Boghead ranter Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Cling Film. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 20 hours ago, welshbairn said: This may be an urban myth but I heard there's a vibrating knob under the button box for blind people to pleasure themselves before crossing. Out of interest I checked this at the traffic lights outside my work last night and there wasn't any and those lights also don't bleep for the visually impaired. Seeing our hospital has geriatric and opthamology wards this is well daft and might explain how that wumming got hit by a motor outside the hospital yesterday. Or she might just have been a fucking idiot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Those pesky loose paving slabs with hidden puddles below them that erupt if you happen to stand on the wrong bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 35 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Those pesky loose paving slabs with hidden puddles below them that erupt if you happen to stand on the wrong bit. Buchanan Street is like Total Wipe Out. I expect a big boxing glove to fire out of the Apple store some day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 The complete absence of signage to Scottish fitba grounds for motorists. Special mention to whichever council is responsible for Coatbridge as despite having driven there 20 plus times I always, always get lost. Probably why I prefer to train it these days... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OFFS DUNDEE!! Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 2 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said: Out of interest I checked this at the traffic lights outside my work last night and there wasn't any and those lights also don't bleep for the visually impaired. Seeing our hospital has geriatric and opthamology wards this is well daft and might explain how that wumming got hit by a motor outside the hospital yesterday. Or she might just have been a fucking idiot. Nope, she was both. Turns out that she thought it would be funny if she pressed the button and crossed before the lights changed. Tbf there was only me in my Bmw on the road at the time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Joe Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 26 minutes ago, OFFS DUNDEE!! said: Nope, she was both. Turns out that she thought it would be funny if she pressed the button and crossed before the lights changed. Tbf there was only me in my Bmw on the road at the time. ^^^^ Ford Fiesta driver... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 8 hours ago, Stellaboz said: Working away at my desk and there's an attractive lass standing just above eye level above my screen. I happen to glance up for a second and look back my screen but she looked my way and I feel she thinks I'm some horrible deviant who's spying on people now. I also go red fairly easily which doesn't help. This is a conundrum that has plagued mankind for centuries. How do you get a decent swatch without getting caught? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OFFS DUNDEE!! Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 13 minutes ago, Angusfifer said: ^^^^ Ford Fiesta driver... I am now. The BMW is having a hastily arranged repair. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 8 hours ago, Stellaboz said: Wid. Voiced by Michelle Pfeiffer. Also wid. I'm off to the MILF and Strumpets of Yore threads. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeAreElgin Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 This is a conundrum that has plagued mankind for centuries. How do you get a decent swatch without getting caught? Sunglasses Not sure how it'd work in an office setting, I guess you could claim to be some sort of eye cripple 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Sunglasses Not sure how it'd work in an office setting, I guess you could claim to be some sort of eye cripple https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXcj6wL-a5-tZCpxWONEaKNkTLpm-oeD1y79KUAWQm73tKNilBqIFuL2A 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 4 hours ago, Cerberus said: This is a conundrum that has plagued mankind for centuries. How do you get a decent swatch without getting caught? Marty Feldman had that sorted. Nothing odd looking about him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 2 hours ago, WeAreElgin said: Sunglasses Not sure how it'd work in an office setting, I guess you could claim to be some sort of eye cripple The wife has a honking great pair of wraparound shades that she wears all the time because she's losing her sight, and sunlight accelerates the process. Quick trip to the ophthalmologist and you could have a licence to perv as you see fit. Surely can't be that hard to fake; I'll ask her for tips. Anyway, a completely unrelated PTTGOYN - people who fall asleep while giving handjobs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 21 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: The wife has a honking great pair of.......... wraparound shades 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Blokes who spit on the street. Dreadful stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 People who spit on the street with absolutely no consideration for people around them. If you must at least try and do it discreetly into the road, preferably if there's a drain nearby. Don't be the sort of tink in Diadora trackie bottoms with studs up the side that dredges something up for about five steps before launching it directly in front of them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10menwent2mow Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 People that take forever at cash machines. Card in. Enter pin. Get mini statement. Glare at mini statement for a minute. Take card out. Enter another card. Enter pin. Take cash out. Then get a fucking receipt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 1 hour ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: Anyway, a completely unrelated PTTGOYN - people who fall asleep while giving handjobs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 My PTTGOYN this morning... having painted the downstairs hall floor before bed and waking up to discover it's still wet. Then having to concoct an elaborate system of stepping on plastic bags, painting over bits I'm having to step on and having to round up all the various crap three people need to get themselves out the door in the morning. All the while with a halfwit cat howling and demanding to try walking on the wet floor. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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