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Showing content with the highest reputation since 22/06/18 in all areas

  1. 54 points
    This is my favourite photo of all time. Considering chucking out our entire wedding album and just replacing it with this. I want to be buried with this photo lying on my chest [emoji7][emoji7][emoji7]
  2. 51 points
  3. 47 points
    Snapshot of PMs. I feel it is time to speak out. I hope anyone facing online bullying realises they are not alone. Support is available. If anyone else else on this forum wants to talk then I am here if you wish to get in touch.
  4. 47 points
    England is basically what Rangers would be like as a country
  5. 44 points
    Colombia gave us cocaine, beautiful women and class coffee. England gave us Brexit, Margaret Thatcher and Glenn Hoddle. 3-0 Colombia. Get these c***s out so I can enjoy the rest of the World Cup.
  6. 42 points
    The last thing Bali needs is another Flood.
  7. 41 points
    I hope England get fucked, and none of the sneering, morally superior, uber-offended, contrarian snowflakes on this sub-forum are going to convince me any differently.
  8. 41 points
  9. 40 points
    I know it’s a time for looking at English tears but keep in mind the big man that’s done this. He done f**k all really, got nailed by the ultimate brexiteer who shouted at him while he was poleaxed only to get up and batter one in. Please stand for the new king of dishing telts to the English, Mário Mandzukic
  10. 38 points
    Simple Simon met a barman, Going to buy a drink; Says Simple Simon to the barman I want gin, I'll take it pink. Says the barman to Simple Simon Show me first four pound; Says Simple Simon to the barman, Make it a quid, because I'm sound. Says the barman to Simple Simon, Look, I'll be quite blunt; I'm no stealing the stock for you ya dick, So f*** off ya stingey c***.
  11. 35 points
  12. 35 points
    If you’ve never prayed professionally you don’t have a fucking clue.
  13. 32 points
    Ah yes, B&Q, that renowned hotbed of romance. Some say Wickes is good for a fling, Homebase for a rebound, but everyone knows B&Q is where you take a girl you see a future with.
  14. 31 points
  15. 31 points
    It's just an internet forum. You're getting emotional about coloured dots. On a Scottish football website. 'Destroy me with a witty riposte'. FFS.
  16. 30 points
    Heads gone thread for this pish etc.
  17. 29 points
    Calling someone who’s going through mental health issues a basket case is piss poor.
  18. 29 points
  19. 27 points
  20. 27 points
  21. 27 points
    To be honest mate its not ideal but we are going to be a very small fish in a very big pond this coming season. We don't want to be another "Brechin" and the only way to avoid that will to be make us hard to beat, hoping to get the odd goal here and there from counter attacking or from set pieces. If packing the defense and narrowing the pitch even slightly narrows the gap with Falkirk and the other 8 "#juggernaut" then so be it. If it does not work out then Goodwin might try a more expansive option but at this stage with the squad we have it would be suicidal to go toe to toe with Falkirk, Ross County, Partick, Dundee Utd, ICT and the like. As a side issue, Hartley took us through the divisions playing open attacking football but changed our set up and style once we got to the championship, realizing that we just could not compete playing that way. Anyway we will see how it goes, to be honest for us its a great league to be in this season, with our small ground its going to be more than half full every home game, hopefully with a wee bit of atmosphere, a lot more attractive proposition than the usual 400-500 hardy souls watching Stranraer, Albion Rovers and Queens Park (no disrespect to these teams but you get my drift). Hope you guys go well this season, always liked Falkirk and with Hartley there also, wish you all a successful season.
  22. 26 points
    Love this from a Spurs forum. RIP to probably the closest we will ever have to a God at Dens.
  23. 25 points
  24. 25 points
    Posted some of these before: (All from the same guy at work. Genuinely 100% true, swear on my sons life, right hand up to god etc these words came out of his mouth) His dad found £10,000 down the back of the sofa. Out on his boat in the Firth of Forth, the captain of a Submarine asked him over the Tannoy to move away - As he was approaching HMS property. He slid down the Pyramids. On the same holiday to Egypt he was almost refused entry to the UK - As border control didn't believe such a sallow skinned person could have possibly have come from his mum and dad. Apparently the tan he received on that holiday still exists to this day too. Gave his wife umpteen orgasms as she was sleeping. As he was pumping his girlfriend (doggy style), her flatmat came into the room looking for her glasses. Saw what was going on and looked over his shoulder and commented favourably on his massive manhood. After I asked him what he was doing at the weekend, his answer was "Fitting a £12,000 sound system in his mates Subaru Impreza." Managed to get from Strathaven to Manchester for the UEFA cup final in an hour and a half. He travelled north, from Strathaven again, going 90 mph for three hours solid. Saved East Kilbride shopping centre from a terrorist attack by chucking a Muslimy looking guy with a rucksack out of the fire escape. An unarmed duo comprising of himself and his brother saved a bookies in Paisley from an armed robber. He fought the same brother in the UK Karate championships. Although his mum and dad had to leave as it was such a bloodbath. His mate owns and runs the website Heaven666. There are probably a few I've forgotten.
