The thread for stories of Simmons incredible shiteness and personal feelings towards this waste of wages. Perhaps some tearful goodbye messages from Pars fans and their plans of abuse for the big arse on saturday. I'll start us off with this quote from the former jambo:

'Midfielder Stephen Simmons has rejected a new deal with the Pars because he believes he is good enough to return to the SPL. East End Park manager Jim McIntyre wanted to keep Simmons for a First Division promotion push next season but the youngster turned down the chance to stay. Simmons said: ' I felt i was getting into a bit of a routine at Dunfermline and I'm looking for a fresh start (R.Soul)

Well, the young man said it himself, the SPL bekons!

He really is one deluded waste of oxygen. If theres any justice in the world he'll be joining Rosyth Rec and working in his local bakers.

Arsehole.

he really isnt worth wasting a thread on.


burchill will end up at a better club than us, but if simmons does, i will be fuckin gobsmacked.

The only spl team he'll be near is Gretna. Hopefully he moves house up there and everything, and then the club dies and Simmons becomes bankrupt.

It's plausible...

In addidtion to my first statements, is there actually anyone on this board (on the planet in fact) who rates Simmons as a footballer?

I think he's a good player When he can be arsed which is almost 0% of the time. However, when he does play well he can be a very effective player.

The majority of the time though, he is a waste of space.

Footballing ability aside, he's a handsome looking lad isn't he?

expect gus to be in telephone contact within days

Simmons in the SPL!!! ...Fat Basher you took Hamilton so don't be surprised if your manager signs Simmons aswell!

The guy is a w**ker and i wish good luck to whichever fans have the punishment of watching him attempting to play football next season.

Good riddance.

Ahahhaah. Simmons!!

I'm currently finding it hard to type as upon hearing this awful news I have slit my wrists. Sadly I also got the tendons so I can hardly use my wrists and thus my fingers. This has taken me nearly half an hour to write. I'm nearly dead. But then again, without Simmons at East End, I would rather be dead.

I think some of the abuse is way ott...i prefer him to Kevin Harper anyway.

Simmons is a cock!!

Sorry, I'm wrong as a cock is of use in a lot of circumstances.

He is a big stinking, runny, steaming pile of shit!. SPL??? the guy must have been on Mushrooms at the time of the interview, he looks a right chav junkie b*****d so thats probably not far from the truth.

PS. I love Stephen Simmons.

Good riddance.

You do realise that now you have said all this he is going to end up at another 1st div club and have a great season.

No, it's really not



Yes.

Simmons.

Get the f**k out of my fucking club you absolute waste of oxygen, space and human organs.

You sir, are a complete c**t. Saturday is a great day for Dunfermline Athletic, as it's the last day you will ever be allowed to wear a Dunfermline top and "grace" us with your presence at East End Park. No words of abuse that you receive at the game will ever properly sum up my feelings about your footballing ability and attitude since playing for us.

Now get out.
Cheerio.

And breathe....

Yes it really is.
People wishing death on a guy because he isn't the most talented guy at football.
Well i tell you what mr revolvinduck how about you manager to get a pro contract at football go out and play. And then continue to play even when you have got all the crap he has gooten this season.

Death is too good for Stephen Simmons.

No-one wishes death to him. Well not publicly, yet.

And it's not about whether people on this can play football or not. It's about fans paying £20+ every week to watch people like Simmons earn what £800-£1000 a week and not trying a feckin jot 9 games out of 10. I also accept however that managers have to accept responsibility for playing him, and McIntyre needs to get his head checked for offering a contract to him. (unless he was offering a bag of nuts and a sherbert fountain per appearance.)

Professional footballers need to accept that when they don't play well, then they will get abuse. However players who at least look like they are trying will get support. See Mr Tam McManus esq who had some kind of diplomatic immunity from a good part of the support despite running around like a headless chicken.

His antics at EEP last season were enough to make me despise the arsehole.

Driving a rusted nail through his bawsack and driving it up till his lungs rip may be a slightly excessive reaction, but I think a spell in Division 2 is in order for him... possibly with Clyde?

I believe you meant you want me to manage to get a pro-contract. But I am not a footballer. I am not being paid over £1000 per week to play football. I would quite happily play for Dunfermline for nothing. Zero. So when people like Simmons get paid for doing it and don't even pretend to care, then I get pretty angry. And no, I don't want him to die, but I do wish he had to go and do a supermarket job.

And btw, even if I had gooten abuse all season, I would still try my best. I may be utter, utter pish and 100x times worse than Simmons, but at least I would give 100%

He is a local Hamilton guy.Hope to fcuk Reid isn't planning to sign him.

Better to give the James gang 1k a week rather than big-headed plodders.

What does it say about Mcintyre's judgement since he wanted to keep him ???

That's the most worrying thing.


I've no great liking for Simmons, although at times the criticism he has taken has not always been merited. In fairness to him, barring last week at Morton he's looked one of our better players for the last two months. He does sometimes show what a good player he can be, but that just makes it even more frustrating that more often than that he simply looks like he can't be arsed. His attitude is dreadful, and although he's certainly not alone in that this year (McManus, Glass and Harper have all been terrible on that front as well) he's certainly a player I'm happy to see leaving.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, goodbye