As it says. What are the funniest songs you've heard at/before/after games? For me it would be:

1. It's a long way to piccadilly - song laughing at rangers after the uefa final (cant find link)
2. We're all goin to Paris, Gazza's goin to Butlins - At France 98
3. Youre just a fat eddy murphy - St.Mirren v rangers last season
4. We're the famous tartan army and we're here to save the whale - Scotland v Iceland
5. You can shove your Arc de Triomphe up yer arse - Scotland v France

The best one ever is Aberdeen fans' retort to "Sheep Shagging Bastards", when they replied, "Oh I'd rather shag a sheep than Mrs Mols".

Two of the best i've heard of are "If you cannae beat Shaun Dennis beat yer wife" to Gazza at Ibrox and the Partick fans who sing "We're not orange, we're not green, f**k yer pope and f**k yer Queen".

Love it !

"We've got Darkees we've got Darkees, You've no you've no."

Celery....celery Oh! i'll make you cum when i tickle you bum with a lump of celery. -- Chelsea fans.

just after livi got promoted we had just signed gary bollan from st J and they had signed darren jackson who we had just released


we've got gary bollan
we've got gary bollan
NA NA NA NAAAA
NA NA NA NAAAA
you've got darren jackson
you've got darren jackson
HA HA HA HAAAA
HA HA HA HAAAA

"He's here, he's there, we're not allowed to swear,
Frank Leboeuf, Frank Leboeuf!"

Frank had complained about Chelsea fans swearing when they sang about him.

He's big! he's black!
He leads the Reserves attack!
Valentim, Valentim!

In honour of our prolific reserve striker Evangelino Valentim, though I didn't have the courage to sing it during a game. I did belt it out in Football Manager though

Possibly because you would of been thrown out the ground for racism?

Nadia, yer havin a laugh... at a female Par when we played them at EEP a few years back. She was giving us the vicky's at the time, and after that, she sat down and said nothing for the rest of the game.

Not so much a chant, but my mate at the same game shouts at Ian Campbell 'oi Campbell, I hope you take yer looks aff yer maw'. One of the pars players burst out laughing at that one.

The best one I heard was the Berwick Rangers song about living for sex and danger

Do do do nigel reo coker do do do nigel reo coker

Aston villa fans...excellent

He scores goal galore, he scores goals
He scores goal galore, he scores goals
He scores goal galore, he scores goals
paul scholes he scores goals

gabby gabby gabby gabby gabby agbonlahor, hes fast as f**k, hes fast as fuckkkkkkkk

to the tune of karma chamelon

Which part of it is racist?

To the tune of Artful Dodger - Re-rewind (the crowd soy Bo Selecta)

Van Persie, when the girl says no, molest her!

He's black, he's gay,
he plays for Air-d-rie
Fashanu, Fashanu!

the female steward at section T at almondvale got hefty abuse for looking like the women out the phones4u ads!

OO OO
SCARY MARY
OO OO
SCARY MARY

"We're gonna deep fry your pizza!" - Scotland vs Italy, sang walking through Glasgow city centre.

"You only sing when you're fishing" - QP @ Peterhead.

Spurs are on their way to Auschwitz, Hitler's going to gas them again

There's only twoooooo Andy Gorams...

Or every Arsenal fans's favourite:

He's bald, he's shit, gets a game when nobody's fit, Pascal Cygan.... na na

Just deleted my 5. Probably best suited for the nightshift since most mine are infact sick chants

Where is the racism? He is only stating a fact.

we did that when we had them in the cup during the big row about the quotas

followed by

"Your not fishin
your not fishin
YOUR NOT FISHIN ANYMORE!"

There's only one Armand One
He's hung, like a pony
He used to be shite
But now he's all right
Walking in an One wonderland...

Man Utd fans to Gary Neville (to the tune of David Bowie's Rebel Rebel.)

Neville, Neville, your passing's immense,
Neville, Neville, your tackling's the best,
Neville, Neville, your skills are not bad,
Neville Neville's the name of your dad!

Tottenham fans to Arsene Wenger

"Sit down you Paedophile!"

His uncle is his brother
His sister is his mother
They all f**k one another
The Adam family

Way!

We used to sing....

He's big, hes black
he keeps them out the sack
Kelvin Jack, Kelvin Jack

Funnily enough he let in 4 that day.

Posh spice is a slapper, she hates to be alone
and when she's shaggin beckham
she thinks of Bobby Sloan

Bobby sloan, bobby sloan.....

