mine personally has to be when st johnstone put the cardboard cut outs of fans to make there stands look full fooking brilliant hahahahaha

Chris McGroatay being tackled on the wing by a bag on the pitch when we were 7-1 down. If I hadn;t laughed i'd have cried.

Dundee fans 1 way obbession with St Johnstone


Fuckin Hillarious!

The St Johnstone penalty fiasco at Almondvale.

Last season, Alan Main giving the dees fans in the Derry the V sign. Then 2 minutes later, conceded a 3rd goal which turned to be the winner.

Laugh?....God, I nearly pished myself!

Nearly but not quite,these carboard cut outs were bought by the fans,each cut out had their sponsors name stamped on it,then displayed in that otherwise empty stand,sad i know,but not really a bad idea,generating some cash from and empty stand,theres been worse ideas.

I would probably say that seeing the demise of Gretna rates up there with what made me chuckle though,maybe not the funniest thing but it certainly made me smile.

Oh im not still bitter

Gretna going to the wall.

Charlie Miller getting called a fat b*****d by a bunch of ten year olds at EEP after getting booked, including one invidual who ran down about twenty steps right up to him giving it "SUUUUMOOOO!".
Then watching Miller get sent off a minute later.

Second favourite was the return of Stillie who came towards the home end thinking we were applauding him and starting to applaud back only to see the entire home end turn on him.

game against East Fife 3 seasons ago (maybe) when we sang "fat john parrot, you're just a fat john parrot" at a rotound JP lookalike steward.

game against cowdenbeath last season when a "chuckle brother" acted as a ball-boy, to chants of "to me, to you"

cup game against dunfermline when we scored twice in the dying seconds to win 4-3 whit a hoot

I also starting laughing at that game too, turned to my Dad and said "ah well at least we got a repla... oh for f**k sake"

A very frustrated fan near me shouting "Jist put the baw anywhere" Followed seconds later by "Naw, no there".

Had a laugh at the normally irritating Livi band a few seasons ago, when the stretcher-bearers came running on to the pitch to tend to an injured player, and the bloke with the trumpet started giving it "meee-maw-meee-maw-meee-maw".

I only saw it on telly, but the Les Mottram 'goal' that never was pantomime at Firhill. Thistle v United. Defender even picks up the ball and hands it to the goalie, play on says Les, you know the one....

Dundee fans and their obsession with Mr Roberts.

Just remembered....

Dundee v Killie match, just before the 2nd half kick players lining up. Ally McCoist walking towards the derry at the half way line beside another Killie player (may have been Gary holt not sure).

Dundee fans started shouting "You fat basterd, You fat basterd!" McCoist turned to the other player and pointed out to him that we were shouting about him and not McCoist!

Clyde Vs St Mirren at the end of the 2001/02 season. A less than lean looking Mark Yardley had only been on the pitch about 5 minutes and got injured/tired/hungry. On came the first aiders with the stretcher but, unfortunately for Mark, they could only contain his weight on the stretcher for about 4 seconds before dropping him. Two more first aiders had to come on to share the load and help carry poor Mark back off the pitch. Even with the extra man power the first aiders were struggling to cope, grimacing more than the injured Mr Yardley....

When we beat Dundee 7-2 on new years day, Chic Charnley got a red card for hitting his own player (can't remember who it was, big defender). One of the funniest things I have ever seen. Idiot.

Two items

1. Watching a first division match a few years back and Mark Yardley came on as a sub. He was so heavy his shorts were almost bursting at the seams. Fans laughed as he 'raced' into position. About a minute later he landed awkwardly as he jumped for a header, and lay prone on the ground. Some guy behind shouted ' just treat him like a roundabout' as players tried to continue playing around him.

2. Travelling to Zagreb a few years back via Germany, and an 11 hour train journey from Munich. Many beers and 12 hours later, the game starts, my mate runs downstairs for a piss, and Durie? scores for Scotland whilst he is away. Yuogoslavia then scroe three and we have the same horrible journey back again overnight. Summed him up to be honest

Driving home from Huntly with no windscreen


though it wasnt very funny at the time

1. Walking up to New Douglas Park for a game in January 2007 I was too busy talking to one of my mates from my supporters club and I walked straight into a big lamp post.

2. The Leigh Griffiths shout at Almondvale last season.

3. BBC Radio Scotland saying that Dave Mackay never misses a penalty...before he fluffed it over the bar in our penalties victory over Livi in the cup.

