coprolite Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 2 hours ago, grumswall said: I have never understood how people can get so drunk/ out of it they can pish/ shite themselves. Iv been in some states but still always regained the control of my bowels etc. this reminds me of a whisky-followed-by-bong induced whiteout conundrum when i was at uni. i was shiting my ring out while simultaneously trying to vom it out the other end. I had a shared flat. i decided that the rear end should remain on the pan and vomit could go in the bath. Others may have made a different call. On the other hand, I'm proud of every massive fatty that I've been with. love them big gingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 On 5/18/2018 at 09:32, Adam said: I've also dumped a lassie by text, felt pretty terrible but just wasn't the type for me. Same. It didn't work out well as she resorted to phoning my work every hour for one week to hurl abuse at whoever answered the phone about me. Then tried to claim she was pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 13 hours ago, grumswall said: I have never understood how people can get so drunk/ out of it they can pish/ shite themselves. Iv been in some states but still always regained the control of my bowels etc. Not sure what you don't understand about it, when you drink alcohol you are consuming a lot of fluid which dehydrates you so its going to have an effect on your bowels and bladder. I've never had any accidents, the closest I have been to shitting myself has been the day after I have drank heavily though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted May 20, 2018 Author Share Posted May 20, 2018 Not sure what you don't understand about it, when you drink alcohol you are consuming a lot of fluid which dehydrates you so its going to have an effect on your bowels and bladder. I've never had any accidents, the closest I have been to shitting myself has been the day after I have drank heavily though. once woke up and id pissed in my chest if drawers. didnt realise until after my shower and opened the top drawer for a pair of boxers. must have opened the drawer pissed in it then closed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 A friend tells me that wrapping your bell-piece with a small piece of cloth then using a clothes peg to pinch the end of your Johnson can stop unwanted leakage in the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 once woke up and id pissed in my chest if drawers. didnt realise until after my shower and opened the top drawer for a pair of boxers. must have opened the drawer pissed in it then closed it. Lots of people I know do that, at least you’re getting up to pee rather than waking up wet though! One of my mates would always pish himself when drunk, he would just be too far gone to realise he needed a pee and would just go, happened when he slept on a couch at a party or on the bed he was sleeping on etc and he would always try and cover it up as he was embarrassed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 19 hours ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said: Didn't XBL once tell a story where he was on a bus in the US and the driver let a homeless fella on for free, but our dear friend took exception to this, remonstrating to such an extent that the driver felt compelled to make the poor guy get off. This in itself is the behavior of an utter welt, but to give the story some context, I'm sure this was during the depths of winter and by the time XBL got his way they were in the middle of no-where. The jakey subsequently froze to death. I'd like to think this is the ultimate P&B case of doing something you're not proud of, but it probably gives that fanny a stauner just thinking about it. Not quite. The guy was smoking on the bus, so xbl complained to the driver, who threw him off. According to xbl, the man was later found dead and frozen in the middle of nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 7 minutes ago, Lisa Cuddy said: Not quite. The guy was smoking on the bus, so xbl complained to the driver, who threw him off. According to xbl, the man was later found dead and frozen in the middle of nowhere. So, no-one was found dead anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Not quite. The guy was smoking on the bus, so xbl complained to the driver, who threw him off. According to xbl, the man was later found dead and frozen in the middle of nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumswall Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 Not sure what you don't understand about it, when you drink alcohol you are consuming a lot of fluid which dehydrates you so its going to have an effect on your bowels and bladder. I've never had any accidents, the closest I have been to shitting myself has been the day after I have drank heavily though. I don't understand how it can happen. I understand the science. But having never experienced it personally find it Hadd to fathom how someone would just pish themselves because they were blootered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 I don't understand how it can happen. I understand the science. But having never experienced it personally find it Hadd to fathom how someone would just pish themselves because they were blootered. But you are disorientated when you’re drunk and your brain isn’t working right. Combine that with the amount of fluid you are putting into your system it’s quite a likely outcome for some people. I pished the bed once after drinking Stella when I was 18 and haven’t touched it since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ah-dee Posted May 20, 2018 Author Share Posted May 20, 2018 Lots of people I know do that, at least you’re getting up to pee rather than waking up wet though! One of my mates would always pish himself when drunk, he would just be too far gone to realise he needed a pee and would just go, happened when he slept on a couch at a party or on the bed he was sleeping on etc and he would always try and cover it up as he was embarrassed. i hate my brother but ran into him at a friemds house around new year and decided to be civil. he passed out on a sofa face down and pished himself. im not going to lie i was elated ehen he woke up soaking in a room full of my mates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 i hate my brother but ran into him at a friemds house around new year and decided to be civil. he passed out on a sofa face down and pished himself. im not going to lie i was elated ehen he woke up soaking in a room full of my mates. That’s not very nice of you mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Lisa Cuddy said: Not quite. The guy was smoking on the bus, so xbl complained to the driver, who threw him off. According to xbl, the man was later found dead and frozen in the middle of nowhere. I was on a Greyhound bus from New York to New Orleans when someone (not me) complained about a guy smoking a spliff. He was an arsehole anyway, annoying people and keeping everyone awake. The driver told him not to worry, and chill out. Drove through a town and kept going to the Alabama/Louisiana (I think) border, where the cops were waiting for him. Turned out the punishment was much worse for dope possession on the other side of the border. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 8 minutes ago, Snafu said: Its not easy, almost impossible to piss with a boner, you should have kept it going. It would have saved your soul. Anyone with a youngish man's prostate can piss with an erection, it's just calculating the trajectory for the correct distance from the bowl that's tricky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grumswall Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 It's all about the lean, hand on wall in front (other surfaces are available) then move feet back till the stream is like a water gun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 2 hours ago, throbber said: But you are disorientated when you’re drunk and your brain isn’t working right. Combine that with the amount of fluid you are putting into your system it’s quite a likely outcome for some people. I pished the bed once after drinking Stella when I was 18 and haven’t touched it since. Where do you sleep now, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 I jokingly text a friend today saying that I had "Ejaculated my own body weight" in the last week since my girlfriend has been away and because I had nothing better to do at the time I calculated that I must have ejaculated about 25 kg in my life time. Whilst not even close to my own body weight that is still a bag of cements worth of ejaculate I have produced by the age of 31. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 That sock of yours must have fitted this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted May 20, 2018 Share Posted May 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, throbber said: I jokingly text a friend today saying that I had "Ejaculated my own body weight" in the last week since my girlfriend has been away and because I had nothing better to do at the time I calculated that I must have ejaculated about 25 kg in my life time. Whilst not even close to my own body weight that is still a bag of cements worth of ejaculate I have produced by the age of 31. And still within a one man lift. Safety first throbber. Even when tossing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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