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  1. 74 points
    AGEING, UNEMPLOYED IMMIGRANT CAUSES HIGHWAY CARNAGE. Emergency services were scrambled to a road traffic accident near Sandringham today when a 97 year old Greek immigrant pulled out into oncoming traffic. The Greek father of four who has been living on state benefits since his arrival in the UK in 1947 and is housed in a Grade2 Jacobean style mansion in the area worth millions of pounds was unavailable for comment. Neighbours said "You often see the family in the area, none of them seem to work but they always have money". Another local resident reported often hearing firearms being discharged in the garden of 97 year olds home.
  2. 63 points
  3. 57 points
    Nobody goes for the quality. You go week in week out because once every wee while you'll get games which are beyond belief. See example A: Pretty much every club in the league has a day in the sun moment. One you'll talk about to people time and time again. Fans of English clubs and the Old Firm don't really get it. Within the past 11 years I've seen Rovers win the league at Hampden, seen them in a Scottish Cup Semi Final after knocking out Aberdeen and Dundee, beat Hibs in the Scottish Cup and Rangers in the diddy cup final at Easter Road too. I've also seen us relegated by Brechin and hit the post in the 90th minute to not win a league. I wouldn't trade a single moment of those highs for any double treble. I fucking love it.
  4. 54 points
    1. You 2. Can’t 3. Predict 4. The 5. Championship 6. Table 7. Don’t 8. Be 9. Stupid 10. Partick Thistle
  5. 48 points
    Funny that, I had the exact same reaction when your shitehole of a club went down the pan
  6. 47 points
    Sorry for my fat fingers
  7. 45 points
    I’ve heard Clyde have offered him a two year deal.
  8. 44 points
    If Rangers want to stop 10 in a row that's probably the best result for them.
  9. 37 points
    Sorry Edi. I promised myself that I'd try not to respond to your posts but when I read that I nearly spat out my coffee laughing. It's been reported elsewhere that we're bringing in a striker from Everton, so I suppose it stands to reason that you'ld guess at the guy we were linked with in the summer. Fraser Hornby never got a contract offer from Falkirk incidentally. That whole story was an internet rumour. You're as wrong with this guess as you were with the name of a centre half. The ironic thing is that there are now a number of people who DO know names, as they've been sent to me privately. There's a good reason for that which I'm not going into. If you were even remotely ITK you'ld have that info; everyone else seems to have it bar you. And I'm not winding you up by saying that.
  10. 36 points
  11. 33 points
    I throw all my spare change at linesmen.
  12. 32 points
    Boyd rushing round to Jones' place to congratulate him
  13. 32 points
    Hi, Bob. First of all, none of us have any issues with the examples you give. Secondly, you're wrong to say that 'Rangers have suffered more than most clubs due to honest mistakes' - the reason why rangers have suffered more than most clubs is that you let your club die.
  14. 32 points
    You're the c**t in this situation mate. Either do their wee self service thing or walk away with yer dignity. Naw you double back like a fucking c**t.
  15. 31 points
    Big overshare here and I hope it's not a vibe killer. My story's not unique, but I've enjoyed the thread. Tried to do a short version but couldn't! Born in Kirkcaldy, grew up in Glenrothes: old man took me to various grounds from 1990 onwards. Rovers first because he did support them himself, even before it became something we did together. Thinking about it though, I don't think he ever went in my lifetime before he took me, aged 6. First couple were friendlies v old Rangers and Hearts. I think I nominally supported Rangers then but didn't have a clue; just parroting something from the playground. Also went to some Pars games since they were in the Premier and it was something different - the Norrie cup semi at Tynecastle was one. Anyway he never forced the Rovers on me, I think he just had faith that I'd come around to it - but then I also think he'd have gone along with it if I insisted I was a Pars or East Fife fan. It was an easy time to start being a Rovers fan, 1992, and maybe everyone has a first season that they just 100% live it - you mind all the games, all the players, all the scorers and red cards. Because it was new my memory was a blank page for it and I remember it vividly. I had lucky trainers I had to wear, but being a bairn my feet were growing. It turned out we had a lucky manager. We weren't a family where football necessarily mattered hugely, but after it became the thing me and my dad did together I think they made space for it, and a few years in my maw would come as well, and the wee bro - but it wasn't really for him and he'd bring a book or fall asleep. I was at every game in the league cup run and had the whole family up to Dingwall midweek, stayed at a B&B and kidded on it was a holiday. I won a prize to do with the final and we were all there (though we already had tickets, obv), stayed in a hotel the night before, and it was a major event in the family history - though probably the same for every Rovers-supporting family. Into the teens and being seen with your parents was embarrassing. You had to show you were hard and grown-up by going to things with your pals instead. Spitting, swearing, smoking, taking a drink. So away days on the supporters bus and maybe someone bringing a fake ID became ideal. Home games, especially with the team on a downward trajectory, became more awkward. I'm ashamed of this now but have heard others say the same: stories of abandoned grandads etc. But despite that teenage awkwardness, fleeting moments of glory on the pitch could break through and back would come that old, earnest euphoria between me and the old guy. Some hardworking, limited underdog-type like Andy Smith would be pounding the ground with his fist in frustration at another missed chance, but later get his reward with a close range sclaff - scraping a win against some other bunch of diddies. Turning to celebrate with my dad I might see a wee shine in the eyes. What does it all really mean eh? During the Calderon promotion season I was a first year student with borrowed money in my pocket, and I was hooked on a rare mix of classy continental football and lower league away days. We were ridiculous in a way, but the likes of the demolition of Hamilton (away) were as memorable as they were exhilarating. 