The Paisley Panda bringing a 4ft Magic Tree to the away stand before a Renfrewshire Derby in 1999.

Oh how we laughed as 10 men Morton won 5-1!!

Our game against Dundee in January had several funny moments - Dougie Imrie throwing away Gary McKenzies boot, Dundee's assistant manager jumping on Gary Bollan in the technical area in an attempt to get the ball off him, with both getting sent to the stand along with Dougie Bell, leaving Peter Latchford and our physio to "manage" the team for the rest of the game and Alex Rae standing in the first row of seats behind the Dundee dugout as he already had a ban, was told to sit down by a steward after a Clyde fan had reported him for blocking his view.

Ex-Livi keeper Colin Stewart sprinting up the pitch for a corner with 15 minutes to go was another.

The Mark Yardley incident was also funny, as were the Partick Thistle fans who believed they could remain unbeaten for the whole of the 2004-05 campaign.

That must've been all the sweeter considering (as DAFC says) had i been a Dunfermline fan, i would've been laughing when McPhee's 'equaliser' was disallowed.

Everyone giving pelters to Andy Goram in a very windy game when the ball started rolling around someone shouted "STICK YOU DICK UNDER IT!" which he heard and had a wee chuckle. Same game I think a Stephen's bakery bag blew infront of him and he picked it up to check if there was any goodies inside, he got a round of a plause.


Stewart Petries Testamonial I think it was....maybe....and Andy Rhodes came back to play in goal for one of the teams and about 20 minutes in he starts sprinting up the park for a corner at the other end. Then sprints back when the chance has gone but decides to have a wee lie down because he's about burst a lung. He was a good laugh.

At a game against berwick Rangers last season, I was standing outside selling the programs, and two Berwick players went walking past in the club tracksuits, aboviously dropped from the game as it was about 2.40 at this point, a couple of young kids (9/10 year olds) went up to them and asked if they were Berwick players, the two players looked quite chuffed to be asked and of course responded with a very polite yes.

To which the kids answered, you must be shite if you can't get a game for them.... the two players looked rather embarrased as they carried on their way

Don't know if it's what you're looking for but I laughed with sheer joy when McCann's 84 yarder went in.

Brian Wake scoring a double.

Here's to greater hilarity from the big man this season.

1. Playing in the Premier in 96 against Rangers singing to Gazza "You'll maybe beat your wife but you'll never beat Shaun Dennis".

2. Wasn't there but a mate told me about the time the Falkirk PA system played the banjo music from Deliverance when reading out the Dunfermline team. As a fellow Fifer I should have been insulted but it really is pretty funny.

3. Standing in a queue to get into That Bar in Perth (no I don't know why either) on the night of a Scotland game. Darren Jackson walked past and I shouted "Haw Darren how come you're no in the Scotland team?" and just as he was about to say something "Is it cos you're pish?". Even he laughed.

Andy Lawrie,in one of his first games for Saints.Goes to take a throw in, takes three steps back(1 step to many) and goes arse for tit over an advertising board,right in front of the east stand.Then jumps straight back up and tries to pretend nobody saw it....

oh yes that was a good one, another one was when the advertising blew over and all the small ball boys trying desperately to lift it back another funny moment i rember was a few years back when stuart McCluskey was on the right and a high ball came in with some other saints player 2 foot in front of him. the other player decided to duck out of the header and suddenly McCluskey shouts at the top of his voice "OH F***!!!!!" and has to diving header it away. I know it isnt really that funny and a bit imature but at the time we were pssing ourselves.

That was horrible. I would have suffering even more if I'd just washed my dad's car, he would have taken me to that game

At Brechin the season before last, the referee made a shocking decision against us and this guy in the row in front just along from me got up in a rage and was about to shout a barrel-load of abuse at the referee, he jumped up and went "fucking...." but just as he shouted that, he must've forgot what else he was gonna shout and he shouted "fucking..... BOOOOOO!".

You had to be there I suppose!!

One game last season the ball game flying into the Derry and one of our fans jumped up and headered it to Kev McDonald

Mock the week

Morton's football that depressing he has to take it from tv

O no, we won both games en route to a title.
Seen any of them recently?

