Hedgecutter Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 I can't even remember getting onto the subject, but last night I managed to convince my other half and her friends that mobile phones are bad for fish. This is because the mobile wave signal gets changed as it passes through the glass or plastic of the fish tank and then the water, making it a dangerous frequency which can slowly give the poor fish a brain tumour or whatever. All it required was a straight faced "no, seriously, I never believed it either until I looked it up. Honest!" This now has me thinking, what's the most ridiculous fact or lie you've been able to pass off as 'fact'? P.S. I also had my mum thinking that Chelsea were playing Brechin in a friendly earlier in the season. The letters in the top left of the screen on Sky Sports said CHE 0-0 BRE and the opposition were playing in red (can't even mind who it was now). I'd have got away with it had my mum not said to my brother "did you know Brechin were playing Chelsea today?!" at dinner time, at which point he just burst out laughing. D***. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wee_bairn Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 I once told an ex-girlfriend that the journey home from Newcastle to Edinburgh was longer as we were travelling 'uphill'. (I showed her the map of the UK with the train route heading north). Another fun fact that trip was when passing through Berwick-upon-tweed there seemed to be a lot of geese populated in the area. I made this into the fact that there is infact a higher Goose population in Berwick than people. I wouldn't be suprised if she still believes these facts. And yes, I talk a lot of sh!te when bored on a train. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEETHING Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Genuinely convinced my (English, sports-ignorant) mate that the Edinburgh Derby was a horse race down the Mound and along Princes St. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 There is no funny bit. The fish has suffered the same fate as the parrot in Monty Python. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Once told a work mate of mine that the other partner was away to the Ryder Cup as a caddy whenever the Ryder Cup was held in Ireland. He immediately informed the senior partner of this. I'm not sure if anybody put him wise or not. This same workmate, when asked to "get the minutes of the last site meeting" asked "How long did the last site meeting last?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 22, 2013 Author Share Posted April 22, 2013 Actually, I think my best so far was defacing Banchory's wiki page. I was walking along the main road there about 7 years ago and noticed that the pavement was incredibly wide due to an old bus stop which had been tarmacked over. This inspired me to tell the world that Banchory had the widest pavement in the UK, a fact that stayed up until a couple of years ago. However, you can imagine my sheer delight when I overheard this fact being brought up in a pub conversation just a few years ago. Seeing as it was removed, there's now another false fact on the Banchory page in it's place. Feel free to try and find it on the condition you don't change it as it's been up there for a couple of years now and I'm strangely proud of getting away with it for so long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 In the space of 30 seconds, I managed to persuade my otherwise intelligent colleague that the small room between the two doors leading into a toilet is called the "Air Lock" and that the birds' toilet had lots of light-bulbs round the mirror - like you get in actors' dressing rooms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madwullie Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 We had my mate believing for years that Billy Connolly used to play in goals for Dundee United. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Oh, and Hedgecutter's Wiki-edit reminds me of one I did about 6 years ago, where we edited the "Texas Hold 'Em" card nicknames... 10-2 off suit didn't have any satisfactory nicknames so we came up with "The Whirlygig". It's still there http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_playing-card_nicknames Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Actually, I think my best so far was defacing Banchory's wiki page. I was walking along the main road there about 7 years ago and noticed that the pavement was incredibly wide due to an old bus stop which had been tarmacked over. This inspired me to tell the world that Banchory had the widest pavement in the UK, a fact that stayed up until a couple of years ago. However, you can imagine my sheer delight when I overheard this fact being brought up in a pub conversation just a few years ago. Seeing as it was removed, there's now another false fact on the Banchory page in it's place. Feel free to try and find it on the condition you don't change it as it's been up there for a couple of years now and I'm strangely proud of getting away with it for so long. Was it the bit about bottle openers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madwullie Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Oh, and Hedgecutter's Wiki-edit reminds me of one I did about 6 years ago, where we edited the "Texas Hold 'Em" card nicknames... 10-2 off suit didn't have any satisfactory nicknames so we came up with "The Whirlygig". It's still there http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_playing-card_nicknames Similar to this, had my mate listed as a coach for Raith Rovers (I think it was) for a good few years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanetti Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Managed to convince a female friend at some point last year that dolphins were fictional. She bought it for a good half an hour, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Wow, I've told my missus so many things just to see if she will accept them as fact. She generally does and I don't ever bother to correct her. When she first passed her driving test I told her that if is coming off a motorway up a slip road at nighttime she MUST flash her full beam 3 times on the way up the slip road to alert any foxes/deer that she was coming so that they didn't run out. I advised her she could get 3 points for not doing this. About 3 months later I was out in the car with her and forgot all about the above. When she came up a slip road and started flashing I looked at her like she was mental-she then reminded me about my rules. She wasn't happy when I couldn't contain my laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 I wish that I could take the credit for this, but anyway - A mate of mine convinced a very naive young lad at his work that your cuticles were actually called your clitoris.... It caused much amusement when the young lad asked the company secretary if she had bother pushing back her clitoris........... . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 22, 2013 Author Share Posted April 22, 2013 Was it the bit about bottle openers? The fact you need to ask is probably why it's still up. It was indeed the Pictish bottle openers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 The fact you need to ask is probably why it's still up. It was indeed the Pictish bottle openers. I'll be honest, I'm really very angry with you for encouraging me to read about Banchory. How dare you educate me on the pretense of fun?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamboMikey Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 When I was about 11 I read in a football magazine that Kanu had a disease which caused sudden attacks of laziness and I thought it was true until I was 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edinpar Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 In sixth year a few of us were sat around chatting about our plans for uni etc. My mate that was going to do electronics at Strathy mentioned something about working with microchips. We managed to convince one of the slower members of the group that our friend had a job lined up working for McCain's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 The day Templeton signed for Sevco, I claimed on here that the deal had fallen through because he'd had a change of heart. I didn't expect anyone to believe it, so I felt bad when people were offering me pints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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