  25. 25 points
  26. 24 points
  27. 23 points
    If I realised I'd be sent PMs this hilarious I'd have started red dotting all the pictures of his cat ages ago.
  28. 23 points
  29. 23 points
    Gary Lineker, Gary Neville, Glenn Hoddle, Charlie Stayt, Jamie Vardy, Frank Skinner, Allan Russell, Clive Tyldsley, the guy who owns Wetherspoons, Nigel Farage, Ian 'Wrighty' Wright, Prince William, David Baddiel, Theresa May, Harry 'Good Honest Pro' Maguire, The Sun Sub who made up that 'Go-Kane' front page, Jessie '#JLingz' Lingard, Stephen Daisley, Steven Gerrard, Harry Kane, Stan Collymore, Phil 'Fizzer' Neville, Mark Pougatch and every Brexiteer in the country.
  30. 23 points
  31. 22 points
    Sorry, what that post really should have said was, Banana's a fucking c**t. I mispoke. Happens to everyone all the time.
  32. 22 points
    The best thing about Mandžukić's goal was that Pickford had been taunting him whilst he lay injured on the ground only minutes earlier. Pickford is a horrible little scrote, and he got exactly what he deserved.
  33. 22 points
    FAO Jonathan Pierce FAO Glenn Hoddle FAO Clive "Clive" Tyldesley
  34. 22 points
    Lots of battle metaphors flying around the Brexit nutcases this morning. The Daily Mail in its lead article sets the tone.....'negotiators sent into battle with white flags'.....there's not much honour in Johnson 'being second over the top'........the UK will have 'colonial status'......May will 'stand and fight for the country'......Johnson 'declares war on Chequers plan'. All that within the first paragraph. It's a rather frightening view into the mind of your average right-wing fanatic. Do people really see this as a 'conflict situation' ? What a pathetic, wee, parochial, backwards, inferior country the UK has become. Continually having the need to fight some kind of historical battles about something. Drag yourself into the 21st century, you utter c*nts.
  35. 22 points
    Was home too late last night to do a proper summary on the game last night and I am now bored at work so i'll fire one out the now for anyone interested in how we got on. I was really pleased with the balance of the team especially in the first half of the game and it is quite obvious to see Hartley is trying to add as much width as possible to the side with Petra definitely being the main man for that. He had a really good game and showed some quality control and touches in tight space on the wing. It also looked like (at times) like we are going to try and play out from the keeper with Fasan always keen to play it short which I prefer. Looking at the first half I wouldn't be surprised if McGhee is being looked at as the RWB as the trialist was pretty rotten imo unless there is someone else in the pipeline. Robson was a real threat in spells and was playing really high up most of the game which is pleasing because I haven't seen that consistently since Leahy. Harrison could as someone actually predicted a while back be our diamond in the rough, clearly lacks in pace but is so comfortable on the ball and seemed to always find his man with his balls out from the back. Sammut is a very good passer of the ball and will probably just take a while to get up to the speed of men's football. Paton is clearly a very limited footballer but sounded like a very good leader for the young lads and he absolutely crunched GMS which was quite funny. Froxy is gonna frustrate us all season but there is gonna be flashes of brilliance so I guess we will just have to take the shit that comes with it. Turner looks like Nelson 2.0 but could be just a little bit more clinical and the Trialist striker is just far to lightweight to cut it in this league. Overall was pleasing to watch us compete with a first choice dons side even if it was a friendly, saw enough to make me really optimistic for the season ahead, also downside is a total lack of presence upfront which I hope will be rectified by Hartley before the season starts.
  36. 22 points
  37. 22 points
    I'm not using Scotrail ever again if that fucking clown is being let loose on the railway.