Will do soon though (Hopefully!)

that was class

Morton in the title winning season

when we beat Morton 2-0 in the last day to keep them down Eugene Rose was given a pie to hold by my mate as he went to the toilet, 5 seconds later a steak pie was all over one of the Morton players as he went to hit a corner

and again Eugene was wearing a t shirt saying "what's the odds on airdrie winning the league john" folding it up, then trying to get getting john masaino to sign it before showing him what the shirt said, he was gutted!

and again the same game when we were chucking crumpled up football coupons at the players

mines has to be when dundee were playing dundee united and paul jarvie let a john sutton header go through his legs..

dundee united fans went silent as soon as it hit the net it was fuking hilliarious

The same Paul Jarvie who let a harmless punt from the half way line by Barry Ferguson go through his legs to present Buffel a tap in and deny us a victory at Ibrox. p***k.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Aug5cRwdahA

Blllllllunder by Jarvie!

Anyway one of the funniest things I seen watching Ross County was in Graeme Roberts first game in charge od Clyde at Victoria Park. We were winning and the ball went out for a throw, however Roberts thought it would be a good idea to trap the ball instead of catching it. He stood on the ball and went arse over tit landing in a crumpled heap.

I was so drunk at Dingwall a couple of years ago, I left the game. Iwas complaining to the bus driver that "they b*****ds must have went to the pub and left me," The driver kindly explained it was only half time. So I decided to go back in. I lied to the steward about having left to take some other drunk back to the bus. The fool let me in and said something like " up there on the left, that'll be you in" I proceeded straight up the tunnel in to the dug outs. I mumbled a few excuse me/sorrys as I staggered through the Airdrie management team. Got to the gate and pushed/pulled it to get in to the stand, neither seemed to work (at the time) So I had to "climb" the three foot high fence to get back in. But I don't think anybody noticed.

Cup game at Dunfermline. The Tannoy test was:

"Taxi for Campbell............Dick!"

That was superb actually. I liked how he took it in good humour almost, performing a bow after he had got himself up.

About that "Fuckin'... boo" patter; I'd genuinely witnessed supporters doing that prior to Frankie Boyle's impression on TV etc.

East Fife supporter Vs. Queens Park two seasons back at Hampden & an Auchinleck supporter at the EK tournament. There wasn't the gap however, simply "Fuckin' Booo!"

I remember at that same EK Tournament actually, we were awarded a penalty Vs. Auchinleck and it was a stonewall by the way. The player who had committed the foul got up off the ground instantly and confronted the referee; I could hear the duologue very well being only a few yards away. The player put on the single most patronising voice you could possibly imagine and with crystal pronunciation of his words, (fake-politely) asked "Excuse me... excuse me... why have you given a penalty? Why have you given a penalty?" The referee turned to face him and laughed hysterically in his face.

It wasn't funny at the time, but Dusan Bestvina's OG in the play-off against Alloa was pretty spectacular.

I also remember a game against Falkirk that was fairly important (may have been the classic 4-2 comeback) and Falkirk were awarded a free kick in the dying seconds, Bryn Halliwell however jumped up in the air and started celebrating, only to realise the game wasn't over. Falkirk took their free kick it came to nothing and Bryn repeated his wee routine.

Also up at Dingwall the Clyde fans had been giving the referee absolute pelters for some reason, to the degree that a steward asked them to tone down hte language at half-time. When the officials arrived for the 2nd half... "ahem, BOUNDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I seem to remember him doing that against St Johnstone in 2004. We won 1-0 and Sheridan scored. Is that what youre thinking of or did he do it twice lol?

Those were the fuckin days those two eh . We were quite pished at that Queens Park game which made it all the funnier. We also went fuckin mental when Damino Agostini nodded in a late equaliser lol.

comming home from firhill after the game were airdrie won 1-0 with harty being the scorer
me and my mate idioticly took a wrong turn and ended up in the middle of god knows were trying to find a way back to glasgow city centre , after a while i reckoned we had gone to far to turn back and the further we went the more 3rd worldly the place was starting to look , we eventully found an underground station , when i got home to coatbridge i acctully looked around and realised compared to the places we had just seen it really isn't that bad afterall


airdrie winning 7-0 against dundee was also quite a laugh more to the point the dundee fans celebrating everytime airdrie had scored


one of the airdrie fans taking a penelty into brian mcphee during the warm up against brechin in the play offs 2 seasons ago and he fluffed it right over the bar

not quite sure who it was but I think it was snowy Morrisson who went to take a corner and booted the flag instead of the ball.

Any of Dyron Dahl's missed sitters over the past two seasons have been enjoyable too.