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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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3 hours ago, Gaz FFC said:

Wife has a new habit of texting me at work with shite like "cheer me up"

Why the f**k am I meant to do that whilst trying to do my own job?

No it wouldn't be funny to say send her a pic of yer penis.

That would just depress her.

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On 07/01/2018 at 12:39, Melanius Mullarkey said:

The straight bits go round the ootside, m8

HTH

Anyway, the missus has gone all huffy because the cat just brought in a dead robin and she reckons the robin (one of about 10 knocking about) is the reincarnation of her mum. Or Granny depending on what day it is.

 

Ask her if she thinks its her mum next time you see a robin peck another robin to death, or pecking bits of food out of a dog shite.

 

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10 hours ago, Myko said:

Missus will text me at work 4/5 times a day on WhatsApp.

I'll open/read the text then reply accordingly at first available opportunity.

However, she'll say : ''The two blue ticks came up. Why you ignoring me ?'' if I don't respond to said message within 3 or 4 mins.

Then she'll say something like "Oh, is work more important than me I take it..... !?''

Jesus, man.

Yes darling, I love spreadsheets and replacing toner cartridges far more than you ffs.

possessive-girlfriend-meme-59ddaf54368da

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1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

It's for women who are mental.

My mum's best mate became a Christian nutjob in her old age and now believes every feather is her late husband visiting. My mum tries reasoning with her that her house is full of feather cushions, pillows, duvets etc but she won't listen. 

The missus also has to say hello to magpies. Former Rangers and Pars "midfielder" Ian Ferguson was also deferential to magpies, much to the bafflement of his teammates. 

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3 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

My mum's best mate became a Christian nutjob in her old age and now believes every feather is her late husband visiting. My mum tries reasoning with her that her house is full of feather cushions, pillows, duvets etc but she won't listen. 

The missus also has to say hello to magpies. Former Rangers and Pars "midfielder" Ian Ferguson was also deferential to magpies, much to the bafflement of his teammates. 

You're supposed to salute them whilst saying good morning to them. And address them as Mr.  My nutjob ex's even bigger nutjob of a mother used to do that all the time. One time she did it the postman was walking up her drive and saluted back at her with a confused look on his face. 

Utter crackpot.

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19 hours ago, Myko said:

Missus will text me at work 4/5 times a day on WhatsApp.

I'll open/read the text then reply accordingly at first available opportunity.

However, she'll say : ''The two blue ticks came up. Why you ignoring me ?'' if I don't respond to said message within 3 or 4 mins.

Then she'll say something like "Oh, is work more important than me I take it..... !?''

Jesus, man.

Yes darling, I love spreadsheets and replacing toner cartridges far more than you ffs.

Does that mean she's pregnant? Hardly surprising she's upset if you ignore that.

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My mum's best mate became a Christian nutjob in her old age and now believes every feather is her late husband visiting. My mum tries reasoning with her that her house is full of feather cushions, pillows, duvets etc but she won't listen. 
The missus also has to say hello to magpies. Former Rangers and Pars "midfielder" Ian Ferguson was also deferential to magpies, much to the bafflement of his teammates. 

You're supposed to salute them whilst saying good morning to them. And address them as Mr.  My nutjob ex's even bigger nutjob of a mother used to do that all the time. One time she did it the postman was walking up her drive and saluted back at her with a confused look on his face. 
Utter crackpot.

“Hello Mr Magpie, how are you and how’s your wife?” I was always told to say if you see a line magpie. Not really sure why and I still think it when I see one.
I haven’t saluted any magpies or postman though.
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