  38. 21 points
  39. 21 points
    Some folk needing a reminder of the point of this glorious thread.....
  40. 21 points
    I think he looks more like an angry Rolf Harris these days tbf.
  41. 21 points
    Hardly meaningless - you signed a shite, angry liability who has now decided he doesn't fancy playing for your team. I've done some careful checking, and the joke is still on Dunfermline here.
  42. 20 points
    When the 147th Open Championship gets under way on Thursday morning from Carnoustie, the great Sandy Lyle will have played in a remarkable 43 of them. The 1985 champion has the honour of hitting the opening tee shot at 6:35am, beginning what is likely to be his final appearance in the event that he first graced in 1974 aged 16. Now 60 and facing the culmination of his exemption for becoming the first British golfer to etch his name on the Claret Jug since the days of Tony Jacklin, the game’s most underrated trailblazer is embarking on his last walk in golf’s most historic tournament. “It'll be quite emotional I'm sure coming down the 18th, whether it's the second day or the four rounds,” Lyle told BBC Scotland. That is just one of the many threads that will weave together and form the story of this Open, which returns to the revered Championship Course in Angus that will be presented characteristically differently from past majors to have descended upon the unassuming town. The hot and dry summer months that we’ve experienced have scorched the fairways of the links, laying out conditions that we have rarely seen in recent decades. With these lightning fast and running fairways, the dynamic of the famously ominous challenge of this layout is altered dramatically. The intelligently positioned bunkers – for which Carnoustie is renowned for – become effectively twice the size and the safe targets are narrower. There will be a greater premium on accuracy and strategy, controlling the ball on the ground and the air. It’s a paradise for the best strikers and will provide a test that is the antithesis of the target golf that we are accustomed to seeing on tour. The finishing sequence of holes – 15, 16, 17 and 18 – have long been regarded as the most unrelenting on the rotation. Consequently, we have seen a series of disasters through the years, but there is also the opportunity to complete something truly special. What makes Carnoustie is not the fact that it’s just a difficult examination, but rather that it’s a challenge that isn’t gimmicky or tricked up. This is a venue that rewards great shots. But it demands them, and whoever lifts the Claret Jug on Sunday will have been the player who best delivered on those expectations. World number one Dustin Johnson is a narrow favourite but hasn’t played competitively since the U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills, where he finished in third place. Illustrating the notable depth of potential contenders, there isn’t a standout from the pack. Justin Rose is among the game’s most precise exponents – and has an approach that is engineered around the biggest tournaments – though his record in the Open is a comparatively mediocre note on his quality resume, 20 years removed from his extraordinary breakthrough performance at Royal Birkdale. Rickie Fowler – like Rose a Scottish Open winner – has long expressed his love for golf’s purest form and possesses the array of shots to succeed here, coming months after his brilliant run at the Masters, where he finished runner-up to Patrick Reed. The 29-year-old now seems more primed than before to win a major, and many will fancy him to triumph at Carnoustie on Sunday, continuing an impressive run of American champions in the game’s four most important events. Former champion Rory McIlroy is a difficult figure to assess. Displaying sensational bursts of his best play – such as during the Arnold Palmer Invitational and several rounds at Augusta and Wentworth – the four-time major winner missed the cut at the U.S. Open and has faced questions about where he stands. Returning to the venue where he won the Silver Medal as an 18-year-old amateur, the Northern Irishman’s Claret Jug triumph at Hoylake was in dramatically contrasting circumstances – with rain having softened the lush course – but perhaps this is the week he reminds us of his extraordinary talent that we first saw over a decade ago. The wonderfully gifted but temperamentally questionable Jon Rahm is a significant threat, as is ball-striking extraordinaire Tommy Fleetwood, who came agonisingly close at Shinnecock, and holds the course record at Carnoustie, admittedly in the relative quiet of the Dunhill Links. But the Englishman will be hoping to become the first Champion Golfer of the Year from south of the border since Sir Nick Faldo in 1992 at Muirfield. Defending champion Jordan Spieth has struggled on the greens throughout this season on the PGA Tour, but as we witnessed at the Masters and during his dramatic victory at Birkdale, the young Texan has a mental capacity for the game that few can imagine, and boasts the enviable ability to produce moments of sheer magic at the right time. That quality counts for a lot during the pressures and twists of a major championship. Brooks Koepka, Justin Thomas, Alex Noren, 2007 runner-up Sergio Garcia, and in-form Francesco Molinari could feature prominently during the week, and Scottish fans will be backing recent Irish Open winner Russell Knox, whose achievements have seen him granted the noted company of Hideki Matsuyama and Tiger Woods. But what of the three-time champion, who is back in the Open for the first time since 2015. Now 42, the former world number one has been a consistent factor on leaderboards this season, which is quite something considering the apparent demise of both his body and career. Conditions at Carnoustie are reminiscent of his victories at Royal Liverpool in 2006 and St. Andrews in 2000, and while it’s clear that the 14-time major winner is not the same unstoppable force he was then, he’s still better than most, and boasts a catalogue of experience that could see him contend. Now, that would be a story to rival that of Paul Lawrie’s staggering comeback victory of 1999 and the masterclass of the legendary Ben Hogan in 1953. This is the eighth Open that Carnoustie has hosted, and the ingredients are there to see it become one that stands apart in the centuries old history of this Championship. The Open is a breathing hallmark of the past that continues to develop and enhance itself. One man will cross the Barry Burn and become part of that enduring legacy.
