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Allah.

Sam Mitchell has weird ears. But great tits.

if you have a beard, quite high, if you have your name written on your clothes, quite low

Was at the WWE house show in Aberdeen last night. Lots of empty seats; maybe tonight's will be busier? Loads of kids wearing their Cena and Mysterio garb, even though neither would be appearing. Here was the card: MVP vs Dolph Ziggler Massive support for MVP which I found suprising because I think he's awful. Only McIntyre got a bigger reaction all night. MVP 'double dog dared' Ziggler to put the IC title up. After much faffing, Ziggler refused. This was a short but competent match that MVP won. Lots of comedy overselling from Ziggler. Alberto Del Rio vs Matt Hardy Someone in the crowd had a 'Matt Lardy' sign, to which Matt showed off his torso. After he took off his t-shirt, you can see that the man actually does have a bit of a gut, like an aging boxer. Hardy had a lot of fan support here, but Del Rio was only booed when he did heelish things. Think a lot of the fans still don't know who he was. Del Rio said he should be facing Kane for the title, then laughed about how he put Rey in the hospital and said he'd do the same to Matt. He didn't, but he did win this decent match with his spinning armbar type thing. Jack Swagger vs Chris Masters The announcer billed this as an 'ankle lock vs master lock' bout, i.e. a submission bout. That didn't stop the ref from counting the men out when they were on the outside! Pretty good back and forward bout that saw Masters try to get the master lock on Swagger but fail a few times. Swagger won with a play straight from the Kurt Angle play book with a roll through counter into the ankle lock for the tap out. Cody Rhodes vs Drew McIntyre Before the match, Rhodes tried to rile the crowd by claiming how great America was. He then started to sing the American national anthem, only to be interrupted by Ziggler. Ziggler agreed with Rhodes about how great America was, and then he tried to sing the American anthem, only to be interrupted by Swagger. Swagger then agreed with them both about how great America was, and then all three of them sang the American national anthem very poorly. Amusingly they all needed the words written down. They were interrupted by a kilt wearing Drew McIntyre, who was the most over performer of the night. He said some nonsense about how there were three of them and just him, but he's Scottish so he's mental. 3 on 1 beatdown until the ref made Swagger and Ziggler go to the back (incidentally the three of them would make a great heel stable). Drew promised to make Rhodes wear the kilt after he beat him. Good match that Drew won with the Futureshock DDT. He then rolled the prone Rhodes up in the kilt, and when Rhodes 'came to' he was aghast to be wearing it. INTERMISSION Loads of crap. Ashley threw t-shirts into the crowd and we were told about all the upcoming WWE events. Woman's match Dreadful. It was Layla against someone, perhaps Kelly Kelly? I don't keep up with the 'Divas' because they're awful. Layla had her half of the woman's title. She lost. CM Punk vs Christian Some amusing prematch banter here. Christian was quite over with the crowd. A bit of a slow start here, but it picked up. Christian nearly hit the Killswitch a few times, but was always denied. Punk won with the Go To Sleep. A feud between these two could be decent as they worked well in the ring. Kane vs Big Show (World Heavyweight Championship) This was announced as a street fight. It wasn't really. In fact it was pretty rank. Both plodded along, and the stipulation was nonsense. Only one pinfall was attempted outside the ring, with Kane getting a 2 count on the ramp. Kane tried to introduce a kendo stick, but Show took it off him and snapped it half before throwing it out of the ring. The 'action' was slow and pretty dull, as you would expect from these two. The finish came when CM Punk handed Kane a chair, who delivered the weakest ever shot to Show's stomach, before DDT'ing him on the chair. Afterwards Show punched out Punk after the old 'doulbe cross' (he offered Punk his hand then hit the big punch).

I won't let my wife forget her observation that Stephen Hawking was clearly from the US, based on his accent

"Look over there, that is a massive white pigeon!" "That's a seagull."

Do Selfridges, sell fridges?

How about phoning the club and asking?

It is still an option though, no matter how small the debt.

His mum's an expert on going down, as well.

2 things at the moment 1. People not answering you on the Quick Question Thread 2. Robotic bank tellers. I walked into a Bank of Scotland in Glasgow yesterday and stright to a teller as there was no queue. The first thing she said to me was 'sorry for your wait there'!! The second thing she asked was - 'what are you up to today', just as the teller next to her asked the guy she was servingthe same question - get a life.

Yes, I know that it all makes sense.

After a quick Google. "For what it's worth"