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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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Ive had a rotten fuckin morning. Trying to book a bus to Peterhead for the league opener. All sorts of carry on. It is now cancelled and I look like a fud.

Been there - done that. ;)

It's a fucking horrible place anyway. The social club even has a Rangers plaque above the bar. You're not missing much.

That's me just back from my barbeque in Ayrshire.....

Fire brigades, floods, fights, singstar and a horribly, horribly sober Toma.

Oh, I also lost a shirt in the flood and I was bitten by a hamster.

:angry:

Now, bed......

:lol:

You get a different kind of redneck in Ayrshire......

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You get a different kind of redneck in Ayrshire......

We went along to Tesco to get some cans in and I must have seen at least 10 guys (no exaggeration) walking around in Rangers tops.

One of them in particular looked amazing. See that wee picture of the boy playing the banjo from that film? Basically, he looked like that, but only 30. With a full strip. Socks rolled up. Standing outside Tesco with a dog. Staring right at me........

I was trying to keep a straight face, making sure not to upset the locals, but inside I was roaring with laughter. As I walked directly past him, his eyes followed me and I couldn't hold it in any longer, letting out a "mwaauuu" noise, desperately trying not to collapse laughing.

After that I went to get myself some Buckfast for the night. I was in a Spar when 3 neds came up behind me. A woman who worked there said "excuse me", as she tried to cut through to go back behind the till. The neds said "mihuhuhuh skooz me mihuhuhuhuh"

Again, I had to remain in control.

Again, I didn't.

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Guest Dunc?
McDonalds still havent got in touch with me <_< i put in a job application a couple of weeks ago

Get used to it. I've applied for loads of jobs, must be nearing 50 now, and I've had 3 letters saying "Cheers, but naw." and one phonecall from a wifey telling me that I'd applied for a job which was completely unworkable for me.

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We went along to Tesco to get some cans in and I must have seen at least 10 guys (no exaggeration) walking around in Rangers tops.

One of them in particular looked amazing. See that wee picture of the boy playing the banjo from that film? Basically, he looked like that, but only 30. With a full strip. Socks rolled up. Standing outside Tesco with a dog. Staring right at me........

I was trying to keep a straight face, making sure not to upset the locals, but inside I was roaring with laughter. As I walked directly past him, his eyes followed me and I couldn't hold it in any longer, letting out a "mwaauuu" noise, desperately trying not to collapse laughing.

After that I went to get myself some Buckfast for the night. I was in a Spar when 3 neds came up behind me. A woman who worked there said "excuse me", as she tried to cut through to go back behind the till. The neds said "mihuhuhuh skooz me mihuhuhuhuh"

Again, I had to remain in control.

Again, I didn't.

I bet you I can tell you exactly which little Ayrshire town you were in. ;)

The problem down here is we get the 'weegie offshoot', i.e. the overspill from when the tenements were demolished. They populate Irvine primarily, but also in a good few little villages down the centre of the county, and to the South of Ayr.

Add into that the higher than average percentile of bigots (for example, Lodge No.1 is in Kilwinning) and I would describe some towns as total no-go areas.

But there are nice places too. Honest.....

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Guest Dunc?
What was it?

Supermodel? Pole Dancer? Fluffer?

No, I'd happily do all of those. Possibly not all at once.

It was going door-to-door for a company that major charities outsource their fundraising to. Basically, on Monday your wearing an Amnesty International jumper, and then on Tuesday you're doing exactly the same thing, but for Cancer Research UK.

The two options on the website were either "London" or "Roaming". I assumed that Roaming would be basically working from home, and doing the fundraising in different towns/cities within driving distance, because I'd applied for a few similar jobs doing that.

Turns out it actually means that they phone you up and say "Right, we need you to go to Oxford/Inverness/Cornwall/Newcastle, and stay there for a week in a house with a bunch of povvo students like you, who you've never met before." Which, frankly, I would do if I wasn't at Uni. Oh, and the training is doing the same thing, but for 5 straight weeks, in Ireland.

