Hi there, i've just found this forum while browsing through this years Scottish Cup teams (Crichton FC got a bye?!?!?) Anyway, this is a post i made in an off-topic section of a non-football forum. I hope you enjoy it..
Having seen three 0-0 draws early in the season, myself and (very) occasional UKFF poster Goldust decided to go to lesser grounds than Love Street, Firhill and Hampden in search of the goals. Here is events so far..
First stop was a week past on Saturday to see Saltcoats Vics vs Newmains Utd in the West Of Scotland Cup. We arrived in plenty of time for kick-off, and it was rather disconcerting to see no cars parked outside Campbell Park. In fact, not only no cars, but no fans and importantly, no football teams! Disaster! After the utter confusion of realising there was no game on, panic ensued. We had geared ourselves up for a junior football goal-fest but were now standing in Sandylands Caravan Park (To all non-Ayrshire residents- this is not a good thing) Thankfully, i had checked the entire West of Scotland fixture list that morning and quickly constructed a plan. Ardeer Thistle were at home & we had 20 mins until kick-off. A brisk walk and we would see some football atfer all.
After negotiating the perils of the Sandylands including us struggling to find a railway bridge we arrived in Stevenston and promptly made a complete hash of finding the ground. Thankfully, we heard a distant whistle and paid our £4 to watch what would surely be an enthralling match. Ardeer were playing...they were playing...well, we didnt know who they were playing. In fact, we didnt even know which team was which. Matters were made worse by the eagerly-anticipated trip to the pie hut. We had kept our spirits up en route to the game, while getting lost and sweating like pregnant nuns, by talking about pies. (Alfie's Bistro in Whitletts is apparently the place to be as far as pies go) Two pies were ordered with relish (not burger). This was the moment that we had been waiting for, the football had become immaterial, all that mattered was these pies. We each took a bite..
They had fucking ICE in them! ICE! With disgusted looks, we discarded our pies and attempted to get rid of the taste by waashing it down with overpriced Coke. A fellow fan walked by us, pie in hand. When warned of the contents of said pie, he replied: " I had so much bevvy last night, i could eat a shite". Shortly thereafter, the fan returned with the remark "I could eat a shite, but not that pie" His pie had been placed in front of a dog. Even the dog would not eat that pie. In fact, it seemed to say "I'd much rather have a tin of Chum" In the midst of all this, Ardeer were already two-nil down and i had seen my first goals of the season, but who had scored them?
After asking some old bloke who was playing, we discovered it was Beith, a West Premier team, who had made the trip to Ardeer Stadium. Evidence is inconclusive thus far to whether they are a good team, or if Ardeer are just very, very bad. The latter is more probable as by half-time Ardeer were 7-0 down, with their defence showing a remarkable inability to deal with high balls. Half-time consisted of debating just how bad the pies were, getting mixed up with the score (a couple of kids were quite sure that it was only 6-0) and watching the under-10s play on the pitch and shame the entire Ardeer team with their skills.
The second half kicked off, and within about 2 minutes Beith had scored again. At this point i contemplated phoning up Arbroath FC warning them that their scoring record was under threat. However, Ardeer manager Peter Kean (local estate agent) and his shouty assistant pulled off some sort of minor miracle and Ardeer actually played well for the next 20 minutes. During this time, the Ardeer Thistle webmaster attempted to defend the team, explaining they were a bad lot, but they were only being cuffed today because they had 3 players sent off last week against Kello Rovers so had two strikers in defence for this game. Incidentally, that game game ended in a 12-1 defeat. Kello are from the notorious footballing hotspot of Kirkconnel, so thats nothing to be ashamed about.
The game became less entertaining in the latter stages, mainly because Beith stopped trying. They did however net another two goals, making the final score 0-10, the last of which was greeted with a huge cheer from the travelling support, probably because they had never seen their team score double figures before. There was actually a bus of Beith fans, so fair play to them. Apart from the final socreline, the notable thing was that on more than one occasion, my mate and myself noticed the Ardeer management staring at us as if saying "Who are these young guys in the crowd, give them a trial, they must be better than the players we have now" Sweeger (Goldust) was a goalkeeper as a boy, and not a bad one. But he hasnt played properly in years after a neck injury. I, on the other hand, was utter rubbish as a child. In fact, ex-Celt Bobby Lennox couldnt believe how bad i was when i attended his football training. I'm a better player now- i'm still mince, but i'm hardworking mince now.
