As the thread states. Call it an amnesty, if you will - get your football related sins of your chest. I'll go first:

I'm really not proud of this, but I remember joining in with a verse of 'dodgy heater' at East End Park after Norrie McCathie's death. In my defence, I was 13 at the time.

Am I going to Hell?

"Hazel, Hazel - Show's yer tits" - to Hazel Irvine at the Soccer Sixes circa 1990 as she did an interview in front of the 'Well fans. I joined in, but not a day goes by where I don't regret it.

Back in the day when Falkirk fans actually sang, I joined in with some supremely offensive songs.

Each one has a special place in my heart and makes me proud to be an (offensive) bairn.

It wasn't particularly offensive but my most enjoyed moment was being part of those who abused Gerry McNee in the old commetary box at Brockville, which led to him frequently mentioning that Brockville was his least favourite venue to visit and that he hated Falkirk fans.

erm allegedly, I've been told of rather than heard of ...................

'relegation and amputation' 'away away away' , sang by Saints fans at Cappielow in the era of Allan McGraw , who had dodgy legs , and yes Morton were looking doomed

Dunno if true , but leaving offence aside , the creativity of fans to offend in chant or song never ceases to humour me , intrigue me , shock me , yes that's it

brilliant

When St Mirren fans started a song about Craig Dargo's tattoo, involving king billy and blood.

Did she?

At a Boro v Sunderland game early 90s,at the time of the big Cleveland child abuse scandal,a famous song"who shagged all the kids" and "beasts beasts beasts."

You know, that is probably the best reason to support Falkirk I've ever heard. Top marks Bairns.

Oh Jimmy Jimmy
Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy
Calderwood

I regret the day i ever sang this as it is offensive to football to chant this mans name at football game.

Also as were held in for 15 minutes at ibrox after the game only gers fan left was a man in crutches leaving the ground and the chant was
"theres only two david murrays"

I remember two regarding that one. Saints had Norrie McWhirter as captain at the time and we chanted "We've got a Norrie, we've got a Norrie, you've no, you've no!" and the other was simply "tssssssssssssss". Sick and disgusting and I'd have been very offended had it been the other way around.


Examples, please.


In all honesty I felt very uncomfortable about some of the Allan McGraw stuff, i.e. "You'll never walk again". I have to say, though, that I laughed at the songs "We've got Yardley and we've got Ludo, Allan McGraw is shíte at judo" then "We've got Hinchy and we've got Mixu, Allan McGraw is shíte at kung-fu". I say I laughed but in the same way you laugh at Jerry Sadowitz; you know you shouldn't and you're shocked when you do, but you still find it bloody funny.

Two for the Old Firm were "Michael Fagan caught VD" to the tune of Cwm Rhonda.

And to the tune of Tom Hark, "Tommy Burns, so does Doyle". Probably my all-time favourite incredibly tasteless and offensive tune.

Did I sing any of these? The fúcking lot!

Something about Lou Macari's son & a tree

I take it she duly obliged?

sexually, physically or verbally?

the mcgraw judo one is probably the worst i have sang although last time i heard it was quite a few years ago

norrie mccarthie one is probably on par too

i have sang both

I've never sang an offensive song, and to be honest I've never heard an offensive song.

I don't listen to what the opposition fans sing, ever.

I've sang a few, but can't post many on here as I'm posting from work. Pretty similar themes to a couple that have already been mentioned.

Maybe I'll make a proper post on this topic when I get home.

I see what you did there.

Aha, you went and done a pun!

didnt mean that

its actually quite a good un if i say so myself

Shouting obscenities at Jim White and Gerry McNee at Brockville was always funny. To be fair to Jim, he was great with the banter.

Once he was walking behind the goals at Hope Street and we shouted to him, "hey Whitem its a wonder you've took time to come here the day and take Laudrup's cock out yer mouth", as well as "Ibrox is 30 odd miles in the opposite direction". He made a blowjob action to the crowd as well as pretending to play the flute.

Remember the NON Falkirk supporting (supposed fans, that were there for the fight afterwards) at East End Park singing "Where's you're Norrie gone, he's left his heater on". Made me cringe tbh!

The most offensive was probably Rangers fans singing

"Fitzy, Fitzy where's your son" - just after Tony Fitzpatrick's son had died of a rare blood disorder.

Others....

St Mirren fans with their McGraw, McGraw, got no legs...blah... or the "hissssssssss" that they did through at East End Park shortly after Norrie McCathy's death.

And no I would never join in with anything so distasteful - not even as a youngster.

In these more enlightened days I don't think that would be cricket, old bean.

I just think it's funny how revisionist people are. I don't know how many times I've read on here that certain chants were made 'by a few idiots' when it was clearly hundreds of people. I'm not just talking about Falkirk here.

Know what you mean. I think it's even happening on this thread.

As a youngster the more offensive a chant was, the more it wound up the opposition support, the more it made you feel like a true supporter of your own club.

If you so desire, though, you can send PM and let me know. Honest, guv, ah'll no' put them in the public domain.

