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Showing content with the highest reputation on 22/08/10 in all areas

  1. I'm pretty sure what just came out of my arse could have been scooped up, re-plated and served as tonight's dinner all over again. To say I'm nervous about the coming hours and attempting to sleep is an understatement. It all started innocently, a lovely home-cooked meal by myself, John Torode's Thai Rendang, I can highly recommend it, about half an hour after polishing off the last of the meal I began to have some rumbles of discontent, not uncommon for me as I'm sure many people will empathise with, I put this down to just my usual behaviour. Curling up on the sofa to enjoy Match of the Day and the rumbles began to grow longer, louder and fluctuated between bassy and squeaky. I knew all was not well. Then it happened. The mad dash of a man who is destined for a date with the toilet, after suffering through the horror of waiting for my girlfriend's sister to finish her shower and taking what seemed like hours between turning off the shower and actually emerging from the bathroom, I finally was able to take refuge in the chamber of horrors. The preliminary rounds were worryingly routine, leading me to wonder whether or not I had been a bit too fretful about my prospects, then it began. I'm sure we've all been there, when the torrent is unleashed. The heat, the feel, the sound all of which comes as a relief whilst at the same time disgust at what is happening down below and then the smell. Oh God the smell. This ordeal lasted a further 10 minutes, whereupon, convinced all was fine, I concluded my business, had a shower and got ready for bed. I fear what I am experiencing now is simply a temporary ceasefire as the band is tuning up again, with every rumble and groan I dread that the next one is going to be the dreaded shart, an uncomfortable night is in store.
    2 points
  2. I've turned up at half time before and had to pay half price while only being allowed into the main stand as that was the only open turnstyle.
    1 point
  3. Starting tomorrow (23rd) until Sunday (29th) Tesco are doing various 24 x 440ml cans for £10. Including(but not limited to): Carlsberg Carling Foster's Strongbow Stella 4% Tennent's There are also various others e.g. 20 bottles of Bud, 20 cans of Stella 5%.
    1 point
  4. Probably been said already but the new Webuyanycar.com advert is 100% cringe!
    1 point
  5. Consider yourself in. C. Muir, stop being a wee girl and confirm yourself as in now. You know fine well you'll wake up at tea time tomorrow and be bored stiff and after you've wanked yourself silly for a couple of hours will be gagging for a game.
    1 point
  6. You really might want to leave your laptop turned off before you go out drinking. It doesn't end well for you.
    1 point
  7. http://www.kingtuts.co.uk/events.html?cmd=view&event_id=5532 ooooh bedouin Soundclash are playing at king Tuts
    1 point
  8. This is england. One of the best films i've seen. Stephen graham was absolutly amazing in it (as was the little boy), i dunno why stephen is not so well known8)
    1 point
  9. Jessie eh? well fcuk you then, I will raise those spiders as my own and command a spider army to take you down a few pegs... No amount of tissues or hairspray in the world can stop us....
    1 point
  10. I notice another director was appointed on 30th July but no mention yet on the official website. Why the big secret?
    -1 points
  11. -1 points
  12. Naw yer no invited ya VL Greenock tosspot! Anyway, after waking up in my hall this morning in a pool of my own spew, it's safe to say I'm pretty ill today. I've got a college induction tomorrow morning at 9am aswell so if I'm still ill then I'll be kipping when I get home right through till Tuesday. So for now, out.
    -1 points
  13. Minus 1 ya rampant p***kbasket. You've got off with less birds than the number of times L. Rodgers has shaved her beard.
    -1 points
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