Overall, the game was bad, but in an incredibly entertaining way. Plus, we'll never forget the iced pie. As it turned out, the reason there was no game in Saltcoats is because their ground is condemned and falling apart, thus they had to play their cup-tie in Largs. To be fair, the ground didnt actually look that bad compared to the rest of Saltcoats. This weeks proposed trip to the Whitletts Vics vs Lugar Boswell game, and a visit to the now revered Alfie's Bistro was aborted early Saturday when i realised the game was in Lugar. The adventure shall continue next weekend with a Three Towns Derby- Ardrossan Winton Rovers vs Ardeer Thistle!
Hopefully we have the cojones to going to more games throughout the season. If we do, i'll keep posting.
Full Version: The Exciting Junior Football Adventure!
Sounds like it was fun, in that typical Scottish masochistic fashion. 
Junior football is where it's at. More laughs, more effort, a lot cheaper and no sodding stewards.
Junior football is where it's at. More laughs, more effort, a lot cheaper and no sodding stewards.
QUOTE (RoryFice @ Sep 28 2008, 21:00) 
Hi there, i've just found this forum while browsing through this years Scottish Cup teams (Crichton FC got a bye?!?!?) Anyway, this is a post i made in an off-topic section of a non-football forum. I hope you enjoy it..
Having seen three 0-0 draws early in the season, myself and (very) occasional UKFF poster Goldust decided to go to lesser grounds than Love Street, Firhill and Hampden in search of the goals. Here is events so far..
First stop was a week past on Saturday to see Saltcoats Vics vs Newmains Utd in the West Of Scotland Cup. We arrived in plenty of time for kick-off, and it was rather disconcerting to see no cars parked outside Campbell Park. In fact, not only no cars, but no fans and importantly, no football teams! Disaster! After the utter confusion of realising there was no game on, panic ensued. We had geared ourselves up for a junior football goal-fest but were now standing in Sandylands Caravan Park (To all non-Ayrshire residents- this is not a good thing) Thankfully, i had checked the entire West of Scotland fixture list that morning and quickly constructed a plan. Ardeer Thistle were at home & we had 20 mins until kick-off. A brisk walk and we would see some football atfer all.
After negotiating the perils of the Sandylands including us struggling to find a railway bridge we arrived in Stevenston and promptly made a complete hash of finding the ground. Thankfully, we heard a distant whistle and paid our £4 to watch what would surely be an enthralling match. Ardeer were playing...they were playing...well, we didnt know who they were playing. In fact, we didnt even know which team was which. Matters were made worse by the eagerly-anticipated trip to the pie hut. We had kept our spirits up en route to the game, while getting lost and sweating like pregnant nuns, by talking about pies. (Alfie's Bistro in Whitletts is apparently the place to be as far as pies go) Two pies were ordered with relish (not burger). This was the moment that we had been waiting for, the football had become immaterial, all that mattered was these pies. We each took a bite..
They had fucking ICE in them! ICE! With disgusted looks, we discarded our pies and attempted to get rid of the taste by waashing it down with overpriced Coke. A fellow fan walked by us, pie in hand. When warned of the contents of said pie, he replied: " I had so much bevvy last night, i could eat a shite". Shortly thereafter, the fan returned with the remark "I could eat a shite, but not that pie" His pie had been placed in front of a dog. Even the dog would not eat that pie. In fact, it seemed to say "I'd much rather have a tin of Chum" In the midst of all this, Ardeer were already two-nil down and i had seen my first goals of the season, but who had scored them?
After asking some old bloke who was playing, we discovered it was Beith, a West Premier team, who had made the trip to Ardeer Stadium. Evidence is inconclusive thus far to whether they are a good team, or if Ardeer are just very, very bad. The latter is more probable as by half-time Ardeer were 7-0 down, with their defence showing a remarkable inability to deal with high balls. Half-time consisted of debating just how bad the pies were, getting mixed up with the score (a couple of kids were quite sure that it was only 6-0) and watching the under-10s play on the pitch and shame the entire Ardeer team with their skills.