4-0 with 2 missed pens and a few off the woodwork. That was the season of My Garden Shed - our wee group started that when one of the boys nicked it from Sunderland fans at work. It obviously caught on and the BBC were out to film at some point. We limped over the line in the end but there aren't many seasons like that one. The following year was less of a stroll but had its moments. A big one being a teenage striker scoring a late goal to secure 1st division safety. In the video you can see the proud parents on their feet in the main stand (am I imagining this?) and I know I was hugging my old da at that moment. Anyway. Something about living away from Fife made me prouder of who I supported. Journeys home and away started at Waverley where you'd see all manner of scarves, big teams obviously but many diddies as well, and to be honest I felt like every Brechin, Berwick or Partick fan I saw was an ally of sorts, going to their own piddly fixtures that meant the world to the wee boys some of them had brought along. I didn't go at all when Claude Anelka bought the manager's job - let's call it a boycott... I had loved backing the Calderon/Paquito team and couldn't accept selling it out. As soon as Anelka was gone of course I came back. Hot take though: Dalziel was worse than Locke. Later in life I worked away from home for spells, and we got out of the habit of going, sometimes. Never stopped being into it though and in that period, although modest by 90s standards, we were on the up. Some big wins and good eggs on the park and in the dugout. One of the best ever was the Scottish QF at Dens Park, the singing from 2pm, a good crew of pals and dads out and a few drinks for the hype. The blistering start to go 2 up (3 if the linesman had been awake), and the highlight one of the best goals by one of the best boys (Laurie). Can scarcely beat a QF as a wee team: big day out on the verge of glory, but not quite the nans and grans and hangers-on you get diluting things at a semi final. I missed the semi final working abroad, and so my girlfriend wore an old-school home top to chum my dad to Hampden in my place. Needless to say she's my wife now. Anyway, trying to follow that game on BBC text updates was purest crap. My dad's health and mobility eventually presented more challenges and we couldn't go often. Eventually I was the one taking him to games if we could manage. Just getting to a seat was more difficult. When the chance arose to have your name on a step in the stand I got him one for christmas: fortunately he got back to see it a few times, and I have a precious photo of him smiling above it with the north stand floodlights behind him. His last game at Stark's was Ayr at home on the last day of the Locke/Hughes season. I think we knew it was likely to be the last one, and I can tell you it is very weird for something to mean absolutely everything and be left in the hands of Yogi Hughes, Johnny Court up front and that mad goalie from the Slovakian 4th division. It was glorious sunshine and all we needed to do, to not finish bottom of the league and go down, was avoid a five goal defeat. Said goalie is sent off in the first minute, and it's not looking good. --Interrupting myself, but: for a small club from a medium-sized town, are we not kind of eccentric? Shipwrecks, thrown out of the league for 48 hours (93), the scoreboard in Munich, Claude Anelka, outfield player in goals, wacky goalie driving from Slovakia to play for us (obviously in a trabant and wearing goalie gloves the whole 2000 miles) and whatever else I forgot. Are we weird or is this just “wha's like us?!” the same as all diddies feel?-- Johnny Court scores, Conor Brennan saves a pen, McManus scores a winner. We let everyone file out in front of us because we need a bit of space to make our way out. It was important to feel a win, even though it was futile against relegation in the end. A wee look around the emptying stadium in the sunshine, a glance at the step, and away we slowly go - my dad will never be back here. I was at the playoff games, but after that I stayed away in solidarity with my ill old man, and would spend Saturday afternoons wherever he was instead. Final score on the telly would have to do us. The last game he watched was Airdrie away on BBC Alba, which at least we didn't lose. I've been back this season and always have that impulse to tell my Dad about the game. Alas, now I can't. I had some trepidation about going back, walking up the stand and seeing my old man's step. The bold Hank Scorpio knew the craic and said “Touch it!” and did so on his way past. Don't laugh if you see me doing what is now a bit of a micro ritual. Still sit in the same group when I'm there, and they all get it. I mean, they really ken, for their own reasons. I've got a daughter now and the news that the Ladies would now play at Stark's too (since the artificial pitch is in) was exciting to me. Seriously cannot wait to take her to see a game, be it men women or girls. She kicks a ball in the house, and if she ever does so on that fake grass: ooya. Our modest, local club is the absolute best. But I know, I know - so's yours.
