Granny Danger Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 36 minutes ago, Stellaboz said: I love feeding ducks. Swans a little less do. Geese are fine. I like eating duck. Never had swan, can't remember having goose. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 5 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: What's your viewpoint on tits? Not frequent enough, it would appear 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 6 hours ago, Granny Danger said: Cyclist going through a red light at a pedestrian crossing this morning; loads of time to stop. Can cyclists be shot? Let's hope so 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 A similar PTTGOYN is when you go for a shite (toilets at work are just 2 cubicles, no urinals) and sit down ready to read some P&B, then person who sits directly beside me appears about 30 seconds later to go for a pish/shite. You’ve seen me get up and head to the toilet, f**k off and wait 5 mins so we can both shite in peace you utter weirdo. On a similar note. If you have a dump and there is someone in the cubicle next to you. Wait until I've washed my hands and left. Don't come out before then, I don't want to know who just had a shit next to me. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 5 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: On a similar note. If you have a dump and there is someone in the cubicle next to you. Wait until I've washed my hands and left. Don't come out before then, I don't want to know who just had a shit next to me. It all depends if they’ve been grunting and farting, but they usually wait till you’ve left 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 (edited) 7 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said: On a similar note. If you have a dump and there is someone in the cubicle next to you. Wait until I've washed my hands and left. Don't come out before then, I don't want to know who just had a shit next to me. Yeah this etiquette is followed in my work. Although it can be especially awkward if one was to wipe and flush at the same time as the other, then there is a wait to see who leaves their cubicle first. Edited February 19, 2018 by IainMorton 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 c***s who refuse to upgrade their shitty laptop from a 2010 model to a modern desktop (or laptop) meaning that when they say that they'll email me something I need and it doesnt appear in 2 miliseconds, they say, "oh my laptop's just gone down and it will take ages to boot up again, I'll send it on tomorrow.". Pretty sure a there's not a court in the land that would convict me for decapitating the useless fucker. If he's reading this (which I highly doubt), your days are numbered. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajwffc Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 c***s who refuse to upgrade their shitty laptop from a 2010 model to a modern desktop (or laptop) meaning that when they say that they'll email me something I need and it doesnt appear in 2 miliseconds, they say, "oh my laptop's just gone down and it will take ages to boot up again, I'll send it on tomorrow.". Pretty sure a there's not a court in the land that would convict me for decapitating the useless fucker. If he's reading this (which I highly doubt), your days are numbered. Only in you use the laptop to decapitate them 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, ajwffc said: 2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: c***s who refuse to upgrade their shitty laptop from a 2010 model to a modern desktop (or laptop) meaning that when they say that they'll email me something I need and it doesnt appear in 2 miliseconds, they say, "oh my laptop's just gone down and it will take ages to boot up again, I'll send it on tomorrow.". Pretty sure a there's not a court in the land that would convict me for decapitating the useless fucker. If he's reading this (which I highly doubt), your days are numbered. Only in you use the laptop to decapitate them I would but it looks like it weighs about 30kg so it’s a 2-man lift. #safetyfirst 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted February 19, 2018 Share Posted February 19, 2018 2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: c***s who refuse to upgrade their shitty laptop from a 2010 model to a modern desktop (or laptop) meaning that when they say that they'll email me something I need and it doesnt appear in 2 miliseconds, they say, "oh my laptop's just gone down and it will take ages to boot up again, I'll send it on tomorrow.". Pretty sure a there's not a court in the land that would convict me for decapitating the useless fucker. If he's reading this (which I highly doubt), your days are numbered. I could probably get their laptop working decently again for about £50. Either that, or murder them for a tenner (negotiable). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 On 13/02/2018 at 17:08, Unleash The Nade said: Impressionists who when on tv programmes , interviews etc just can’t be themselves and throw in a couple of ramdom impressions probably because they’re boring c***s in reality . McGowan and Culshaw being the main offenders All impressionists are shite. Lowest form of satire going (no, Monet is fine, before anyone cracks wise). On 13/02/2018 at 20:55, NewBornBairn said: f**k you Peggy Scott's, Tatties, corned beef and millions ae ingins isnae stovies. Peggy Scott's is shite anyway. When I started going up to Aberdeen regularly folk in the office were giving it "did you stop at Peggy Scott's?", like it was some sort of f*cking A90 Eldorado. Instead it transpires that it's a tin-roofed pre-fab shitbox, attached to a Spar, filled with moron sales reps and other assorted dregs. I ordered a bacon roll and got bacon with stringy fat inside a floury roll that had the consistency of cotton wool. I didn't even know you got rolls like that in Scotland; I thought they were something only served in hellish English "Caffs", and referred to as baps, or barm cakes, or something equally noxious. 17 hours ago, DA Baracus said: An acceptable practice although not to be encouraged Two points about feeding ducks and swans, etc. 1) Bread isn't very good for them, so unless people have bought stuff specially for them, they are dicks. 2) If someone is feeding animals like ducks at a village pond or in the countryside I have no problem with it. Cities, however, have loads of rats. Many parks have had to put up signs asking folk not to feed the ducks because doing so attracts rats. People ignore these signs and feed the ducks anyway. Then parks get infested with rats, who kill and eat baby ducks. The morons who bring half a loaf of bread to the park are not only littering, they are actively harming the animals they purport to like. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 9 minutes ago, milton75 said: filled with moron sales reps and other assorted dregs. Oi! I resemble that remark! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whiskychimp Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 People who want the teabag touch the water and no more. Wasteful c***s 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 1 hour ago, milton75 said: Two points about feeding ducks and swans, etc. 1) Bread isn't very good for them, so unless people have bought stuff specially for them, they are dicks. 2) If someone is feeding animals like ducks at a village pond or in the countryside I have no problem with it. Cities, however, have loads of rats. Many parks have had to put up signs asking folk not to feed the ducks because doing so attracts rats. People ignore these signs and feed the ducks anyway. Then parks get infested with rats, who kill and eat baby ducks. The morons who bring half a loaf of bread to the park are not only littering, they are actively harming the animals they purport to like. I blame these Millenial Snowflake swans and ducks with their 'wheat allergies' and 'gluton intolerances'....... When I was a kid swans and ducks got given bread and liked it and never a problem, and now there is. Not sure if to blame BREXIT , PC Gone-mad, snowflake wildfowl or Trump.......... but someone is to blame. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 I will continue to throw bread into ponds. By choosing to consume said bread, ducks and other fowl accept any and all risks and acknowledge that there is no wrongdoing on the part of the breadgiver. This is widely known law folks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Bairnardo feeds the birds: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 12 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: I could probably get their laptop working decently again for about £50. Either that, or murder them for a tenner (negotiable). A £9.99 postal order is on its way. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Shandon Par said: Bairnardo feeds the birds: NSFW section for photos of Bairnardo "feeding" yer Mrs.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Mr and Mrs Bairnardo arrive at a swingers party. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Mr and Mrs Bairnardo arrive at a swingers party. Mrs Bs height has never been specified on here thank you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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