  43. 20 points
    Think I’ll give this a miss, you massive creep.
  44. 20 points
    EU to tell May to f**k off over Brexit and Liz Windsor to pop her clogs would make it perfect.
  45. 20 points
    Stuff like 'family of nations' is birthday caird pish and belongs in the fucking sea next to half and half scarves. Have a bit respect for yourself. If Hearts make the Scottish Cup semi-finals and play Motherwell, I'd want Motherwell to win obviously, because it's a rivalry. I won't be sitting thinking ' Hearts are part of the 'Edinburgh' family, or they're our 'neighbours', so let's back them'. I'd want Ryan Bowman's elbows to turn Berra's face into a bloody mess, I'd want Kipre to be snapping legs, I'd want every man, woman and child in maroon to be a seething, headsgone fucking mess at full time. Football is all about rivalries, something the bootlicking simpletons seem to have forgotten.
  46. 20 points
  47. 20 points
    Unemployed Professional liar Drugs courier Polis Tortoise sexer.
  48. 20 points
    Please thank Mrs SP for expanding my lexicon today. I'd been backpacking around the world for almost 2 years and almost out of money, was heading east through the US on the last leg. I lost my credit card while in Phoenix, Arizona and in those pre-Internet days had a hell of a job trying to get my bank to send out a new one. They wouldn't send it to my parents, I had no permanent address and whatnot. I was having money wired out, then going off for 2 weeks to see as much as I could before returning to Phoenix to find...still no credit card. I'd call them again (long distance from a payphone), find out what the excuse was this time and repeat the cycle. As a result, my dwindling funds were being used just going back and forth to Phoenix and I wasn't seeing the country the way I'd hoped. After a while, I took a job at the Backpacker's Hostel, working for free in exchange for my lodgings. One afternoon, a bunch of us went to a coffee shop and got talking to two cuties who were intrigued by the range of accents. One of them started coming over to the hostel to visit and then, showing me around Phoenix on my days off. Finally my credit card came through but I got a bit of a shock when the woman who ran the hostel immediately said. "That's great but now it's time for you to leave." Oh. This was late November and the places I still really wanted to see, New York, Boston and Chicago aren't easy to visit on a budget in winter. I was more than a bit bummed because it essentially meant my trip was over and had I known that, I could've gone home a couple of months earlier and saved some money. However, my new friend said "Well, I'm going on holiday next week and had planned to hire a dog-sitter. Why don't you stay at my place and look after my dogs for me. By the time I get back, you might have a better idea what you'd like to do." On new year's eve, after knowing each other for about 6 weeks, we got engaged. If I can manage another fortnight, we'll have been married 25 years next month.
  49. 20 points
  50. 19 points
    The worst thing is that large parts of the country will hold these charlatans up as some sort of principled martyrs. Let's be clear: from the very start, the government had absolutely no idea how to go about any of this. If the Brexiteers had manage to come up with even the semblance of a plan that was practical, acceptable to the EU and not complete economic suicide, May would have bitten their hands off. The fact is that, after TWO WHOLE YEARS of running the departments responsible for Brexit, they have achieved the square root of f*ck all. Instead, we get the same incompetent arseholes wittering on with the same vapid slogans on an endless loop, like f*cking dementia patients. That they've now slithered away from taking any responsibility for the massive shitshow that they've created is an outrage. They should be run out of the country.
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