  16. 30 points
  17. 30 points
  18. 30 points
  19. 29 points
    I would have hoped that the players stay and play for the club and I feel that the squad that won the league would have played for the club with no wages but that is what happens when you fill the team with big players, they play for themeselves and there is no problem with that they don’t owe us anything. It’s been a pleasure to watch some of the boys over the years so I thank them for their efforts ! However it has been disgusting to watch others and am actually happy that they have chosen to leave. Morton has one of the worst attitudes to committee, supporters and teammates I’ve ever seen. Also couldn’t believe that Galt got a standing ovation on Saturday for QP as he clearly could not be bothered to be at cambuslang. So it’s a shame that we didn’t see the best of boys like this who are that talented. It will be a rebuild for cambuslang and difficult times ahead as the whole infrastructure will be re addressed and I can see us being the whipping boys for maybe the next two seasons but we will steady the ship again and hopefully get back to the football in the correct manner on and off the pitch. I will continue to go and pay my way into somervell however whether we are winning 10-0 or losing 10-0. Take the good with the bad.
  20. 29 points
    The company I work for is 10 years old this week. And to celebrate the directors are taking everyone to Las Vegas for the weekend. It was arranged in October and I, along with 4 or 5 others, started working here in November so we aren't going. The company isn't closing, were having to work as normal and just do the job of about 4 people each today and Monday, dealing with clients and customers. They're flying Aberdeen > Heathrow this morning then Heathrow > Vegas tonight so they've had to get into the office for 5 am today to be driven to Aberdeen to catch the flight at 9. One of the lads lives in the Black Isle but luckily his dad lives about a 5 minute drive from the office, so naturally he stayed there last night so he can walk the 15 minutes from there to the office this morning. Just found out from a colleague that he and his dad were up until 2 this morning boozing, he didn't turn up at 5 at the office, one of the cars went into the general area of where they think his dad lives, they rang him several times, Facebook messaged, the lot. No answer. He phoned them at 7 this morning in a blind, drunken panic, only to be told they're just past Inverurie and he has to get his pished arse into work for half 8. As I type this at half 8, there's no sign of him. But when he does show up, my reaction will of course be 'haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaa'.
  21. 29 points
    Dunno who the hibs player is. But the young guy in the grey hoodie gripping the fence is me. The auld man was a hibs fan and took me to Easter road when I couldn't go to well games
  22. 29 points
    Not sure how many CHs we are after but we signed Ciaran McKenna anyway so maybe Benedictus was a non starter The person who named Benedictus was probably all the confirmation needed that it was a non-starter.
