Thats just how good he is.

Well he certainly put's me to shame

I think it's called upward motion. Were you born without a penis Bobby?

in fact, i wasn't.

But at 3:00, without sleep, nervously awaiting my exam results, i found it humorous.

so suck it you loser.

It was actually 3:05, for what it's worth.

It was a day of excitement then?

Hes got a huge stauner!

Bonorific!

Some people clearly aren't keeping their eye on the ball at games these days.

And some people think when Simon Donnelly bends down, he is scratching his shin!


I'll get me coat!

He looks a lot smaller when you are sitting in the stand

I am glad I wasn't near his upward motion.

It's the downward ones that worry me.

I'm sure his mum warned him he'd have someone's eye out with it.

I hope for Mickael's sake Mark isnt going up the way....he might swallow it!

Holy Wallopers Batman!

Theres always a few of these on here each season

Last year I remember Johnny Tuffey, Ally McCoist and a Morton fan getting caught out.

Ding dong!

i am waiting on mine 2..how old r yi?

I can reveal to you that you've failed English.

Good Luck .

I can reveal to you, that you've passed in smart-Alecness

That sentence does not need a comma.

And what is a "comma"?

A profound state of unconsciousness

Iv failed everything,

I passed them all.

To those who failed, take heart in the fact that although you'll find many career paths are now blocked off, you don't need any qualifications at all to buy heroin. And it feels brilliant. Much better than five A's. So who's really winning?

thanks m8 a done well actually

This thread has gone right off topic, I thought we were talking about Mark Gilhaney's piece

Well i found the photo at around 3, and posted it 5 minutes later


bell end

Some people need to lighten up

Wendy's right y'all.

And so were Pink Floyd - WEE DON'T NEED NO EDJEWKAYSHON. Damn straight.

Frontman of the popular beat combo The Verve, Richard Ashcroft, however, got it all wrong - The drugs do work. The junkie hoardes roaming our streets bouncing off walls and butt fucking your granny for her pension money provide ample evidence.

Now, where did I put my crackpipe..........

I know

Just to take this topic off subject again (thank god), I got five 1s and three 2s. I'm absolutely delighted.

Richard Ashcroft was obviously doing the wrong drugs in the wrong situations. For instance, getting loaded up on Valium and beer on your own in a pokey tenement with only cooncil telly for company after you've just been jilted by a lover is invariably going to result in depression. On the other hand, quaffing 4 pints and two vallies before going on a rollercoaster is going to make things feel utterly marvellous. Swings and roundabouts, Rich. Get yourself out of the house.

Good point, you're absolutely right.

On the topic of drug fuelled rollercoaster riding, I was on a stag night in Blackpool a few years ago and went on "The Big One" or whatever it's called after a night of chemical excess and no sleep. Jumped on the thing without paying a great deal of attention as to what I was doing because I was jabbering away with my mates. All of a sudden I realised I was several hundred feet in the air, right at the front, and about to plunge back to earth at high velocity.....................

...... ......

I'm sure it's quite a buzz without being in an altered state, but i tell you what I came off that thing feeling like I'd just stuck wet fingers into a live socket.

Anyway, sorry about pulling this one off topic chaps. Well done/commiserations with the exam results, and bravo to footballers with a hard-on.

You wanting to get back to the boaby yeah?

At around 3? You said 3..you're lying again.

Keyboard Mafia

Yeah Ive been on it to baz. NEVER AGAIN!.....after a night on the lash that is!

From reading your posts I had you more down as a four 1s, three 2s, and a 4 sorta guy.

As this seems to be the 'off-topic' topic I thought I'd just say a thank you to you guys for making me laugh - the funniest thread in ages and FAR superior to any of the drivel that's in the SPL forum.

Yeah, yeah, I know, that's the cue for loadsa comments about how it won't be long before we're back here for good, but mibbe that would be too obvious for guys of your calibre!

I had to seduce one of the markers to get that 4 turned into a 1

Naturally.

There really ought to be a drugs forum.

I ended up lying on the floor of a toilet cubicle at McDiarmid Park during a game against Hamilton last season. That was a low point. Oh, and just to keep it relevant, I had an erection.

Hey, we're all been there buddy. In the bogs at the match, twitching on the floor, frothing at the mouth, spewing out a stream of incoherent nonsense. The steward bangs on the door and asks if everything's ok and you shout "Not really pal - the evil leprechaun they call McManus Tam has stolen the key to the lost kingom of ZsaVuVu and taken flight down this here toilet facility. To which the steward replies "..........as long as your not smoking" and leaves you to masturbate furiously while wallowing in your own lunacy.

Yes indeed, we've all been there.

The froth, the froth. How it issues forth from the darkest place in one's soul. Like a product of the pressure involved in just keeping it together for even a single second longer. Your jaw locks, your tongue works overtime behind your grinding teeth, your eyes jump around in your head, distracted by the shards of light bouncing around before your eyes. "Okay," you think, "............." But you've forgottten, and all you can think about for the next 5 seconds is how your knee is fucking amazing. Like, seriously amazing. And how people are fucking stupid for not appreciating these facts. The minutae. You're soaked with contempt for the human race, or is it sweat? But, no, wait, you love them. They can't be held responsible for falling victim to this system. A great passing cloud of calm envelopes you in it's yolk.

Water would be nice, but the foam is weighing heavily on your mind. Your jaw tightens again. Just keep it together. You're pretty sure that in another second this will all be over.

Was it like that?

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous. Got me?

Sorry, please pretend I didn't say that.