after only 38 weeks. She weighed in at 6 lbs 8 oz and mother and child are fine.

Laurie Ellis will be a future Raith mananger in three seperate spells....

The wind that shakes the Barley Sky plussed this a couple weeks back and watched for the first time last night. Its set in Ireland and gives a real close to the bone feel of the wars of the early 20th century between the IRA and the British army. ITs a quite stunning, sad, epic and brilliant movie. One which made me even less proud of the british army. Must watch 10/10.

1) Bored! - Get aff Facebook and go outside then you stupid c**t. 2) Guilt trip 97% of people on FB won't repost this - I'm a proud member of that 97%. 3) Attention seeking women - I get intrigued and want to know what is making your shite life even shitter that you have to gain some false concern so either say what is bothering you or get yer lame, feeling sorry for yourself arse to f**k. 4) Declarations of love - They don't love you back because quality time that you can spend with them is spent posting rage inducing fucking claptrap. 5) OF Pish - Brought live to your PC through the medium of misspelt bigotry by folk who haven't been in Ibrox or Parkhead in their puff.

Oh and 6. When people copy and paste something shite and says will you post this on your wall, 97% won't. Utter shite

Special mention to folk who put picture of their baby as their display pic.

There really isn't enough metal based on ancient Rome. A new Ex Deo album should be out this year and I'm looking forward to it.

Was in class today discussing what super powers would be nice to have when a girl behind me shouts "I wish we could see in 3D all the time!"

Christ, does she know her arse from her elbow?!

My bird: "Europe's a big country eh!?" I think I actually fell off the couch. Slept there as well

Simmons is shite.

Simmons was probably our best central midfielder last season, and i'd have kept him ahead of Davidson. If he plays well, he'll be street ahead of any other second division midfielder, when he can't be bothered, he'll fade in with the rest, but still comfortably do a job.

My auntie did that, but it wasn't even the same kind of car. She was being picked up by someone driving a navy blue Focus, and instead she jumped into the passenger seat of some boy-racer's navy Corsa. He shat it, she casually said "Oh, nice car!" and got back out again.

enjoy the sofa!

People who continually make statuses about Everton FC. Intensely irritating.

Research document for use in the near to mid future.

Er because quite possibly he might not be bought by anyone else either now or in the New Year and we'd be left paying a player a salary we'd be nowhere near able to afford. Also, he'll be 24 on August 28th. If he wanted to sign elsewhere without a fee all he'd have to do is wait until that date to do it regardless of what we offered him.

Oh on the bus a couple of days ago and a girl goes "I got 68% out of 100"