  23. 29 points
    When I was young I wanted to go to football games and my Dad is a Cowdenbeath fan so he took me along to a midweek match against Ross County in winter. To this day I can still remember how cold I was on the terraces and I loved how engrossed my Dad was in the match. We lost 2-1 scoring a late consolation and then missing a tap-in with the last kick of the game. I wasn't quite hooked then as I can remember the joy of getting back into the car to heat up! However I did enjoy the game and wanted to go back. Then my Dad offered to up my pocket money if I came along with him to more matches and I gleefully accepted the extra £10 a month to go and watch Cowden play. Soon we were going to every home game and gradually due to my moaning we went on the supporters club bus to away games as well. Since then I've done tons for the club that most fans of big clubs could never imagine doing. I've traveled all over Scotland to towns I'd never heard of while my mates went to a few games a season at their respective clubs. I was on the supporters club committee as a teenager, I helped paint the changing rooms and the tunnel at the ground. I created the clubs official Facebook page and launched the Twitter page too. I write for the programme currently and have even been selling it at the ground. Heck a few months back I was Bluebell the club mascot for a game My wife regularly asks why I do all this and the simple answer is that you do everything you can to support what you love. My Dad is a director, my Mum counts the cash at the games and my brother used to work in the club office. It provided some of the greatest moments in my life - winning the league against Elgin in 2006, pipping Brechin to promotion in 2001, avoiding the play-offs on the last day by beating Hamilton while Dunfermline lost at home to already relegated Airdrie. Winning League 1 and avoiding relegation to the Lowland Leagues twice. The last one obviously not worthy of a huge celebration but I don't think I'll ever feel the way I felt when we beat East Kilbride on penalties. Relief, exhaustion and genuine delirium that we live to fight another day. The best moment for me though is a totally personal one and was Greg Stewart scoring for us after 10 seconds against Ayr in the play offs. It put us 3-1 up on aggregate and was a big goal but that's not what I was really celebrating. Just over a week before my Dad had a heart attack and was in an induced coma for a few days. The family were inundated with messages of support from Cowden fans and it was a huge comfort. However there was a real fear that he may pass away or have some form of brain damage and it was certainly the worst days of my life. He went into hospital on the Friday and was in the coma until the Monday. That moment when Stewart scored I looked over to see my Dad with his arms in the air,running along the front of the stand at Central Park - that's when I realised that he was going to be ok and it's a moment that I will never forget. A week ago he was in a coma and now he's celebrating a goal at our home away from home. Aside from that I absolutely love meeting random people and discussing the club. I was in Geneva visiting a uni friend and he introduced me to his Albanian friend. He loves football and loved hearing about my love for the club. If you're an Old Firm fan do you get that feeling? Does anybody ever ask you anything about the team you support? Every job I've ever had I've had colleagues wanting to come down to a match and it's amazing how people remember the team you support after years apart. Also Central Park is just beautiful.
  24. 29 points
    My Dad first started taking me to the Rovers when I was 4 and I've been going to games ever since. Growing up my Dad, his brother and their father were Rovers fans but only my Dad still attends games. My Grandad on my Dad's side passed away many years ago and my Uncle lost interest as the years went on. On my Mum's side they weren't really big football fans but my Grandad would proclaim to being an Aberdeen fan as he was brought up nearby. I caught the football bug quickly. I can still remember my first game at home to Airdrie at the old Stark's Park during an era where kids were lifted over the turnstiles. We lost the game and I spent the majority of the game running about the terrace with other kids my age kicking an old coke can about as the older heads stood up near the back of the terrace. Not long after that I got a season ticket for the Railway Stand and once Stark's Park was done up we moved back behind the goals. We're both still season ticket holders and unless we've been away on holiday we've rarely missed a game at home for a number of years now. At school I was well known within my group of friends, and the teachers, as a big Rovers fan. In all honesty I never received a lot of bother from people when they knew I was a Rovers fan. At primary school Rovers were going through their glory years of the mid 90's and believe it or not there were more Rovers tops on show at my school than there were Rangers or Celtic tops. This was during a period before school uniforms were mandatory and wearing football tops to school wasn't frowned upon. Moving to high school was much the same, there was certainly a more varied mix of teams people 'supported' but there were still a healthy number of Rovers fans that I latched on to and would go to games with. Wee random story probably not relevant but hey ho: When I hit my teens I wanted to sample going to away games myself. We drew ICT in the cup and my auld man was fine with me and my friends going up in the supporters bus. He was quite happy giving away games a miss by this point but for me I always got a right good buzz heading to an away match. His words to me for any game I was going to without him was "behave yourself and watch what you're doing...there are some bad b*****ds from (insert teams town name)". Without fail these were his words of wisdom. So