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Indeed. The only sad f**k on this forum is you. You swan about P&B thinking your so fucking cool, it's pathetic!

you realise thats just a made up term. like nutritionist -where the legal position is a dietitian, I couldn't even find -in a quick google search- a legal version of that term. I also think the use of the term "practitioner" is misleading. it suggests a medical basis. the "that will help" is also misleading, it should be 'may help' in the same way as cough mixture may -but probably wont- help or honey and lemon may help -but probably wont. its a cough. she needs to tough it out and it'll go away. In many ways your alternative lifestyle and thoughts from that direction can be a mild amusement and broaden perspectives but on this, a medical/science matter, its advised to, yes offer a perspective but temper your enthusiasm as indicated above please. just as others wouldn't dream of commenting on an alternative religion/home office policy matter -though yes I realise some exasperated individuals do but they are the minority. actually the best bit of your post was directions to holland and barratt

What's sad about trying to make someone feel better about a shit week?

Paisley's one way system. Grrr. Subsequently accidentally referring to Paisley as 'Pishley' in a professional conversation. Oh dear.

You're such a knob sometimes.

Chucked bacon and sausages on the grill, fancied a doubler covered in broon sauce to kick off my day, was cooking up a storm so I fired in the shower with my parting message of "keep an eye on my breakfast love so it disnae burn", I dunno if I washed my sack an extra time or whatever but by the time I re-entered the kitchen my breakfast was burnt tae f**k. Cheers hen, I was tempted to shite in her piece box as revenge.

I've got a couple left, you needing a hitman?

Women really are absolute fucking morons. Sorry. But they are. This is "Question Time", not "Nag Kelvin McKenzie with a sarcastic comment Time" Secondly "Anon-minit-eh" Is apparently now a word.

You're a loser.

Yes please.

Sometimes?

Seeing as I have been asked a reasonably courteous question (I'll ignore the 'goat' reference), I shall provide a courteous reply. )O( is representative of the moon phases - - and is particularly associated with the those of the Triple Goddess Pagan Path.

I wish I had a negative point to give.

Gareth Southgate. 1. Dishing out tactical advice like Moses on the Mount to Fulham: this from a man who single-handedly got Middlesborough relegated and is yet to win any managerial acheivement whatsoever. 2. "Typical Italian defenders always pull you like that." Yes Gareth, the footballing culture famed for its defensive discipline and love of clean sheets just loves giving referees judgement calls within their own box. It must be the sort of elaborate form of suicide you clearly tried out, once again, at Middlesborough. 3. "The referee has played overtime there." Yes, Gareth, because Zamora picked up an injury and the game had to be further halted because of this. I mean honestly, what a complete fucking swampy.

I think I must be the only person in the world who doesn't find the "Leigh Griffiths Starts A Blog" thread in the first division forum funny in the slightest.

Why? Because I was offering some helpful advice to another person?

Points whore! Err, no! Thank you for answering the question - that's all that was asked. It's not like you to deliberately misinterpret every word posted, is it?

I'll give you the "may" help in place of "will", but other than that I don't see anything wrong with what I advised. I should add that I usually advise people in person and 'bit' after xbl's post; a rider I always give is check with your GP. As for others not dreaming of commenting on alternative lifestyles or Home Office polcy matters, have you not read some of the responses on here or travelled in a Glasgow Taxi?!?!

When you come back, would you like to go and edit that as well?!

Just out of pure curiosity, why do you feel the need to air this on a football forum?? Is it so all the sad fucks will swarm round you and say 'there there, it'll be ok'? I just don't see the point.

Thank feck you're not an aromatherapist. Or a herbal remedy practitioner either, as Lavender oil is not the first essential oil I'd use for the symptoms described. Lavender is primarily used for relaxation, settled sleep and de-stressing massages. Depending on the type of cough she has, there are several herbal treatments that will help. Peppermint tea is very good at surpressing the cough reflex. Marshmallow root, frequently used in commercially available cough medicines, is helpful in easing a dry, hacking cough. Wild Cherry Bark syrup is a great expectorant if she has a phlegmy, congested chest cough. A quick trip to Holland & Barratt by Paisley Piazza should sort her out. If she wants to add an essential oil to the treatment, then Lavender can be used as it is a relaxant and inhalation will ease the respiratory tract. But I would recommend Cedarwood - good for loosening mucus, Eucalyptus - which does the same but with the added benefit of reducing inflammation. If she's been coughing that much, the throat will be very sore and Eucalyptus will ease that. She could also try Rosemary or Sandalwood oils - both of which ease upper respiratory tract infections. Obviously it helps if she has an essential oil burner and knows how to use it! I am waiving my usual consultation fee as a favour to Mountain Ash and shall send some positive energies her way. I realise you were trying to take the piss, (chanting any invocations to whatever deity would only exacerbate the cough, BTW, ya daftie!), but don't dabble in what you don't know. I wouldn't dream of advising you or anyone else of the comparative benefits of Monster Munch over Quavers, for example. Blessed Be! )O(