Bert Raccoon Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 4 hours ago, Dee Man said: I always assumed Jaws was a male. Therefore he must have been fingering Jaws' ringpiece, so why would he lose a finger unless Jaws had teeth in his anus as well? In fact, even if Jaws was female and he was fingering her, why would he lose his finger in that situation? I don't think you've thought this through, Bert. You're absolutely correct. I tried to think of a way I could salvage it involving the shark being fingered with one hand while the other hand hangs precariously over it's mouth. Or even perhaps trying to tie it in some way humorously to not the shark, but the shiny toothed henchman of the same name in the James Bond films. But no, it's fucked and needed pointing out. I'm away to sit in a dark room and think about what I've done here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 You're absolutely correct. I tried to think of a way I could salvage it involving the shark being fingered with one hand while the other hand hangs precariously over it's mouth. Or even perhaps trying to tie it in some way humorously to not the shark, but the shiny toothed henchman of the same name in the James Bond films. But no, it's fucked and needed pointing out. I'm away to sit in a dark room and think about what I've done here. Sitting in the dark thinking about fingering a shark? You utter bea.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 6 minutes ago, Swarley said: Sitting in the dark thinking about fingering a shark? You utter bea.... ??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILLIEA Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I don't know! Sure if a shark thought you were fingering it it would turn pretty f*ckin sharpish and you could lose a finger. I believe Swarley is best placed to test this out. They don't go up the Clyde as far as Hamilton 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I don't know! Sure if a shark thought you were fingering it it would turn pretty f*ckin sharpish and you could lose a finger. I believe Swarley is best placed to test this out. They don't go up the Clyde as far as Hamilton 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I go to turn on laptop this morning. Big crack on screen and buttons broken. Son had dropped it whilst trying to watch thomas dvd.. wife 'forgot' to tell me. Bawwwwwws Having to run it via the tv. Not ideal. Best look at new ones 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cille Mhernaig Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 I'm not sure if this deserves a thread of its own or how controversial it might be, but here goes.The school run, parents running their kids to school.Supposed reasons for it; saves time, paedos round every corner, etc, etc.There is NO reason for it, They are just too damn lazy to get up a bit earlier and also learn their kids how to cross a road.School areas infested with Chelsea tractors, etc. Creating chaos and actually making it more dangerous on the roads next to school.The only time I would've got a lift in my school time was if you were ill, suspended or expelled.As for paedo argument, judging by recent events with Westminster, celebrities, church minsters and football coaches. I did well dodging them as I grew up in the 80s when it looks as if it was a much bigger problem and it's an absurd argument to make now. I mean I managed from five to seventeen walking to school and I didn't have to run some sort of paedo gauntlet everyday.Kids should be walking to school if they stay within a 1-1.5 miles. No excuses, might be the only exercise they get that day.What's P&Bs opinion on it?As you can tell I do have a bee in my bonnet about it, and as far as I'm concerned they are c**ts. Don't get me fucking started on this. I stay across the road from a school and it is amazing the amount of whompercunts that think it's perfectly acceptable to1) block our driveway as 'they'll only be 2 minutes'2) park their Chelsea Tractors either side of our driveway meaning that we can't see the oncoming traffic and the only tactic to get out the driveway is to go for it and hope for the best.Also seen eejits picking their kids up and not paying attention when pulling away and nearly wiping other kids out.But apparently it's safer dropping the kids off/picking them up at the school gate and I'm just the pesky homeowner who gets in the way of them dropping their cherubs off so what do I know? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 1 hour ago, Bert Raccoon said: You're absolutely correct. I tried to think of a way I could salvage it involving the shark being fingered with one hand while the other hand hangs precariously over it's mouth. Or even perhaps trying to tie it in some way humorously to not the shark, but the shiny toothed henchman of the same name in the James Bond films. But no, it's fucked and needed pointing out. I'm away to sit in a dark room and think about what I've done here. Try not to let it get you down, I think we've all been guilty of using a poorly thought out shark analogy at one time or another. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILLIEA Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 6 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Watching Saturday Kitchen which I enjoy, but Nigel Slater could be the most irritating man on tv. That voice !!! Tom Kitchen making a starter with raw venison, some herbs and nuts and topped with a raw quail egg. Sometimes I think these c*nts are just talking the piss 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 17 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Watching Saturday Kitchen which I enjoy, but Nigel Slater could be the most irritating man on tv. ^^^^^ bored after knocking one out to Rachel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deej Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 The hungry house advert that's just a shit parody of gogglebox. Just stop it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 Missed a knock on the door at 9:30 and the postie puts a could-not-deliver card through the door saying they came at 10. Didn't even bother ringing the doorbell either. Also, outdoor TV programmes where the presenter makes out that it's really difficult to get somewhere even though they managed to get the TV crew and kit in to film the whole thing. That and how absolutely everything in the world is either amazing, incredible, unbelievable or "Just. Stunning". Everything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 1 minute ago, Bairnardo said: She is fucking amazing. She's on her third big glass of wine before noon, she'll be right up for it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Rider Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 People who talk at gigs when the band is on. I don't mean a couple of lines in between songs but the full blown shouted conversation about Dave in Accounts suitability to be the office fire warden or other such shite. Shut it ya fannies! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Rider Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 8 minutes ago, Bairnardo said: Sorry to hear Dave from accounts beat you to the fire wardens job mate. Better luck next time. We'll see how well he does during an alarm next week without his Hi-vis wardens jacket, the twat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 7 hours ago, Dee Man said: I always assumed Jaws was a male. Therefore he must have been fingering Jaws' ringpiece, so why would he lose a finger unless Jaws had teeth in his anus as well? In fact, even if Jaws was female and he was fingering her, why would he lose his finger in that situation? I don't think you've thought this through, Bert. More likely to lose the whole arm, imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 The front row at the snooker looks like the worst Christmas party ever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 13 minutes ago, Zen Archer said: The front row at the snooker looks like the worst Christmas party ever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 5 hours ago, Cille Mhernaig said: 1) block our driveway as 'they'll only be 2 minutes' Start kicking the car and tell them "I'll only be thirty seconds!" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 3, 2016 Share Posted December 3, 2016 6 hours ago, WILLIEA said: I don't know! Sure if a shark thought you were fingering it it would turn pretty f*ckin sharpish and you could lose a finger. I believe Swarley is best placed to test this out. They don't go up the Clyde as far as Hamilton Though a big orange whale once came up the Clyde as far as Ibrox. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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