The second half kicked off, and within about 2 minutes Beith had scored again. At this point i contemplated phoning up Arbroath FC warning them that their scoring record was under threat. However, Ardeer manager Peter Kean (local estate agent) and his shouty assistant pulled off some sort of minor miracle and Ardeer actually played well for the next 20 minutes. During this time, the Ardeer Thistle webmaster attempted to defend the team, explaining they were a bad lot, but they were only being cuffed today because they had 3 players sent off last week against Kello Rovers so had two strikers in defence for this game. Incidentally, that game game ended in a 12-1 defeat. Kello are from the notorious footballing hotspot of Kirkconnel, so thats nothing to be ashamed about.
The game became less entertaining in the latter stages, mainly because Beith stopped trying. They did however net another two goals, making the final score 0-10, the last of which was greeted with a huge cheer from the travelling support, probably because they had never seen their team score double figures before. There was actually a bus of Beith fans, so fair play to them. Apart from the final socreline, the notable thing was that on more than one occasion, my mate and myself noticed the Ardeer management staring at us as if saying "Who are these young guys in the crowd, give them a trial, they must be better than the players we have now" Sweeger (Goldust) was a goalkeeper as a boy, and not a bad one. But he hasnt played properly in years after a neck injury. I, on the other hand, was utter rubbish as a child. In fact, ex-Celt Bobby Lennox couldnt believe how bad i was when i attended his football training. I'm a better player now- i'm still mince, but i'm hardworking mince now.
Overall, the game was bad, but in an incredibly entertaining way. Plus, we'll never forget the iced pie. As it turned out, the reason there was no game in Saltcoats is because their ground is condemned and falling apart, thus they had to play their cup-tie in Largs. To be fair, the ground didnt actually look that bad compared to the rest of Saltcoats. This weeks proposed trip to the Whitletts Vics vs Lugar Boswell game, and a visit to the now revered Alfie's Bistro was aborted early Saturday when i realised the game was in Lugar. The adventure shall continue next weekend with a Three Towns Derby- Ardrossan Winton Rovers vs Ardeer Thistle!
Hopefully we have the cojones to going to more games throughout the season. If we do, i'll keep posting.
Having seen three 0-0 draws early in the season, myself and (very) occasional UKFF poster Goldust decided to go to lesser grounds than Love Street, Firhill and Hampden in search of the goals. Here is events so far..
First stop was a week past on Saturday to see Saltcoats Vics vs Newmains Utd in the West Of Scotland Cup. We arrived in plenty of time for kick-off, and it was rather disconcerting to see no cars parked outside Campbell Park. In fact, not only no cars, but no fans and importantly, no football teams! Disaster! After the utter confusion of realising there was no game on, panic ensued. We had geared ourselves up for a junior football goal-fest but were now standing in Sandylands Caravan Park (To all non-Ayrshire residents- this is not a good thing) Thankfully, i had checked the entire West of Scotland fixture list that morning and quickly constructed a plan. Ardeer Thistle were at home & we had 20 mins until kick-off. A brisk walk and we would see some football atfer all.
After negotiating the perils of the Sandylands including us struggling to find a railway bridge we arrived in Stevenston and promptly made a complete hash of finding the ground. Thankfully, we heard a distant whistle and paid our £4 to watch what would surely be an enthralling match. Ardeer were playing...they were playing...well, we didnt know who they were playing. In fact, we didnt even know which team was which. Matters were made worse by the eagerly-anticipated trip to the pie hut. We had kept our spirits up en route to the game, while getting lost and sweating like pregnant nuns, by talking about pies. (Alfie's Bistro in Whitletts is apparently the place to be as far as pies go) Two pies were ordered with relish (not burger). This was the moment that we had been waiting for, the football had become immaterial, all that mattered was these pies. We each took a bite..
They had fucking ICE in them! ICE! With disgusted looks, we discarded our pies and attempted to get rid of the taste by waashing it down with overpriced Coke. A fellow fan walked by us, pie in hand. When warned of the contents of said pie, he replied: " I had so much bevvy last night, i could eat a shite". Shortly thereafter, the fan returned with the remark "I could eat a shite, but not that pie" His pie had been placed in front of a dog. Even the dog would not eat that pie. In fact, it seemed to say "I'd much rather have a tin of Chum" In the midst of all this, Ardeer were already two-nil down and i had seen my first goals of the season, but who had scored them?
