SimonLichtie Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 What was the Arbroath fans name?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shengus Khan Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 What was the Arbroath fans name?! I'm not saying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 That was clearly you. :lol: :lol: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 I used to also work with this character:Link1 Link2 I love how in the second one he refers to himself as "The Adds" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanetti Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 He also had the worst personal hygiene I've been exposed to. He stank of filth - sometimes it was like shit, sometimes like piss, sometimes musty. He didn't wash his clothes properly and once insisted that the brown mark on his white shirt was a design (he emailed this to our team of 20 odd people). He just reeked, it was indesribably awful, boke inducing. He smelled like the girls in FF's favourite Nightshift video. He had weird greasy hair an dyellow teeth. No surprise really, then, that he advertises himself in that link as looking for 'filthy fun'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimonLichtie Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 I'm not saying PM me telling me! Im intrigued! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaltyTON Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 PM me telling me!Im intrigued! He told me the name was Reynolds, but wouldn't divulge the first name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 Had an old team manager who was a poofy, arse licking c**t. He was a total knobber. When he first took over our team he seemed quite sound but we sooned learned what an utter shitehouse he was. He rimmed upper management rotten, I mean really lubricated their bumholes, so much so that I imagine none them ever again would have trouble getting a crap out due to the sheer lack of friction in the poo runway area. Total fanny. And when I was in another team, he once walked past me at night and i was (gasp!) TEXTING! He told on me to my current team manager. Worse, he actually used his mobile to call her AT HOME immediately after he left the building. Tosspot! Even my then team leader thought he was a p***k! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted October 18, 2007 Share Posted October 18, 2007 The tale about the guy who was an alcoholic actually had me crying with laughter. GLOVES! Brilliant Me too. I'm just glad this................ ME: "So coming to the pub tonight James?"James: "I think so, should be good..." Neil (interjecting): "Doo be doo, you guys going to the pub?" Us (awkwardly): "Er, yes..." Neil (face lighting up like a dementd Chirstmas tree: "Koneeeeeeecheewaaaaaaa!" ...........wasnt posted at the same time as I'd likely have pissed myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 "Boy Wonder" came out with another beaut of a comment yesterday. "Gail Porter pure deserved everything she got ken" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted October 19, 2007 Author Share Posted October 19, 2007 "Boy Wonder" came out with another beaut of a comment yesterday."Gail Porter pure deserved everything she got ken" Isn't she a collector of Nazi memorabilia or something? Anyway, whatever. Buuuuuuurn the witch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted October 19, 2007 Share Posted October 19, 2007 I worked with numerous numpties over the piece, a factory i worked in had a few, the supervisors used to go mental if you didn't have a hair net on, then at the end of one shift one of them was marching up and down the factory floor with no hair net on i asked her about the inconsistency when she mumbled something i just said "you don't have a fuckin clue do you?". I have since learned to keep my mouth shut! Another factory i worked had a place in Glasgow and the Workers used to come up to our place when they were quiet, one guy was class. Example; Whats up with you Derek? looking a bit down; Derek- it's mah missis she's no geein me mah hole; she's only had the bairn less than a week ago ye daft b*****d!!!!! Then had to explain about healing time and such things. My favorite was when he asked me what my Glasgow team was, i replied with "what's your Angus team" He said "da hae een" then stood waiting for me to tell him what my Glasgow team was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Boy Wonder has come out with the following gem when talking to us in the office: "Aye ken I was out fir a drink like, and I seen this boy who looked purte shifty ken? Total dodgy an that an I reckon he was dealing drugs an that." "How do you know this?" "Aye well, ken he was looking dodgy? He wis also pure black so he must've been a dealer ken?" He has the day off today. He left a note on everyones desk saying "If my girlfriend calls tell her I am outside having a fag and am getting her a surprise later on that day" Truth is that he is actually meeting some girl from Edinburgh he meet on a rave forum and shagging her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted October 31, 2007 Author Share Posted October 31, 2007 "Aye ken I was out fir a drink like, and I seen this boy who looked purte shifty ken? Total dodgy an that an I reckon he was dealing drugs an that.""How do you know this?" "Aye well, ken he was looking dodgy? He wis also pure black so he must've been a dealer ken?" Flawless logic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Flawless logic. He is a genius. We might have believed his little note/story thing had he not actually admitted to one of the girls why he really was having the day off. "Aye I'm gooing to be doing some bird from Edinburgh the morra" "Really?" "Erm, no. I'm kidding honest" Cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 I used to work as a kitchen porter (or KP for short) in a piano bar in Belfast. It was very busy at the weekend, so we had 3 KPs on a Fri and Sat night. KP is also a common Irish abbreviation for Kevin Patrick. One chap, who wasn't the brightest spark, was convinced that all 3 kitchen porters were called Kevin-Patrick, and he couldn't get over the coincidence. I even ran into him a couple of years later, and he still called me KP. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted October 31, 2007 Author Share Posted October 31, 2007 He is a genius. We might have believed his little note/story thing had he not actually admitted to one of the girls why he really was having the day off."Aye I'm gooing to be doing some bird from Edinburgh the morra" "Really?" "Erm, no. I'm kidding honest" Cunt. He sounds extraordinarily similar to the one I worked with. There must be some sort of gene sewer deep in the bowels of the earth that contains the DNA samples that were too stupid and ignorant even to be included in Rangers fans of the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiG Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 They both sound very neddish so I would imagine that is the common denominator between the two cretins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted October 31, 2007 Author Share Posted October 31, 2007 They both sound very neddish so I would imagine that is the common denominator between the two cretins. Mine was a ned and a Rangers supporter but: "No fur the fitba', ahm jist a proud Proddy!" He wore 1970's Rangers top to work one day that smelled like he last washed it in the 70's. He took it off (as was his wont when any woman entered the workplace) so when he wasn't looking I spat on it. Not the most mature thing, but you'll take the small victories where you can with these 'wastes of carbon atoms' (as Swampy delightfully puts it ) It used to amaze me how these cretins could have a seemingly endless supply of women. Billy had a new specimen almost weekly, freshly bruised with the smell of cheap perfume and despair clinging to her like an unwashed 70's Rangers top. As the great Mr. Hicks puts it when talking about rednecks on COPS: "That cracker is balls deep in that whore every damn night and I haven't got laid this year! It just isn't fair!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BerwickMad Posted October 31, 2007 Share Posted October 31, 2007 Ive got to work with some doylem that never stops working, even when theres nowt to do. Its my job to go in and open up at half 7, but he has started to come in at that time too. I usually just open up and spend 20 mins reading the paper until everyone else starts, but this p***k comes in now and starts doing jobs. He will start phoning round companies for prices on things, and at half 7 they are never open. He gets all worried and annoyed by this. He can't stand or sit still. He doesnt even stop for his dinner, just keeps working and asks me questions while im sitting there eating. Im sure he knocks things over just so he can pick them up again. Any slight problem with a grinder or a drill and he will take it all apart and put it back together again. He also gets into arguements with the engineers in the shop about a missing nut or bolt that hasnt been accounted for. He will spend about 2 hours looking for which job 5 nuts have been booked out on. Waste of time and wages. He is also called Billy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.