Think you'll find the words to that song is;

Posh spice is a slapper, her f*nny stinks of cod,
And when she's shagging Beckham,
She thinks of Andy Tod

Arsenal fans at White Hart Lane to the tune of 'she'll be coming round the mountains':

We were running through Tottenham with our willies hanging out
We were running through Tottenham with our willies hanging out
We were running through Tottenham, running through Tottenham
Running through Tottenham with our willies hanging out

Singing I've got a foreskin havent you? Fucking Jew!
Singing I've got a foreskin havent you? Fucking Jew!
Singing I've got a foreskin, I've got a foreskin
I've got a foreskin havent you? Fucking Jew!

Ace.

Who's that coming over your burd? Is it a gangster?

Those cheeky scouse Evertonian chappies to Stephen Gerrard

Posh spice is a slapper,she takes it up the rear
When she's shagging Beckham
She thinks of Graham Weir

Posh spice is a slapper, he fanny smells of gammon
And when she's shagging Beckham
She thinks of Conor Sammon

Steve Gerrard, Gerrard,
He runs over kids in cars,
His wife takes it up the arse,
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard.

I will refrain from others I have heard at Everton games.

Fixed.

Anyway, my favourite is a Liverpool song to the tune of The Jackson Five's "Blame It On The Boogie".

Don't blame it on Gerrard
Don't blame it on Finnan
Don't blame it on Hamaan
Blame it on Traore

He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet!
He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet!

Sorry, but its really:

Posh Spice is a slapper, she has a scabby fanny
And when shes shagging Beckham
She thinks of Phil Cannie!!!!!!!

That's fantastic. Arsenal fans take a lot of stick, but they've also given us the many, many Ashley Cole songs (Ten Men Went To Bed ) as well as, to the tune of 'Blame it on the Boogie':

"Don't blame it on Ade,
Don't blame it on the referees'
Don't blame it on the injuries
Just blame it on Eboue"

Posh spice is a slapper,she is a kinky fox,
When she's shagging Beckham!
She thinks of Keith Knox!

Theres too many posh spice songs......

Wears too much fake tan
.....thinks of Bobby Mann



Doesnae have a job
....Stevie Robb



Pop careers a myth
....thinks of Barry Smith



I'd like to add that all of them no longer play for Dundee

My god that would be perfect for Freddie Daquin!

To the tune of yellow submarine


Bobby Williamson has a f**ckin monkeys heid
f**kin monkeys heid, f**king monkeys heid
Bobby Williamson has a f**ckin monkeys heid
f**kin monkeys heid, f**king monkeys heid

he's black, smoked dope..........he' swinging from a rope! FASHANU FASHANU!

Made an appearance at Alloa, to the tune of "Gold" by Spandau Ballet.

Sloan, Sloan!
Always believe you're Rob Sloan
You've got the power to score,
You're indestructible!
Always believe in,
Cos you're Rob Sloan!

First time I heard it was for Rob Jones at Hibs, and I was glad to hear a Rovers version, it's fantastic

Adebayor, Adebayoooooorrr,
His dad washes elephants,
and his mum is a whore!


Eduardo woooah, Eduardo woooah,
He used to have great skills,
Now he walks like Heather Mills!

Both courtesy of The Chelsea fans.

Edit to add, Chels sing this one about their own player. (to the tune of the sun has got his hat on)

Petr Cech has got his hat on,
hip hip hip hooray,
Petr Cech has got his hat on coz without it he can't play!

To all of them.

My dad just told me this one. It was at a Man City vs Sheffield United game a couple of years ago at Bramall Lane. Sheffield belted out:

"We hate Wednesda-ay
We hate Wednesda-ay
We hate Wednesda-ay
We hate Wednesda-ay"

Then, as City were doing so shite, they sang:

"We hate Saturday
We hate Saturday
We hate Saturday
We hate Saturday!"

If you're standing,
On a corner,
With a red scarf,
Round your neck,
Chelsea boys,
Will come and get ya,
And we'll break,
Your fucking neck,
La la la la,
La la la la,
La la la la,
La la la..

One for Tottenham after being done by the police in Seville

You got battered,
You got battered,
You got battered in Seville,
You got battered in Seville

My old man said be a Tottenham fan,
And I said f**k off, b****cks you're a c**t,
I'd rather sh*g a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a Tottenham fan for just one minute
With hammers and hatchets, stanley knives and spanners,
We'll show the y**do b*st**ds how to fight (How to fight),
I'd rather sh*g a bucket with a big hole in it,
Than be a Tottenham fan,
Altogether now...
The Cry Was No Surrender,
Surrender Or You'll Die (Die, Die),
With Heart And Hand,
And Sword And Shield,
We'll Guard Old Shed End Walls