After asking some old bloke who was playing, we discovered it was Beith, a West Premier team, who had made the trip to Ardeer Stadium. Evidence is inconclusive thus far to whether they are a good team, or if Ardeer are just very, very bad. The latter is more probable as by half-time Ardeer were 7-0 down, with their defence showing a remarkable inability to deal with high balls. Half-time consisted of debating just how bad the pies were, getting mixed up with the score (a couple of kids were quite sure that it was only 6-0) and watching the under-10s play on the pitch and shame the entire Ardeer team with their skills.
The second half kicked off, and within about 2 minutes Beith had scored again. At this point i contemplated phoning up Arbroath FC warning them that their scoring record was under threat. However, Ardeer manager Peter Kean (local estate agent) and his shouty assistant pulled off some sort of minor miracle and Ardeer actually played well for the next 20 minutes. During this time, the Ardeer Thistle webmaster attempted to defend the team, explaining they were a bad lot, but they were only being cuffed today because they had 3 players sent off last week against Kello Rovers so had two strikers in defence for this game. Incidentally, that game game ended in a 12-1 defeat. Kello are from the notorious footballing hotspot of Kirkconnel, so thats nothing to be ashamed about.
The game became less entertaining in the latter stages, mainly because Beith stopped trying. They did however net another two goals, making the final score 0-10, the last of which was greeted with a huge cheer from the travelling support, probably because they had never seen their team score double figures before. There was actually a bus of Beith fans, so fair play to them. Apart from the final socreline, the notable thing was that on more than one occasion, my mate and myself noticed the Ardeer management staring at us as if saying "Who are these young guys in the crowd, give them a trial, they must be better than the players we have now" Sweeger (Goldust) was a goalkeeper as a boy, and not a bad one. But he hasnt played properly in years after a neck injury. I, on the other hand, was utter rubbish as a child. In fact, ex-Celt Bobby Lennox couldnt believe how bad i was when i attended his football training. I'm a better player now- i'm still mince, but i'm hardworking mince now.
Overall, the game was bad, but in an incredibly entertaining way. Plus, we'll never forget the iced pie. As it turned out, the reason there was no game in Saltcoats is because their ground is condemned and falling apart, thus they had to play their cup-tie in Largs. To be fair, the ground didnt actually look that bad compared to the rest of Saltcoats. This weeks proposed trip to the Whitletts Vics vs Lugar Boswell game, and a visit to the now revered Alfie's Bistro was aborted early Saturday when i realised the game was in Lugar. The adventure shall continue next weekend with a Three Towns Derby- Ardrossan Winton Rovers vs Ardeer Thistle!
Hopefully we have the cojones to going to more games throughout the season. If we do, i'll keep posting.
Superb Rory
.Welcome to the life known as the juniors.Your pie hut story fits in very well with other threads on high quality junior sites.Visit Linlithgow Rose fans forum where they have a few experts/photgrapher spy/hillarious jibes/never feel safe to eat a pie or piece in peace again 
.If i knew how to attach a link i would.
QUOTE (newport county @ Sep 29 2008, 13:44)
Superb Rory .Welcome to the life known as the juniors.Your pie hut story fits in very well with other threads on high quality junior sites.Visit Linlithgow Rose fans forum where they have a few experts/photgrapher spy/hillarious jibes/never feel safe to eat a pie or piece in peace again .If i knew how to attach a link i would.
.Welcome to the life known as the juniors.Your pie hut story fits in very well with other threads on high quality junior sites.Visit Linlithgow Rose fans forum where they have a few experts/photgrapher spy/hillarious jibes/never feel safe to eat a pie or piece in peace again .If i knew how to attach a link i would. Sadly though the talent scouts have nabbed the photographer and he has gone all billy big time
on us
QUOTE (RoryFice @ Sep 28 2008, 21:00)
With disgusted looks, we discarded our pies and attempted to get rid of the taste by waashing it down with overpriced Coke.
This was a conversation I heard at one pie-hut.