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I bet you I can tell you exactly which little Ayrshire town you were in. ;)

The problem down here is we get the 'weegie offshoot', i.e. the overspill from when the tenements were demolished. They populate Irvine primarily, but also in a good few little villages down the centre of the county, and to the South of Ayr.

Add into that the higher than average percentile of bigots (for example, Lodge No.1 is in Kilwinning) and I would describe some towns as total no-go areas.

But there are nice places too. Honest.....

Don't get me wrong, the place looked nice, it's just some of the people there that aren't so great!

All in all I did enjoy my trip to Ayr, it's just a shame that it had to end so badly with me going for a pee that started a chain reaction of events that may have actually ended up with people becoming homeless.

I feel quite bad for saying I enjoyed it now....

What was it?

Supermodel? Pole Dancer? Fluffer?

One of Michael Jackson's backing dancers.

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Why is it when you leave home for two weeks and come back home and everything doesn't work? My iTunes spectacularly fucked up and uninstalled itself, and whenever I go on MSN my computer freezes.

Annoying as it means that I'll have to get it fixed, but it's bloody Fair fortnight, so I don't know if it'll be open or not.

Do you have a younger brother or sister who was at home at the time?

If so, there's your answer.

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I bet you I can tell you exactly which little Ayrshire town you were in. ;)

The problem down here is we get the 'weegie offshoot', i.e. the overspill from when the tenements were demolished. They populate Irvine primarily, but also in a good few little villages down the centre of the county, and to the South of Ayr.

Add into that the higher than average percentile of bigots (for example, Lodge No.1 is in Kilwinning) and I would describe some towns as total no-go areas.

But there are nice places too. Honest.....

What are the no-go areas and which are the nice ones?

On Saturdays with no football I sometimes go driving about Ayrshire, I'd be interested to see examples of each.

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What are the no-go areas and which are the nice ones?

On Saturdays with no football I sometimes go driving about Ayrshire, I'd be interested to see examples of each.

Put me on the spot.... :lol:

As a general rule of thumb I'd say the coastline is the way to go. It seems to me the further in from the water you get in Ayrshire the more 'Deliverance' it gets.

For example, Muirkirk is towards the Lanarkshire boundary of Ayrshire, and the combination of those two influences are fairly evident. Also avoid Cumnock, Auchinleck and New Cumnock at all costs. Unpleasant 'urban decay' at it's most ugly. That said, continuing through them (at as brisk a pace as convention allows) and you'll come to Kirkconnell and Sanquar, both of which are pretty nice in a standard 'picturesque village' way. That's possibly something to do with the proximity to Dumfries and Galloway though. I've always found it to be mostly lovely.

Also,if you have time to spare a drive down the A77 to Girvan can provide some spectacular scenery and a couple of nice villages for an ice cream or bag of chips and a wee wander. There are a few laybys that provide excellent photo opps as well.

Hope that's a help, if a little short on detail.

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my grandfather died on thursday by a heart-attack in his sleep. He was on holiday in Maderia, and because of the embassy not doing enough to help(you'd think with the insurance would cover it), we cant get him back into the country until next monday.

I'm really sorry to hear that, I hope it gets resolved soon :(

Ok, most of my friends are now on holiday (with their parents, the poofs), or still on a school trip to Africa, although this bunch are back on Thursday. There is nothing to do. It's a nice night as well, looks like I'll be P&Bing it tonight. Which isn't a bad thing by any means but....it's sunny outside! :(

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I'm really sorry to hear that, I hope it gets resolved soon :(

cheers for that mate. I take solace in the fact he died somewhere where was happy. Never actually been to a funeral before. Dreading it tbh.

Quite annoying being the one who isnt on holiday i have agree. Couldnt afford one this year, but it gives me a chance to save the pennies.

Edited by the jambo-rocker
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