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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

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Bairnardo    5,625

Get a grater. Grated cheese tastes better and she's less likely to get it wrong (without learning her fucking lesson).


No

A cheese slicer is what you need if you're cutting cheese for toast or sandwiches.


No.

All of you stop trying to fix the unfixable. Me and Rugster have combined to offer him sound advice. Starve her, boot her in the pie then divorce her. Stop filling his head with nonsense.

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Tony Ferrino    203
3 hours ago, Stellaboz said:

Frozen chips are never ready as per instructions. Always need more time and a higher temperature.

I agree. But then again I have got a shit oven.

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Jmothecat2    439

I would cut the face of the cheese if I was using a cheese plane, but if using a cheese wire or knife then the edge, usually the long edge.

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whiskychimp    416

She is saying you would all do it like her if you had the dexterity. Here is her quote" if they weren't all so fucking stupid , and likely cut off their fingers they wouldn't do it wrong. "

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Bairnardo    5,625
I would cut the face of the cheese if I was using a cheese plane, but if using a cheese wire or knife then the edge, usually the long edge.


Noooooooo

f**k sake.

There are 3 possible sizes of rectangle you can have when cutting cheese. You should end up with the smallest one. If not, you are OFTW

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whiskychimp    416
2 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said:

I would cut the face of the cheese if I was using a cheese plane, but if using a cheese wire or knife then the edge, usually the long edge.

You need to stay out the Betterware catalogue.

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NorthernJambo    1,417
She is saying you would all do it like her if you had the dexterity. Here is her quote" if they weren't all so fucking stupid , and likely cut off their fingers they wouldn't do it wrong. "

You kick her in the pie or I'm kicking you in the pie. NOW!

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I would cut the face of the cheese if I was using a cheese plane, but if using a cheese wire or knife then the edge, usually the long edge.


Either you've managed to buy a far bigger cheese plane than mine or you buy smaller blocks of cheese

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RR #1    192
4 minutes ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

 


Either you've managed to buy a far bigger cheese plane than mine or you buy smaller blocks of cheese

 

Yours must be too wee.  Everyone I've owned has been wider than a standard block of cheese.

Never knew it was even called a cheese plane. I've always just called it a slicer. 

 

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Jmothecat2    439


Either you've managed to buy a far bigger cheese plane than mine or you buy smaller blocks of cheese


I have a large carpenter cheese plane that I got as a gift from someone who had visited Norway. I worked as a cheesemonger at the time so ended up getting a lot of cheese related gifts for birthdays and Christmases etc. Got all sorts of useless things but that cheese plane is pretty fantastic. I've also got a Girolle which I've used precisely once, which was to cut some Tete de Moine that I bought for the sole purpose of actually using the Girolle.

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30 minutes ago, whiskychimp said:

She is saying you would all do it like her if you had the dexterity. Here is her quote" if they weren't all so fucking stupid , and likely cut off their fingers they wouldn't do it wrong. "

She's smarter than she looks tbf.

Tell her that from the P&B community.

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GordonD    1,448
36 minutes ago, Jmothecat2 said:

I worked as a cheesemonger at the time

Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd read on P&B.

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The_Kincardine    3,307
1 hour ago, whiskychimp said:

My missus slices the cheese down the large cross section. I slice it the other way. Every time she eats some my slices get thinner. 

This sort of thing always brings out the worst in P&B. Who is correct?

You are both wrong.  If you're sharing a decent piece of cheese, some fruit, biscuits and a half bottle of port then you take it in turns to cut the cheese on the diagonal.

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Shandon Par    6,450
1 hour ago, whiskychimp said:

She is saying you would all do it like her if you had the dexterity. Here is her quote" if they weren't all so fucking stupid , and likely cut off their fingers they wouldn't do it wrong. "

What is she planning to do with these large cheese rectangles? Tile the fucking floor? 

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welshbairn    5,440
I would cut the face of the cheese if I was using a cheese plane, but if using a cheese wire or knife then the edge, usually the long edge.

This is right, surely. Anything else is madness.

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hk blues    109

The only problem I have with cheese is making sure all of the silver paper is properly removed.

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whiskychimp    416

After telling her the responses on here she has come back with, " if you buy pre-sliced cheese it doesn't come in rubbish wee bits."

More sinisterly she also says, "I'd better not buy a cheese wire."

Dont know if she's talking death or John Wayne Bobbit.

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Zen Archer    8,602
1 hour ago, whiskychimp said:

After telling her the responses on here she has come back with, " if you buy pre-sliced cheese it doesn't come in rubbish wee bits."

More sinisterly she also says, "I'd better not buy a cheese wire."

Dont know if she's talking death or John Wayne Bobbit.

You do know there is more than one use for a cheese wire?

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