"Ah dinny fancy a Bovril. Huv ye goat anyhin else, like a Coke?"
"Aye, there's Coke. Ah can even gee ye wan a them low-fat yins"
"Naw. Jist gee us a fat Coke".
Communication's all about making yourself understood and they understood each other well enough.
QUOTE (juniornews @ Sep 29 2008, 13:29)
Sadly though the talent scouts have nabbed the photographer and he has gone all billy big time
on us
on us
Whit, you mean he's been headhunted by Boness
(sorry couldn't resist it)
QUOTE (santheman @ Sep 29 2008, 14:37)
Whit, you mean he's been headhunted by Boness
(sorry couldn't resist it)
(sorry couldn't resist it)
The best transfer of the summer was the photographer moving to the big time. I can eat my pie's in peace now.
Except midweek games as he has been known to lurk at them, I have had to start having a chicken salad before i go just so i don't get caught.
After the short venture to Stevenston a fortnight ago, the intrepid Sweeger and myself decided to visit more exotic climes for this weeks dose of junior football excitement. We had watched Ardeer getting pumped previously, so we thought it best to see them again, this time in a Three Towns derby vs Ardrossan Winton Rovers.
Amazingly, we had actually managed to convince more friends to join us at this game. Meney, doppelganger of "Shotgun" Shota Arveladze and Simmy, a rotund fellow who had never once attended a football game were convinced to attend the match. After being involved in a panic-stricken journey to the game involving ScotRail and flooded train lines we arrived at Winton Park, and were pleasantly surprised to see that the game was on.
Most likely due to the pishing rain, the attendance was limited to about 50 hardy souls. Arriving a minute or so after kick-off, the AWR committee members treated us like demi-gods, unable to understand why we would come from Kilwinning as neutrals to see this game. We were referred to as "rich students", no doubt in an attempt to make us buy a programme. This tactic worked, as we spent money on programmes, pies and bovril.
The game itself was a good one. Unlike two weeks ago, Ardeer looked like a football team, albeit not a very good one. They even scored two goals- a catastrophic own goal by an AWR defender and a penalty. Unfortunately for them AWR scored 4. They were the much better team, but displayed an inability to finish off chances. One moment stands out in particular- in the last minute two AWR players were sent clean through on goal. Both had an effort saved by the keeper, as did their team-mate who was also running forward. They then contrived to miss three gilt-edged chances between them within 30 seconds, resulting in pelters from the fans. Junior football at its best!
All in all, great value for £4, and i'm looking forward to next weeks match, whatever it may be.
Amazingly, we had actually managed to convince more friends to join us at this game. Meney, doppelganger of "Shotgun" Shota Arveladze and Simmy, a rotund fellow who had never once attended a football game were convinced to attend the match. After being involved in a panic-stricken journey to the game involving ScotRail and flooded train lines we arrived at Winton Park, and were pleasantly surprised to see that the game was on.
Most likely due to the pishing rain, the attendance was limited to about 50 hardy souls. Arriving a minute or so after kick-off, the AWR committee members treated us like demi-gods, unable to understand why we would come from Kilwinning as neutrals to see this game. We were referred to as "rich students", no doubt in an attempt to make us buy a programme. This tactic worked, as we spent money on programmes, pies and bovril.
The game itself was a good one. Unlike two weeks ago, Ardeer looked like a football team, albeit not a very good one. They even scored two goals- a catastrophic own goal by an AWR defender and a penalty. Unfortunately for them AWR scored 4. They were the much better team, but displayed an inability to finish off chances. One moment stands out in particular- in the last minute two AWR players were sent clean through on goal. Both had an effort saved by the keeper, as did their team-mate who was also running forward. They then contrived to miss three gilt-edged chances between them within 30 seconds, resulting in pelters from the fans. Junior football at its best!
All in all, great value for £4, and i'm looking forward to next weeks match, whatever it may be.
Mate, loving your work but this stuff is too lengthy for a forum. I suggest you start a blog (register with http://www.blogger.com) and then post the address up here. Stick in all your previous posts (backdated of course) and you'll be off.
I for one would read it regularly as I'm sure would many others. Keep it up.
I for one would read it regularly as I'm sure would many others. Keep it up.
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