Was having a bizarre random discussion about this earlier. I think I done a shit at Somerset Park when I was about 7, although not 100% sure. Of all the places to lay an egg, infact doing one at all at the fitba' I can't imagine.

I would never consider doing a shite in a football ground now, 9/10 times always a pish stained pan and quite often no toilet seat or toilet roll. The locks on the doors at certain grounds I'd imagine would be feeble or a place like Alloa there would be more piss in the cubicle than than in the pan.

I don't even go into the toilets at football grounds.

Once did it at Forthbank and the bugger left the bowl and played up front the rest of the game. Or am I getting mixed up between a shite and Derek Lilley..

I only go to the toilets in stadiums if I am 100% sure I have no chance of holding it in, but as far as sitting on any toilet seat is out of the question, the look of them alone is enough to make you sick

If you gotta go, you gotta go!

Only once, and I HAD to go.

I had to go many moons ago at Central Park. Ran past Brian Welsh on the way... that made me need to go even more!!!

yes, pittodrie in the middle of january, fucking horrible experience but i simply had no choice. I've never felt a shiver up my spine like it since.

Can't say I've ever done a shit at a football stadium although I am pretty sure I've farted in quite a few.

No, never really needed one while at the fitba

I took one at Parkhead about 3 years ago. T'was a beer shit.

My 8 year old son shit his pants at Hampden once we had to go to the toilets and stuff his shitety undercrackers down the toilet bowl. It was during a Berwick v Queens Park match so there weren't too many people around

Not intentionally.

Never.

Never took a shite at the fitbaw, not even at school either.

I assume you are u16? Once you have 10 pints before a match, Trust me, you will be going at several times during the match for a piss

Back on topic, yes I have had a dump at a football ground, Wrexham away (much to the annoyance of all the cokeheads waiting to use it )

I did a shit at Cappielow one time. He ran out of the toilet and got a game.

I think I called him Cormack.

I don't remember having a dump at any football grounds, but last season on the trip to Cove in the Scottish Cup I took a bit unwell on the bus on the way to the game and had to visit the toilet on the bus.... Lets just say everyone on the bus knew what had happened... Not the most pleasant smell ever..

Also last season and again not at the ground, but I needed a dump just before the game so visited a toilet in a bar near Cowdenbeath's Central Park. (Can't remember the name of the bar, on the corner just before you go under the Railway bridge) anyway went in to the toilet, and couldn't hold it anymore.. only to find there was no toilet roll - I had to sacrifice the hanky I had in my pocket !

Yes, many a time but I went to the toilets beside the lounges which are actually quite posh!

In my hand...Then chucked it at some inbreeds in Fife.

No i dont think so.

I'm 20 I just don't drink before games.

I had seven pints before a match and only went to the toilet once !

Never, sometimes just going for a slash is a white knuckle ride, never mind going for a Forrest

Were you pissing for the whole 2nd half?

Yeah. I had a nappy though, so it worked out good.

A couple of times. The cladge in the stand at Links Park is civilised enough.

i did a shit at crapalow, the Stewards scooped it up and Morton signed him..think they named him James im a wee dick Grady..

I believe that he's only going as James Grady these days.

In 20 years of going to football I've only ever had to go boom-boom once and it was the day after a bad curry, I'd had the two-bob bits all day; we were playing Airdrie in the league cup at Firhill just after Archibald had signed all those Spaniards for them, went just after half time, had to hover above the pan rather than sit on a pish-stained seat.

A truly horrible experience and one I never hope to repeat.

I think this has been commented on the Morton board before.

I have once before and really had to go. I was massivly hungover and touching cloth and you've no idea wether it's a fart or a shite you need so you need to go.

Worst feeling ever. It was either away to Raith or away to Stirling. Was made worse by the fact it was a jaggy jobby and my arse was sweating to the point I was sliding off the pan. Being in a public toilet you can't exactly let out any sort of yelp without someone thinking your pulling the head off it.

Once. That was at Hamilton away on Boxing Day last year after I had one of their not so mighty Steak Pies.

After a particularly hard night on the beer and curry followed by a substantial carry out on the train to Dumfries I took two jobbys in one game at Palmerston Park. I also sharted in the pub after the match and unless someone has moved them there still could be a shit stained pair of boxer shorts stashed behind the cistern in the Hole in the Wa pub in Dumfries town centre.

Nope just hold it in.

two pages and 33 posts and not one mention of Ian McCall - the real Mcjobby!

never actually in a stadium as such, does a junior ground count?

well actually behind one of the stands,long time ago same old story to much beer the night before
dodgy kebab and said ground didnt have a social club and the dressing rooms were on the opposite side from where i was and touching cloth

andrex should invest in docking leaves and market them,

I had a trainspotting moment in the bogs at Livingston during our championship winning season 99-00.

I had a really heavy night on the sauce the previous day, and was feeling absolutely rank sitting in a packed away end as it was quite near the end of the season.

Just had that urge and I just HAD to go, the toilet was absolutely minging, and even in hover mode it was one of the most horrific experiences I've ever had at a game.

To compound the misery, Stephen McGarry scored a superb goal whilst I was in there

Quite possibly THE most random thread I have ever read

I've been for a jobby at Ibrox once, a horrendous experience that I never want to repeat. I would imagine now that the bogs are the covert smokers haven that you might actually die if you had to sit in there for any period of time.

On a slightly different note, the boozer we go to before games at Ibrox, Brechins, if you want to drop the kids off at the pool you need to ask for the key that's kept behind the bar. This key is attached to a Hamlet cigar tin, so everyone in the place knows what you're away to do.

I don't think the barmaid was too impressed the first time I asked for it and I asked her if she wanted me to shit in the tin.

I was down at Liverpool v Sunderland in Feb this year and went for a dump at h/time,I found the lock didn,t work which wasn't a problem as i just held the door shut.However when i came to shall i say have a wipe i let go of the door and someone opened it as i did the deed

Pittodrie for me, against Killie in on our 1st season in the SPL. Boggin' like.

Never, I always hold it in

Got the runs after eating a pie at Broadwood vs Queens Park. Unfortunatly it was at half time so the place was heaving and my antics were heard loud and clear.

That's the only time IIRC

I once broke in to Firhell and shat on the centre circle

No never.

Artmedia Bratislava at Home in the CL, got reading the programe & left the cubicle to find there was a Q.

Oh dear!

only once that was
at starks park

It was actually Kircaldy.

Too true mate.

The toilets at TFS are actually quite civilised so I'd have no problem doing a greyfriars if necessary.