5. Man- flu

4. Shingles

3. Asthma

2. Bell's Palsey

1. Anal abcess

Asthma
Cold
Chest Infection
Diarrea (sp?)
Sore Tummy

1) had some infection where i kept getting boils big fucking bastard boils, still got several scars
2) chest glands swelling up
3) freshers flu
4) infected toe-nail
5) china in my hand.

I'm asthmatic too. I don't think you can put it down as an illness though! You do still get some literature describing/referring to it as a disease, but I think most now call it a condition (although I hate that word too!). It's pretty much a big allergy thing really and the symptoms are caused by irritation in some way. Although some illnesses constitute these irritants, the resulting symptoms aren't an illness. Anyway, off my soapbox long enough to list my own top five...

1. Bronchitis
2. Chest Infection
3. Throat Infection
4. Tonsillitis
5. Common cold

FFS - Did you start this thread just so you could tell us that?

1. gastric flu - GREEN vomit I ask you!
2. thrush - And we're talking really really really bad thrush, I mean the kind where you get every symptom associated with it and you can't move for fear of leaking and can't go outside for fear someone will think you've spilled tuna juice down your trousers. The kind where your kind supportive pals give you nicknames like "makrel-minge" and "kipper-crotch"
3. normal flu - You'd be forgiven for thinking you're dying
4. colds - Not being able to breathe properly is bad
5. Chest infections - See "4. colds" but at least you can usually breathe OK. Problem being you can't breathe without coughing

No. But I don't mind telling you, it was pure agg. I seem to remember lying on my side for a week praying for constipation.

my mum almost died from asthma when she was a wean. living on a farm didnt really help.

i inherited it from her. it's not as bad as hers. thank f**k. but i do always panic if i forget my inhaler.

Shingles
Salmonella poisoning
Kawasaki Syndrome
Excema
Skin infection

So eh...what are you up to the night hen?

1) Diverticular disease, leading to peritonitis, a colostomy, a reversal of said colostomy, abdominal infection, reinfection and a total of 5 operations in 2 years.

Close the thread. I win.

Edited to say - I've just noticed that the "John McVeigh" filters are still on. Nice.

That dose was enough to put me off for life!

1. Flu
2. Common Cold
3. Appendicitis
4. one of those 24 hr sickness bugs that gets around

Thats it I think, I've been quite lucky. I've been to the doctors about 4 times in the last 15 years.

Is that where you think you're a motorbike?

I've only ever had the cold or a slight flu. I'm like Bruce Willis in unbreakable

1. Norovirus - this was fecking horrible
2. Flu
3. Cold
4. Some sort of skin condition
5. Food poisoning

I don't think I've been particularly unlucky with my health.

1. Ulcerative Collitis - worst flair up meant shitting pure blood with ulcers all the way out my arse hole so i had lie on my side, also, after a couple weeks of this, i'd lost a third of my weight (i'm a skinny hoor at the best of times) and was too week to walk as far as the end of my bed and was vomitting bile (not even sure why, that's not usually a symptom!). needless to say i seek medical attention a bit sooner these days and is generally kept in remission (although i have to get a methotrexate jag in my arse every week which is a bit pish)

2. Primary sclerosing collangitis. essentially the same kind of the thing as number one but in the Bile ducts instead of the colon, it basically starves my liver of the stuff it needs to work properly and my blood test results always come back in red 'dangerzone' print despite basically being normal (for me). Means i'm not allowed to drink anymore which is pish and i get daft referred pains along the nerve line.

the rest would be covered by the usual colds cough's and sneezes garbage although i did have Asthma one summer? don't know what's that about although i can still get inhalers on repeat prescription if i want despite it being a a bout 15 years ago!

1) Leg break (does that count?)
2) Getting one of them hospital bugs
3) Salmonella
4) Dysentry
5) Leg spasms
Just missing out is asthma
All gay.

I've got Aids but I've also suffered from a nast........................................................
.................