the bus was booked to head up to Inverness. We must have been about 15 years old and yes the plan was to chance our luck at getting a pint in a pub. We found a pub rammed with Rovers fans and my mate, who was not far of 16, went and asked for pints for all of us (there were 5 of us). Frighteningly he came to the table with all 5 and that was that. All the years of being bored at pubs pre match and the torch had now been passed. I was surrounded by like minded people following my local team singing without a care in the world having a pint with my mates. Just as my mate was about to get another round in I clocked a guy walking into the pub..."nah it can't be...is it...f**k it is, it's my auld man". Turns out he couldn't resist a Scottish Cup tie in Inverness or more than likely he was checking up on me. Anyhoo he saw us, seen the empty pint tumblers, gave us a wry smile and left us to it. Bumped into him at the game and he was giving it "so....having fun then?". I also remember the first time I swore in front of him at a game. Whilst swearing at games was something I was used to hearing I couldn't imagine coming out with some of this stuff in front of my auld man. We drew 1-1 at home to Celtic. Di Canio put Celtic 1-0 after 89 minutes and we equalised in injury time. I blurted out "get that fucking up you!!!" and quickly realised what I'd said fully expecting a bollocking. I turned to my auld man who was pissing himself laughing. I suppose I've been quite lucky with what I've seen growing up supporting a predominately lower league diddy team. I've seen us beat Celtic in the League Cup final, seen us play in Europe and play in the Premier League, seen us go on decent cup runs notably getting to the Scottish Cup semi final, seen us win leagues, win derby games and had some tremendous times following the club. I've also seen the bad times (Anelka debacle, relegations, financial issues putting the club at risk) but, as is the case with most fans of clubs of our size, you stick by them and hope for the good times to return. Now and again something magical happens that makes following a smaller club totally worth it.
  25. 28 points
    Good luck Kilmarnock yours, Scottish Football.
  26. 28 points
    Actually, I think he's a Hibs fan, but he's been with the club since he was 16.
  27. 28 points
    The whole house of cards Gretna 'living the dream' pish, swallowed and promoted by the gullible fucking idiots in the Scottish media was genuinely the most toe curling, cringeworthy, embarrassing crock of shite in recent memory of Scottish football.
  28. 28 points
    At some point, Hibs trolling Rangers will stop being funny. I hope I don’t live to see it.
  29. 27 points
  30. 27 points
    A ‘pick up artist’ failing to pull on NYE, pretty poor show from him tbh. jamamafegan used to have the best ‘pick up’ technique: 1. Approach female 2. Find out which town in Scotland they are from 3. Ask them if the support that town’s football club e.g. ‘You’re from Kirkcaldy? Are you a regular at Starks Park then?’ Works on approximately 0/1000 birds.
  31. 27 points
    Some of our fans on Twitter are an absolute embarrassment. There is no fucking need for it. These are young guys who were here to make it as professional footballers, who were told this was the club for them, and are now facing massive uncertainty over whether they even have a career going forward, and on top of that have to deal with a bunch of fucking middle aged wankers and spotty VLs telling them how shite they are and celebrating them losing their job? It's fucking pathetic.
  32. 27 points
  33. 26 points
    I think they saw him as a wishy-washy liberal and probably a borderline papist.
  34. 26 points
    I think we can abandon all hopes of Rory Loy doing anything in a Sons jersey. I also think we can abandon all hopes of Duffy converting any of the current bunch into a "season saver", it's now down to who he can add this month and we have to hope they hit the ground running. In hospitality on Saturday John Steele touched on strengthening the squad this month and said that the board have been working hard to try and give him the support he needs, so hopefully we'll see some movement soon, preferably before Brechin because if Thomas goes back to Killie we'll have 11 fit players (not including Chris Smith), we really can't go into a relegation 6 pointer with that as a squad. John Steele also touched on some of the flak certain board members have been taking in recent weeks and I kind of wish the support as a whole had heard his words. It was quite a passionate defence of his fellow board members. He made it very clear that we would be far worse off if it wasn't for the hard work of our board members who are still trying to work around legacy issues from previous boards, he also touched on the different skill sets each board member brings to the table and honestly, this is the best board we've had at DFC in my lifetime. They are Dumbarton fans, they have the knowledge and passion to run the club and anything they implement is in the clubs interests, not in theirs. Add to that the fact that transparency with fans has improved 10 fold then I struggle to see why we have so many complaints about board members. There is still a bit of an "us and them" mentality from the fans in my opinion. We need to remember that this board don't have huge personal wealth to call upon, they are looking to make DFC completely self sustaining which is the only way to safe guard our future, aforementioned legacy issues are pretty much a direct result of not being self sustaining and it can really strangle the club. Our board are volunteers doing all of this work for the good of the club and working under owners who would more than likely rather see us die than succeed, I'm not saying that exempts them from criticism, but I think some fans could do well to take a deep breath and consider the bigger picture before lunging in with some two footed criticism in future.