Couldn't agree more, whenever the OF use that time honoured phrase, "It's a minority" they're talking shite.
I heard all the songs about Johnny Doyle and Quinton Young, "Michael Fagan shagged the Queen" and all that kind of crap.
Players on the pitch though, are fair game, as long as it doesn't go over the score, Kilmarnock singing "there's only two Andy Goram's" was a classic, but the treatment Rangers fans, in particular, dished out to Frank McGarvey's wife was absolutely appalling.
That remains the most offensive song i've heard at a football match.

anything directed 2 rangers
fat eddie murphy to darcheville
and king billy was a poof
lets be fair he was

Aberdeen fans singing the Davie Cooper song is the worst I've ever heard.

The worst chant I have heard by our own lot is probably 'Ross McCabe RIP' after McCabe almost died on the pitch against Hamilton. This chant was made during a return match a few weeks after. Not many singing it but it was audible enough.

Avril Downs was clearly upset at one Clyde-Hamilton game when everyone started singing 'Ian Harty shagged the physio directly at her. She pointed out me and 2 others as the perpatrators when there was easily 200 people doing it.

I dont take much notice what other teams sing but Celtic fans come away with some drivel. Nacho Novo,David Murray etc.

"Ole, ole, ole... Man United died on the runway"

The fact you're from Dundee is all the defence you need.

Their was a song about a local RSC president.His name will be substituted by xxxxxxx

(to the tune of whos that team they call the Rangers)

Whos that lying on the carpet ?
Whos that lying on the floor?
Oh its xxxxxx on his back and he's had a heart attack
and he'll not be going to Ibrox anymore


Then everyone jumps around mental and sings to the tune of" here we go, here we go"

xxxxxxxxdeid
xxxxxxxxdeid
xxxxxxxxdeid

Needless to say xxxxxx is alive and well.

watson watson die.

Kenny Gilbert's
Kenny Gilbert's
Kenny Gilbert's only got one eye

A bit embarrassing now. Having said that, Ross County had a testimonial because he was going to have to retire but he has since played for Deveronvale and Elgin City! I'd be asking for the money back.

To be fair there were not that many singing it at first, but after she got the stewards / police involved there were certainly plenty more.

I've heard a few songs ranging from a certain incident at Celtic to Edinburgh is Wonderful to Dean Shiels. Some more offensive than others.

Also songs from opposition from the drivel the old firm spout to Hibs fans singing about Wallace Mercer.

did he shag her, or was it just made up from nothing?

This is one of those threads where you really want to post but know you'll probably get banned. Gutted.

If its feck all to do with The **** youl be fine if you mention child abuse amongst Cathoilcs it will be pinned for want of a better word

Die Die Hibbes

Some of these are hilariously tame.

I once heard a Norrie McCathie song to the tune of Camptown Races, wasn't sung at a St. Mirren match though so I can't remember the source.

'Who's in the bed wi' the birds that dead? Norrie Norrie
Who's in the bed wi' the burd that's dead? Norrie McCathie'

Though I do remember the St. Mirren fans turning their back on the pitch on one Wedneday night league cup game and waving at the graveyard behind singing 'Norrie Norrie gies a wave'

I must have been about 9 at the time, didn't know what it was about and didn't join in.


Another one which stuck out in my mind was the twist on the Alan McGraw/Judo song when we played at Parkhead in the cup in 2002/03.

Standing outside in the queue to get in, someone started it and it had me in stiches I must admit.

'We've got Ludo....he's a darkie
Johnny Doyle's no a sparky'

Christ, that's the lowest of the low!

That's the one that sprang immediately to mind.

I remember it being sung only once, I think in a midweek game, and possibly the one where Danny McGrain broke Frank McDougal's leg.

I guess it's a sign of how much times have changed that people wouldn't even contemplate singing anything of that nature now, whereas at the time anything that wound up the opposition - the sicker the better - seemed fair game.

On a slightly lighter note, on another midweek game around that time, against the other half of the ugly sisters, I remember someone in the NB started singing:

"Dodds a sh1te, Dodds a sh1te, Dodds a sh1te"

The rest of the NB joined in, and you could hear a wave of laughing flow as people started getting the joke.

The most offensive song at an Agnus derby match I've heard was the astonishing "We have a new Range Rover, you've no, you've no". Too tame? How about "Ye only wash thrice a week, wash thrice a wee-eeek, you only wash thrice a week" at the Forfar fans.

My word, will I be warned for this, or just banned?




Probably the IRA songs that the Celtic fans sing. And despite being amongst them, no, I did not join in. Dafty chunts.

"Wheres your sister gone" to Billy Dodds not long after he signed for Rangers was pretty distasteful.

So the utterly unsubstantiated rumour goes and it caused a fair bit of upset behind the scenes, hence his acrimonious, yet deliciously hilarious pound coin laden departure.

There are several others about the Munich Air Crash, as well as "I wish it could be Hillsborough, everday"

What are the lyrics to the Davie Cooper song? Wasn't it published in an Aberdeen fanzine after he died?

Songs about a fat, dead tory spring to mind.....


Most notably...


"Wallace Mercer, he won't be home for tea"


I feel no shame....

who's that lying on the runway?
who's that lying in the snow?
Its Matt Busby and his boys
making all the fucking noise
cause they can't get the aeroplane
to go!

quite distasteful but i cant help but laugh (sorry )