It's a horrible thing to have when it's not well-controlled. Thankfully mine is, but I still have episodes where I can't leave the house without thinking of my inhalers and where they are.

I forgot to take two of my 12 hourly inhalers with me when I went to Perth a couple of years ago. You wouldn't believe the trouble I had getting replacements. I spent half a day trawling round various doctor's surgeries and pharmacies until someone finally understood, had the answer and gave me the medication to help me keep breathing! By which time, of course, I was even more breathless than when I'd started because of all the to-ing and fro-ing.

Next time you are up and in the position described above, I can help with all your pharmaceutical needs.

1. Gastric Flu - A truly spectacular 72 hour-long hell of spewing and the shits. I couldnt even keep fucking water down.
2. Common Cold - Thoroughly annoying, especially as i have one now.
3. Normal Flu - My worst bout of this lasted nearly two weeks and was truly awful. Ironically it came 3 weeks after i'd pulled a 3 day sickie from work with made-up flu.

Dont think i've had much else.

I feel I've taken a risk even quoting you.




Small, medium or large vessel disease?



What a bag o' shite.


1. A few days off with Ebola.
2. Bird Flu - meh!
3. MRSA following my penis reduction.

Norovirus. It's the only real illness I've had as an adult, and it is absolute purgatory. I'm hoping you can only get it once. Awful.

cold
stomach bug
chicken pox

cant think of any more as i dont think that asthma and hayfever count

1. Shingles
2. Food poisoning
3. Broken leg and having my tendons in my arm halfed in two
4. Throat infection
5. And whatever is wrong with my ankle right now.

1. Gluteus maximus muscle abscesses
2. Infective mononucleosis
3. Ringworm (horrible, nasty disease)
4. Thrush (see comments from earlier poster, I fully agree).
5. Clinical depression. Nearly lost everything.

How do you know you haven't acidentally brushed past me at a game!

Thank God I've never had that horrid disease since. Out of everything I had that was the most irritating!

Errghhhhh.......

Botulism
Gemfibrozil
Polycythaemia
Blastomycosis
Hangover

That thing known as cancer was shite. Other than that nothing else I have had doesn't come even close.

What about my Pharmaceutical needs ?????

Mumps and tonsilitis.

Gallstones (which went undiagnosed for years, doctors thinking I had heartburn and indigestion) and subsequent removal of gallbladder.
Absolute agony at the time which meant morphine injections to ease the pain.

No problems at all now

tarantula hair isn't funny either

I don't recall any help being offered to you? Fend for yourself!


See, now that's what you get for having a job which entails playing with dangerous creatures half the time!

Well the most serious things I've had are injuries rather than illnesses, so

1) Encephalitis
2) Pneumonia (twice)
3) Post Traumatic Depression
4) Chicken Pox
5) Conjunctivitis

Perhaps I should rephrase : All your asthma related pharmaceutical needs.

As an adult?

I've had shingles. That's about it.

I had things like Chicken Pox, Mumps and Measles as a child but I don't recall them. I also had childhood asthma but I pretty much outgrew it and only very rarely have mild wheezing now. I don't have inhalers or anything.

I'm allergic to cats, dogs, hay, dust and feathers though it's pretty mild. We had cats and they never really bothered me.

I've also ruptured ankle ligaments twice which is fecking sore but I don't suppose it counts as an illness!

Labyrinthitis
Sunstroke
Apendicitis
'Flu
Stomach bug I caught in Egypt, I honestly thought I was going to shit myself to death.

Aids, the lemsips sorted it after a few days.

Norovirus - "OYF" doesn't quite describe it. You've got a split second to decide what end to aim at the bog.

Severe chest infection - had this the weekend Euro 2008 kicked off and the doctor said it was as close to pneumonia as you can get without actually having it. Really nasty.

Asthma - not sure if it counts or not.

Freshers' Flu - had it a couple of weeks ago. Started with feeling like my head was being crushed then followed the generally feeling like shit.

Er...that's about it from me. I'm generally quite healthy (touchwood).