  35. 26 points
  36. 25 points
    UK vote 52-48. Bit late responding to this but ... On umpteen occasions I've heard ruddy complexioned arseholes and Daily Mail types imploring that MPs acknowledge and respect the way their constituents voted. But not in Scotland - oh no. f**k you Scotland - it was a UK vote. Don't you dare vote along the lines of your constituents. Stick your 52 48 up your arse.
  37. 25 points
    I am from Ayr and I support Ayr United. I support the team that represents my hometown because I am proud of where I come from. I don't care how "shite" people tell me that they are, and believe me I have seen some awful Ayr United teams. However, I still supported them and went to watch them every week because they were still my team. I don't understand why anyone would choose to support a team from a place that they have no connection to. I also don't understand how anyone can claim to support a team that they never go and watch. If you don't go to games then you cannot call yourself a supporter.
  38. 25 points
    Ladies & Gentlemen , I can confirm the signing of....... RYAN FLYNN ! #neverbeenwrong #ITK #massivesurprises
  39. 25 points
  40. 25 points
  41. 24 points
    Now the dust has settled....what a laugh this whole escapade has been. Celtic fans are fucking hilarious. There's footage all over the internet showing them launching bricks and bottles at the Airdrie supporters, yet they try and tell us we're scum. They had about 50-60 masked spice boys, all about 7 stone soaking wet, who managed to keep the police honest as Airdrie fans tried to get into the ground. All the time firing stones, cans and bottles indiscriminately into the sky. There's plenty denials that this happened, but it did - it's filmed and documented. But we're scum. At the game, one specky weirdo mouthed the letters of a well known terrorist organisation, while pretending he'd a rifle taking pot shots into our crowd. But we're scum. Celtic fan runs on at the end attempting to attack one of our players, before being absolutely body slammed by a steward. But we're scum. The reason we were held at the end was nothing to do with us not being trusted, it was the fact that our supporters were attacked on London Road and we were kept in to prevent that happening again, as the police clearly had a howler. These things happen at football games. Part and parcel of going to places like this, but the denial and sweeping from Celtic is fantasy stuff. They managed to start a rumour that Tommy Robinson would be at the game. They got pretty much every decision going yesterday but the world is still against them and the place run by "h*ns". Ive been offered to meet two of the faceless weirdos on twitter. They really are the gift that keeps giving.
  42. 24 points
  43. 24 points
    Kilmarnock fans making more of an effort to sign Greg Stewart than Rangers fans did to save their entire club. Minter.
  44. 23 points
  45. 23 points
    Higginbotham offering his own fans outside at the end of the game. I’m really looking for that to be liquidised and injected directly into my fucking veins. That was a fucking riding. A pummelling. A true shagging. That’s what it’s all about. RRFC [emoji173]️[emoji173]️[emoji173]️
  46. 23 points
    Is that like when Rangers fans didnt bother with saving their club?
  47. 23 points
    Btw how fucking fantastic is Lewis Vaughan. What a man. Quite frankly he should be in the championship, his quality is there and most people know it. He has been screwed with a few injuries and I’d imagine the Raith medical bill for him is quite high over the years. Loyalty is something you don’t see much of these days in modern football but that is exactly what Lewis is doing, being loyal to the club he signed with as a youth! What a man you are Lewis Vaughan
  48. 23 points
    Not someone I work with but my mate was telling me about a king bullshitter at his work. His stories include seeing a cow commit suicide by jumping off the edge of a cliff because midges were annoying it. Accidently hacking into the Pentagon when he was trying to put his overtime into the works computer. Being outside the work, whistling and having an 8ft Buzzard land on his arm. Nearly being carried off by an Eagle when he was up the hills because he was wearing a lambswool jumper and the Eagle mistook him for a lamb. Going to a top end hooker who told him not pay because it was the best ride of her life.
  49. 22 points
    Bit harsh from the Dutch but I get where they're coming from.
  50. 22 points