You are allowed to use a maximum of one sentence until someone else posts then you can post again, and to keep it in the first division the story must involve some of the clubs or players.
Don't know how this will go down but worth a go

Here goes

There was a knock at Ian McCall's window.

The fatman turned around to find Alex Rae, standing in his garden, exposing his wart-ridden genetalia.

Alex Rae then asked" have you got a pie"

Rae was in need of refuge after his home was repossessed as part of Dundee's liquidation proceedings.

rae got a hold of a suicide belt..

And made his way to a meeting with Mr.Roberts

Where Insight and Mr Roberts were fighting. ' My hamilton source is right!!' claimed Mr Roberts

Give this to your source said Insight as he kick Roberts firmly in the nuts whilst musing that it was a good day to wear his steel toe-capped Waffen SS boots

the attack failed however.....

Ian McCall was baffled that all this was going on outside his window, excited by the prospect he asked all three to become Thistle players.

they told the joby, 'dont be a clown boyo'

We've already signed pre-contract agreements with Swansea city fatsoo

mccall grabbed a samurai sword and started to...

They then heard a noise from afar,it sounded like a flute band.

'Oh no!' shouted Rae 'its David Farrells imperial army' which consisted of...

It was IronChicken and his tour bus to no where, and with a bottle of brasso in hand parked beside the 4 squabllers and said, "hop on, we won the league!!!!"

Naturally the bus led them straight to the mental hospital.

Whilst there what was left of the Gretna team was getting booked in at reception

Meanwhile, from a farmhouse near the mental asylum Chris Innes had a chuckle to himself as he aimed his sniper rifle between the remaining unfortunate Gretna players, Alex Rae, Dave Farrell, Ian McCall, Insight and Mr Roberts, Innes only had one bullet however so he now had a decision to make.

With indecision paining him so - he turned the rifle on himself.

Unbelievabley,he missed

Instead taking out his conniving agent, whose medical treatment was subject to bids from several unnamed hospitals.

Insight heard the bang along with the rest of the group and with perhaps paranoia kicking in he blamed Mr Roberts eh urrr Miles Brookson he wasn't quite sure now!

The mental hospital receptionist was rather pissed off and demanded that Chris Innes paid for the damage. Being skint after being made redunadant, he legged it.

he died

Back at the loony bin,everyone was welcomed by Dr. Rowan Alexander

Who was sharing his padded cell with "Emperor Napoleon III" and Dundee's accountant.

Suddenly there was the sound of gobbledegook ,it was Ludo*1 who had just be brought in on account of suffering a breakdown caused by pure boredom and a rare disease called " no use punctuation syndrome

Meanwhile, back at Ian McCall's house, knocks on teh windown quickly escalated to rapid knocking on his door - terrified of these delinquants playing chapdoor run at his expense, he set out to find them to shit in their shoes, only to inadvertently slip on some cow manure on his garden path, going head first into the barn at the bottom of his street.

Chris Innes returned this time with two bullets in a Shotgun, first he shot Ludo*1 dead on the spot then turned to the rest of Scooby Doo and his gang, woops I mean the First Division gang


Edit to add: I'll delete the Ric post as it has nothing to do with our plot line

Mr Roberts found all this sexualy arousing. He signed on to the pie and bovril and posted in a pointless thread

By this point,Iron Chickens Championship bus had be re sprayed in psychedelic colours and had beeen re-named " The Mystery Machine"...

Dedicated to Dunfries Tv programme Scobbie doo

When Roberts saw "The Mystery Machine" he called out " The only mystery here is why Dundee never went into administration when I said they would...

Insight clearly annoyed at Mr Roberts continuos mentioning of Dundee struck out at Mr Roberts, just before Iron Chicken pulled the leaver on his bus and the whole gang appeared at a different location.

Rumour has it the different location was Dens Park

Whats that smell said Rae,has someone farted or have we just arrived at Cappielow???

Cappielow said a man, your at Mcdiarmid.

'No' said the ghost of Jim Morton 'us farmers had to open the slurry tanks'

This was because they needed a delivery for broadwood,though christ knows why as every other Saturday theres an abundance of shit sent onto the park

'now thats not nice' said shaun the sheep who was standing next to the ghost of jim morton

Angelo Massone who was in the middle of one of the tattie fields beside McDiarmid, realised that he could see into the stadium he spotted that Alex Rae was nude a smile sprung onto Massone's face.

"Where's my camera!?" He exclaimed.

Ah said Angelo I can get a compromising picture of this signor and blackmail him into giving us back Colin McMenanmin who has always been a Livi fan and is desperate to get back to that brilliant Almondvale match day atmosphere.

PS them that don't know grammar are getting away with more than one sentence.

They all recieved a text message from Davie Hay inviting them to his boat.

That'll be me I just get ideas and I have to add them

Angelo Massone whispered to Chris Innes, "Kill them all and I will give you a huge ontract worth 400 magic beans a week, if you want a hint get them all onto this boat trip NOW!!!"

But Chris Innes remembered the dying words of his conniving agent, who said...

"Snickers - Get Some Nuts! " As he gnashed into a final nutilicious chocolate bar.

The fact that the agent had a peanut allergy served to hasten his death: Hooray!