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things you are so proud of


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7 hours ago, Cerberus said:

I pulled a lassie once but her fanny was minging but rather than tell her I pretended I fall asleep drunk and she fucked off out my house.

 

 

7 hours ago, Cerberus said:

I pulled a lassie once but her fanny was minging but rather than tell her I pretended I fall asleep drunk and she fucked off out my house.

 

A pair of fannies:angel

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I saved a wee bird (like a sparrow or something) from getting pecked to death by a magpie just last week.
Heard a lot of bird based commotion (squawking and the like) out the back garden. Looked out and this evil b*****d of a magpie is stood on this wee bird pecking the f**k out of it. All his wee bird mates were trying to swoop at and dive bomb the magpie but he had smelt blood and was going in for the kill. I shot out the back door and the magpie went to a neighbours tree. The wee fella was too traumatised to move for a bit and with the magpie staying close I just hung about until the magpie flew properly away then the wee bird went and hid under the fence.
the bird bouncer!
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16 hours ago, NJ2 said:

I saved a wee bird (like a sparrow or something) from getting pecked to death by a magpie just last week.
Heard a lot of bird based commotion (squawking and the like) out the back garden. Looked out and this evil b*****d of a magpie is stood on this wee bird pecking the f**k out of it. All his wee bird mates were trying to swoop at and dive bomb the magpie but he had smelt blood and was going in for the kill. I shot out the back door and the magpie went to a neighbours tree. The wee fella was too traumatised to move for a bit and with the magpie staying close I just hung about until the magpie flew properly away then the wee bird went and hid under the fence.

The magpie would have used it to feed it's young. It's when the furry 4 legged vermin called tiddles or mog start torturing widlife for fun that we really need to step in.

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The magpie would have used it to feed it's young. It's when the furry 4 legged vermin called tiddles or mog start torturing widlife for fun that we really need to step in.

There’s a bird feeder in my neighbours garden and I always put the end bits of the bread out. It was blood thirsty maniac.
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3 hours ago, Tony Ferrino said:

The magpie would have used it to feed it's young. It's when the furry 4 legged vermin called tiddles or mog start torturing widlife for fun that we really need to step in.

Spoiler

smudger.jpg.be1cfcf80253c633d14d2800eeadd578.jpg

you're claimed, cunto

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

The amount of people I see with smashed up phone screens and I've never had so much as a crack on any of mine. 

Don't know if that's really something to be proud of or just says something about the clumsiness of others. 

Just waiting for the inevitable happening now that I've said that...

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2 hours ago, Dee Man said:

The amount of people I see with smashed up phone screens and I've never had so much as a crack on any of mine. 

Don't know if that's really something to be proud of or just says something about the clumsiness of others. 

Just waiting for the inevitable happening now that I've said that...

Excellent post. You'd have to be some sort of dimwit to break your phone screen. I bought a rubber johnny for my phone for a pound, and the fecker is indestructible. 

I reckon I could chuck my phone out my top floor flat window and it would be absolutely fine. 

Edit: Just did it. Phone is fine. 

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu
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Excellent post. You'd have to be some sort of dimwit to break your phone screen. I bought a rubber johnny for my phone for a pound, and the fecker is indestructible. 
I reckon I could chuck my phone out my top floor flat window and it would be absolutely fine. 
Edit: Just did it. Phone is fine. 

Sent from my Nokia 3320.



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The amount of people I see with smashed up phone screens and I've never had so much as a crack on any of mine.  Don't know if that's really something to be proud of or just says something about the clumsiness of others.  Just waiting for the inevitable happening now that I've said that...

  

 

I'd genuinely estimate that (at least) half of the larger iPhone / Samsung types that I see people with have a smashed screen. It would seem that a £5 case for their £150+ bit of super-fragile kit is just an investment too far for most.

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I'd genuinely estimate that (at least) half of the larger iPhone / Samsung types that I see people with have a smashed screen. It would seem that a £5 case for their £150+ bit of super-fragile kit is just an investment too far for most.

Show me where you can get a large I-phone for £150 & a cover for a fiver? I’ll be on that like a bee on a sweet sweet nectar filled flower.
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